If I Die Young

Summary: Something's wrong with Logan. But can Kendall handle it?

I've been really lazy. So I'm finally updating. :)

Logan's POV

"Just go to the doctor." Kendall nagged me once again.

"I'm fine Kendall. Honest." I groaned. I knew I wasn't but doctors just gave bad news.

"Please Logan. If not for Kendall, then for me?" Ms. Knight asked.

"Okay! Fine!" I stood. "I'll go." I smiled.

"Thanks Logan." She smiled and hugged me.

"Want me to go?" Kendall asked as I grabbed my jacket and slid some shoes on.

"No. You'll just be bored." I smiled, kissed his cheek then left.

As I drove, I thought over my symptoms. I knew that I was feeling weak. Just like Jackson and Caroline had felt. I hoped I didn't have what they had, but I knew there was a chance.

I pulled into the hospital and went up to the front office.

"My name is Logan Mitchel, I'm here to see Dr. Stevens." I told the woman. "Is he here?"

"Oh Mr. Mitchel, good to see you, Yes he is… I'll inform Dr. Stevens right away that you are here." She stated and hurried through the doors.

Dr. Stephens was the family doctor. He treated my cousin, and he treated Caroline.

"Logan! How are you?" He rushed right out.

"I think I have it Dr. Stevens." I sighed softly.

"Oh no… Logan are you sure?" He asked, a look of sadness washing over his features.

"Yes. I feel just how both Jackson and Caroline did."

"But your cousin was in his twenties… as was your sister." He stated.

"Well that's why I'm here. Maybe you can prove me wrong." I sighed.

"This way then Logan." He led me through the doors to his personal office. "Sit." He pointed to a table. "I have to take some blood then I'll check all your reflexes and a few other things." He stated. I slid my jacket off, and he took a few vials of blood, then did a few other tests.

"How long will it take? The blood work." I asked.

"An hour or so." He stated then left the room.

I sat around bored. I grabbed my phone and called my aunt, Jackson's mom.

"Hello?" She answered on the third ring.

"Hey Aunt Tracy." I smiled.

"Logan, how are you?" She asked.

"I'm at the doctors." I told her.

"Why?" She asked.

"I think I have what Jackson and Caroline had…" I told her. She gasped and I heard her let out a sob.

"Are you certain?" She asked.

"I'm not sure yet, they have to get the results back. But I have a question…" I paused.

"What is it sweetie?" She asked.

"I know Caroline had a year… but how long did Jackson have?"

"They told him 6 to 9 months… but he was gone before he even hit 4…" She stated. I felt my heart jump into my throat. "Thank you Aunt Tracy, I'll call you later." I told her.

"Okay. I'll pray for you." She stated and hung up.

"Logan?" Dr. Stevens knocked on the door. I placed my phone in my pocket and waited for him to tell me the results.

"Well?" I asked after he stood there reading the folder of papers that he held.

"It's not good Logan…" He sighed. "The gene is active in your body. The same thing as both Jackson and Caroline had. You inherited that damned rare Leukemia gene that runs in your family…" He groaned and placed a hand over his eyes. "This leukemia is slowly killing off every member in your family… first your Uncle… then your cousin, Jackson… then your sister… now you… and you're so young." He sighed. "You're only 18…"

"Is there something… anything… I can do to counteract it?" I asked.

"There's this medicine… but it's only experimental. I started to research it after Caroline passed."

"Will it help me?" I asked.

"It might. I'll prescribe it to you now." He jotted down something.

"How long will I have?" I finally asked the question I feared the most.

"If the medicine works… you'll have a year… or even more. But if it doesn't… maybe 6 months…" He stated. I felt tears rise and I tried to blink them back… but they came anyways.

"Oh god…" I sobbed. "This isn't fair… I have a life… I can't be…" I paused. "I can't be dying… What will I do about my friends? My career… what will I do about Kendall?" I asked.

"Tell them… and help them accept the fact that this was going to happen. I was hoping the gene wasn't carried in you… It skipped your mother… but maybe it just affects every other generation…" He paused. "I'm so sorry Logan…" He sighed.

"It's okay… lets hope this medicine works." I stood and slid my jacket back on. "I have to go. Goodbye Dr. Stevens." I hugged him.

"You're a good kid Logan." He hugged me back.

