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CHAPTER DEDICATION: BROWNeyes & golden doe for reviewing. Thank you guys so much! Your reviews gave me motivation to write this next chapter!
Disclaimer: Naruto and all its characters used in this story do not belong to me. The song used below, "Possibility," does not belong to me either, it belongs to BoA & Daichi Miura.
CHAPTER TWO:
(High School is not like the movies.)
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[Possibility]
I saw a dream,
we were always together
for many birthdays piling,
like it wouldn't break.
Baby, now it won't come true, but it's
Never gonna change my love
[BoA feat. 三浦 大知]
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This whole year he had gone by unnoticed, invisible, unimportant. He really wanted to be part of her life, but what was holding him back?
Rejection.
He was scared, believe it or not. Rejection was just something he couldn't handle well. Not since he was a child and his father would continually deny him of attention. Not since his brother would go off, dismissing him from quality time spent together.
And certainly it wouldn't count now. Not by her.
Yet there he was, waiting for her to notice him. She didn't even know who he was.
But she was different.
He never had hope in anything before, not until he saw her. Why was it that she was the only one that affected him? Why couldn't he let go just like all the other times? All he wanted was for her to notice him.
The feelings may be different this time, but who he was… he would never be something he wasn't. So he decided he would continue to watch from a distance.
Because that's what he has always done.
Out of Sync
Run. That was the only thought going through his mind right now. Keep running.
"Sasuke, where are you going?"
"Wait! Sasuke!"
He ignored the calls of his friends as he turned back towards the courtyard. Even though he accepted that they would never be together and that she was too risky to take a chance on, the look in her eyes today was different. He needed to know the truth behind that look. It was as if she was looking at him with a mix of regret, sadness, anger, and... love?
It couldn't end without him knowing for sure. It didn't feel right. He promised himself he wouldn't do this again, but when it came to her, none of it seemed to matter right now. After running through the building and out the doors, he finally arrived back to the courtyard where he last saw her. Looking at the place where she last was with her friends and classmates, he found that it was completely empty.
She was gone.
Sasuke felt a pang in his chest as he continued to stare at the empty spot. Even though he knew it would never work out for them, why was he feeling so much regret at this instance? Why did taking the safe route end up with him feeling like this? It only added to the guilt as the last image he had of her was that look.
He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in. So this was it. This was how the semester would end.
"Sasuke, are you okay?" The bun-headed girl asked though out of breath as she caught up to him.
The long haired boy stopping beside her also questioned, "Why did you suddenly run off like that?"
Sasuke stayed silent as he contemplated what just occurred.
"Sasuke?" the brunette girl kept inquiring.
He shook his head as he turned around to leave, "It's nothing, don't worry about it."
It was lunchtime and Sasuke and his best friend, Tenten, decided to hang out outside in the courtyard. For the past couple of days, ever since the movie incident, Sasuke had been giving clues to the brunette girl about his so called "crush." He was embarrassed, to say the least, that he didn't even know her name. Every time Tenten would bring it up, Sasuke would have no answer because he didn't even know who the pink-haired girl was. It seemed like today was another countless day Tenten would try and pry into his love life.
"So tell me the identity of this girl." Tenten looked at him as she rested her head against her hands. She raised an eyebrow at him as if expecting to finally be told who the mystery girl was.
"No."
"Oh come on! I'm your best friend, we're supposed to talk about these things. You told me about all the times you saw her yet you can't even tell me her name? Stop being so secretive," Tenten scoffed. She hated how he never told her anything. She always had to beg and annoy him until he would finally admit defeat and tell her.
"No."
But it seemed like he wasn't going to give in to her, again.
"Why not? You're such a killjoy."
Sasuke glared, "Hn."
As Tenten began to pout, he noticed a pair of girls across the courtyard. They were talking quite animatedly with each other. One had blonde hair tied up into a ponytail while the other had pink hair that resembled the cherry blossom trees that surrounded them. Upon sight of the pink-haired girl, Sasuke let out a small gasp. He was still embarrassed thinking about the time she had caught him staring at her in front of the school gates.
He could remember it as if it was yesterday. Just thinking about it made him reel in embarrassment all over again.
