Hey guys! I still promise I haven't abandoned my other fic, I will update. Updating both is being hard because I'm so bummed from the season finale. Do you guys think she'll be back? I certainly hope so but I don't know. Give me hope, guys! Anyway, here's the next part. I'm struggling to get inspiration so review if you'd like me to continue.
Also to the one reviewer who questioned k.d lang…well, lol. I really like Constant Craving but I used her because she was the only 'famous' out lesbian by the summer or 92. I did my research. Melissa Etheridge didn't come out until January of 93 and Ellen did her coming out in 97. So, I thought it would be funny for Arizona to have her as sort of a guru just because she is the only other lesbian that she knows of.
'I love you more with every breath, I wanna stand with you on a mountain,
truly, madly, deeply do;
I will be strong, I will be faithful,
because I'm counting on a new beginning,
a reason for living, a deeper meaning.
I wanna bathe with you in the sea,
I wanna lay like this forever
until the sky falls down on
Truly Madly Deeply - Savage Garden
January 1st 1993 (Friday)
The girls went to Eliza's house. Her parents and brothers were all out to celebrate New Year's Eve with some friends at a town about an hour and a half away from Portland and weren't coming back until Sunday. Eliza and Arizona were supposed to spend the night at their friend Keyla's house, were their party was being hosted, and then spend all the weekend at Arizona's house. However, they wanted to be alone for a while longer. They needed to be alone to be able to hug and kiss and talk freely.
After the park, they went over to Eliza's house. They made themselves some hot chocolate and got up to Eliza's room. After putting on some pajamas, they laid down in comfortable silence, starring at each other. Arizona started caressing Eliza's cheek with her hand and then caressed her hair. She leaned over to give her a small peck on the lips before wrapping her arm around the smaller blonde's waist.
"You are so beautiful; did you know that?" Arizona said as she stared intently into Eliza's eyes. "I can't stop looking at you." She said blushing
Eliza giggled and kissed Arizona's cheek. "I love being like this with you. Finally, being able to kiss you and hug you. I'm so happy. So, so, so happy." She wiped tears off of her face.
"Hey why are you crying? No more crying, we've cried enough." Arizona said, turning Eliza around so that she could spoon her. Even though this was new for both of them, it was easy. It was right. She placed a light kiss on her neck. "I'm really happy too. I've liked you since the first day we met. I even spoke like Yoda because I was so stunned by you."
"Me too. I was trying really hard to keep my cool but it was hard. I had never seen anyone so beautiful in my life." She turned around again, she wanted to see Arizona's face. "I still haven't."
Both girls leaned in for a kiss that quickly heated up. Arizona's tongue grazed Eliza's bottom lip and she quickly opened her mouth to give her access. Arizona had never kissed anyone before but she was sure no one in the whole world could be better at kissing than Eliza Minnick. Eliza's hands were running up and down Arizona's back and Arizona's hands went to Eliza's hips, trying to bring her closer. The brunette pulled the blonde's top up slightly so that she could touch her skin. Arizona did the same thing. She needed to feel Eliza's skin. Being teenagers, of course their hormones were raging but they knew better than to do something they might regret later. This was not their time. They pulled away, out of breath.
"I think I need a cold shower." Arizona said and they both laughed.
"Me too. Or we could go out to the snow, it'll ne even colder." The brunette said, placing her head on the blonde's shoulder and her arm across her stomach.
"Eliza…can I ask you something?"
"Of course, you can ask me anything." Eliza said, cuddling more into Arizona. Eliza apparently was the super affectionate kind and Arizona loved it.
"Have you ever done this before? I mean…being with a girl." She knew that this wasn't Eliza's first kiss with a girl, she had told her about the asshole prom queen from hell when they were making their hot chocolate but she didn't know anything else.
"I've kissed a girl before, you know that. But that was all. It wasn't even meaningful. She just liked to kiss me so she did…" Eliza said.
"I like to kiss you too." Arizona interrupted a gave her a little kiss on the side of her lips.
"But I haven't done IT. She wasn't the one I wanted as my first."
"I haven't done it either." Arizona said, still wrapped in Eliza's arms. "Eliza?"
"Yes?"
"I want you to be my first. You know, when we're ready." Arizona said sweetly and Eliza thought her chest was about to explode with love.
"I want you to be my first too, Arizona. When we're ready." Eliza got up a little bit to look into Arizona's eyes and kiss her nose. "Arizona?"
"Yes?"
"I'm in love with you."
"I'm in love with you too." The blonde confessed as they shared a beautiful and sweet kiss. "Eliza?"
"Yes?"
"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" Arizona asked blushing.
Eliza couldn't help but think that this was so much better than what she expected it to be. Arizona was much better than all the Claudia Schiffers and the Heather Locklears of the world. Arizona wasn't a dream come true…she was real, a reality...her reality. And that, that was so much better than any dream.
"More than anything." Said the brunette, closing their deal with one more sweet kiss before falling asleep on each other's arms.
February 14th 1993
The girls had been girlfriends for a little over a month now and they were both o cloud 9. Of course, they were keeping their relationship a secret. They didn't know how their families and peers would react. Being gay was still pretty much something no one ever talked about. Except for Melissa Etheridge, who had just come out. Arizona's list of lesbian Guru's was expanding. Eliza found this list and the whole 'what would they do?' both endearing and amusing.
Hiding their relationship was fairly easy. They were already best friends so people were used to seeing them together all the time. Also, they had always been affectionate friends so it wasn't odd to see them hugging or walking arm in arm. But then they were the stares, the wanting to hold hands and not being able to, the lingering touches, the deeper hugs they longed. Not being able to kiss at a park or at the movies or at a photo booth. It was frustrating but the moments they had together where oh so worth it.
