A/N: Hooray, here's chapter two (in which Halt gets wayyyyy OOC and the ink conquers)! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed-it was awesome to hear your comments. :D I found my old notebooks that has this story in them, and it's actually three and a half years old, which makes me feel a little better about how awful it is. :) I think I have ten chapters, but only four are typed up-I'm going to start typing the rest soon. Enjoy the story. :D
Ranger's Apprentice, Star Trek, Star Wars, The Big Bang Theory, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Sound of Music, and Rodger & Hammerstein's Cinderella have some stuff in common, but there's really only one thing of which I'm thinking-sadly, none of them belong to me; they are the property of their respective owners.
Halt was at his cottage, preparing for another nighttime meeting with Inanya can't they hang out in the day?. He had grown to love her and planned to confess his feelings tonight. Um, after how long? And writing about Halt's feelings just feels so...weird. Of course, I suppose it is-too much focus on Halt's emotions pulls us back on the Enterprise hurtling towards the galaxy of Waytheheyoutofcharacter, warp speed ahead. Also, he doesn't seem like someone who would plan this thing out (more on that later).
Inanya set out towards the woods, heart racing. She and Halt had been meeting there every night since the time she had almost hit him with her knife Again, what's wrong with the day?. Every night when she returned home, she would think blissfully of Halt until she fell asleep that's bordering on obsession. Her love for the Ranger was great, and she hoped that something would happen between them soon. How come their emotions always perfectly coincide? I mean, yeah, a little bit is normal, but this is just dumb.
He sensed her approaching everyone stand and applaud, Halt's Ranger skills have finally arrived. "Inanya," he spoke softly. Oh dear God in heaven, I cannot express how annoying I find it when couples randomly say one another's names. Example:
"Halt..."
"Inanya..."
"...what were you going to say?"
"Nothing, I just enjoy rolling your name around on my tongue. It's FUN!"
It's kind of pointless and awfully cliche.
The cloaked feminine figure came closer. Tonight, she looked different. Her hood was back and her hair was unbound, falling freely in wavy cascades about her shoulders holy cliche overload. Wordlessly, he took her small hands in his. Annnnd we fall out of character yet again. But just a little bit. Hand-holding is acceptable, but the context is all messed up. He'd be holding Inanya's hand tightly or just placing his hand over hers (which we can rule out, since there needs to be a solid surface under said hands). Very brisk and straightforward, not all mushy and timid. (Jeez, apparently I like analyzing Halt.)
Inanya was left breathless. She had never been so close to Halt. "Listen to me for a moment," he commanded softly, his slight accent becoming more prominent. Okay, Halt having an accent always turns me to mush. When I reread Ruins of Gorlan a week ago and Flanagan first talked about the "Hibernian burr," I literally did one of those "cliche-girl-in-love" sighs. Out loud. And I felt no shame. (Sorry, random divergent-ness.)
"I shall," she answered even more quietly, her voice losing the edge it usually beheld. I always liked how that bit sounded in my head-her voice getting really soft and sweeter, like she has an idea of what he's going to say. Kind of an "I'm letting my guard down" type thing. Hooray, I found a tiny glimmer of hope in this horrible mess!
"Inanya…I love you," Halt stated simply.
Okay, let's stop here for a second. Halt saying "I love you" is plausible. However, the execution is the difficult part here (and, obviously, the part that I botched horribly). He probably wouldn't drop it at the beginning of a conversation or something like that. I think it'd work if he said it just after they kissed passionately, while looking into her eyes very straightforwardly. No mushiness in his tone, just clear, honest words. Because Halt doesn't really overdo feelings (and back in the day of this story, I had a tendency to pile on the emotion).
So yeah, after that spiel, I think it's pretty obvious what the problem with this was-far too mushy. Plus, Halt doesn't really strike me as the type of man who'd sit at home, planning out when to say those three magic words. He'd just let it happen.
Lol, random mental image of Halt sitting in his cabin with a piece of parchment in front of him, poring over it and looking very focused. Someone (probably Gilan or Will, even though neither one of them are his apprentices at this point in my story) walks in and asks what he's doing. Typically, Halt scowls, makes some comment about apprentices and the endless questions that they ask, and finally admits that he's making a plan.
"A battle plan?" the apprentice wonders.
