Mr. Cullen's POV

The date was sub par to say the least.

We did, much to my disappointment go and see the newest Cameron Diaz. It had that guy from fucking that 70s Show in it, which is funny… when your high.

I got a half assed dick palming, and popcorn spilled all over my new DKNYs when Tanya got a little randy.

Needless to say I dropped off Tanya, claiming I had a stomach ache and flew out of her apartment parking lot like a bat out of hell. I didn't even walk her to her door; I used to be such a gentleman when I actually used to care.

I couldn't just dump her, claiming that I had fallen for someone else. There were several things wrong with this:

She would want to know who it was, and I couldn't just up and tell her it was the eyegasm delight that was Bella Swan.

She would get all clingy and depressed, and she was a teacher at the same school that I was. I didn't want to be the bad guy… they served Starbucks at the meetings- I couldn't just let that up.

She would probably be up for a threesome, which would be hot if Tanya didn't pale so much in comparison to Bella. I'm sure that Bella could simultaneously get us all of at the same time.

Who else could I get constant pussy from? Sure, I would take my hand over Tanya's slightly misshaped coital instruments, but I cam too quickly when I was by myself. If I had Tanya, then I could prolong my pleasure for as long as I stared at her and didn't think about Bella.

I am a dick, a big one. Everyone knows this, I know this, my parents know this, hell, even Bella knows this. I like being an asshole. It makes me different from the pristine teachers that I am forced to work along with.

Being an asshole has made me hang onto my youth, something I'm going to need if I'm going to be boning Bella every night if I have anything to say about it.

Mmmm… Bella.

Now, I'm all for 'road head' puts a thrilling spin on things, but there's something slightly creepy of a guy jacking himself as he drives past the students dorms and looks into the window of the beloved slut that is Bella.

I don't do this often it just so happens that I enjoy sitting by the fountain outside of the west wings of student dorms. And it just so happens that Bella happens to have a dorm on the second floor, facing the fountain… in the west wing of student dorms.

Okay, I'm not going to lie. I would abso-fucking-lutely love to climb up to her window and take her virginity on her twin sized bed like some perverted Tooth Fairy (I would leave her the used condom under the pillow- I'm not a jackass) and then climb back out like some perverted Romeo Montague. And then maybe climb through her chimney… like some kind of perverted Santa Clause. And then maybe make her suck on my eggs… like some kind of perverted Easter Bunny. But that's like, pretty much it.

The thing is that her window faces right to the fountain, which is right in front of the Dean's office. Which has surveillance cameras and all that fancy high tech shit. So, I would be caught, and then thrown in jail and then raped and stuff for doing absolutely nothing, so I usually forwent that particular weird holiday character/ tragic love character fantasy of mine.

So I usually just lived with sitting morosely on the stupid fountain that I swear must have been used in St. Elmo's fire because it said 'Knowledge, Art, Religion, and Life' which was just pathetic because this school was trying so hard to be profound that it was stealing props from one of the best/ worse movies in the great decade dubbed the 80s. What was even more pathetic was that I was sitting on the life side. I was officially the new Kirby Keger. Only I would be played by Rob Lowe… I'm no Estevez.

I just wish that Bella/ Dale Biberman would smile at me. Or like, come all over my hand. Either one is pretty damn fine with me.

It was starting to get dark and I couldn't just keep sitting here looking all sexy like Rob Lowe, and thinking about Bella with a perm, and Bella licking eggs suggestively, and chimneys, and getting raped in jail… and I kind of was hard because of the whole sexual frustration because I hadn't come in like two hours. And Stan, the oldest security guard was eyeing me, and I decided that I would save my raping for my inevitable jail sentence; I could get such lovely perks:

Getting complimented on my dick taking abilities (believe me, I would not cry… take it like a man and all that shit)

Maybe have a future career as a porn star from word of mouth.

Get extra food from the cafeteria. I did in fact let them sodomize me, what's an extra handful of tater tots?

Being known as the guy with the 'great ass'. Who wouldn't like that?

Thinking about 'tight asses' and shit like that was getting me harder, and I could see Stan was inching in my direction, so with a final lustful look in Bella's direction (I'm assuming, I hope to God Stan didn't interecept… it would make for some awkward conversations over the next staff meeting) I hopped back into the trusty Volvo and sped towards my apartment. I had an appointment with a shower and a bottle of body wash.