Sasuke was waiting at the school gates for Itachi, his older brother, to pick him up from school. His brother messaged him that he would be slightly late so in the meantime, he decided to take out a book from his bag. As he leaned against the wall of the school gates, he began to read. A few minutes in, he heard some loud voices that were coming from the entrance of the school.
He tried to block out the noise but he was getting too distracted. He couldn't concentrate with all the yelling and laughing. As he looked up, he saw two girls exit the building. He froze. He couldn't believe his eyes. It was the girl from the movie theater! Ever since that night, he couldn't stop thinking about her even though he knew he would never see her again. She was the perfect description of his ideal type⏤physically of course. Small and petite, beautiful colored eyes, and a very kind smile. Although he never imagined pink hair, the unique color made her even more likeable in his eyes. It reminded him of his late mother's favorite flower: the cherry blossom.
He blinked a couple of times trying to make sure this was real life. He couldn't believe he never noticed that they had went to the same school. How come this was the first time he ever saw her? Sure their school was large but he's pretty sure that after two years, he'd recognized a lot of people at this point.
The shock from seeing her would not leave but he continued to observe her. Not thinking he would be caught, he watched as she said hello to Gaara and talked to her blonde best friend. Completely unaware of his hard stare, her best friend then had a strange look on her face. After something the blonde said, the pink-haired girl looked up and their eyes met. For a split second his breath caught in his throat, but he quickly realized the situation. Completely embarrassed about being caught staring, he closed his book, grabbed his stuff, and ran home. Itachi would later scold him for not telling him ahead of time that he didn't need to be picked up anymore.
"Hello? Sasuke? Hey! Over here!"
"What is it?" Sasuke asked with an annoyed expression. He was trying hard to forget about those two embarrassing incidents, but Tenten had to interrupt him.
The girl gasped in sudden realization, "Oh my god."
"What?"
"It's one of those girls, isn't it?" His eyes widened. How could he be so stupid? He totally gave it away with all the staring. He really needed to stop that because it seemed he was always getting caught.
He tried denying it by saying, "What? No!"
"It totally is! Just tell me already!"
Sasuke looked to the side, not wanting Tenten to see his slightly blushing face. He decided that it would be best just to tell her so she could shut up and finally leave him alone.
He sighed, "Fine, the girl with the pink hair... that's the girl."
"Oh my god, Haruno Sakura?" Tenten stood up from her seat before he could blink. An incredulous expression was present on her face.
"You know her?"
"I had a class with her last year, why? Want me to hook you guys up?" His eyes perked up a bit at the thought but then he quickly dismissed it. He didn't need Tenten interfering. He knew that would just end in disaster.
Sasuke shook his head, "Look, that's not the problem."
"No, the problem is that you're creepy."
"What?"
"Dude, all the times she saw you, she caught you staring at her. She probably thinks you're a creep," Tenten chuckled to herself. She wanted to laugh so badly thinking about how he messed up. When it came to the opposite sex, Sasuke was terrible at talking, approaching, and even being around them. The reason why she was the exception was because she was a childhood friend. They knew each other for too long. She was with Neji anyway.
"No, she doesn't," Sasuke tried to retort, but failed miserably to refute her claims.
"Uh, yeah. Tell me, how creepy is it to walk past a group of people with all of them staring at you? Huh?"
"..."
"And how creepy is it to catch someone staring at you and have that said person run away 'cause they got caught? Huh?"
"..."
"See, it is creepy. Jeez, you finally show interest in a girl and you already lost your chances," Tenten shook her head in fake disappointment. She really loved teasing Sasuke, especially when it came to girls. So many girls had crushes on him, including some of her girl friends, but he was so oblivious. Besides that, his scary persona prevented any girls from actually approaching him. If he just smiled from time to time, maybe Sakura would change her mind about him being a creep. She rolled her eyes thinking of all the chances he could have had in actually having a girlfriend.
"Che. Whatever."
They both stood up from the bench and started walking towards the school. However, he couldn't help but to sneak a quick peek at Sakura. God, she was cute. Though it was quite minuscule, another blush appeared on his pale cheeks. He tried to hide it but probably failed as Sakura's friend from the movie theatre walked past them. Her looks were uncannily like Neji. That must be the cousin Neji was talking about earlier. Something about forgetting his bento box at home.
