"Eh?"
Haka leaned his back on the back support of the throne, seating himself on one of the throne's arms to get a good look at what had his friend so perplexed. "What's up?" he asked, glancing down at the other player. Momonga was making a pointing gesture with his finger, as if trying to repeatedly tap at something.
"It's not letting me log out..?" The Lich replied, his shaking hand betraying his shock. He tried another motion with his hand, this time swiping sideways with his finger. Haka remembered it being the gesture to contact an available admin.
"I-It's not working?! I can't reach the GM or any of the shitty devs!" Momonga shouted. His voice echoed all across the large throne room, the sheer size of the space making it vibrate through every square imch. Almost immediately, it seemed as if a green miasma of light washed upwards from him before vanishing.
"I don't see the HUD either..." Haka cosigned, unaware of the strange light effect on Momonga, having already looked away. He slid his helmet off, which was shaped like a featureless stylized skull with a curved horn sprouting from either side. He nestled it in the crook of his left arm. He kept trying to tap the side of his own head, attempting to find the headset's menu to force a log out.
Nothing happened.
Haka blinked, massaging his throat where his adam's apple was located. Or rather, where it used to be.
"What the hell..?"
What happened to his voice? It didn't sound like himself at all!
Haka cleared his throat. He counted to three, saying testing afterwards and repeating himself.
I sound like a damn woman!
Not only that, but he realized his sense of touch felt...normal. Even the armrest of the throne he was sitting on felt cool to the touch.
"You've noticed it too, I take it," Momonga spoke up, wrenching Haka from his self-reflection.
"Uh, what?" Haka snapped his gaze upwards, belatedly realizing he'd been staring at the marble floor. Momonga sounded so calm, it unnerved him a bit.
Momonga must have been referring to what he'd just been thinking. Haka's brows furrowed in concentration. Was Momonga experiencing the same? He surely must have heard his changed voice.
"Yeah... Yeah, this is weird," Haka whispered, his fingers caressing his neck. He looked down at his hand, which was not completely covered by armor. He examined his hand, which looked undeniably feminine. His fingernails were still neatly trimmed, but were now a bit longer. He could even feel the platemail that rested on the top of his hand, and the trapped heat between armor and skin.
"Lord Momonga, is something wrong?"
Both Momonga and Haka froze at the new voice. They both turned to see Albedo, the Guardian Overseer, had moved closer to the throne, remaining kneeled.
"I'm...trying to reach the GM..." Momonga replied haltingly.
"Did she just talk" he thought dumbly to himself.
NPC's shouldn't have been abme to talk. Subtle Facial expressions and extremely detailed animations like those weren't really a feature of Yggdrasil, let alone fully voiced dialogue. Albedo shuffled even closer to him, nearly hovering over him. Momonga had to sit back on reflex.
"What is this "Gee Em?" She shuffled even closer, nearly pressed onto him. "Please forgive your servant for her lack of knowledge, but I will do all in my power to help you find it!"
Even Haka could tell he was visibly shaken before seeing a bright green light flash across his form, vanishing as quickly as it came. Momonga seemed to have regained his composure nigh instantly, which Haka found to be quite impressive given the circumstances.
Haka decided to remain quiet for the time being.
"Ahem," Momonga coughed. "Nothing need mentioning," he straightened up in his chair, prompting Albedo to step backwards, then resume her kneeled position.
He looked towards Haka for any sort of guidance, but he only shrugged. Momonga seemed to shrug more violently in response, making Haka silently facepalm. What did Momonga possibly expect him to do? He was just as confused as he was. Unfornately for Haka, he did not have a whole guild of NPCs at his beck and call. This was completely out of his element.
"We'll need to figure out if this is still the game, right?" Haka asked, deciding to not acknowledge that Albedo turned her head to glare daggers at him. Where was that animosity coming from? "What?" he asked the NPC, uncomfortable with the staring. For several tense seconds Albedo simply glared at him.
"Milord, what is this...this wench doing here?"
Momonga paused at Albedo's comment. "Huh?"
At this point she was staring directly at Haka, fists clenched as she stood up.
" You have a lot of nerve, to sit on his throne, let alone while it's occupied."
Haka was more confused than angry and could only blink. "Did she just call me a wench?"
Albedo tilted her head to one side, continuing to glare at Haka.
Momonga could sense the tension in the air. He had no idea how any of this was happening. The NPCs were suddenly...alive, and already it looked like Haka might be in some kind of danger.
Until he had a better grasp of what was going on, he couldn't afford to have the only other player he could communicate with getting hurt somehow. Perhaps he needed to roleplay his character, at least to buy some time. He was a decent salesman back at home.