The appointment was prolonged. There was a message on my machine, it was Jessica jacking off. The moans and hard breathing could be easily substituted into Bella's, but the dirty talking and loud squelching noises could not. I deleted it without listening to it all.

The second one was from my mom, and I hadn't talked to her in like a month, so I called her back and I swear to God the woman talked for like two hours. I had to pretend my phone was dying just so I could get into that God forsaken shower.

Both Jessica's cum moans, and my mom going on about chandeliers had made my erection die down until it was almost sucked back into my body cavity, but as soon as I stepped into that stall and pictured Bella's wet hair I was hard as if I had been wanting to fuck all say. Which I had, but come on I had interruptions, and I was thinking about rape and all that shit, and I was still hard for her.

That was fucking devotion.

So I grabbed my Strawberry body wash, because it smelled just like her, and was used solely for shower jacking, so don't think I'm some girly guy who likes to surround my self in some cum hungry slut's scent (which I do, but that's beside the point… and she's not a slut… but cum hungry? Fuck yeah…).

I had to keep imagining Jessica on that machine doing some labia pulling to get me to calm the fuck down. I suddenly wished I had saved the message. Mental note: install answering machine in bathroom. For that matter, move entire contents of house into bathroom.

So I was doing pretty good, with the whole being distracted thing. I hadn't even touched myself yet, which was a huge step forward considering I couldn't even look at water without like, busting a nut these days.

Okay, I'm an adult. I need to stop with the movie referances, and the lists, and saying 'busting a nut' and being an altogether immature fool.

Oookay, now that that's out of the way, now to jack off to thoughts of my barely legal student!

I tried to take it slow, thinking about her face first, and then thinking about undressing her and BAM she was naked and I was fucking the proverbial shit out of her. God fucking Jesus Christ! I almost came… so I started thinking about kittens, and my grandpa, and Mary Magdalene. It kind of worked… but Mary was a girl right? And so was Bella, and I wanted Bella… so I had to want Mary right? Goddamn me and my hormonal brain, I'm past my sexual peak, but I don't think my body was aware of this fact.

"Okay, keep it together Eddie boy," I said quietly, my voice echoing off the steamy stall. I patted him on the head once for good measure… twice… okay, three times… four… so fucking good…. five, Bella suck my fucking cock… six… I'm gunna come, and STOP! So I stopped just as I was about to blow my load all over the undeserving glass shower door.

I decided to go for a different approach, shutting off the water and just sitting on the tub until all the water went down the drain and only the steam remained. I felt like I was in a sauna. So, I pictured there was an old naked guy next to me as I started up again. It helped kinda, but the guy had brown hair… and so did Bella. Did that mean I liked the guy? Fucking stupid hormones.

The first wave of telltale ecstasy hit me. I practically threw my hands back. I chanced a look down at Eddie. He looked mad. He was all twitchy and swollen and basically fuckng glaring at me. He even spit a little. So rude. When I thought it would be safe to touch him without getting hurt, I did.

I basically was only using one finger, knowing that if I used a full hand I would have been in trouble because it hadn't even been five minutes since I sat down. So I was just kind of tracing, using that one finger… and my dick was literally a volcano. I was fucking oozing pre- cum out of the swollen head of my dick and it was getting to be kind of painful.

So I did something bad. I pictured Bella in my shower with me. Just the mere thought that she would be in such close proximity to me while naked was enough to send me into a frenzy and Eddie finally found solace, spewing his happiness all over my fist… and maybe some in the air too… and some on my stomach… but that was all, and I was proud of myself because I had held out for longer than I thought I would.

It was then that I looked up and saw Tanya.

Thank fucking Rob Lowe that I hadn't said Bella's name.

Bella's POV

He was out at the fountain again.

I only noticed him because I had just gotten out of my bathroom because it was Wednesday and it was pillow stimulation day. I had gotten somewhat messy and needed to go and get some of the top quality toilet paper to clean up my poor defiled bed wear.

He was sitting on the 'Life' side like fucking Kirby Keger, and I just wanted to fuck him like fucking Andie McDowell should have(well, I wanted to fuck him like Ally Sheedy fucked Andrew McArthy, because that was just a quintisential sex scene), because he looked so cute, and like he was thinking about something really hard. And I was already wet and ready for some more finger loving.

