Summary: Title says it all. Co-authored by Torilei and HaloFin17. Not a typical fanfic from us by any means, but this is such a common idea, we decided to try it out and have some fun with it, too. So do join us and laugh with us as we laugh at ourselves. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: It's always depressing to say it, but we don't own anyone or anything related to "National Treasure."

Author's Note: After that wild and wholly unbelievable ride in the first chapter, this is where things finally fall into a sort of rhythm that you can expect to be continued throughout the rest of the story. We posted the first two chapters in one day so that you all could get more of an appropriate feel for this fic as a whole. Enjoy!

Chapter 2

Haley looked back at the smoke-wreathed remains of The Charlotte, reminding herself all the while that to act as stunned and dumbfounded as her new companions.

"Ok, let's go," Ian said at last, his voice heavy. "Before someone sees the smoke."

Shaw complied without a word, and from where she sat behind them, Haley timidly cleared her throat. "So, um, does this make me a captive or a hostage now?"

Ian and Shaw exchanged looks. They apparently understood each other, but she couldn't make heads or tails of it.

"I suppose so," Ian answered at length. "But then again, you don't seem too anxious to get away." He glanced back at her, as though to see how she'd respond.

She just shrugged. "Well, it's not like I have anywhere to run off to, so I guess we're stuck together for a while."

Tori opened her eyes to see Riley Poole's face right next to hers. Fangirl-ish butterflies flew wildly in her stomach for a moment, but she valiantly suppressed them.

"You two all right?" Ben asked as he hauled them both to their feet.

"Yeah, we're fine," Riley answered, speaking for both of them.

Ben led them back out into the blinding brightness of the snow-covered terrain, and Tori squinted against the sun.

"Wow, that explosion was a lot louder than I ever thought it would be," she murmured to herself, but not quietly enough.

"What was that?" Riley asked, sounding innocently curious.

The young brunette froze. "Uh, I was just thinking about how loud an explosion is when you're right next to it. Nothing like the fireworks on Fourth of July, huh?"

"I suppose not..." Riley began, but Ben, oblivious to their conversation, cut him off.

"There's an outpost not too far from here. Bush pilots, mostly, but they should see the smoke and come for us before long."

"Then what do we do?" his techie friend inquired.

"We start making our way back home."

"No, I meant about Ian. He's gonna steal the Declaration of Independence, Ben."

Benjamin Gates finally stood still and turned to meet his companions squarely in the eye. "We stop him."

"Great!" Tori exclaimed happily. "But, before we do that, can I get some new clothes? Please?"

Ben chuckled. "Sure. We'll take care of it as soon as we get back to DC."

Tori opened her mouth to thank him when all of a sudden, she felt a slight vibrating in her shorts' pocket beneath the borrowed parka, and her eyes went wide. She still had her cell phone.

Once Haley was certain Ian and Shaw's attention was diverted elsewhere, most likely in the low conversation they were carrying on about what to do next, she carefully fished her cell phone out of her pocket and as subtly as possible, sent a text message to Tori's phone.

"You OK?"

Within a minute, her friend's reply had come.

"Yup, we're good!"

"Great! I knew you'd survive. (Insert smiley face.)"

"I can't believe our phones still work."

"Me 2! I just hope Ian doesn't take mine."

"Lol, good luck with that. Well be in touch!"

Haley grinned as the conversation ended, but before she could return the device to her pocket, curiosity overcame her, and she hit the speed dial button to call her home back in Chicago. No response. The call didn't even ring. Haley frowned. That was unfortunate, to be sure, but at least she could still chat with Tori. Provided, of course, that her guardians didn't catch on to what she was doing.

They had reached their destination now, a small airport in the middle of snowy nowhere. They all got out, and Ian led the way to one of the decent-sized planes – his own, Haley imagined. He also introduced her formally to the rest of his crew, which consisted of Powell, Phil, and Viktor.

Haley couldn't help but chuckle to herself when they were all amazed at how well she remembered each of their names. Oh, if only they knew...

Right after they arrived back in the States, Ben took Tori straight to the nearest Target for new clothes. She was in and out of the large store in less than half an hour and looking very much like herself again in light pre-ripped jeans, purple Converse, and a black t-shirt from the Iron Movie that had come out not long before (because let's face it, she was in love with Tony Stark). It was a nice reminder of home. She had also purchased a red, lightweight, zip-up hoodie, as the autumn weather was a tad chilly, and a silver arrow ring that wrapped around her left thump and another silver leaf-patterned ring for her right forefinger. They were even nice enough to let her pick out a Harry Potter themed hobo bag to carry other necessary items such as a toothbrush and hairbrush that she'd need.

Riley grinned at her. "Hey, not bad, T! Next time I need to go shopping, I am so going with you."

"Uh, thanks?" Tori just grinned at him then, not entirely sure how to respond to the obscure compliment or to her newly-earned nickname: "T". She had likewise discovered, after confiscating Riley's iPod during the trip, that the two of them also had startlingly similar tastes in music.

"Come on, you two," Ben summoned, urging them on to action as was his wont. "We have work to do."

Their overnight flight back to Washington D.C. had been uneventful, at best. Ian had isolated himself in the back of the plane so as to improve his ability to think clearly, and the rest of them had been more or less silent the entire time. It was probably the "deaths" of those they'd left behind that still haunted them, forcing them into an uncomfortable silence. For her part, Haley had just been bored.

Now they were all making themselves at home in the two-bedroom apartment Ian had rented for their use as long as they were in the area. The Brit himself was setting up his laptop on the kitchen table, by all appearances ready to dive right back into his investigation, but Shaw seemed to have other ideas when he strategically positioned himself between his leader and the computer.

