A/N: Well I just want to say a huge "Thank You" to all of you who put this lil bit of insanity on alert and favorite and what not. I will do my level best to not let you down. I hit over 7000 hits for this last month and while to some that may seem like nothing, to someone like me, who replies to every single review and looks at every alert and favorite as a much cherished pat on the back, it meant the world. Thank you soo dang much!
What the hell just happened? What did I do? One minute I am sound assed asleep in bed, dreaming the best dream of playing a sold out show, and the next thing I know I am in fear of getting my bits ripped off and im getting thrown out on my ass by a woman I thought had come to give a little bit of a damn about me. To make it worse, I had to leave my boy because J.D. said she would, in fact, rip my bits off if I left with him, and that it would be best if I just came along with him for the night until she calmed down.
"What the hell, man? What did I do?" He just shook his head and down shifted the truck so he could pull into convenience store.
"Ill be right back, man just sit tight." He hopped out and went in, leaving me to alone with my thoughts and my cell phone. I thought about calling her, but it was going on 4 a.m. and I knew she had been out on a call out, so maybe she was in a bad mood because she shot someone? Or maybe because she didn't shoot someone? I had no clue. Looking at the picture of my boy and her that was the screensaver, I couldn't figure why she had been so damn angry at me. Yeah, I left a little bit of a mess in the living room, but I would have cleaned it up in the morning. Wait a minute…she said something about the side of the crib being down? Did he fall out and get hurt? Had I let him get hurt? No…that couldn't be, she WOULD have killed me for that.
"Quit dwelling on things. There ain't no trying to sort out her mind tonight while your all worked up as well. Lets just get to the house and get some sleep and we can talk tomorrow." I hadn't even heard J.D. come back to the truck. My brain was just fried. The rest of the ride to his house I just felt numb, wondering what the hell was happening that my life had spun so far out my control.
Cullen was already asleep when we got in, so at least I didn't have to face him with my shame of being kicked to the curb like a disobedient dog that had pissed on the carpet. J.D. pointed me in the direction of the spare room and I let sleep take me, even though my mind was full of all the thoughts of what had gone wrong.
"Hey! I don't mind the view, but even if she kicked your ass out, she probably wouldn't like you sharing it around over here, so why don't you put some damn pants on and come out to breakfast."
Leave it to Cullen to make an already awkward morning even more awkward. Hadn't he heard of knocking? Yeah, its his house, but hell! I have slept skin to wind since I was in my teens, I just gotta be free and Bella had gotten used to it, though she insisted I keep a pair of sleep pants nearby in case daughter happened to be wandering around. So now I had been eye molested by Cullen who made no bones about the fact he would be more than happy to find out just how much I was like J.D., and I had to go out and face those to chuckleheads to see if they had any ideas on how to fix whatever the hell was wrong in my life.
Coffee was sitting on the table waiting for me as I came out into the kitchen. I gotta say that for a couple of rough and tumble guys, they had a damn nice house. I could see J.D.'s Texas roots all though it with the nice leather furniture and the wood tones and dark colors, the musical oriented décor and even the cop related stuff. It was a guy den through and through and it felt welcoming. I smiled when I saw the pictures of Bella and the rest of us on the mantle, and well as my boy with his two Godfathers. I knew they would make sure he was safe no matter what.
"Breakfast will be ready in a few, so grab a seat and get your brain woke up with some of that coffee."
Cullen was his normal chipper self and I found that to be pretty damn annoying. How he could be all status quo while the world was going to shit around us was beyond me. "Have you talked to Bella this morning?"
"Yeah, but we are gonna be sitting down and calm before we start that conversation, so just cool your tits and drink your coffee while we finish this up."
J.D. at least gave me a sympathetic look as he pulled the biscuits off the cookie sheet and brought them over to the table. "Its gonna be all right man, just take a deep breath and drink some coffee. We will get this all figured out."
