Sorry it took me so long to update...but no one reviewed anyway, so it wasn't really motivating for me, to be honest. Anyway, hope you'll enjoy...and remember English isn't my first language, so I tried my best !

...

Maybe it was the the shock of being suspended? Kate's resignation, or his fight with Ryan? He didn't really know, but he was sure of one single think : he was about to have a talk with Lanie Parish.

So he entered her bedroom, and locked the door behind him.

Lanie was searching for a coat in her wardrobe. When she saw him locking her bedroom door, she frowned. Then here he was, standing in front of the door, arms crossed, and looking at her.

"What…are you doing?" she asked.

"Ryan was right. About talking to Gates." He simply answered. Lanie frowned again.

"I'm sorry what?"

"Secrets ruin everything. And then we lose the ones we love. »

"What's your point, Javi?" she added, walking to him and the door.

"You dumped me. You stopped everything between us. Overnight. And you never really explained me why. It's killing me. »

Lanie frowned. She wasn't expecting that. And she doesn't want to talk about it.

"Let me go of my room." She ordered. "I'm gonna drive you home, you're angry and you're upset. We will talk about this later. »

« When ? » he barked, frowning. « In two months ? Six ? One night in the morgue between two cases? Or maybe next time you'll give me my clothes back after having sex with me, and telling me that you don't want me in your life?"

Lanie bite her lips. He was totally right, and the way he described her made her feel she wasn't even human for acting like that.

"I told you I need some space, Javi."

"And I gave you some."

"I warned you, when we slept together again. I told you, you won't have anything else. And you agreed."

"Because it was the only way I could be with you again, Lanie! You really think I'm gonna keep sleeping with you twice a week, then watching you pushing me away until the last day of my life?"

"I'm not asking for anything. You're free to go. That's in the rules." She replied, so cold.

Javier laughed, bitterly.

"Oh yeah. Your rules, Lanie. They were never mine. And I don't want to follow them anymore anyway…"

"Jav…"

"No YOU listen to me."

She sighed and crossed her arms.

"Fine."

"Fine." He repeated, proud of him, because he convinced her.

He cleared his throat.

"Okay…You know, for me at first, you only were like…a game. A stupid bet I did with myself."

She nodded. She perfectly was aware that Detective Casanova wasn't really the man of one and one girl only, at the time. He quite had the reputation.

"I always was a ladies' man."

"Oh, I know that." She cut him.

He shrugged with a tiny smile.

"Can't help it, I love women. Love their complexity, their way of seeing the world…love their confort, their soft skin…and I love to see I can flirt with many, many women…It's just…so flattering. »

Lanie didn't say anything, but smiled a bit. She had to admit, she had always loved when he was flirting with her, when they were just colleagues.

"When I date a girl, I usually can't stay too long with her…So I explain her I'm not looking for a committed relationship, and I go away. It always worked that way…"

But then he stopped himself and sighed, looking at her with all his love and desperation.

"But with you, chica…"

He reached her cheek with his hand and touched her soft chocolate skin, making her shivering.

"I don't know what happened to you in the past, Lanie...Don't know who kind of jerk hurted you so much that you don't want to be serious with me, anymore... but what I know is that… I'm crazy about you, Lanie. I still am, now…and I'm pretty sure you like me too."

She smiled at the end of his sentence, tears in her eyes. She bited her lips again and looked down at her feet, but she still didn't talk. She was speechless after his confession.

"So if you only want us to be "booty calls."Javier added, " then we will be. I'll keep making love to you in each room of your apartment, until you'll be sick of me. Just, don't ask me not to feel anything about you. Because I can't."

Lanie was still silent, she was about to cry.

"Lanie, you spend so much time with dead bodies…Looks like you're afraid to live for real yourself…"

Biting her lips again, Lanie nodded. He was so right. And she owed him an explanation.

Finally, she talked again.

"You...you know the birthmark you have on the left hip?"

Esposito frowned. He didn't expected that.

«...yeah, what about it ? »

« That birthmark has such a funny shape…like a tiny country…Can't remember which one, though. » she smiled.

Esposito frowned again.

"Lanie, what's your point?"

"You remember the Felicio Alvarez Case?"

Another question. But this time, he didn't remember.

"Nope."

Lanie smiled again, sadly.

