Chapter 2: Help two, hurt two

"Well we can't exactly say no after accepting their offers. What should we do now?" Morgan asked.

"Between Sumia and Cordelia, only one of them can marry Chrom. And with Inigo and Laurent, only one can marry Lucina. The first question is, who are we truly going to help here?" Robin replied.

"Honestly, I really don't know yet…" Morgan trailed off.

"Well, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure Cordelia gets married with Chrom. As for Laurent and Inigo, I don't know them quite as well. I'll let you evaluate them," Robin declared.

"Why Cordelia and not Sumia?" Morgan asked earnestly.

"For one, she's one of my closest friends. Also, I think she'd make a better queen," Robin stated matter of factly. Morgan agreed that was sound reasoning; Cordelia had a much better idea of how Ylissean politics worked (it was one of the many things that the "perfect" pegasus knight studied), she was much more refined and wasn't constantly tripping over herself. Not like Sumia was necessarily a bad person, she just probably wasn't the right person to become queen. Then again, few people were. Robin continued, "If you want, then go ahead and ask for help from some other people, I know I will. Just make sure they won't tell anyone of what's going on." He then left the room.

Morgan sighed; she went from being bored to being put in an utterly awful position. She had highly suspected that Inigo and Laurent had crushes on Lucina long before today's confession; that just confirmed it for her. But now both of them were asking her for help. How was she going to pull this off? Her father was correct; she had to set up one while making sure both of them never knew about the other. The problem was, how would she do it? If they ever did find out, her friendships with Laurent, Inigo and Lucina alone would be eternally changed (for the worse), and then if the rest found out? She didn't even want to go farther down that line of thinking.

Damn, who's it going to be? Laurent is smarter, so he could probably do a good job setting up policies. Then again, Inigo is better at socializing, which means he'd make for a better negotiator. My dad's right. I'll need some help with this. And I know exactly where to look.

"Excuse me? You there?" Morgan asked. She knew that Severa could hear her from outside.

"Yeah, what do you want?" She replied, with her usual snark. Severa spoke with that tone of voice with almost everyone, even her friends. Good thing Morgan happened to be one of those friends. And apparently, so was Owain, as he was in the room as well.

"Hello there, famed tactician of lore! What brings you here?" Owain, for whatever reason, had a thing for speaking in a very over the top manner. Many wondered and asked why he didn't become an actor instead of fighting. When he replied, the farthest he ever got through his explanation before people lost interest or his meaning was halfway through. That last sentence would be considered normal by his standards.

"I have a problem that I can't bring to anyone else…" Morgan started. Her father was elsewhere, but telling the same story; only he was with Gaius and Ricken.

"...and that's how I got in this scenario, and I'm asking for your help. Because in order for this to resolve with the best possible solution, I will be needing assistance," Robin finished explaining.

"Well, you can count me out of this one. If they find out, I'm pretty much screwed for life. I'm already a criminal, I don't need anymore dirt on my name," Gaius said flatly after finishing his third lollipop for the day.

"Yeah, it's not that I dislike you Robin, it's just… it seems disingenuous, you know?" RIcken replied, more nervously.

It was a good thing Robin knew both of their weaknesses, and how to exploit them. Otherwise, the conversation would have ended there. "So I found these stores. Yeah, I just came across these stores one day, and it turns out that one of them sells the best sweets in the continent. The other, meanwhile, sells old and new magic tomes. Anyway, I was thinking of some people who would be willing to visit these establishments…"

In the other room, Severa was bringing up a counter argument to Morgan's sweet talking. "So, how are we supposed to know that there are two more Anna's out there, one that owns a shop selling clothes and beauty products and another that runs a theater which also sells 'fine literature' as you put it?"

"What, you think I'm playing, Severa?" Morgan pulled out a bag containing a fantasy book (Owain's favorite genre) and a kimono.

"Damn, this kimono is nice. Real nice, and it's so soft!" Severa said earnestly as she put it on, which was a rare occasion. Owain blushed when he saw her. When Owain got into a book, it could be very hard to break his focus, which meant that Severa looked good in the garment. And she knew it.

Elsewhere, Gaius was lying on the floor; the candy apple he had just eaten was of such a high quality that his body could not process how good it was. Ricken, on the other hand, was racking his brain with the kinds of new spells he could conjure just off the one tome that Robin had shown him.

"If you help me…" Robin started.

"I promise to show you where these places are," Morgan declared.

Needless to say, Gaius, Ricken, Owain and Severa were all on board.

Soon, the six conspirators were all in the same room, trying to find out how to deal with the situation at hand.

"So anyways, we're trying to get have Cordelia get with Chrom. Partially because she's been crushing on Chrom since she was a small child, and mostly because she'd be a better queen than Sumia. As for Lucina…" Robin gestured to Morgan.

"Um… truth be told, I don't know who I should actually help yet, between Laurent and Inigo…" Morgan trailed off nervously.

"Well, that's a great start," Severa replied, the sarcasm returning to her voice.

"I say we help Inigo. It should be easier because he's less awkward than Laurent," Ricken said.

"Yeah, can't really argue with that," Robin agreed.

"Sounds good," Gaius replied briefly.

"Ok, let's go with that," Morgan said again. However, she hadn't really made up her mind yet. To mask this fact, she continued. "Going on, you can't tell anyone else about what we're doing. We will try to get Cordelia with Chrom and Inigo with Lucina, but if it doesn't work out, then we can try to set up Laurent and Sumia. Don't start acting suspicious, but make sure that you're hiding the nature of what's happening here. All of us are going to be helping each other, but Owain and Severa are mostly gonna work with me, who are working with Inigo. Gaius and Ricken will be working with my dad, who's working with Cordelia. Got it?"