"No," Halt retorts. "A plan to confess my deep, passionate, and undying feelings to Inanya."
(Okay, so that last part was WAY out of character, but hey, it conveys what I wanted it to...)
Holy character analysis. Well, when I'm writing about Halt next, I know where to look for personal insight...
She reached up to push his hood back, running her hand across his face in a tender caress He probably wouldn't be hugely fond of that...just saying. "I love you too," she professed, her voice soft and gentle.
They stood there for a moment, lost in one another's eyes I really need to learn to abandon these awful romantic cliches; the horror will eventually kill me. Inanya felt Halt release her hands. Slowly, he moved towards her and kissed her briefly on the lips. The short kiss was blissful for both of them, but they both longed for something more. Okay, that just sounds incredibly awkward. And Halt wouldn't be timid about the kiss (not that he'd get overzealous or anything)-but he's a man. He'd take initiative. None of this wussy crap that is all over the place in here.
Inanya took a step towards Halt. He looked into her eyes and saw the desire. So now it's not just "desire," it's "the desire?" Placing his hand on the back of her head, he moved towards her and kissed her once more. This kiss was longer and more passionate, both slowly letting their guards down at last and they didn't let their guards down when they said "I love you?" Interesting. As they slowly moved apart, he pulled her into a tight embrace. A near-silent sigh escaped Inanya's lips. Question: isn't a "near-silent sigh" basically a breath? "I am entrusting you with more of me than I have ever revealed, Halt," she informed him, still without the edge to her voice. Revealed? What? I don't even know what I was doing here except making a very failed attempt to sound romantic.
He had never heard her voice without that edge for so long. "I know, my dear. Halt would never "my dear" someone. Ever. Not if his very existence depended upon it. I will not harm you in any manner," he promised. Well sheesh, what a reassurance. Her boyfriend's not gonna hurt her. Isn't that kind of standard protocol?
They moved apart a bit to share another tender kiss. One thing about these older stories of mine that bothers me is the frequency with which my characters kiss. I think it devalues the action a bit if a couple kisses three times in such a short amount of time (HINT HINT). It's overkill. "I feared I may have waited too long to confess my feelings for you," Halt conceded.
"There is no one else whom I love good Lord, I hope not-you've been flirting with Halt for who knows how long!, and as far as I know, no other men who are in pursuit of me," Inanya remarked. And if there were, hopefully it wouldn't matter. You're in a relationship (well kind of), sheesh!
Halt felt a slight pang of disappointment to hear that caustic edge return to Inanya's voice, but said only, "How can no other man desire you? You are the most beautiful woman in all of Araluen." And he's complaining about having her all to himself? That's just out of character for any normal male. He should be skipping around and doing a victory dance, which is also out of character, but it's not much further off the scale than some of the stuff in here. Don't even get me started on him calling her beautiful. By this point, he'd probably be thinking it, but I seriously doubt he'd say something so straightforwardly. (Random note to self: if I ever have my lead female and someone else talk about Halt's complete lack of romantic flair, she should mention that she knows he thinks she's beautiful by the way he looks at her. Only she'll explain it in a less cliche way.)
Hey, I just had another thought. It's said that 90% of all human communication is nonverbal. Halt is the master of nonverbal communication. His gestures say so much (because he uses them very sparingly)-a look, a nod of the head, a raise of the eyebrow. Just thought I'd point that out. He's an interesting person to analyze.
Inanya's lips parted I totally stole that from my best friend's LotR fanfic Beauteous Wonder, probably from the part where the leading lady's boyfriend is telling her that he loves her. She knew that Halt was a very guarded man well it's kind of a job requirement and never said anything that he didn't mean many times over. She struggled to find something to say but at last came up with: "You know what is said about Rangers. Do you think that any of the common folk, even the men, would look twice at a woman who walks in shadow?" Oohh, I kind of liked the "walks in shadow" part (even though it's cliche), but it's not really an appropriate description of the Ranger Corps. This makes them sound a little bit like the necromancers that some people think they are.
"If that is what they do…look only once at you…then they are at a loss," he declared. Again, quit complaining that there aren't a bazillion guys chasing after her! She's YOURS, dude! All yours! (Feel free to laugh maliciously and rub your hands together in a creepy fashion. Because that is actually more in-character than being disappointed that your girlfriend doesn't have a screaming crowd of fanboys behind her.)
