Company in Awakening

My eyes fluttered open. It was darker in the room now, but not completely. The lights were simply dimmed. Knowledge flooded to me in doses, depending on what I saw and needed. I sat up. It was strange. This body was, unfamiliar. Alien. I stretched out my arms, flexing my fingers. I brought my, right hand to my face and ghosted my fingertips over the skin. Touch. It was so vivid. I had such smooth skin. All my senses were so strong, so tremendous in the effect they had on me. I ran my fingers over my face. Humans were such strange creatures. Noses in the middle of the face, two eyes and ears and a mouth below them. It was so odd and new. All these, sensory organs my host's almost erased mind supplied. I was so shocked at how any living thing could bear emotions and senses at once. It was intolerable. I looked around. I was alone.

The room was small, just a bed, a dresser and one or two chairs. Mismatched. I liked that, though I shouldn't. Because I didn't like mismatched things, she liked mismatched things. I was warned that some of my host's memories and favours would be loose and hard to fade, but it was still a shock. I had never encountered such resistance before. I looked down at myself. I was wearing black jeans, so black they nearly vanished in the shadows. I had no shoes or socks on. Socks. An image of the bizarre things drifted to my mind. Humans. Such weird little things, thinking of such weird little objects. Foot protection against foot protection. It baffled me, but I put such meaningless thoughts aside. I reached over and flicked the small switch on the lamps base. Light flooded the room. I blinked, not used to the sudden brightness. I held my hand up to my face.

Pink.

My top was pink. The sleeves were long and the ended at my wrist. The top was fitting, not loose and it had round neck. It was a light material, soft to touch. Thin and vibrant magenta pink.

Pink.

Pink was my favourite colour. No! Pink was her favourite colour. Not mine. I looked around. There was a mirror at the wall across from the bed where I lay. It wasn't very big, but I would be able to take in my full appearance now. I sat up properly and swung my legs round the bed. When I first stood up, it took me a moment before I could stop my head from spinning. I walked over to the mirror and looked at myself.

I had an oval face, friendly and quaintly pretty. I ran a finger over my lips. No make-up, (an image and explanation followed my discovery). That meant my lips were pink too. Not lip-stick or lip-gloss, (Humans and their strange creations), pink, but a subtle faded pastel. I liked it. Just like she had. I had white teeth, she cared for her teeth. She had been scared of dentists. I drifted through her memories and old thoughts absently. Then I curled a front strand of my hair. Blonde. I was blonde. And not white blonde, but a nice, young yellow. It reminded me of sunshine.

I look at him smiling. He is so different. But I like him this way. I miss my old Doctor though. I miss him so much. But I can't help but love this man the way I did the other. They're both the same man. The scent of apple-grass is strong and the sunshine is dancing so perfectly off his new hair. His new, great, really great hair-

The memory stopped suddenly and I was looking back at myself in the mirror. I shook my head. I liked that memory. It filled me with hope and delight. Made me, happy. Happiness was a nice emotion, calming and thrilling at the same time. I tried to search for it again, but something was stopping me. My stomach dropped. Dread. This was a new one. It was horrible and uncomfortable and I suddenly felt like crying. She was stopping me.

But that was impossible! Hosts weren't supposed to resist this way! I felt panic again, but tried to calm myself. It would take time for me to get used to this body and it's preferences. Once I did, whatever was left of my hosts mind would fade. My host… I had never bothered to find her name. I closed my eyes and concentrated, delving deep into her thoughts.

Nothing, no name.

This confused me. Did my installation damage her? Were some of her memories lost or beyond repair? I tried again. Surely she would know her own name. Flowers. Flowers sprung to mind but their names never came. This troubled me. Everything that had to with her name was fading, like trying to grasp hold of a dream when you awoke. She had not always been this way. Her name was just never needed. They never told anyone their names unless they needed too. Her name was fading, from her own need of never using it. It was her rule. No one could know her name as she searched for him. I tried to make sense of her thoughts. Her memories were ghosting, one moment it would start as herself, then another it would be herself and someone else, then back to own self again. This was confusing me greatly and I couldn't concentrate on searching any longer.

There a feeling of triumph, searing in the back of my mind. It was not mine. She was feeling smug. Smug. She was glad at my confusion, glad I could not access as freely as I wished. She was so strong. I tried to ignore it. But there was no point. My host was very much active, and she wasn't going to go down without a fight.

"You're up." I jumped and turned quickly, pressing myself against the wall. It wasn't the man from before. The Doctor. My host's heart suddenly swelled, desperately as though trying to break free from the body to find him. This was a new person. He was a little taller than myself. His hair was a light brown colour, but cut very short and spiked in- Gel, probably. He had a round face, and dark eyes. He leant his form against the door's frame.

Jake.

My memory supplied me with an image from her past. He was a friend, good friend. But I couldn't help but fear him, despite my host's need to acknowledge him. He was Human. His eyes. Human.