There was a simultaneous "yeah" from everyone in the room. First, Robin, Ricken and Gaius had to help Cordelia. "Okay, so you all know the set up. Anyways, she'll be here very soon now. Just play it cool, okay?" Robin ordered. They silently agreed.

"Oh, Gaius and Ricken?" Cordelia asked as she walked in. She clearly wasn't expecting the two of them to be there.

"They're gonna be helping out here. Listen, this is going to be a covert, black operation. You don't tell anyone what we're doing here, okay?" Cordelia nodded; she knew that things would somehow get even more awkward between her and Chrom if he found out that she had a crush on him by realizing that his fellow Shepherds were trying to help her get married to him.

"Alright, so we gotta get you closer to him. First, you'll need to engage in actual conversation with Chrom. Not like a brief talk, or discussing troop formations or battle reports, a normal ass conversation, know what I'm saying?" Robin then gestured to Ricken and Gaius, so they could explain their part in Cordelia's love life.

"As my mentor Miriel noted, repeated conversation can help lead to a romantic relationship. She found this by observing the relationships of the Shepherds that eventually married and had children," Ricken declared.

"Wait, how do you- oh god. Never mind, I don't want to know," Gaius said, cutting himself off mid sentence. The concept of Miriel secretly spying on couples within the Shepherds as they did… whatever they did was clearly not a pleasant one when Gaius gave it further thought.

"Anyway, it doesn't appear that Chrom is going to make the first move on his own. He's about as dense as volcanic rock. So we're gonna go aggressive here. Today, you are gonna ask him out for lunch," Robin explained.

"Whoa, whoa, slow down. I'm going to ask him out for a date right away? Shouldn't I go slower instead?" Cordelia asked.

"On the contrary, there are no doubt many people in your same spot. Some of which have more power and have been plotting to get into his bedroom for quite a long time. Since we don't know the pace at which these other ladies are going, we should try to get you close to him before some other gold digger does, you know what I'm saying?" Robin countered.

"Okay, I see your point. Anyways, how should I do this? I get nervous whenever I talk or get close to him," Cordelia said, getting nervous just thinking of talking with her longtime crush.

"Look, man, you've just gotta ask him. Ain't no playing around, you just gotta get in there and ask him on a date, you feel me?" Gaius chimed. "He's just walking around the camp right now, so you should be able to get a clear conversation in."

Cordelia's resolve returned. "Alright, let's do this." She took the lead, while the other three followed behind. No one suspected that they were trying to set up Cordelia with Chrom. Once she reached Chrom, the three men hid behind a wall where no one was already hiding, and they peered over to see the conversation.

"Um, hi Chrom…" Cordelia started trailing off, like she almost always did. Damnit, why was this so hard?

"Oh, Cordelia. Something you want to talk with me about?" Chrom appeared to be more confident as he replied. In reality, despite the mask, he was quite nervous and awkward when talking with women when the discussion wasn't combat.

"There's this really nice restaurant in the city. I was wondering…" Oh God, please take the hint…

Wait. Is Cordelia asking me out? Holy fucking shit! No, wait, now what am I supposed to do? "Umm, you were wondering what?" This sentence evoked a quietly angry reaction from the three men in hiding.

"Are you fucking kidding me with that shit? She practically spelled it out for you, man!" Gaius whisper shouted.

"So this is how a man with those looks and that kind of power is still unmarried," Robin said flatly, the disappointment evident in his voice.

Ricken had his palm pressed up against his forehead. "I didn't think he'd be great at talking to women, but damn, that's just kind of sad, honestly…"

"Do you think you would, um, like to go with me to this restaurant?" Cordelia asked. She stared at the ground, as though to hide the blush on her face.

"Uh, sure. How does tomorrow afternoon sound? I won't be doing anything by then." Chrom replied.

Yes! He accepted my date proposal! Cordelia said in her head. The three Shepherds behind the wall were also cheering.

"It was a little awkward, a little ugly, but she got it done," Ricken remarked.

"Now that's how you do it," Gaius said, relieved.

"Talk about making it hard on yourself," Robin noted.

With that dealt with, Laurent was talking with three of his fellow "future children" about how to ask a woman out on a date.

"So what I should do is be confident?" He asked the "matchmakers".

"Yeah. If you come in there with bad posture, a stammering voice, and just overall look nervous, there's no way it's going to work," Morgan replied.

"Okay then. What else should I do?"

"Appearance. Make sure you look good, confident like we said earlier, wear nice clothes when asking her and while you're on the date, assuming you get there that is," Severa added with a hint of snark at the end.

"In addition, you do not want to appear too forward. For you see, you do not ask someone on a first date and start talking about, how would Brady say it, things to do when you start fuc-" Owain was once again cut off.

"What he's trying to say is, don't get too aggressive. Just take it slowly and let your relationship slowly build up, you know what I'm saying?" Morgan said, finishing Owain's sentence for him.

"I'll have you know that I have no intention of suggesting any sexual actions with Lucina for the time being. Of course, I would be lying if I said I never wanted to-"

"Alright Laurent, I think it's time that we get out and get you to ask her. We don't want to waste time, after all," Severa interfered. Laurent would be mildly annoyed under normal circumstances, but these weren't exactly normal circumstances. Thank god he stopped. I don't even want to know what he was going say next.

So the four friends went off to find the serious and stoic princess.