The moment the words left Halt's mouth, Inanya gave him an ardent kiss. "I love you," he whispered into her hair. Remember what I mentioned earlier about a bunch of kissing devaluing the action? Well the same thing goes for "I love you." Probably shouldn't happen more than once in a scene.
"I believe that was mentioned before, darling."
If a woman ever called Halt "darling," he'd probably throw her in a moat. He seems to like reprimanding people in that particular fashion.
"I know, Inanya. It needed to be said once more." No it didn't.
She emitted another low sigh what the heck is this low sigh business about? Low sighs are sighs of exhaustion before admitting willingly for the second time that night, "I love you too, Halt, and I vow to remember you always as my first love." Wow, what a special vow. *sarcasm sign*
He was rather taken aback, but pleasantly so. "Then I vow not to do anything to blemish your memory of me," he promised to his love.
They kissed once more please stop that before Inanya asked, "Is there anything more you wish to do tonight? HOLY SUGGESTIVE QUESTION ALERT! If not, I shall go home." Dang right you will. And you better be going alone.
"I only want to walk you home and ask if I may be given the pleasure of spending all of tomorrow with you," he requested. Well at least he's chivalrous. He totally could've taken advantage of that question. But now Halt's out of character again.
"Of course," she replied.
The couple strolled happily along towards Inanya's cottage, talking and kissing on occasion gahhhh, somebody stab me...!. When they reached her cottage, Halt took her into his arms and kissed her with a rush of fervor the "rush of fervor" part has a sense of urgency to it, like he doesn't have a lot of time to kiss her. Which might be the case; who knows when the real Halt will return from his epic voyages on the Enterprise?. "Goodnight, Halt. I love you," Inanya informed him. Oh please. *eye roll*
"I will be here tomorrow around eight in the morning so now that you're dating, the unwritten laws of Ranger-dom courtship protocol dictate that you are finally allowed to see one another in the day? About time. I love you as well, Inanya, and bid you good night," he said with one last kiss which was followed by a long embrace.
As Inanya entered her cottage, she thought about Halt. Once you accustomed yourself to his often gruff and sinister manner—or worked past it—he was wonderful. And his "outer shell" isn't wonderful? She loved him and desperately wanted to promise to love him always, but doing such things while their love was so new was not wise well, you've got a leg up on some of my other early characters, then. She would see if what she and Halt had could withstand the greatest test of all—time. That was so cliche that I want to travel back in time and smack myself for it.
Halt was, for once, unable to focus...and here we are, back on the Enterprise, traveling towards more OOC. He could not seem to turn his mind from Inanya. It was blissful, but agitating for the part of his mind that remained immune to his emotion um, doesn't most of his mind remain "immune to emotion," seeing as Rangers have to think with the left (logical) halves of their brains, not the right (emotional) halves?. For tonight, he decided to allow his mind to succumb to her. That sounds a little weird, like she's hypnotizing him or something.
Inanya was wonderful. She made every moment wonderful yeah, we just used "wonderful..." twice…and made Halt feel as if he could sing. Yeah, this is in the same realm of "out of character" as Halt doing a victory dance. Possibly even more out of character than a victory dance. Words cannot ever express the wrongness of Halt wanting to break into song.
Hahahahaha, I just got a mental image of Halt running through the streets of Redmont with his arms open wide... "I'm so happy I could...SIIIIIINGGG!" (kind of like Herbert from Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
Switch to Halt running through grassy hills (like the ones from The Sound of Music), singing loudly... "THE HILLS ARE ALIIIIIIIIIVE...WITH THE SOUND OF MUUUSICCCC...!"
Then, Halt kneeling dramatically on Inanya's doorstep, holding her hands and looking up into her eyes, while he serenades her...
"Do I looooove you because you're beautiful...or are you BEAUUUUUTIFULLLL...because I love youuuuuuuuu?...Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dreeeeaaammmmmm...or are you REALLLLLLLY as BEAUUUUTIFULLL as you SEEEEEEM?"
Oh, if only you knew how hard I was laughing right now...Halt singing is just so strange and OOC.
Don't do it, he reminded himself.
You'll regret it.
Just like the author will regret writing this part when she comes back and reads it almost four years later.