"Jacks, it's up!" he cried behind him. It? I felt offended, a new feeling that I instantly disliked. She disliked it also. The woman from before came round the door. She cringed. My appearance hurt her. I didn't want to hurt her. She looked so friendly.

But Human! I scolded myself. Humans are bad! They lie, they hate, they kill.

The woman stretched herself, standing to her full height, seeming braver. But her eyes were shadowed. She was sad, and angry. Fear prickled in my stomach. I shut my eyes. I was told of what angry Humans could do, and it terrified me. Suddenly, I felt her hand on my cheek. I recoiled instantly, as though her touch had scalded me. I shrunk lower. I felt her step back. I had hurt her again.

"What did The Doctor say?" Interest made me stand a little straighter. I yearned for this man. She yearned for this man.

"Nothing, I think he's too upset to think straight," Jake answered. "He hasn't moved all night. Don't worry!" Jackie obviously had made some kind of bad expression. "We removed all the drink! Don't if being Human now makes him crave for it like we do, but better safe than sorry."

Human now? I thought quietly to myself. Was he not Human before?

"Right, well. Take care of her," Jackie said softly. She was so sad. "He'll figure something out and we'll save her." Jake made a noise, a sceptical laugh through his nose. Jackie leant down to me and held my face again. I held still. I didn't want to upset her again. "She's my daughter! I won't let you harm her, or the, alien."

The words were strange. She was my host's mother. No wonder I had such an attachment. Such a deep need to keep her happy. My host loved her. I opened my eyes. Jackie left without another word. I sighed shakily and fell towards the floor. Jake approached me and bended down to me. I looked back at him, daring not to blink.

"I dunno what you thought you were doing, getting into that body!" he said warningly. I wanted to turn away, but couldn't. "But if it's one thing I know, I know that the boss ain't so happy with you choosing it. So you better hope you have something to stop him from ripping you right out of her skin!"

I flinched at the horrifying image, provided by my memory to fit the words. Humans were such violent creatures, with such macabre minds. Jake stood and left, closing the door behind him. I shrunk down further and sat on the floor. My mind was reeling with questions. How had I got here? Where were my Healers? How long would I be let to live? I decided to drift through my hosts memories. Jakes words had rattled her just as they had myself and it drained her of control.

My host had such wonderful memories. I was going to start with her earliest memories, the ones that would fade first. She had left school, it never really mattered to her. She worked in a shop. She had liked it. A new face came to me, one I had yet to meet. Mickey. He was dark with a brave face. She loved him. No. She had loved him. Grief shocked me suddenly. He was gone too, just like so many people who danced in her mind. I suddenly realised how weak my hosts last remaining thoughts were and at once went to seek a name.

NO!

I shot up. Fear. Anger. Distress. That was not possible.

Are you still, present?

Yeah I am! Thanks for noticing! Sarcasm.

Well you won't be for long. As soon as I fully grasp my body-

My body!

-You'll cease to exist! And I'll be free to wander among your treasured memories!

She fell silent. I had worried her. I smiled to myself, giving myself the liberty to feel smug.

What's your name then? She asked, less fiercely than before.

Silent Star Path.

'S nice, she was sad now and her words became slurred in my head. Panic filled me, running with my blood to every part of my body. She was not supposed to be here. She should have gone a long time ago, yet here she was, conversing with me. I felt sick.

You feel sick? Least you don't have a, worm-thing in the back of your head!

I'm not a worm, I argued, the image of the creature floating before me.

Close enough, she huffed. I sighed.

Look, I told you my name, can that favour be repaid?

She was silent for a few moments, and for one gleeful moment I thought she had gone, but then her faint, but distinguishable cockney voice filled my head again.

'S important.

I don't wish to refer to you as 'host'. Even though you'll only be here shortly, I'd like to use your name.

Bravery swelled in her as she spoke, her voice louder this time.

I will be here for a while! This is my body and my mind and I would like to keep them! I've dealt with aliens before and I'm not about to give up now!

She was delaying me. She really didn't want me to use her name. Why was she so afraid of me knowing it?

'Cause you might take it. I felt my brow furrow in confusion. She explained. I've heard that some, of your kindtake the name of the person you stole. Like, Stars Dancing on Bear Neck will take a Human body and then claim the name of their host. Becoming, John or something.

I felt a little amused at the strange name she had thrown together, but I tried to understand.

And I won't let you do that. You may have stolen my body, but I won't let you become me!

She fell silent. I waited for her to continue, but it seemed, for the moment, I was alone. I got up and climbed back into the bed. My head was throbbing from my inner clashings and I felt tired already from the fighting I had no real part in just minutes before. Ideas of how to eliminate my company rose and fell with every second and I decided it best to just sleep. To drift into unconsciousness. Maybe that way I would receive peace.

Reviews are welcome. Little boring, but required. Next chapter, Silent Star Paths will meet The Doctor, properly.