Chapter One – Believe

She lay there as he crept into her room, having being satisfied that her parents were asleep, Carl would always come to her this way. He never asked permission, and he never pleasured her. It was also delivered in a business manner and Haley had become used to it. Maybe this was all it would ever be. As he shoved his hard penis into her, Haley felt the familiar pain shoot through her body. It was a pain that she had become used to, and she just turned her head and looked at the wall. He pushed himself in and out, and Haley closed her eyes, willing herself to sleep. This ordeal was always horrible, but it was always over quickly as Carl never had much stamina. He climbed off her, and left the room, without even saying so much of a thank you or a goodnight. Haley made her way to the bathroom, and cleaned herself up before heading back to her room. She pulled out her diary from under her bed. She put another line next to the tally that she kept at the back of it. It was an exact tally of how many times Carl had raped her. She counted them at the beginning, but now she had just lost count and the only proof she had was this tally in the back of the diary that her best friend had given her.

x

She awoke the next morning to her alarm going off, and she quickly hit the off button before getting up and dressing for the last day of school. This was it; this was the day where her life changed. She didn't have a clue what she was doing for the rest of her life, and her place of sanctuary was soon to disappear, along with her best friend who was starting Duke University to study English in the fall. She grabbed a slice of toast from the plate her Mom had left her, and headed out to the bus where she jumped on and sat next to Lucas; her best friend.

"Hey Hales!" Lucas said, pulling his headphones off of his head, and smiling at her. Haley looked at her friend with blond hair and blue eyes. His cheeky smile always made her feel safe, but today it couldn't. She had been dreading this day for the whole year, willing the year to be as slow as possible. She realised that she had zoned out, and Lucas was still chatting away. "...so yeah, Nathan's coming for graduation! So you'll get to see him this afternoon."

Haley's heart jumped at the sound of Lucas' brother's name. Haley had always had a massive crush on Nathan, and before Nathan had left two years ago for college, a relationship had nearly emerged. However, Carl's advance in abuse soon put a stop to this, as Haley was left damaged and insecure, scaring Nathan away. Although they had remained good friends, it had never been the same, and Haley had been honest when he had left for college that autumn.

x

Nathan straightened his tie in the mirror, nervous about seeing Haley for the first time in two years. He had never got over her, she had never realised but before they got together he had fallen in love with her, and the way she changed in one night, was the strangest thing – scaring him away. He had regretted being a coward, knowing that something, deep down was wrong with the beautiful girl that he loved. He couldn't believe that he could have been so stupid as to run away, when she clearly needed him the most. Two years on, Nathan knew he was stronger, and he was determined to win her back. Hence why he was back for the summer, he was determined to find out the root cause of why they never happened.

"Nathan, you ready?" He heard his mom Deb call up the stairs. Lucas was only Nathan's half brother, but there were such amicable links between the families that they even spent Christmas together. Karen, Lucas' Mom, was even married to his Uncle – Keith, unfortunately, Dan – Lucas' and Nathan's dad was nowhere to be seen, but everybody preferred it that way.
"As ready as I'll ever be" He mumbled.

x

Haley looked out among the crowd, she saw her parents and then she saw Carl, she looked away quickly, just looking at him made her sick. Her light blue gown was baggy on her now frail body and she relooked over her valedictorian speech, nerves really kicking in.

"And now for our valedictorian – Haley James" She found her feet lifting her up and walking her onto the stage, and she looked ahead, searching for a friendly face that wasn't sat next to her abuser, and she found Nathan.

x

He was shocked at how thin she had got, she had never been plump but this was a strange look. He wondered why Lucas didn't appear to be worried about her. She had a gaunt look about her, like the wind could just blow her away. He glanced over to her parents, watching as they looked on so proud of their daughter as she delivered a brilliant speech. He saw next to them her foster brother Kyle...no Carl! He shivered as Carl looked back at him. There was a strange feeling within Nathan as he glanced away, like there was something wrong with Carl, that there was more to meet the eye.

x

"Well done little Bro – You did brilliant!" Nathan said, clapping his hand on Lucas' back , and Lucas hugged him back.
"Thanks! Although the real star of the show was clearly Haley." Lucas said, smiling over at his friend who looked like she was in an awkward conversation with her foster brother.

"Lucas, Haley's lost so much weight." Nathan said and Lucas nodded.
"I know, and I'm worried – but the day you two decided against a relationship, she just closed up. She's completely changed, and no matter how hard I've tried to crack open her shell, she just wont let me all the way in. Its like something has happened which she's too ashamed to admit." Lucas said and Nathan nodded, understanding completely where his brother was coming from.

x

"Well done." He said, and she looked away, hating the fact that her parents had left her with him. She hated spending time with him, and the fact that he had to be here, ruined her day. He placed his hand on her arm, and she shrugged him off.
"Don't touch me" She whispered, and he chuckled before walking away. Haley took her graduation cap off and walked over to the bleachers in the gym, sitting down on them and burying her head in her hands.

"Penny for your thoughts?" She heard, and looked up into his piercing blue eyes.
"Nathan..." She whispered, and she could feel a small ember of hope turning into a spark.