Heyos m'peeps! /Shotdeadbyrabidllamas. Ohkays. I just cycled 19km and I'm kinda sunburned right now. The THINGS I do for you people! Jfksobsdf… To think I had 30+ hits and only one review… You people disappoint me… Gah. Well, then moving on. ME HAS NO RIGHTS TO NARUTO! –Bursts into chibi tears and rolls about on floor sobbing wildly while others just look on blankly, seeming to be rather uncaring about the current situation-

Chapter 2: Open Up The Package, What Did You See?

All the Akatsuki members had gathered in the living room, courtesy of Pein's urgent summons.

So now a ruckus filled the room with the usual shouts and hollers mostly related to art, religion, money, being a good boy, fishes and plants were tossed without a care throughout the room.

"Ahem." It was promptly ignored.

"Shut up before I rip you into shreds, join you back up painfully, set you on fire, rub salt into your wounds and then force you to listen to Justin Bieber or maybe Rebecca Black!" Pein roared at the group.

[Sorry to any JB/RB fans. Me no owns him/her either. I need more threat-writing practice.]

A heavy awkward silence permeated the air in the living room alongside the customary sweatdrop as everyone stopped talking at once.

"As I was saying earlier," Pein continued like this was a totally normal occurrence that happened almost everyday. It probably was, considering how wild these ninja were under normal circumstances.

"We have received an unnamed package that was sent to us a few days ago. Even after much scrutiny, we found nothing suspicious and have determined it to be a harmless object of no visible threat."

Pein smirked at his next statement. "However one cannot be too sure therefore who would like the honors of unwrapping this package?"

All fingers were instantly beside or facing the direction of our fellow Jashinist.

"-Bleep- all you heathens! Jashin-sama will punish all of you when you're dead then you feel his wrath and make you regret ever sabotaging me into doing such a silly thing!" Hidan swore the whole time as he slowly inched towards the innocent box placed on the coffee table.

"And don't come begging for mercy when that happens!" He finished when he finally completed his journey of epic-ness to the package-o-doom.

Hidan slowly nudged the unopened, innocuous package with his scythe and cringed, waiting for something drastic or something to happen.

When nothing serious exploded he grinned and glared at the box.

"Alright, now let's see what mother-bleeping person would send us a -bleep-ing package."

He ripped the wrapping paper away mercilessly, ready for the multitude of traps he suspected would activate at the rough action.

"All right, what bleeping person would send us this stupidly retarded stuff?"Hidan complained to the air around him.

Everyone gathered round the table for a closer look, still quite stunned that nothing life-threatening had happened.

Upon closer inspection, it really would look like nothing was wrong.

In fact, it was utterly dumbfounding. That was the conundrum, the big question mark, the problem at hand.

Was it seriously, truly, completely harmless?

Hidan poked it again for good measure, causing everyone to tense up once more.

It really appeared to be nothing more than a...

Whoops, a cliffie for you people. -Shrugs- Don't kill me since the next chapter should be out soon. In maybe a couple of hours/minutes. I expect to see more reviews or no chapter for you. XD Nah, I won't do that kind of thing. You feeling lucky punk? Mwhahaha! -Pummeled by fans-