"Oh, I didn't know Neji's cousin was Sakura's friend. Now you have even more connections, Sasuke. Me and Neji can hook you up with her." Tenten raised her eyebrows up suggestively.
"Oh, shut up already."
Sasuke would always go to the library after school ended. It was just a quiet place where he could think, do homework, and not be bothered so much. Not a lot of people went there anyway, which he liked even more. However, Temari, another best friend of Tenten, decided to join him today and that meant no peace and quiet for him. They weren't really close, but they had a lot of classes together. Honestly, he should have known something would happen. She was just as mischievous as Tenten. He shouldn't have agreed to let her sit at his table.
"Why do you always come here after school?" Temari asked as she tapped her pen up and down on the table.
"I don't know, to study?" Sasuke barked out in frustration. All he wanted to do was finish his homework. Was that too much to ask for?
"Haha, I love the sarcasm," the dirty blonde rolled her eyes.
Their conversation suddenly stopped when Sasuke noticed Temari staring to the right of their table. Sasuke turned his head to look in that direction and choked at the sight. Haruno Sakura was right there. Sasuke turned around quickly to glare at the girl sitting across from him.
"Temari," Sasuke growled lowly as his left eye began to twitch, "staring is considered rude."
"I wasn't staring, just looking." She smiled while twirling her pen around with her fingers.
The boy sighed in defeat, "Okay, what did Tenten tell you?"
"Nothing. Just mentioned a certain cherry blossom." Her smile was almost comparable to the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland.
"God, I swear I can never trust that girl." Sasuke sighed again as he placed his hands over his face.
"Hey, she didn't tell me, you're just way too obvious about it."
"What?"
Her voice suddenly raised in volume, "Well—
"Be quiet," Sasuke gave a whispered shout. A heavy blush appeared on his face as he looked down at the table in embarrassment. He sighed as he grabbed a notebook and pen and started writing. After, he slid the notebook across the table for the girl to read.
Okay I like her. Just don't give it away. I'm planning to talk to her soon.
Temari just giggled in response. She never thought she would see this side of Sasuke. Tenten was right about teasing him. It was definitely amusing.
"Why not talk to her now? I mean, she's here. Wouldn't it be easier?" Temari suggested nonchalantly.
"No, I can't when you're here. You'll stare at us and embarrass me."
The dirty blonde raised an eyebrow at the boy before her.
"It's none of your business anyway."
Temari smirked in response. Let's make it my business then. This will be interesting. The dirty blonde suddenly stood up from the table, pointed her hand in the cherry blossom's direction, and shouted, "She's right there!"
The sudden outburst made Sasuke panic as he looked in the pink-haired girl's direction. Her jade eyes looked upon his in curiosity. Even though it was so embarrassing, he couldn't look away. The color of her eyes were just too beautiful. He had never seen a color like it before. He didn't know how long they were staring at each other, but it seemed like so long.
It wasn't until Neji's cousin arrived did their eye contact break a part. He couldn't explain the spark he felt right then. She looked at him. She actually noticed him. And they looked at each other. He looked up at the smirking blonde before him. He frowned.
"Oh god." A deeper blush, if that was even possible, spread across his face as he laid his head on the table. He didn't want anyone to see him so he hid his face behind his arms. Sakura probably really thought he was a freak now. A creepy freak. Great.
Temari chuckled as she sat back down. She pulled out her phone and decided to email Tenten about the incident.
After Sakura and her friend left, Sasuke received an email message from Tenten that read:
So, movie tomorrow?
Sasuke typed back: Sure.
Oh, can Karin come? I know she wants to see it too.
Sasuke rolled his eyes as he read the message. Not Karin. Now that he thought about it, Tenten was inviting Karin a lot to their hangouts. Sasuke sighed. Whatever, it wasn't like he cared that much anyway.
Hn.
Tenten typed back: I'll take that as a yes then.
Sasuke closed his phone and decided to get back to his homework. He had to remember to never sit with Temari at the library again.
