Hey guys!Thanks for the reviews, alerts, faves and hits!!!I really appreciate your response. This update is pretty late.. I know that there's no good enough reason to be updating late but school sucks and I've been procrastinating.lol.anyhow, this is the second installment!Hope you enjoy, I must warn you that there is cursing, spelling and grammatical errors and OOC-ness in this chapter. Thanks again!And don't forget to review!

Chapter 2

Awkward Moments

Last chapter:

And the number one reason why Auron will NEVER EVER ask me out is…

1. He already has a lover.

Lulu. The symbol for feminism. She's soft-spoken, beautiful, and has a LOT of front (if you know what I mean) with great big doe eyes (technically its eye, since the other is covered by her silky bangs) that make guys melt when she looks at them. Not to mention she's what everyone calls, and I quote, "drop-dead gorgeous". If she weren't so nice to everyone, I'd hate her, but instead, I envy her, while trying to convince myself that she isn't perfect (although there are no visible flaws that I see).

She's about the only person he shows an ounce of emotion towards. Actually, now that I think about it, she's the only person that is allowed to touch him. Everyone else gets thrown into a wall…

But every intimate gesture they do share is like a stab through the chest.

He puts his arm around her. Stab.

He pushes her bangs back and gazes into her eyes. Stab. Stab.

He whispers something into her ear and she giggles, oh so femininely. Please, I beg of you, just put me out of my misery!

Of course, they've never even gotten to first base for all I know. Guess Lulu takes the "no sex till you're married" thing to a whole new level. Yevon would be proud.

You're probably wondering, "How the hell do you know that they've never gotten to first base? What are you, some sort of demented stalker?"

I do not stalk. It's belittling and illegal. I prefer to call it casually examining the finer details of a person's life.

But really, I'm not experienced enough to stalk. One time, I tried to follow him in the wilderness of Macalania forest, but about five minutes into it, I tripped over a rock and sprained my ankle. It was hard enough trying to explain why I had been following him (I think I started blabbering about how I didn't realize where I was going and went in the wrong direction…), but imagine trying to walk back to the camp with a throbbing and steadily swelling ankle (I couldn't tell him I sprained my ankle, I'd look like even more of a klutz, especially since the rock I had supposedly tripped on turned out to be my other foot…).

That incident was enough to send me out of the stalking mood for a while.

Still, even though the fact that Auron hasn't actually kissed Lulu makes me feel a LITTLE better, I wish that Lulu would just go somewhere far, far away…

The little things that constantly remind me that Auron is taken really make the days longer, which, is a bad thing, considering my horrible luck. It's like I have a huge neon sign that says, "Bad Luck Wanted".

Ugh! EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE SUCKS!!!!! They can all burn in hell! I just want to rip their little heads off of their scrawny bodies!

You wanna know why? Well, I'll tell you why, but I warn you, if you get me pissed off, I am so shoving your head up your ass!

10 Reasons Why Today Sucked

10. It was the first day of spring. You're probably like, "What's so bad about that?" Well, spring equals flowers, which equals pollen. I'm allergic to pollen, deathly allergic. The whole entire day was filled with sneezing, itchy eyes, puffy nose, the works. As if I'm not unattractive enough.

9. On our way to the Calm Lands, I realized that I forgot my smoldering iron (you know the one I use for customizing weapons). Running back to the camp in Macalania (alone), I narrowly escaped being run over by some bastard in a rusty old ice scooter. Then, I realized that I had my smoldering iron all this time (it was in my backpack). I know, I'm such a genius (note the sarcasm).

8. Stupid muscle-head a.k.a Wakka started to call me a weasel. I never really understood WHY I'm called a weasel. A weasel is beady-eyed, sneaky, and dishonest. Is that why people think I am? Great, the red-head SOB just lowered my self-esteem another 9 notches. I must remind myself to contemplate about my… er, weaselness.

7. Yuna DITCHED me! I know she's been obsessing over that Zanarkand guy for well over two months now, but what about me? Aren't I more important than that delusional-blondie? I mean, I am her own flesh and blood…not to mention we share the same pupil (not literally). Anyways, I was waiting patiently for her to come tend to my wounds (poison and silence) until Sir Auron (note the change in voice) said "No time to waste. Let's go!" And everyone was walking until Lulu realized I was still sitting on the ground unable to call for them (since the silence spell also prohibits the ability to speak). She immediately comes to my aid and helps me! OMG! What a way to make me hate the person who the love of my life loves! Yuna could have at least told me to waste a Remedy, but she was too busy staring all googly-eyed at that Tidus.

