Chapter 2

As the mourners began to leave, the squad of the 1-6, past and present lingered. The cemetery was packed and since they were all the way in front; it was easier to stay than try to fight their way through the crowd.

"Lieutenant, a word if you will?" asked Chief Dodds as he approached.

"Of course," replied Olivia as she moved away leaving Elliot frustrated. He just needed to speak with her, and he knew she would understand.

"Elliot, glad to see you're alive and well. We had our doubts for a while when no one knew where or how you were. Especially Olivia, but no hard feelings man" said John as he shook hands with Elliot and went in for a shoulder pat.

"Thanks Munch" he replied. "Good to see friendly faces, under the circumstances."

"Dude, you're kidding me, right?" Fin addressed Elliot with a scowl. "You have no idea how your leaving affected her.

"….wait" he said as Elliot was about to interrupt. "Whatever shit you were going through man, she didn't deserve that. Not from you."

"We had to watch her self-destruct because you all but destroyed her." Nick had to chime in. He's been waiting a long time to meet the famous Elliot Stabler and give him a piece of his mind for Liv's sake.

"Who the fuck are you?" asked Elliot as he began to turn red. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"I'm her partner…" answered Nick before he was abruptly cut off.

"I'm her partner" interrupted Elliot.

"No. You left without a word and when you did, you gave up any rights you think you may have had to her" Nick was about as angry as Elliot.

"Okay, this is neither the time nor place for a punching match." John stepped between the two former detectives whose hands began to curl into fists and faces were getting redder by the second. "We are at Don's funeral, show some respect. Although, I can't say this isn't entirely unexpected. Cragen was waiting for this for as long as we have."

Both men stepped back. "You're right. I just want to talk to Liv. I don't want to cause a scene or disrespect anyone" Elliot said looking pointedly at Amaro.

"Well I think Liv should have a say in that," said Fin as he saw Olivia was watching from her conversation with Dodds.

Olivia was so glad for Dodds' interruption. She needed a few minutes distraction before confronting Elliot, not to mention she was surrounded by her squad; her nearest and dearest friends, her family. She didn't want to be put on the spot or cause a scene, especially not here, today. Unfortunately, she had no idea what the chief was talking about because her attention was on the gathering that she just left.

"So, I'll expect to see those forms on my desk on Tuesday then Lieutenant" Dodds said.

Forms? Ummm, shit what forms were they? "I'm sorry Chief, could you say that again please?" Focus Olivia she kept a little mantra going in her head.

Chief Dodds knew there was something more to Olivia's distraction than her former captain's funeral. As he looked at the small gathering nearby, he saw what she saw—one very angry man getting ready to deck an equally angry Amaro.

"Do I need to step in there, Lieutenant?" he questioned Olivia.

"No sir, I'll handle my squad thank you" she said as she began to walk away, all thoughts of forms forgotten.

"I walk away for two minutes and the chief is ready to chew some ass for a potential fight! At Don's funeral nonetheless!" Olivia tried to keep her voice calm while letting her irritation and authority through clearly.

"Sorry Liv, I just want to talk to you. Can we get a coffee?" Elliot asked.

"It's Lieutenant or Olivia, please don't call me anything else. And I don't want a coffee, or food, or anything right now."

Elliot knew she would be upset at his appearance here today, but he didn't expect the hostility he was feeling radiating off her. "Okay Olivia. Can we just talk? I need to…"

"No" she answered before he was able to continue.

"No?" Elliot questioned as he looked her right in her eyes. He couldn't read her, not now.

"What do you want Liv?" asked Fin pointedly.

"I just want to go home please Fin. Can we?" Fin put his arm on her back and began leading her away.

"Li.., Olivia!" pleaded Elliot as she got further away.

"Come on, let's go get that drink" said John, leading Elliot away in the other direction before anyone else was able to say a word.

As soon as Fin drove out of the cemetery, Olivia let out the breath she had been holding for who knew how long. She kept her hands curled into fists on her lap. She knew her nails were leaving marks on her palms, but the pain kept her focused. Fin drove in silence. That's what she loved about him; he wouldn't fill the beats with idle chatter. When and if either had something to say, they would say it, honestly.

It was Olivia that broke the silence. "Fucking Elliot!" she said shaking her head.

Fin glanced at his longtime friend without fully turning his head. He knew she was putting on a brave front. He also knew she knew she didn't have to in front of him, he didn't need to remind her. If she were to break, he would pull over and let her.

"You really didn't think he'd show for the cap's funeral?" He wasn't accusatory, just probing.

"I…I" Olivia had to take a couple of deep breaths. "Who called and told him? How did he get the info for when and where? If he got that message, how come he didn't…" She trailed off not wanting to complete her thought.

"Honestly Baby Girl," Fin said. "I don't know who was able to get hold of him. Munch and I tried three years ago but it was like Elliot fell off the face of the earth." It was true. When Lewis abducted Liv the first time, there was no question whether or not to bring Elliot in on the search. No one, aside from Fin himself, would be more dedicated to finding her. No one knew her better. No one cared more. But when he couldn't be found, Fin began to believe as Olivia did, that last part wasn't true anymore. Not after her utter abandonment. "Now..."

"Now, what?" She wasn't really asking him a direct question, so Fin didn't respond until he doubled parked outside of her apartment.

"What can I do?" he asked. Never, "are you okay?" because Liv was perpetually fine.

Olivia shook her head as she stepped out of the car. "Just be you Fin."

Before she had a chance to walk away, Fin was out of the car with his arms wrapped around her. "Always" he said hugging her to him.

Without even realizing it, Olivia latched herself to Fin with a death grip on his suit jacket. She was shaking but that was her only outward sign of distress. Of course, Fin said nothing, just held her. After composing herself, Olivia pulled back and held Fin's face in her hands.

