It wasn't that Erica Hartmann was lazy, she just didn't see the merits of constantly cleaning her side of the room when the next time she sortied could be her death. Sure she would make a half-hearted attempt at it whenever Minna made it an order or when Trude got legitimately annoyed with her and threatened to start chucking everything into the incinerator. Even then, Erica couldn't view cleaning her room as anything other than (mostly) a waste of time. It didn't help that she was always tired; she hadn't gotten a full night of sleep since her early days in the JG52.

She had always been a light sleeper but it had gotten worse since she had joined the military, her body now waking her to the slightest sounds. Erica also tossed and turned frequently which usually left her to wake in strange positions stripped of her undershirt or panties (or both). So every morning when Gertrud gave her the first gentle call to wake up she heard it but knew that she could squeeze in another thirty minutes in bed before being physically pulled out of bed and dumped into her uniform by her best friend. Not that she really minded that either; she was greedy for any attention she could get from the bigger girl.

This morning was no different and when she heard, "It's 0600 Erica, time to wake up." She mumbled and turned to face the wall to hide the small smile on her face, their game had started. She actually did begin to doze again, falling into that sweet haze of sleep but still distantly aware of Trude moving about on the other side of the room.

"Erica." The sound of her name brought her back from the brink of sleep. "You need to get out of bed and get dressed, we have morning duty today." Gertrud was still using her gentle voice, giving Erica the benefit of doubt and not yet forced to start yelling in order to rouse the blonde from her bed.

Erica mumbled again and twisted around under the blanket. Now facing Trude she opened an eye and saw that the girl was, of course, already fully dressed and looking ready to head out. "Nhh, thirty more minutes." Erica whined.

"No, Erica, you need to get up now, we have to go into town today." Gertrud's voice beginning to rise in warning.

"Two more hours." Erica sounded as if she were pouting but she had pulled the blanket up to cover the grin on her face.

Trude snorted, "You can't be serious."

"Five more minutes."

Gertrud now stood at the Siegfried Line, hands on her hips, "Zero more minutes. Now get up or I'm going to drag you out of bed by your ankles."

The smaller girl moaned in protest but finally sat up. She liked these moments of back-and-forth; it was like they were both playing a game that either refused to acknowledge. It was fun and she knew Gertrud enjoyed it as well, even if the serious girl would endure torture rather than admit it. "If we're going into town can we go to the candy store?"

"You're not going anywhere if you don't get out of bed and get dressed." Trude dead panned as she watched the blond slowly extract herself from her blanket.

Finally on her feet Erica began to search for her panties which had disappeared from her body at some point and into the abyss that was her side of the room. Though out of the corner of her eye she could see Trude blush and turn her head away; that made her smile. "So we can go, right? I want–

"Oh no," Gertrud faced Erica again, the girl had to be stopped now. "You can get one chocolate bar, no more than that." She said sharply and forced her vision to remain on Erica's top half.

"Aw, c'mon Trude." Erica whined as she tugged her (finally found) panties back on, "Let me get at least a few." She picked her way across the disaster area that was her floor and stood in front of Trude, separated only by the fencing that divided the room. "I'll buy some for you too. I know how much you love cordial cherries." She put on her best pout and pleading eyes and watched as Gertrud's face flushed. She was so cute!

The brown haired girl had to look away before it was too late, she had lost to that look too many times in the past and no matter how many times it was used against her she always found herself into giving in to Erica and whatever she wanted. "Absolutely not! Chocolate is too expensive because of rationing as it is and if I let you have more than one you'll eat yourself sick. Just like last time. You can have one and you can only eat it after dinner."

"But–

"Keep it up, Hartmann," Trude's eyes locked and broke past the (beautiful) pleading blue of Erica's, "and the only candy you'll be getting is that nasty stuff Eila likes so much."

Erica recoiled physically at the memory of tasting the vile candies that the Soumi girl could happily eat an entire box of. "How does she eat that stuff? Is she even human? ...Are we sure she isn't a Neuroi in disguise?"

Barkhorn laughed and shook her head, "Eating candy that tastes like salt and floor polish makes me question her sense of taste but I don't think it makes her a Neuroi. Now finished getting dressed."

