Since I only got 6 reviews, I'm going to update one chapter. I have changed this chapter recently, because I decided to go in a different direction with this story than what I had planned, because after I wrote chapter 3 and some of chater 4, I didn't know where the story would go...

If you have suggestions, please review and tell me where you think this should go, because I may re-evaluate my plans.

"Elliot has nothing to do with this….." Olivia's voice had emotion in it again, so Munch kept going. "This is going to affect him worse than anyone else. You and this job are all he has now." Olivia had a flashback of the Gitano case: You and this job are all I have anymore. I don't want to mess that up.

"I… this is my business. Not his. He'll deal, and he'll know this wasn't his fault." Olivia defiantly kept her head raised, and was now keeping her eyes away from Jake. She was keeping track of John's gun, and kept her focus on keeping away from the window. "He's not going to understand, Olivia. He'll make his own assumptions, and he doesn't listen to us. Only you, he'll only listen to you."

"Well, he's going to have to learn I guess. I'm tired of this John. I'm damn tired." For the first time of this whole situation, Olivia looked Munch straight in the eyes. He saw pain and exhaustion and the ever present determination in her eyes, but she had sealed her fate since the beginning, and only now did he see. She didn't want to make it out of here; this was her final plea, and he needed to prevent that.

"You're lying to me Liv. You don't want to die here, by the hand of a faceless SWAT member. You want to go down in blazing glory, saving the victim, your partner; hell, saving anyone of us, your friends. You don't want to hurt anyone, let alone me. That's why you called Fin two hours ago, and told him we needed to get our asses down here, and stop you."

Olivia had tears in her eyes, as did Munch, when she spoke. "It's true, that's why I called. That's why I haven't raised my gun at you; not once. 'Cause, let's face it, we all know I'm have a better shot. But, I'm tired of being the hero, when all I need… all I need is to be saved. I'm, I'm drowning John. I've been fucking drowning, and Elliot needs to dump his crap, his problems on me, because I hold him together. I need to keep it together for the victims, in front of you guys and the captain to keep the job I had. That was my life. It was waking up, and putting my demons and fears and problems in a box, and faking my way through another day at work, then going home and wondering why the hell I was still breathing, if every breath I took burns another hole in my heart. And you know what? That's always been enough, because through it all, I had my own little, dare I say it, family in our squad. It always kept me happy enough…"

"What changed Olivia? When did we stop bring enough? When did we become people you couldn't confide in?" John voiced the question that Cragen and Fin had been asking themselves.

"Not confide in? Hell, you people are all I have. I trusted you with my life, and I care about all of you more than I like to admit. But, how do you tell your dad you want to kill yourself? Your brothers, that you hate yourself for killing your mother little by little? How do you tell your sister that you want to just forget every minute of every day of your life by living in a bottle? How John? How did you want me to tell all of you?"

She rubbed her forehead and sighed deeply before adding, "It's better to go out in a bang, no pun intended. Hash this out with most of you present and attentive of my every step. This, mother fucking garbage here, this sick freak assaulted me, that's how I met him! He tried to fucking rape me!" Olivia hit Jake over the head with a closed fist and watched him flop onto the floor.

"You know what's screwed up about this? I can't get Cragen's voice out of my head! I'm imagining Don talking me through another hostage situation, and that's what I hear besides you! That, and Fin tapping his gun rapidly against his leg. I can imagine him telling me procedure; that I can only shoot to kill when there is an imminent threat to myself or a civilian. That the quickest way to diffuse a hostage situation is to keep saying truths that will get the hostage taker to release his victims." Now pointing the weapon at Jake to lay on the floor, John knew she was close to breaking.

"I trust you Liv; I'm not going to shot you. Jake is bleeding out though, and he needs medical assistance, even though he's a scumbag. You don't want to go to jail for murder Olivia. You want to complain about my coffee and communicate telepathically with Elliot. You want to want to kick both Fin and Cragen's asses for being overprotective. Just put the gun down." John was beginning to sweat; he was quickly fearing that Olivia' resolve to prolong this to tell her story was slipping. He needed to keep her talking.

"I'm going to let him go. This has gone on as long as it should have." With that she nudged Jake forward with her left foot and brought her gun to her chin. "I'm really sorry for not being able to talk about my problems. I don't blame anyone, but you should have seen it John. You should have told Elliot, and told Don, you should have checked on me more often, and asked how I was dealing with everything. Tell Elliot this isn't his fault-"

A single shot was heard as a gun was fired, then followed by loud footsteps of the SWAT members interrupted what Olivia had been saying. For half a second after Fin, the SWAT members, and Cragen had made their way into the room, there was only silence. Then, as if just realizing what had happened, Munch fell onto his knees and let out an anguished scream.

Remember... this story isn't done yet.

Please review, I'll wait until I have more reviews before I post any more chapters.