I didn't really consider why he was at the fountain again, probably waiting for Tanya or something… or maybe Stan, they seemed to have in depth conversations.

'In depth' made me think of Mr. Cullen in my depths. Lord fuck, I just changed my underwear. There was no real avoiding it, I knew that when I started thinking about depths and Mr. Cullen, and fucking 80's sex scenes and shit that this night was going to end with another sexual session.

Second session of the evening? Free for all.

I practically sling shot myself into my computer chair and to the window, I knew that no one could see in my room, so I positioned myself with my legs on either side of the plastic handles and went crazy.

Just the sight of him there, with his lip all puffed out and him looking all brooding and pensive had me coming like a fucking horny school. Which I was.

It was actually kind of pathetic. It took like, ten seconds.

I could only imagine actually having sex with him, it would only take like a minute.

And that's when I passed out.

"Bella! What the fuck?! Why aren't you waking up?! Fucking give the goddamned key Jasper!" It was Alice's voice fucking vibrating my room. It was night… why would I have to be up? As I heard the key turning in the lock it was then that I remembered my predicament.

I was bare back in a computer chair, legs spread, fucking cum all over the chair, and… I was in front on the window. Before I could even move I heard a gasp, a whistle, a loud crash, and then laughter.

Fucking Emmett, Alice, Jasper and Rosalie in my room. I was still in the same position. In my sleep I had turned the chair around slightly, so I was now half facing them.

"The fuck…" Jasper muttered quietly. He was sprawled across the floor in complete disarray. The guy had on a fucking pair of plaid pants and large Mexican blanket as a sort of cape. The guy was a self proclaimed 'Southern Hipster'… which basically meant that everything he wore had to have something plaid involved. He even had a kilt that he frequented regularly.

Emmett was the one who whistled apparently. The guys muscles were fucking straining against his burgundy rugby shirt, and the veins looked a little more pronounced than usual. "Bella… a fan of Brazilian wax's I see?" The fucker was blasé about everything.

Rosalie was the laugher, she was fucking giggling into her hand like a fucking donkey and I wanted to kick her in the face.

Alice hadn't moved, the key still clutched in her hand.

"You wanna put your legs down there babe?" Alice asked after a while. I realized that I was still spread eagle, so I quickly snapped my legs shut. "Um… I'm assuming it's Mr. Cullen?" she asked, they all knew about my infatuation (and unrelenting horniness) with Mr. Cullen. It had become sort of a pastime for most of them to make fun of me about when they were bored.

"Well… yeah." I said, it was fucking obvious wasn't it? Like who else could reduce me to this position. Mmm… Mr. Cullen… positions.

And then I passed out again.

This time I woke up on my bed with Alice and Rosalie hovering over me. I had clothes on, I wasn't in front of the window, and my legs weren't open as wide as before.

"So… did you think about the cunningulus again?"I made the mistake of confiding in Jasper the first time I passed out, big mistake.

"Well, no… it was more like he was sitting at the fountain, and yeah, the whole position I was in and everything… but I'm like totally fine now. Like, barely even horny right now." I said proudly, much to the disagreement of my friends.

"That's such shit," Jasper said from my arm chair. He was smoking a joint in my room, fucking douche.

"Fucking open a window, you stupid fuck," Rosalie beat me to the punch.

"I don't know if we should, I mean will she try to fuck it? That window has serious sentimentality to it now you know." Emmett chimed in from where he was sitting on the floor, his hulking back up against my door.

"That's so funny." I said dryly, standing up. I then realized that I was fully dressed, deodorized and pantie-afied.

"Alice, you know I like to forgo panties for Mr. Cullen. It's only common courtesy. Not to mention hella polite." I said, trying to shimmy out of them without giving a free show.

"Fuck Bella!" Jasper yelled, his eyes all red and hooded, "That is so fucking rude!" He was so serious that I started laughing, and so did everyone else but he just curled up in his Mexican blanket and started to stroke it.

"Bella, if you take those off, I swear to God that I'm going to the guidance counselor, this is one encounter too many." Alice was pretty fucking serious so I decided to suck it up and wear the damn underwear.

The things I have to deal with.