Some Fantastic, Chapter Two
By GirlX2
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Ralph and Vanellope waited awkwardly at the port labeled 'Magic Quest' while Calhoun gave Felix an earful. They'd silently agreed not to get involved. Calhoun would never lay a hand on Felix in anger, but she'd be fine with knocking Ralph's lights out. Just one of the perks of being a big guy.
On the other hand, he wasn't the one being held up by his collar by an angry woman.
"…And if you ever keep something like this from me again, I'll make you wish you were never programmed! Got it!"
"Y-yes ma'am." Felix looked miserable. "Tammy, I just didn't want you to worry!"
"Whatever. We've got a game to save." Calhoun grumbled, but set the handyman back on the ground. Her face softened slightly. "You sure you wanna come?"
"You couldn't keep me away with wild goombas." Felix said bravely.
"I think short-stuff should stay home." Ralph gestured to the girl on his shoulders.
'Hey, it was my idea, skuzz face. You're not leaving me behind!" Vanellope protested.
"The kid comes with us. She's a hard nut." Calhoun winked at Vanellope. Ralph muttered under his breath about 'girl power', but didn't protest further.
"Do you even know how to do this kind of thing, Calhoun?"
"I'm the most advanced game in the arcade. I think I can manage a simple fake email to Litwiki." Calhoun shrugged.
"A what-mail?" Felix and Ralph chorused together.
"Don't those things take forever to dial up?" Vanellope added.
Calhoun just groaned. "Never mind! Just trust me. We're gonna infiltrate this game, get to the programming center, and send the email."
"Sounds easy enough." Ralph said doubtfully. "Which means something is going to go horribly wrong."
"Got your hammer, Felix? We might need it."
"Sure thing."
"Then let's go." Calhoun stepped into the dark tunnel, with Felix hurrying after.
"You sure you wanna go through with this? It could be dangerous." Ralph tried one last time.
"Hey, Felix is my friend too. I'm not just gonna sit by and let you guys get unplugged." Vanellope said. "Move your molasses!"
"Okay." Ralph took one last look at game central station and plunged into the dark.
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"Tammy? Tammy?" Felix cried out. "Tammy, please, say something!"
The darkness in the tunnel was all consuming. No train, nothing. Just total darkness and silence. Frightened, Felix spun around, trying to locate the exit. The light would guide him.
Except it was gone. No lighted doorway, no game central station beyond. Just darkness.
He swallowed and gripped his hammer tightly. 'Get a hold of yourself! Tammy's in here somewhere. Just feel around, and you'll find her.'
He reached one gloved hand out, but felt nothing. He tried to calm the clamor in his heart. What if Tammy wasn't okay? What if Ralph and Vanellope were hurt? What if-
A bright light bloomed into his vision, blinding him.
Felix shaded his eyes. "What in the world?"
"IDENTIFY." A voice boomed over him.
"Felix squinted against the light. "My name is Fix-It Felix Jr, sir. From the game, Fix-It Felix Jr."
"Fix-It Felix Jr…APPROVED." The mechanical voice boomed.
"Approved? What-"
"RACE…ELFLING."
"Um, I'm human, just small." Felix couldn't see anything but the blinding light. "Can you tell me-"
"OCCUPATION…CLERIC."
"A what? Sir I happen to be a handyman." He was getting annoyed. "If you'd please listen for a moment-"
"STARTING GAME…NOW."
The light vanished, and Felix blinked in surprise.
He was surrounded by trees, all brightly colored, but with realistic rendering. Tammy would look right at home here.
"Tammy?" He called, clutching his hammer. If anything had happened to her-
"Felix! Where are you?" Her voice came through the trees. "
"I'm here!" He called back, relieved.
"Stay where you are-I'll find you." She replied.
Felix looked around, but he couldn't spot her. "Ralph? Vanellope? You here?"
"Ralph, get me outta this tree!" Vanellope's voice cried out.
"I'm coming!" Ralph boomed.
Felix felt the ground shake as Ralph bounded closer. He turned, relieved that all his friends were alright. "Brother I-YIPES!"
The cry tore from Felix's throat as a monster came into view. It had green skin, fangs, and long, wild hair. Felix jumped, trying to hop into the nearest tree, but only get a few inches off the ground. There was no sproing, either.
"Felix! You okay?" The monster bent down, and Felix's heart nearly stopped from the shock
"R-Ralph?"