6. During a battle with a hard-ass Marlboro, Yuna, my cousin, our summoner and our WHITE MAGE lost consciousness when a damn cockroach went up her skirt and into parts you do not want to know. So the Marlboro's charging up with its uber Bad Breath and all of us were almost out of it. It was then I remembered I had a special concoction in one of my knapsacks…which unfortunately I forgot at the last inn we were in. So I raced back to said inn as fast as my scrawny legs could carry me, half-way through the debacle, I remembered the concoction was in one of my pouches…which was conveniently attached to my belt…Yevon! I should be awarded a Noble prize!

5. So I ran back to the scene as fast as I could, I endured scorching deserts and blistering winds (okay, getting a little dramatic). I would have made it in time, except some bastard stuck his foot out and TRIPPED me! On the steep hill to the Calm Lands! I barely escaped spinal and head injuries! Of course, the bastard who tripped me had an unfortunate accident in which, somehow, his genital area was brutally attacked… Finally making it back to fight scene, late, Yuna was already conscious and LULU was already using her Black Magic on the Marlboro, therefore, being titled as the saviour of the day. Fun…

4. During dinner, I sneezed and inhaled an enormous amount of Hypello Potion. Now everyone's looking at my nose, it being the size of a large apple, and just as red. The rest of the gang, namely Tidus and Wakka, were laughing at my nose saying my nose puts Bahamut's snout to shame. When Lulu told them off (I know it should not make my day sucky) but when would it be good news when Sir Auron was all googly-eyed at her after that.

3. During our rest in the Calm Lands, I decided to go on a little adventure (to clear my head about killing and/or severely maiming Lulu). During my adventure through the Calm Lands, the same bastard that tripped me on the hill (you know, the one that I made sure wouldn't enjoy any sexual intercourse anytime soon) got his friends to try and jump me while I was exploring. I nearly escaped injury by smacking them with the closest thing that I could grab, which happened to be a neon orange, rubber cone (the one's they used for training chocobos). Then, one of his dumbass friends got their dickhead stuck in the damn cone and had to be sent back to Bevelle so they could cut him free (don't see why they couldn't have done it here), and since no one saw the SOBs trying to beat me up, our little 'party' was severely punished by Yevon through the confiscation of our Gil. I mean, WHAT THE HELL!!!! Since when is self-defense a crime? Is it my fault for punishing the guy for trying to kill me and that his asshole friend's head is beyond huge?

2. Wow, déjà vu. The same son of a bitch tried, once again, to trip me while I was going down the stairs (this time). And I, once again, had to retaliate by attempting to rip his balls off and stapling it to his head. I would have succeeded too, except the thought of actually TOUCHING his lower region, even if two layers of cloth (at least I HOPE two layers, I mean, his a freaking Yevonite! I don't think they don't like wearing underwear or boxers) are between my hands and his genitals, was just too disgusting, so I settled kneeing him in his stomach, then pushing him off the stairs. He fell pretty far too.

Now, I bet you're all wondering, what could be worse than the fact that I had narrowly escaped severe paralization and the inability to produce a child with Sir Auron?

Well...

...the number 1 reason why today SUCKED is...

1. While preparing my stuff to continue on with the pilgrimage, I saw Auron and Lulu in the men's room opposite from where I was (the door was slightly ajar…mind you). At first, I didn't think too much of it. Then, I saw that they were getting PRETTY close. And he was looking at her so, you know, tenderly that I wanted to kick her pretty face in. Then… then… THEY FUCKING KISSED!!!!!!!!! Right in front of me, his undying crush! Okay, so maybe I'm overreacting. They ALMOST kissed, but Lulu had an attack of prudentness (is that a word?) and turned her head so he kissed her on her cheek. But the fact that WANTED to kiss her was enough.

My mind has been scarred and my left eye will NOT stop twitching.

I just stood there, trying to grasp a hold of the image before me. But when he cupped her chin and was advancing on her so slowly that I wished I could cast a haste spell, that snapped me out of my trance. I don't think I've ever run faster (or cried harder). I think I skipped lunch and hid in the bathroom. I had to miss seeing my dear Auron, but I don't think I have enough self-control not to use my claw on Lulu.

Well, now were traveling towards Mt. Gagazet. And I can't help but wonder if a certain guardian would be kind and thoughtful enough to lend me his coat in the blistering, not to mention chapping winds of the great mountain.