I left, called in my prescription, and drove home.

"Hey Loges!" Kendall greeted me. I just kept my head down, ignored him, and went to my room.

I shut and locked the door then sat on my bed. I was going to die… and they didn't know… I hated watching my sister deteriorate and finally pass away… I don't think that Kendall could handle that… I sighed and held my head in my hands. I sat on my bed, and cried for a few hours.

Kendall only knocked one other time, and that was around 11 at night.

"Can I come in and go to bed?" He asked. I unlocked the door and went straight back to bed. I couldn't bear to break the news to him tonight… or even look at him. I was positive I'd look into those green eyes and just break down. So I lay on my side while Kendall readied himself for bed. I stayed facing the wall while he stood behind me.

"Night baby. I love you so much Loges." He kissed my cheek and went over to his bed.

It had been so long since he and I had slept in separate beds… A month before we started dating, it was late, and we were sleeping, but a crash of lightening lit up the room and then the walls shook. Ever since I was little thunder had always scared me. Kendall hadn't been fazed… he could sleep like a rock. But I was such a light sleeper. My ipod was dead, so I finally just tip toed over to Kendall and shook him. He let me crawl in bed with him and we snuggled together, his arms around me like he could protect me from the storm.

Too bad he couldn't protect me from this damn leukemia…" I sighed and rolled over to look at Kendall.

He was already asleep, the moonlight shining down, illuminating his blonde hair and smooth skin.

Morning came and I just didn't have the heart to tell him yet. I needed to… but I was scared. When Jackson told my aunt… she sobbed and stayed locked in her room for days, but finally he got her out of her room. He was told that he'd have 6 to 9 months… but he was dead before he even got to 4… When Caroline told me she had it… it was 4 years ago. She was my only family… and when she died… I fell apart. But Kendall was the glue I needed to be whole again. He saw how sad I was and how awful it was at the end… how can I put Kendall through all that?

"Logan… you gonna eat breakfast with us?" Kendall asked as he made his way to the door. I joined him and we actually had a good morning.

"So what's been wrong? Did the doctor just confirm you had a cold?" Carlos asked.

I felt my breakfast rise and tears blind my vision. So I stood, without a word, and left. Locking myself back into my room. I thought the entire day. I contemplated suicide… running away… but that was wrong. Kendall needed to know.

Around 10 at night, I decided the first person to tell, would be Ms. Knight.

I ventured out of the room and they were all watching Wipeout.

"Loges, you okay?" Kendall asked me after hugging me tight.

"Ms. Knight… can I talk to you?" I asked.

"Of course." She nodded and we walked to her room. "What's wrong?" She asked.

"Can you shut the door? And come sit… you'll need something to hold you up when I tell you this…" I told her.

She sat and turned to me.

"What happened at the doctor?"

"Ms. Knight… my family has this gene that my grandfather passed down…" I paused.

"Okay?" She stated.

"Well…" I took a deep breath. "Remember Caroline?" I asked.

"Of course. Your sister… she passed a while back." She nodded.

"Caroline died from this rare leukemia gene… and… the gene has came up in my DNA…"

"You lost me Logan…" She stated.

"Ms. Knight… I'm going to be straight up honest… I'm dying…" I told her. She gasped and instantly started to sob.

"Are you certain?" She asked.

"Yes. My sister was lucky to have a year… I'll have maybe 6 months…" I whispered and looked down to my feet.

"Oh Logan…" She sobbed and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm sorry." Was all I could say as she rocked me while we both sobbed.

"Have you told Kendall?" She finally asked.

"I can't… not yet at least." I whispered. "It'll just break him…"

"You have to… you can't keep this from him." She told me.

"I just have to figure out how." I sighed. "Thanks Ms. Knight." I stood. "Can you get this from the pharmacy?" I handed her the paper.

"Sure sweetie." She nodded. We left her room and Kendall ran over and hugged me.

I kissed Kendall and went back to my room.

I turned on the laptop, Kendall and I share, and brought up itunes. There were some new songs that Kendall had downloaded. The top song was 'If I Die Young' by The Band Perry. It had been listened to a few times, so I knew Kendall would recognize it. I plugged my headphones in and listened to it once. That's when I knew how'd I would tell him.

Well I just wanted to add this part. So you know what happened with Logan. :) I know it's so damn sad... I'm sorry.