"Of course I'm Ralph. Who else would I be?" Ralph looked at him curiously. "What happened to you?"
"What are you talking about?"
Ralph gently grabbed Felix's head and pointed it downward. "I'm talking about the duds, pal."
Gone were his blue work clothes. He wore long blue robes, yellow boots, and a dark leather belt. His hammer seemed to be unchanged-part of the magic of it's programming.
"Your face…"
"M-my face?" Felix squeaked. "What's wrong with my face?"
"Well, for one thing, you're skin's red. Like, really, really red." Ralph grabbed his hand and pulled off the yellow leather glove. "See?"
"What in the world is happening?" Felix looked at his hand in amazement. The skin was indeed fire-engine red.
"I'm green!" Ralph stared at himself in wonderment. He was wearing torn remnants of battle armor and robes, but had no boots. His hands and feet were still enormous, even if they were green.
"Raaaaaalph!" Vanellope hollered from above their heads. "Help!"
They looked up. Directly above them, Vanellope dangled from the hood of a cloak off a tree branch. It was too high up for her to glitch down safely.
"She's purple!" Felix gasped as Ralph began climbing the tree.
'You're not looking so skin-toned yourself, Felix." Vanellope struggled to free herself. She was wearing blue robes, a blue dress, and thick black boots.
"Your ears are pointy!" Ralph said as he made it to the branch.
'So are yours." Vanellope looked dumbfounded as Ralph collected her.
"You three alright?" Calhoun jumped through the trees as the three regrouped.
"T-Tammy?" Felix gasped.
His wife stood clad in scanty leather armor, a short skirt, and little else. Her skin was a light blue, close to the color of Felix's own robes. Her ears had grown pointy, much like Vanellope's. She carried not a gun, but a long sword at her side.
"Felix, you okay?" She dropped to one knee.
"Jiminay Jaminay…" He murmured, averting his eyes. "Tammy, look at what your wearing!"
She did. "And?"
"Well, it's just s-so…well, I mean…" He stammered. "Aren't you cold?
"I'm fine, shortstack." She smiled a little. "You're allowed to look, you know. You're my husband."
"W-well, I guess so…"
She kissed him lightly. "You are adorable when you're flustered."
Ralph cleared his throat. "Um, I'm glad everyone's okay, but can someone explain what the heck happened?"
"Obvious, isn't it? The game assimilated us." She stood up, and looked at her sword with a frown. "Except for Felix's hammer, it seems."
"My land, was that what that voice meant when it called me an elfling?" Felix asked.
Vanellope burst out laughing. "It turned you into an elfling?"
"Hey, baroness boogerface, you're not in any position to make fun." Ralph nudged her. "What the heck are you?"
'The voice said I was a gnome." She shrugged. "You?"
Ralph's cheeks colored dark green. "Ogre."
"Figures. Calhoun?"
Calhoun shrugged. "I heard something about a Nymph. Not that that means anything to me."
"We're not stuck like this forever, are we?" Felix asked worriedly. He'd never be able to explain this to the nicelanders.
"Just until we get outta here, I suspect." Calhoun sheathed her sword. "So lets do what we came to do and get going."
"How are we supposed to do that? We don't even know where we are." Vanellope climbed onto Ralph's shoulder.
"We'll find someone and ask…um…"
"We'll find the central adventure area. That'll be where the programming matrix is." Tammy said. "So fall in, and follow me!"
She strode confidently into the trees.
"Think she really knows what she's doing?" Vanellope asked.
"I sure hope so." Felix hurried after her, trying not to trip over his new robes. He didn't like this new outfit at all.
He tried to hop to catch up, but his hop failed him again. He sighed and made a mental note; there'd be no hopping until this adventure was over. At least he still had his hammer. If someone, goodness forbid, got hurt, they'd need it.
"Halt!" Calhoun barked, and Felix skidded to a stop, nearly colliding with his wife's bare legs.
"What is it?"
She glared into the clearing before them. A number of people clad in brown peasant garb were wandering a small village. "Gamers."
"A-all of them?" Felix stared in amazement. It was like the entire cliental of the arcade in one spot!"I think so. Stick with me, Felix. This could be trickier than I thought.
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To be continued…
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A/N Remember, feedback is loved and appreciated. Every review helps my drive to make a new chapter.