The Mask and The Care

by Animellow

Everybody has a mask. And everybody hides something behind that mask. Everyone cares. And everybody hides something because they care. Or maybe they show it. But what is it that each person conceals? Read on to find out. A four-shot with short chapters each told from a different exorcist's point of view.

2. The One Who Lies

He was liar.

A pretender.

Someone who masqueraded behind a cover and lied, always pretending that he was alright when he was not, smiling through the pain when he was sad, accepting it when he was told something wasn't his fault when it was.

Allen had known it for so long, and during all these years he has never wanted to conceal it as much as he does now, because he cares about his friends. And as selfish as it is, he didn't want them to know.

He couldn't let them know.

Know of how terrible a person he was, the sort of life he used to live before Mana, the sorts of things he used to do while he was under Cross. Know of how he wasn't really the happy sort of person, and not someone who could get back up no matter how many times he fell down. Sure, he would try his best to be, but that didn't mean that that was who he was. Because he was a horrible excuse for a person - he couldn't win every time the way fictional heroes did in stories. He couldn't "save the people" like Lenalee or Lavi or Kanda, or even any of the other exorcists.

And he had a Noah living inside him of all things. Even if it was just the memory, it was still there, threatening to spill out and take control at any moment.

He was no hero. There was no way he would ever be a hero. Not like the other heroic and brave exorcists and finders and scientists, who had given up their very lives for this war. He had nothing to give up, and that was unfair of him. He had nothing to risk, because he believed that was what his life was worth.

As much as he would like to truly believe in the words he said, about how he would definitely save everyone - human or demon, he knew deep down that he couldn't.

Which was exactly why he was a liar. A pretender. Someone who masqueraded behind a smile and shielded himself with misdirection and half-truths or not-truths.

And he would never, ever let anyone know.

But since he wouldn't, someone else would, eventually, whether he knew it or not. He knew that very well. But until then he would hide it, for as long as he could.