They were both completely and madly in love. The kind of sweet but intense love that one feels when they are in love for the very first time. Both felt like it was the most beautiful sensation they had ever experienced. Arizona's house was always quieter than Eliza's, where two rumbustious boys and a toddler pranked them all the time; so, they hanged out there a lot more. Her dad was usually working long hours, sometimes not even coming back home for the whole weekend since her was working and the recruitment center near Portland. And her mom was a pre-school teacher with quite the social life. She was already in so many book clubs and garden clubs that she was rarely every home, so they had the house to themselves.
This year, Valentine's day was on a Sunday but that didn't stop their school from making them write stupid little notes and leave candy or flowers in people's "mail boxes". Both girls got many notes and treats from their friends but Eliza got a little too many from a boy that Arizona absolutely despised. She didn't like the way he looked at Eliza, HER Eliza. She couldn't blame him though, he had great taste. Still, to her, Keith Gray was the lowest way of live to ever work the earth. She left Eliza a single peony, sure roses are more traditionally romantic but peonies were her girlfriend's favorite flower, a lot of Hershey's kisses, softball 'stuff' and horse stickers and, girl explorer thin mints cookies. Probably not the most romantic ensemble but she knew her audience. Eliza loved everything.
Eliza on the other hand, was feeling quite jealous herself. Stupid Henry Chang wouldn't stop chasing Arizona. Asking her out, starring at her…leaving notes and chocolates on her valentine's box. Ha, the stupid boy didn't even know Arizona. Anyone who really knows her knows that she's a gummies and candy girl and not a chocolate one. So, she left a huge bag of sour worm gummies, pink and purple glittery pens, a box of nerds candy and a single daisy. Of course Arizona had to like the most Charlie Brown kind of flower. They didn't sign their gifts, but they knew very well who had sent them.
On Sunday they had planned to go watch a movie and then to have dinner somewhere but suddenly realized that two girls, starring at each other doing all these things on the cheesiest day of the year could be dangerous. It sucked to live in the early 90s USA. Why couldn't they move to Sweden? Or even Canada? 'You'll see baby, one day it will be seen as normal and gays will be able to get married to each other.' Eliza would constantly say. She was more optimistic towards this. Arizona was ready to move up further north with Eliza as soon as they finished high school.
They finally opted for renting a move and grab some take out and go to Arizona's house. Her parents were away for the night at a romantic little Inn. She envied them. She wanted to be able to do that with her loved one too. At least, they could be together alone. They allowed Arizona to stay by herself because she was old and responsible enough for that.
"I'm sorry that I can't take you to a nice place just the two of us tonight. It sucks." Arizona said sighing.
"Hey no, not apologizing. This is amazing. Just spending time with you is amazing. And don't you worry, pretty girl. One day we will be able to live as freely as we can. Just…not while we're minors." Eliza grabbed Arizona's hand and kissed it.
"Yeah but people will still judge. Like they do with k.d. and Melissa…" Arizona said
"I love how you talk about them as if they were your pals." Eliza said chuckling. "Look, Arizona. I'm so, so, so in love with you. I don't care if people judge. I only care for our wellbeing and security…which is why I care right now. When we're older and move to a big city full of gays like San Francisco or Vancouver for school, we won't have to care anymore." She said wrapping her arms around her smaller blonde girlfriend.
"I love you. You're the best. I can't wait until we're older so that we can live together in one of those cities." Arizona said, kissing Eliza on the cheek.
"Me neither." She kissed Arizona on the lips and hugged her tighter. "Do you think straight couples do this?"
"Hang out on Valentine's Day?" Arizona asked, confused by the obvious question.
"No silly. I meant…talk about moving together to a different city in a little over two years when they've been together for a short amount of time." Eliza asked, looking at Arizona with those big green emeralds that she liked so much.
"I don't know but I don't care. I want that. I love you. I've been in love with you for months and so have you…the fact that we took so long to confess it doesn't change it. Maybe it's too fast to be talking about that, maybe it's foolish but I don't care Eliza."
"I love you too. So much." She leaned in for a deep kiss. They forgot about the movie and just enjoyed being with each other and kissing for a while.
When they pulled apart, Arizona spoke first. "I have something for you." She then run to her bedroom and brought back a gift bag. "It's nothing spectacular, but…open it."
Eliza opened the bag and inside she found a little beanie baby's horse stuffed animal, a chocolate bar and a brand new softball glove. Eliza's eyes teared up. Arizona knew how much Eliza needed a new one. Hers was too small for her hand and it was too old and dirty. She also knew that she couldn't afford one with her allowance and that her parents were struggling financially and had four kids to feed. Eliza's face broke into a huge smile. "You remembered."
"Of course I did. All you ever talk about is softball and horses." She said rolling her eyes, pretending to be annoyed. "Yours is too small for your hand and it smells gross." She said making a face and then laughing "and I know how much you love playing softball. You shouldn't have to stop or ask to borrow gloves."
As soon as Arizona finished Eliza hugged her tighter than ever and kissed her all over her face. "Thank you." She said kissing her on the lips. "I also have something for you." She stood up to get her backpack. "It's silly really. And you'd probably have to hide it…but…here" she handed the blonde a wrapped book.
Arizona tore down the Barbie pink wrapping paper and also teared up when she saw her gift. Eliza had made her a beautiful scrapbook. It had a lot of pictures and tickets from movies and concerts, notes they've sent each other during classes, drawings…things from when they were just friends and from now. Also a lot of blank pages.
"Those are for what's to come. This barely begins. I know it's cheesy and I really wanted to buy you those sneakers you liked but-"
She was cut by Arizona kissing her to shut her up. She kissed her deeply, with everything she had. After pulling apart Arizona rested her forehead against her girlfriend's.
"This was perfect. I love it. We will fill it and I'll keep it forever."