A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

Being Loved

I am staying in his guest room. Although, we spent the entire night sitting on his extra comfy overstuffed couch. I can honestly say that I was never this relaxed around anyone. He put me at ease better than I ever thought I could be.

We both finally went to bed around four in the morning. I slipped off into dreamland with a smile on my face. I couldn't help but think that this was the feeling that my mom had talked about. This absolute acceptance of each other. There was no need to hide behind by my shields. No need to flirt outrageously, or try to make someone feel as uncomfortable as I do in my own skin.

When I woke, I found it was a little after noon and I could smell coffee brewing. I made my way towards the smell and was enthusiastically greeted by his dog, Roxy. He had told me that she was his certified service dog. She helps to calm him when he has flashbacks from his time in the Rangers and when he was part of the fugitive apprehension unit. He had seen a lot, and felt so much guilt over many things.

I didn't find him in the kitchen, but availed myself to the coffee that was ready. I had just savoured my first sip when he startled me.

"Good Afternoon, Beautiful," he whispered into my ear from behind. I jumped, and my hand clenched at my chest reflexively. I barely contained my gasp.

"You could give a girl a heart attack, Handsome." I set my cup down and turned around in his arms, wrapping mine around his neck. Standing on my tip toes I pressed a light kiss to his lips.

"I don't want to do that. I only just got you."

"I plan to be around for a long time."

"Good," was all he said before he returned the kiss.

A few moments later he pulled away with a sheepish grin as his stomach growled, announcing it's need to be feed.

"Why don't we grab some sandwiches for lunch and then we can curl up and talk some more. There are a few things that I think you should know about me that I didn't get the chance to tell you about last night."

I hesitantly nodded my head. I was a little worried about where this would lead. I could only hope that I wasn't wrong in the way I was feeling. We pulled together the items we needed and I couldn't help myself, I kept stealing glances at him. In some ways he reminded me of Derek. He was loyal, almost to a fault, he was handsome, and kind. He held a maturity to him that made me me childish. I know he's only a few months older than me, but it honestly felt like eons. He is extremely smart, not Reid smart, but he held a knowledge of life in his kind eyes. A worldly wisdom, if you will.

After we finished eating and cleaning up our small mess, he took my hand and gently lead me back to the couch. He lit a fire in the fireplace, and that's when I realized that he didn't have a tv or any electronics in this room. It felt more like a intimate setting then a family room. It felt cozy, it felt like home. When we sat he turned towards me and took both of my hands in his. I could see the fear he was trying to hide behind a blank mask. I tried to pull my left hand away so that I could cup his face, but he held on a little tighter.

"There are things in my past, that will haunt me for the rest of my life," he began. "I need you to know about them from me. I don't want you to have to do a search on me and find them. I want...no, I need, to be the one to tell you. Please, just listen to me. When I am done, if you want to leave, I'll take you home. Okay?"

I nod and wait for him to begin. I watch as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. It looked like he thought the world was going to end.

"When I graduated from high school, I was not in a good place. I was in and out of the system from the time I was born until I was ten and my parents both overdosed in front of me. I made each and every foster family from that point on out to be my enemy. I would get involved in heists, drugs, turf wars you name it and I did it. My cousin, who is two years older than me, joined the military and I followed. I have always looked up to him. We shared some similar life experiences and I saw how well things went for him once he joined." His jaw flexed and he seemed to get lost in a memory. Roxy whimpered and nudged up against his leg.

He chuckled little bit and rubbed her ears before whispering something to her. He smiled and she wagged her tail. Whatever dark place he had gone to, she pulled him right back. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes. Something terrible must have happened.

"Carlos and I were sent on a mission. We were in South America and both captured. Our torture had profound effects on both of our lives. It made him harder. He just retired from the Army not too long ago. He met the woman of his dreams, but is terrified that something will happen to her because of him. He runs his company like it's a military base, he's not the fun loving man that I once knew. When I found out that he has known this woman for six years and still pushes her away at every turn; I knew that I didn't want to be like that. I had to embrace the fact that I am still here and alive. I had to know if you felt the fireworks that I did when we are near each other. I no longer want to be the hardened and bitter man like him."

I let out a soft cry. I couldn't help but feel the pain he felt. I understood what he was telling me about his torture without him actually telling me. I understood that there were many things he couldn't really say because of confidentiality and clearances. I also knew, in that moment, that he held my heart deeper then I ever knew was possible.

A/N This story has the potential to go a lot further. If I find that there is enough interest, I will gladly make it into a full blown chapter story (with a small crossover into the Stephanie Plum universe). If not, then I will leave it as it stands. Need at least five requests for it to continue, as I have a few other stories that I am working on. Thank you!

Lynda