Okay, after percolating on this a bit, I think it might actually go somewhere. (Don't forget, this was originally created in a drunken haze. But it was a fun drunken haze.) I've got some history for Alexis that might actually lead to a plot.

As stated previously, this will most likely be pure, unadulterated Mary Sue, but Imma try to make it amusing at least and somewhat well written with logical plot lines and character actions. If that makes any sense. I make no guarantees on keeping Alucard in character. I'll do the best I can, but I AM taking into account that over a century of servitude and then losing a human that he cared about as much as or possibly more than Mina could change him in some ways. That's just logical.

Also, please be aware that at this time, my priority is The Formative Years, so updates for this fic may be rather irregular. I apologize in advance to anyone that just falls in love with this fic and feel free to beg for updates via reviews. That will probably spur me to write more. I get more words down when I'm energized by positive feedback. True story. *nods*

Chapter 2: Acquiring a Roommate

Alexis woke with a raging headache. She groaned and rolled over, blinking at the twilight darkness in her bedroom. Why was there a coffin in her room? She scowled at the incomprehensible sight. Everyone she knew had died a long time ago. Had someone come back to haunt her? Maybe it was Jared. The bastard deserved it after abandoning her last night. Oh god. Last night…

Gasping, she sat up in bed, remembering the impossible events of the previous night. Who had rescued her? Surely not that…thing. But her mind wouldn't offer up anything else. And there was the coffin.

"This can't be happening." Her words seemed to echo in the darkness although the acoustics in her room weren't right for it. She looked around again, feeling like this must be a lucid dream, but even being aware of it didn't break the scenery. She didn't wake.

Scowling, she climbed out of the bed. She still wore the same short skirt and v-neck blouse she'd donned for her date the night before. That didn't bode well for her dream theory.

Biting her bottom lip, she padded across the floor to the coffin. Kneeling down, she wedged her fingers under the lid and lifted. It had no hinges, and although it was heavy, it slipped to the side as soon as the far edge cleared the lip of the coffin. She gasped as it clattered off to the side, revealing a black haired, red-clad body inside.

She knew that face. It'd had fangs the night before and had eaten one of the men trying to rape her. No. Not possible. Just a dream that she couldn't wake up from.

The red eyes opened.

Yelping, Alexis leaped back from the coffin's side, her heart pounding. Why had she opened the damn thing anyway? It had seemed a good idea at the time…and this was a dream anyway, right?

The body didn't move. The scarlet eyes stared at the ceiling, unblinking. After a moment, they drifted closed again.

Okay. So…she had a vampire in her bedroom.

Oh, that sooo didn't sound right. She should probably be shopping for a mental institution right about now. What would they diagnose her with? Dementia, probably. Or schizophrenia. Oooo…paranoid schizophrenia. That sounded like loads of fun.

Biting her lip, she decided to do what any sane, self-respecting prey animal would. She scurried out of the bedroom and hid in the kitchenette. With her back wedged up against a cabinet and her toes pressed against the bottom of the refrigerator, she held her cell phone in her lap and stared at it. She should probably be calling someone for help...but who?

Pulling up a text message, she picked out her last conversation with Jared. He hadn't said anything to her since last night, not even to check and see if she got home okay. Could she keep the thing in her bedroom from eating her if she offered up last night's date as a sacrifice? It was terribly tempting. Jared certainly deserved it. But…no. Or at least, she'd keep it as a last resort. After all, she didn't want Jared thinking for even a moment that she needed anything from him.

"If you're going to hide, it should probably be inside something."

Alexis yelped, clutching the phone to her chest. She looked up to find glowing red eyes staring at her from behind long, spiked black hair. She swallowed hard, wondering if she should have sent that text to Jared after all.

The vampire grinned at her, fangs showing as he clearly enjoyed her discomfiture. That did it. How dare he frighten her and then laugh at her about it?

Scowling, she scrambled to her feet and put her hands on her hips.

"Don't give me that smirking look, you monster. You ate someone in front of me, dared to consider laying fang on me, and then just decide to move into my apartment without so much as a by your leave." She advanced on him, shoulders back and chin up in the most belligerent stance she could manage. "I demand an apology. And rent, if you intend to stay."

The monster's red eyes widened, the grin spreading wider across his face. At least someone was amused. When he just stood there, grinning like a madman, offering up neither apology nor cash, she bared her teeth and took one last step to close the distance between them, fists clenched at her sides. She glared up at him from bare centimeters away as he gazed down on her, the grin melting into an amused smirk.

Damn. How tall was this guy? A small voice in the back of her head screamed that she really should get back to that whole fleeing and hiding business, but she pushed it aside. Somehow, she didn't think it would work on this…vampire.