The rest of the food hit the table shortly thereafter and next thing I knew I was facing a loaded down plate of biscuits, gravy and ham with a side of grits while those two looked at me like I was some kind of science experiment gone wrong.
"Boy, you need to eat. Its not going to do you any good to starve yourself so tuck in and we will talk." Cullen was being evasive and I knew that if it came down to brass tacks, he had Bella's back over mine, but I really hoped he would at least feel some loyalty to me as a guy and maybe some dedication to the, "bro code". J.D. was more of an unknown quantity. We had become really good friends and spent quite a bit of time hanging out and talking about Texas and growing up. Being he was my age and from where I was from, we got each other somewhat, and I hoped I could count on some support from him in whatever battle I was dealing with.
"You need to go work with your band. You have been to quote her, "Mopey and as moody as a teen girl with first time pms'. Cullen looked at me square in the eye. "You know you are missing it and have been a little difficult to be around lately and she is not used to nor does she want to get used to, putting up with a man who is moody. She had enough of that with Jacob and it makes her edgy and uncomfortable and that's probably what caused the explosion."
I felt like hell. I knew what had gone on with her ex. He was a drunken bastard that spent years terrorizing her, beating her down mentally and physically til he nearly killed her. She spent years working through PTSD and all the physical issues so that she could become a cop. She had stayed alone for years because of him, and after our tangle had resulted in the boy, I was the first man she had even considered allowing close to her, much less in her damn house, and then I had been acting like a sore assed grizzly and probably making her feel on edge in her own home.
"Oh damn…How do I fix it? Will she talk to me? I am sorry! I just…"
"Of course I will talk to you. But he's right, you need to go for a bit and just stretch your legs."
I hadn't even heard her come in behind me. She was standing there with my boy, looking as rough as I felt. J.D. got up and got her a cup of coffee while I jumped up and offered to take my boy. She handed him to me and he smacked me right in the face with a sticky, wet hand as if to tell me I was a knucklehead. Didn't expect it, but she gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
'Thanks J.D., I needed that." she said as she took the coffee. "I gotta say, I didn't sleep for shit last night and I don't want it to be that way, but I cant live with the tension in the house that we had going on. You are missing your life and you know as well as I do, that if you don't get your ass back out there and promote and do your thing, you are either going to get replaced or you are going to just have to quit and I don't see you being the type to be happy working in an office somewhere, so you need to get for a bit, go do your thing with your band. I know they have been trying to get you to come join them, so why don't you?"
I had missed being out and playing music. The thrill of seeing the fans the knew the songs and sang along and the rush that came with playing a packed house was had to beat, but being with my boy with right up there with that feeling. I wouldn't take back one minute with him for all the sold out shows in the world, but I knew she was right, I hadn't been myself lately and I knew it was because I was feeling lost. I missed my friends and the life I had led prior to meeting her, and I imagine she was feeling pretty out of sorts herself, because we had both had to learn to adapt to each others habits and hobbies.
"I guess you are right. I do need to get out on the road. I owe the band and the guys that have worked soo damn hard to keep things going, so maybe I should go for a little while. They were playing some gigs with their side band down in San Diego and L.A., but I imagine I could catch up with them and we could do some surprise shows to see what the fan mood is, but I would need to make some calls to my booking agent to see what could be put together. Can you put up with me for a week or two until its all arranged?"
She smirked at me and patted me on the shoulder, "No more drinking like that when you are home alone with him and we will be fine. If you are feeling like you need a boys night out, just let me know and I will give you a break, its not a big deal."
"But what if I want a night in with just you and me?" Cullen and J.D. groaned. "Dammit boy! I was hoping you were gonna say you wanted a boys night in, we could accommodate you there!" He gave me that leer and a wink that made even J.D. shake his head.
"I told you before Cullen, nobody is tappin that ass but me, but if you would baby sit for us, it would be much appreciated."
Tapping what? What the hell was she talking about? Okay, NOW I was worried.