[A/N:] I'm doing this really quickly so there will be a good few mistakes and will be quite short for the time being until I fix it up. But this is basically the way it will go. All comments are welcome.
Chapter 2
The weekend was uneventful because of alot of reasons. Firstly, I didn't have any money to go out anywhere even if I did have a life in which I actually did things at the weekends, secondly I was looking after my brother and sister and thirdly my really only friend that I would go out with was Emma who always spent the weekend at her fathers place in Seattle.
On monday morning I seriously considered not getting up. I would have to face Jared (who I hated right now but I still liked and I hated him for me liking him too) and Jane who always had every guys attention and was constantly on the recieving end of my envious glares. Not that she cared, or even noticed, like most people at school.
I did get up however and decided that today would be the day that I would not feel bad about Jared Talin not talking to me because today was the day that I would stop obsessing over him and day dreaming of him and today was definitely the day that I would stop loving him. I was determined to.
I even considered slapping the smirk off Janes face as I walked by, but quickly thought better of it. I might have thought brave but I knew I wasn't. I was still always going to be stupid timid Kim! But I would however look Jared in the eye today without spluttering or getting embarassed because today was the day that I was done with him.
That was the plan anyway. Of course it didn't happen like that. Jared wasn't in at all which only led me to think about him more, he was rarely off school. The more I thought about him the more I worried until I was completely convinced that he was dying or something. I mentally slapped myself. Getting over him was not going to be easy, especially If I couldnt look at him one last time before I tried to shut down my stupid feelings for him.
He didn't come in the next day or the next or all the next week as a matter of fact, so I thought that I was getting over him. I had almost convinced myself of it. I hadn't written 'Kim 4 Jared' in my Diary in over six days. That was probably because I threw it under my bed somewhere to avoid looking at how much I did write that but whatever, I was getting there, I had to be.
I cracked in Biology one day amd practically screamed at Emma "Where is he? Has he completely left school? Do you think that he's okay? What if something happened?" I rambled on until she finally yelled at me.
"Oh God Kim, you have to stop! LET HIM GO! He has treated you horribly Kim, you need to stop it right now."
I wanted to, I so badly wanted to but I had liked him for years. I didn't even think that I really wanted to give him up. I felt horribly empty wihtout him and I realised that my feelings for him only grew. I needed him. I was so pathetic I couldn't even stand myself. Emma became really worried and was cconstantly asking if I was okay, even Sarah and Cody noticed I wasn't smiling anymore. I felt so useless and this was all over that idiot called Jared Talin!
I dug out my diary again and wrote about him. It seemed to fill a large hole and I was content for a while. I despised my very hands for writing about him but I needed to. I needed to just so I could function. Jane's words replayed in my head as what she said that day often did. I was a loser.
I didn't doubt it for a second.
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-Goldangel.