"Wipe that smirk off your face," she said, lifting a hand to poke him in the chest. It felt like poking a fleshy marble statue. "I am not amused. You've invaded my home, cornered me in my own kitchen, and…"

"And what?" He reached out to grab her, twisting them so she fetched up with her back against the arched opening to her kitchenette. He loomed over her, fangs showing in that manic grin. "What will you do if I refuse your orders?"

Alexis glared up at him, wracking her brain for a course of action, but she came up blank. She had no power over him. She couldn't hurt him, physically or emotionally. This was a…she could only guess how old…sadistic monster fully capable of murder, obviously without remorse. By all rights, she should be cowering in the corner, begging for her life, but now that her anger had triggered that fatalistic obstinacy that always got her in trouble, she couldn't bring herself to back down from him.

She reached up to grasp his cravat and tugged, trying to pull him down to her level but had more success in pulling herself up onto her tip toes.

"I can piss you off until you kill me, die with dignity and deprive you of your new toy."

No, it wasn't the best survival tactic, but then, self preservation wasn't exactly her forte. The vampire arched an eyebrow at her and the smirk widened back into a grin. A low chuckle bubbled up out of his chest. It seemed so wrong for that laugh to tug at things low in her body. She should be shaking in terror of him, not turned on by his mocking chortle.

"Rent, I can manage, once I access some funds. An apology…well…let's call it even, considering I did save your life last night."

Alexis glowered at him, but had to admit he had a point. And, hell, she had really been kidding about the whole rent thing. She wasn't supposed to have anyone else living in the apartment with her. She could, technically, get evicted if the management found out…not that they really cared, so long as the police didn't get called out and the rent showed up on time. But…did she want a vampire living with her? She looked up into those sly, red eyes. Did she have a choice?

"Fine, but that means we're even. I don't owe you anything for last night."

The vampire…Alucard. Best get used to calling him by his name if he was sticking around. He laughed again, that creepy grin spreading across his face.

"I don't know if that means you value your life so little or an apology from me so much," he said.

"Something in the middle, I'm sure." Alexis released his cravat and he stepped back, once again standing at his full height as he looked down on her. Definitely too damn tall. "Now, I'm getting a shower. I, at least, have to go to work."

Alucard smirked but didn't move, instead holding out his hand.

"What?" She glared up at him, crossing her arms.

"Your phone. If I am to enter human society again…which will be necessary to procure your 'rent'…I will need to obtain the trappings of society. That includes contacting the banks and law firms that manage my trusts. It's probably best if I do that before you leave, since I assume you'll be taking your phone with you."

Alexis glared at him, not at all certain she wanted to release her phone to his tender mercies, especially while she couldn't see what he was doing with it, but if he was serious about paying part of her rent… She needed the money. Even working two jobs, she sometimes struggled to make ends meet.

"Don't go into anything private. No texts, no pictures. I'm trusting you." She pushed her phone into his hand. He smiled and bowed, moving out of her way.

"As you command.

V^^^V

The shower did wonders for her headache…although that might have been the pain killers she gulped down before jumping in. It also gave her time to think about her new circumstances. She had enough trouble wrapping her brain around the idea that she now had someone living with her, much less that the someone wasn't at all human…and happened to be male. At least he was easy on the eyes. Scowling, she shook that thought out of her head. She soooo did not need to head down that particular road. How, exactly, had she gotten herself into this?

Okay, so the thinking didn't really help. Stepping out of the shower, she wrapped her hair up in a towel and opened the door to her room. Alucard looked up from his perch on the edge of her bed, taking in her damp, nude form. Alexis blinked, her mind taking a moment to work through the ramifications of having a new roommate in a one bedroom apartment.

With an outraged screech, she slammed the door again, putting her back to it as she turned a curious shade of red. The impish chuckle from the other side of the door did not help matters any. Marching to the linen closet, she pulled out another towel and wrapped it around herself, trying to channel her acute embarrassment into a more acute case of rage.

Tucking the towel in as securely as she could, she marched back to the door and yanked it open. Not surprisingly, the infuriating creature on her bed hadn't moved, his red eyes dancing with humor.

"New ground rules," Alexis said, crossing the room and glaring down at the vampire. She put her hands on her hips, praying the towel didn't slip. "When the female is in the shower, the vampire stays out of the bedroom." Alucard's grin widened as his eyes glistened with impish delight. "And the bathroom. Pervert. Get out!"

Laughing, Alucard rose, bowed, and left the room, closing the door behind him. He didn't say a word, but then, he didn't need to. She knew very well that he'd gotten an eyeful and nothing she did could undo it.

Alexis opened her closet, pulling out clothes as a blush crept up her cheeks again. The bastard could probably smell the blood rushing just under her skin.

Damn vampire.