In other words he needed to bullshit his way through this.
He slammed his fist down onto the arm of his throne.
"Enough!" his voice boomed, suprising everyone, including himself, at it's strength. His voice was definitely a bit deeper than it was supposed to be.
Albedo gasped, quickly returning her gaze to the ground and folding her hands in front of her, in a graceful display of submission. "Apologies, milord."
Inwardly, Albedo was seething. Outwardly, she was gritting her teeth, her face hidden from the two players' view. Who did that floozy think she was, acting so intimate with her Lord Momonga?
For all intent and purposes, Momonga appeared to be the mildly annoyed Overlord reclining in his throne. In his mind however, his thoughts were running faster than the speed of light, trying to justify how all of this was occuring. He tapped his chin, with his bony finger, idly realizing his hand no longer felt like flesh and blood. He observed Albedo, two thoughts coming to him.
Yggdrasil had a no tolerance policy when it came to acts considered "18". If he were to do such a thing, the game's code would kick him from the server.
Secondly, although it was being proven already, his sense of touch felt just as real as if he was back in his apartment. He was sure Haka came to the same conclusions.
Hopefully he wouldn't get banned from the game for what he was planning, if this was indeed a sequel.
"Albedo, come here. I want to test something."
The woman immediately perked up, striding closer to the lich, her adornments bouncing pleasantly before coming to a stop. "Of course, Milord!"
They bounced again.
She began to hover closer to him a second time, pressing herself against him.
Momonga's jaw dropped comically, as if it lost all tension, and that green light flew through his system again. His eyes would have been wide as saucers, if he still had eyes.
Momonga reached forward, pausing briefly at what sounded like Haka coughing.
Tch, this was for science. He wasn't kidding around.
"Albedo, may I t-touch you..?"
I sound like a creep!
"Please do, Milord!" Albedo's answer was nearly immediate, which only served to make Momonga even more uncomfortable.
He reached forward, taking a hold of Albedo's wrist.
What, that wasn't a feature in the game before!
Albedo had a pulse! And she was warm to the touch! They're supposed to be lines of code centered around AI. Not living beings!
To add to that, he was fairly certain Yggdrasil did not have jiggle physics, and that were this convincing. He almost felt like chickening out now. Was he really going to go through with this? It was an NPC created by a dear friend after all...
He glanced at Haka to see if he could tell what he was planning. Infuriatingly, Haka only shrugged.
Momonga groaned internally. Damn it, Ulbert would know what to do. Then again, Haka wasn't an official member of the guild. He supposed there wouldn't be much he could do right now. He decided to take the figurative plunge.
He thrust his hand forward, grasping the soft flesh of Albedo's bosom. Immediately, the thought of holding a water balloon strangely entered his mind.
"Ngh, milord..!" Albedo gasped, her back arching, and unintentionally giving Momonga even more leverage.
The fact that I haven't been kicked from a server is the last straw. This is no game. No sequel would allow such things as actions found in some erotic game-
Haka coughed again, but more violently.
Momonga regarded the berserker to see that his face was flushed, making a show of scratching his head.
Why was he-?
Damn!
Momonga recoiled, releasing his grip. He realized he'd been groping her for a while.
"I-"
"Is this it, My lord?"
Albedo looked about ready to jump into Momonga's lap at this point.
"Is this where you take me right here and now?!"
The hell?!
"Should I undress? Or should I let you undress me..?
"Er, Albedo, this isn't the time for this."
The Guardian Overseer gasped, stepping back and apologizing profusely.
"It's quite all right. I forgive you completely."
I'm the one that fondled her though...
"Sebas!" Momonga commanded, remaining in character.
The Butler who had been quiet this whole time, stood up. "Milord."
"I want you to scout the outside of the tomb. Report what you see."
Sebas acknowledged the order, departing immediately.
"Pleiades, report to the 9th floor." The maids bowed quickly and left the throne room.
"Albedo, gather the floor guardians and have them report to the 6th floor. I will meet them there."
Albedo bowed in response, but didn't leave without giving a victorious smirk towards Haka.
As soon as Albedo left the room, Haka sat up from the armrest and promptly slid to the floor on his haunches. Momonga stood from his throne, a sigh escaping his now non-existent lips.
"Are you okay?" he asked, now sounding extremely tired.
"I wish I could say yes," he replied, glancing down at his arm where his helmet lie nestled. He thought he might have dropped it already, but apparently he'd been holding on tight to it the whole time.
"I don't think this is a game anymore." Haka let the back of his head rest on the side of the throne.