"Of course you don't…I sometimes remember them more than you actually do...He was 32. A volunteer firefighter. We found him dead in a back street last october. He was only doing his job, when two gangs who were fighting, decided to shot him, for no reason."

After her explanations, Esposito nodded.

"Yeah…I remember, now. What about him?"

"When his wife came to ID him, it was one of the most horrible moment in all my career…" she whispered, still saddened by the memory.

"Why that?" he tried to understand, seeing how much she was tense about it.

"Because he had a birthmark, just like you, on the same hip…"

He raised an eyebrow.

"…So?"

"So, it reminded me of us, Javi. When she told me Felicio totally changed for her, that he was such a ladies man in the past, but then he changed for her, and became the best boyfriend ever…It really reminded me of you."

Esposito grinned.

"So... You think I was the best boyfriend ever?" he joked.

She rolled her eyes and sighed heavily.

"Boy, you don't get it."

"Not really." he confessed with a quick laugh.

"It freaked me out, Javi…" she murmured with a trembling voice.

"...Why?"

"Because It could have been you on my table!" she screamed. She finally said it.

"And I can't handle it."

"Lanie… it wasn't me…" he said, with a soft voice.

"But it could have been you, Javi. You know it. You're a cop, you do a tough and dangerous job…and I'll never survive if I see you on my table… "

"Chica…"

She stopped him, bitting her lip.

« No, let me finish. The night I did the autopsy of Felicio, we had this double date, with Ryan and Jenny..."

"Oh yeah. That disaster… " Javier remembered.

"When Jenny asked us about the marriage…It was just…Too much to handle. I was so scared to lose you… "

"Well in the end, you still lose me. You broke up with me, Lanie. "

She shrugged.

" I know…But at the time, I thought, it was the best thing to do… "

" Really ? "

" Yeah…I wanted to forget you because I don't want to be the one who'll be broken when something will happen to you."

Javier realized how much she was so scared.

"Baby, by acting like that, you'll never live anything… » he said, stepping towards her. He gently touched her arm.

"By spending so much time with dead people, you act like you're already dead yourself, Lanie…and I don't get why you pushed me away, because I know our relationship meant something to you. Don't try to deny it…"

"I don't." she smiled. "You know it meant something to me."

"Like it meant something to me." He added.

" I just thought that with time, I'd forget about you. "She said, crossing her arms against her chest.

"And did it work?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. " Because it's not the impression you gave me, last week, when we did it on the counter of your kitchen, and when you were biting my shoulder so hard that you almost made me cry.."

"Shut up, Esposito." She cut him, but she couldn't help and smiled. "Besides, I thought you liked it."

He smiled too.

" Oh I did...and I know you miss me."

"You know I do. But I don't want to lose you."

"You won't, Lanie."

"Javi, you're not immortal." She replied with sassiness.

"You're not either, Doc. »

"Touché."

"Look, Lanie… I still want to be with you….But if you're too afraid to give a real chance to our relationship, I can't help you…"

His voice was sad, disappointed. He wanted to be with her SO badly, and she knew that.

While she remained silent, He grabbed the door handle.

" I'm glad we talked...I should go, now…You still okay to drive me home?" he asked, seriously.

But Lanie smiled and shook her head.

"Oh no, I'm not." were her last words before her lips were on his. She had jump on him so quickly, Javi didn't have enough time to realize it, but when he finally was aware that she was kissing him, he deepened the kiss and stroke her hair with his two hands, pulling her closer, like he never wanted to let her go again.

"I want you to stay…all night…" she whispered against his lips after a few seconds, without opening her eyes again.

He didn't answer anything but kissed her again with all his passion, biting her lower lip slightly, imparting his mark in her and reminding her how much he loved her.

"As you wish, doc" he finally whispered against her lips, before kissing her again with all he had.

...

When the first sunbeam entered the room the next morning, it was Javier Esposito himself who pressed the off button of her alarm clock. He heard her groaning in her sleep. She had her head on his chest, while he surrounded her with his bare arm.

"Shh, go back to sleep, chica. " Javier whispered, closing his eyes again.

The end

Hope you liked it. I worked hard on the translation but I'm sorry if there is some mistakes. Please review if you liked it, thank you so much! Aw I love Esplanie SO much. I want them back season 5!