Leaving Erica to rummage through the piles of clothes on her floor, Gertrud walked back over to her mirror to give herself a final once over. She had already anticipated that Erica would want to go by the candy store, and probably the book store as well, and had budgeted time for it already. She knew that spoiling the girl like this did nothing to help Erica's less-than-serious attitude, but it was one of the few things Barkhorn could do for her. She couldn't give Erica what she really wanted, not at the moment, so she made up for it by buying things for her and giving in to her requests, at least the more reasonable ones.

Gertrud's thoughts were interrupted as Erica's arms slipped around her from behind and she felt the smaller girl's head rest against her back. A bolt of fear shot through her and her first instinct was to quickly pull away but she managed to still herself; this little bit was alright to have, wasn't it? Gertrud rested her hands on top of Hartmann's and the two stayed like that for a long quiet moment.

"Thank you." Erica said softly and slipped from the hug.

Gertrud turned with a sad and almost pained look on her face but then she saw Hartmann's state of dress and a small smile came to her face, "I swear Hartmann..."

Erica grinned as Trude went about straightening out her uniform coat; making sure it was sitting on her shoulders correctly and picking stray lint and hair from it. This was something else she enjoyed, being fussed over like this by Gerturd.

"Are you going to wear your hat today?" Barkhorn asked, trying to smooth down a lock of Erica's hair that was doing its best to defy gravity.

"Eh?" Erica made a confused noise. Her Schirmmutze cap was technically only required for formal dress occasions, "Are one of us getting a medal today or something?" It was completely possible, she had forgotten about several of her own medal ceremonies in the past.

Barkhorn shook her head, "No, I just...uh..." a blush rose high on her cheeks and just the tips of her ears, which Erica found adorable, "I just think...it looks really good on you. That's all." By the time she had finished speaking her voice was almost inaudible and her blush had turned bright red.

Erica giggled and felt her own cheeks flush lightly at the compliment, "Okay Trude, I'll wear it for you. ...If I can find it."

Gertrud sighed and shook her head though the corner of her lips were hooked upward in a tiny smile, "What am I going to do with you, Erica?"

"Ask for my hand." Erica replied in a suddenly serious voice absent of any of her usual playfulness.

A pit opened up inside of Gertrud, one that drained any color from her face and filled her with a cold fear. She knew how serious Erica was in saying that and that is why she couldn't respond to it. So she took the cowardly way out as she always did and simply ignored it. "Hu-hurry and finish getting ready." Her voice shaking she had already turned away from Hartmann and was headed for the door, "I'm g-going to bring the truck around front, okay?"

She didn't wait for a response before escaping into the hallway. Erica stared as the door shut behind the girl she loved and let out a heavy sigh. Why were things like this when they both knew how they felt?

Walking briskly, Gertrud was halfway to the vehicle depot when she had to top and lean against a wall. She clutched at her chest and felt her heart beating faster than it did even when she was in direct combat with a Neuroi. Nothing else on Earth made her heart race like Erica Hartmann. But how could she tell the girl that she loved her when she herself was so weak? How could she tell her that she wanted to be at her side forever as her lover when she wasn't even strong enough to bear Erica's burden in this war so she'd never have to risk her life fighting again?

How could she ask for Erica's hand when she couldn't offer her their homeland to go back to? Gertrud was strong, perhaps one of the strongest witches ever, but it still wasn't enough. She didn't have the strength alone to destroy enough Neuroi to keep Erica safe and on the ground and she hadn't had the strength back then to prevent Karlsland from becoming a smoldering ruin. The Neuroi had taken everything from her and she had never been strong enough to stop it. Her family and her home were both gone, save for her little sister, and she was sure that Chris blamed her for it even if the little girl would never say it out lout.

So she trained her body and mind every day. She would become the strength needed to make sure nothing was ever taken from her again. She would become strong enough to ensure Erica's complete safety so that one day she could look at her beloved's angelic face and be able to tell her what she so desperately needed to say and what Erica so desperately wanted to hear. Until then though she couldn't. She had no right to say such a selfish thing while being too weak to bear everything herself. Until then she would live with the pain of hurting them both by being silent. After the war was over she could spend her life happily with Erica and make that pain up by a thousandfold, right? Erica would still be able to smile at her once this was all over, right?

Nothing scared Gertrud Barkhorn more than loving Erica Hartmann.

Later that morning she bought Erica two chocolate bars.