"Thank you!" she said and gave him a peck on his lips. He nodded as he watched her enter her building.

"John, ya gotta help me out here" Elliot pleaded. "I know I was a shit for leaving but I didn't expect the hostility from everyone!"

"Elliot, we could all understand why you left. Really, even Liv. She wasn't happy, but she was able to piece together a plausible reason. She may have been deluding herself, but whatever got her through, you know? You shot a kid and a lot of the time there is no coming back from that." John was sympathetic towards Elliot but like everyone else, he watched as Olivia practically drowned from his departure. Of course, she was hit the hardest and that rippled throughout the close-knit squad.

"We go back a long time my friend but come on Elliot! Do you really expect her to throw her arms around you, cry on your shoulder, forgive and forget? It's Liv!"

Elliot wasn't exactly sure what he was expecting. He knew he would have to grovel and talk, but she had to be there to let him. Talking is something they didn't do well together. Often things were left unsaid, they just knew. That wasn't going to work this time.

"John, she was able to move on and I am so grateful for that. I just need to talk to her. I'm sorry. Thanks for the coffee but I'm heading over to her apartment. The timing may be bad, but we've waited long enough." Elliot stood but John grabbed his forearm halting him in his tracks.

"She no longer lives there Elliot." Munch furrowed his eyebrows behind his sunglasses as he took in Elliot's bewildered expression. "Seriously, wherever you've been wasn't there any cable news channels? Internet? You really have no idea…"

"What the hell John?" Elliot's anger and chagrin were immediately replaced with concern for his partner. "Olivia loved that apartment. She owned it free and clear there's no way she would move. What is it I don't know?" He made no move to sit back down, but he didn't move to leave either.

Munch was torn between his loyalty to Liv and the fact that he knew the man standing in front of him was more than her partner and obviously lost. "If she wants you to know anything, she has to be the one to tell you. In order to do that, I agree, you need to get her to talk." John scribbled an address on a napkin. Please forgive me Olivia.

It was an emotional morning all around so once Olivia got back to her apartment, she was grateful to have her little boy in her arms. Noah brought such joy to her life at a time when she didn't believe there was any joy left in the world.

"Lucy, I..." It was her plan to take her son to a playdate this afternoon, but she had to admit to herself that she needed some calm and quiet. The captain's passing, having to give his eulogy, and of course, Elliot showing up the way he did. She always thought if he ever came back, she would either run into his arms and beg him never to leave again or use her right hook against his jaw before giving him a good piece of her mind. She hoped the latter would be the action she actually took, but she never thought she'd just freeze. She almost had a panic attack right there in front of hundreds of people! Luckily, she was an expert at compartmentalizing.

"You look like you could use a nap Liv," Lucy joked. She has seen Liv through some rough spots, very late nights, threats to her own life as well as Noah's but she respected her employer and felt almost like family. "How about I take Noah to Zach's house and you can relax a while. I have a date tonight so I will have him back in time for you two to have dinner together."

Lucy was a godsend. Liv stood up and hugged the young girl. "Thank you, Lucy!

Elliot had been standing outside Olivia's door for the last 25 minutes. He noticed this new building had a doorman. He loved the idea of more security for her, but he was a little disappointed when he was able to just walk in after a young woman was trying to wrangle a little boy before he ran into the street. The kid was cute, but he was obviously a handful. Finally, he knocked.

Olivia had just finished pulling her favorite t-shirt over her head when she heard a knock. She cut her bath short when her neighbor called to let her know he'd be dropping off a package he signed for. She tried not to spoil Noah, but his birthday was coming up and she already started ordering his gifts. She quickly stepped into her most comfortable striped pajama bottoms and ran her fingers through her hair as she opened the door. Unfortunately, she didn't stop to look through the peephole.

Elliot was taken aback as Olivia opened the door as if she was expecting someone. Jesus, he thought. Her wet hair was cascading past her shoulders in haphazard waves and her face was free of makeup, but she was as striking as ever. He loved this look. Natural. Beautiful. Liv.

"Hi." That was the only thing he managed to say before her fist connected with his jaw sent his head flying hard to the right. Shit that hurt.

Shit that hurt! Olivia grabbed her right fist with her left hand but expressed no emotion other than anger. How the fuck did he find her?

"I deserve that, and more" Elliot managed to say as he rubbed his jaw. "Still a badass I see." He knew he shouldn't be joking right now but damn, he missed her.

"Are you okay Olivia?" asked an older gentleman as he opened his door across the hall. "Do I need to call the police?"

"I'm fine Mr. Richmond. Nothing I can't handle, and I am the police, remember?" Olivia kept her eyes on Elliot and her voice as even as possible even though she wasn't sure if she wanted to cry, yell, or hit him again.

"Well, I'm here if you need me. Oh, here's your package sweetie" declared Mr. Richmond as he held a brown box towards Olivia. Elliot broke eye contact as he stepped back and took the package with a nod towards the older gentleman.

"Thanks Mr. Richmond" she replied and waited for her neighbor to close his door. Taking the box from Elliot, she shot daggers from her eyes. "How did you find me? No, you know what? I don't want to know. Just go home Elliot." She stepped back to close the door when he threw his hand out to stop her.

"I don't have a home to go to." Elliot's head dropped and his eyes stared at the floor in the hallway. Their instinctual connection was shattered, by him. He needed to talk now if he had any shot at making her understand. "Kathy died over three years ago."

"El…" She was definitely not expecting that. "I, I'm sorry."

He had to look up. She sounded so surprised of course and so sincere, Typical Olivia; always putting the feelings of others ahead of her own. He met her eyes and held her gaze for a moment before she stepped aside signaling for him to enter.

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