"Ian, you should get some rest. You were up all night during the flight working on this stuff. Why don't you take a break?"

Ian regarded his friend with minimal concern. "What else is there to do?"

"You could take me shopping!" Haley broke in excitedly. "Not that I'm ungrateful, but I am still wearing someone's spare winter coat."

The Englishman appeared slightly aggravated by her request, but there was little arguing the point that she did need new clothes.

"Fine," he agreed reluctantly. "Let's go."

Twenty minutes later, the two of them arrived at Nordstrom's, and Haley was turned loose. But after about forty-five minutes, Ian's patience was wearing thin.

"What's taking so bloody long?" he demanded.

"I'm just trying to spend your money wisely," she calmly reasoned with him. "What's the point of buying new clothes if they don't fit you just right? And since it looks like I could still be a while here, why don't you take a nap? That way I can tell the guys when we get back that you really did rest and are ready to start working again."

Ian considered that a moment. "Tempting. But how do I know you won't wander off once my eyes are closed?"

"I haven't tried to get away yet, have I, so why would I start now? As you know, I really don't have anywhere else to go. And besides, if I run away, who's gonna buy all these clothes? Which reminds me, are shoes included in this shopping spree?"

"Sure." Ian sat down on one of the sofas outside the fitting room and closed his eyes. "Wake me up when you're ready to check out."

"Thanks!" Haley called over to him, then continued shopping. And how grateful she was that his eyes were closed when she felt her phone vibrating.

Ben, RIley, and Tori emerged from the J. Edgar Hoover FBI Building with disappointment written all over their faces. Even Tori, who knew how it would all turn out, was starting to get discouraged after being turned away and laughed at so many times. There was a good reason why the movie hadn't shown all that.

"For what it's worth, you guys had me convinced," she told them.

Beside her, Riley was ranting out his frustration that anyone who might help them wouldn't believe them, and anyone who might be crazy enough to believe them wouldn't be able to help.

"We don't need 'crazy'," Ben stated calmly. "But take one step short of crazy, and what do you get?"

"One step short of crazy?" the techie echoed, then pointed straight at Tori. "You get her!"

"You get passionate," Ben supplied before Tori could playfully protest Riley's verbal treatment, and within the hour, they were at the National Archives Building, waiting in the lobby to see a certain Dr. Chase. While Ben skimmed over pamphlets sitting on the nearby coffee table and Riley nervously twiddled his thumbs, Tori fished out her phone to text.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Hi! I'm shopping with Ian. It's really quite fun. U?"

"We're about to meet Abigail."

"Oh boy. Good luck!"

"Thx. We'll need it."

"Oh, and fyi, I think our phones only work w/ each other. I keep trying to call other #'s, and nothing works."

"Bummer. I'll remember that. Ttyl!"

"Have fun - Bye!"

Haley slipped her phone back into her pocket and stole a glance over at Ian. It looked like he really was asleep. Thank goodness! It was about time to wake him up and check out, anyway. She perused her items to purchase one last time: a cute pair of faded blue jeans, a black three-quarter length shirt, and a black leather jacket very similar to the one she had left back at home in the "real world". She figured she would need it to fit in with this crowd.

The hardest part by far had been the shoes. It had taken every fiber of strength in her being to pass up so many pairs of cute heels, but she had overcome temptation and opted for a pair of practical tennis shoes, appropriate for all the walking/running they were sure to do in the near future.

Ian paid for the merchandise, appearing not to care in the least that the purchase total was for several hundred dollars, and on the way hope, he graciously stopped at a local Walgreens so Haley could equip herself with necessary toiletries – hairbrush, toothbrush, and the like. She got back into his SUV when they finished, now feeling much more confident. She was ready to face the movie!

Dr. Chase's assistant ushered them into the office, and when a familiar blonde woman stepped forward to meet them, Tori had to battle every urge imaginable to run up and hug her, exclaiming, "Oh my gosh, I love your accent!" or "What was it like playing Helen of Troy?" As it was, she maintained her composure rather well and shook Abigail's proffered hand without ceremony. The only difficulty now would be in not accidently calling her "The Mean Declaration Lady" before Riley did.

Tori didn't say much as their interview with Abigail progressed, but it wasn't long before she realized that, while Abigail's teasing may have been somewhat humorous in the film, being on the receiving end of it oneself was an entirely different matter. She even found herself squirming uncomfortably in her seat before long and couldn't breathe easy again until Ben politely excused them, and they were out the door.

"Charming lady, huh?" she posed to Riley, whose sarcasm took the cue.

"Yeah, right – charming. She was pretty hot, though, you have to admit."

Tori arched an eyebrow. "Do I?"

Ben turned around to give the younger man a silencing glare, but Tori could see easily enough that their dedicated friend agreed with his last statement one hundred and ten percent. And it would only be a matter of time before the two history buffs themselves realized it. She hid her infectious smile behind a feigned yawn at the thought.

By now, Ben had led them back down into the main display area for the documents of the National Archives, and no surprise, he had stopped directly in front of the Declaration of Independence.

"A hundred and eighty years of searching, and I'm three feet away," he muttered so quietly that the others could barely hear him as Tori got as close to the document as she could with wonder of her own, but there was a calm resolution in his voice that was almost unnerving. "I'm gonna steal it."

Riley blinked himself out of his reverie and exchanged disbelieving glances with Tori. "What?"

Benjamin Franklin Gates turned aside and marched briskly forth from the United States National Archives. "I'm gonna steal the Declaration of Independence."