A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews :) They were much appreciated and got me off my ass to finish this chapter which I must admit I struggled with Serena's POV. Anyway there will hopefully be more character interaction from here on in just needed to set the scene! Enjoy! x
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Chapter 2: Easier To Lie
Nate
As the saying goes, when it rains, it pours.
If dealing with my dad and the drugs wasn't enough, the indictment had to follow and our family was truly falling apart. Amongst all this of course was the Blair issue which was the only shadow of relief I had felt in the last few weeks but as usual family loyalty came first and now things were more complicated than ever.
The biggest problem with having your fate written in the stars from a young age is the burden of carrying your family's hopes, dreams and future. Knowing that I could help my dad just by putting my heart in the hands of Blair was driving me crazy. It was like a game of tug and war between my heart and my head. My heart wanted to let go, to finally be free, springing hope that I could finally have what I had wanted for so long, or at least try. My head knew I had to stop acting like a spoilt brat and finally take some responsibility for my actions, or rather my father's actions.
It wasn't like what was being asked of me was the worst thing in the world. Blair was a beautiful girl, she adored me and we had a past, it would be so easy to have a future. Plus she was Serena's best friend and that was one line Serena was not willing to cross again, since she'd come back she had made this perfectly clear. She pushed me away; she blatantly avoided me and worst of all those public displays of affection with that Humphrey kid, what was the point of me throwing everything away in hope that all of a sudden she would see the light and be able to get past everything that had previously held us back?
Despite seemingly having nothing to gain, all I wanted to do was run. To run as far away from my family, from Blair, from everything the Upper East Side was to me. Though at the end of the day there was only one person I pictured by my side.
I couldn't go to her party. I couldn't give her the ring. I hadn't been asked to commit a crime for my family, but I had been asked to give up everything that I wanted, everything I could be. With everything that was already happening, I was not ready to lose anything else.
It wasn't fair to me and it wasn't fair to Blair.
As the saying goes, when one door closes, another one opens.
"Jenny! ... Do you want to go take a walk, or something?"
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Serena
"We broke up, ok!"
Peering into the room Blair had isolated herself in, I froze at the sight before me. Blair and Chuck? Chuck and Blair? All I wanted to do was run in there and drag her away from that. What was she thinking? I understood that it was so easy to just run into the arms of the first person who showed you attention after a breakup, but Chuck Bass? Everyone knew his reputation, everyone who was anyone knew to stay away.
It had been a challenge picking up the pieces when I came home. The betrayals, the hurt and pain I had caused, the old Serena had a lot to make up for. But I had done it, I had done everything in my power to be a better person. In the past few weeks things with my mum had improved, you could even say they were good, I was in a healthy relationship with a guy who I absolutely adored and most importantly, I had regained the trust and friendship of my best friend. For all this, sacrifices had to be made, or rather Nate had to be sacrificed. Blair loved Nate. It had been worth it, hadn't it? I was happy.
Then, the breakup.
Hearing about the breakup, my heart had stopped. Seeing Blair and Chuck together, despite the initial revulsion, I hated to admit that I felt hope. The possibility that Blair could move on, maybe one day be okay with Nate and me together... but then the guilt had kicked in. 5 minutes after they break up and I try to make my move? She was my best friend. I had Dan. But why did I have to keep reminding myself of that?
All at once everything I knew was falling apart. Again.