After school ended the next day, he waited outside of the school building where the entrance gates were. It seemed strange that Tenten and Neji weren't there yet since they usually were early. It wasn't like they had any class duties after school anyway. He sighed, impatient as ever. Soon he heard voices approaching.
It was Karin with her group of lackeys following behind her. She had the biggest smile on her face and she was giggling with the girls behind her.
"Sorry guys, I'm going on a date with Sasuke-kun."
"Wait, what?" Sasuke tried to question her about it but she just ignored him as she waved goodbye to her friends.
"I'll see you guys later!"
As soon as they left, the raven-headed boy turned to the redhead. He was not amused at all. Before saying anything, his ringtone went off. He checked his phone and saw that it was an email message from Tenten. Sasuke cursed under his breath. Out of all the times not to show up, they chose this moment.
"Karin, this is not a date."
Karin ignored his short state of anger as she replied, "Sorry, they've been pestering me about going to this group blind date. I told them I already had a date to go to today, and it just so happened that we had plans to hang out." She gave him a wink.
"Hn."
Karin gave a small smile as she brought her arms behind her back, "Besides, it kind of is a date. We're going to see a movie together, which is totally what couples do alone."
Sasuke's mouth began to twitch thinking about the two ditchers. He was so going to yell at Tenten later for this. "That's only because Tenten and Neji had to cancel."
Karin walked faster than turned around and stopped right in front of Sasuke. Sasuke stopped before the girl and glowered down at her. She peered up at him, a victorious smirk present on her face, "But you're still going with me despite that. You could have just told me you didn't want to go yet you didn't."
The boy rolled his eyes, "Che. Whatever."
"Good. Now let's hurry up so we can get good seats."
The brunette burst out in uncontrollable laughter, "You totally fail!"
"What?"
Tenten called him for some homework help and somehow the topic got switched to talking about Sakura. Again.
"Honestly, I'm tired of having to listen and deal with all this crap. All you do is stare at her and yet you do nothing about it." Sasuke rolled his eyes at this. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't like he wanted to sit on the sidelines and do nothing. He just had no idea on how to approach the girl.
He scoffed in reply, "It's none of your business."
"Of course it is! You're my best friend! Instead of doing nothing, why don't you actually try talking to the girl. You had so many opportunities but you waste them because you're too much of a pansy to do anything about it." Okay, Tenten had a point. But he would never admit that she was right.
"I can't, okay? I want to but it's not that easy." He sighed.
"Let's make a deal then." He could practically sense the smirk on her face right now.
He raised an eyebrow. Tenten and deals never turned out good. Whenever Tenten resorted to making deals with him, it would always turn out in her favor. But, like the Uchiha he was, Sasuke would never back down. Hey, maybe this time he would actually be the one in favor in the end.
"You have one more chance to talk to this girl. If you fail, you have to give up on Sakura and give Karin a chance. However, if you succeed, promise me you'll do your best to win Sakura over so you can stop being a wimp who sits on the sidelines."
"Are you serious?"
"Does it seem like I'm kidding?"
"Why Karin?" He refused to act like a child but when it came to Karin, sometimes he could be whiny.
Tenten gave a slight chuckle at his obliviousness. "Isn't it obvious? She totally likes you."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "So what?"
"Instead of chasing after a girl that has no idea who you are, why don't you just look at what's right in front of you? Karin likes you and honestly, you guys are pretty compatible with each other."
Well that got him stumped. He never really thought about it like that, but just because Karin liked him doesn't mean he liked her. Don't get him wrong, she was a nice girl... sort of. And she wasn't exactly terrible to look at. But she was far from his type actually.
"Look, you'll never know unless you try. That's why you either try talking to Sakura or you try giving Karin a chance. That's the deal and I won't take no for an answer."
"Whatever. If this shuts you up then fine."
"I'm holding you to it then." Sasuke sighed as he hung up the phone and tossed it onto his bed. He laid his head on his desk and looked out the window. It was a full moon.
Sasuke turned to stare as the trio of girls left, probably to go to karaoke since Ino was yelling about it. Damn, this was supposed to be his chance! But with her friend's there, he ended up chickening out. It was embarrassing enough to just walk up to her, but if her friends were watching as he tried to talk to her... He rather die than be faced with such embarrassment. Tch. I'm such a fool.
"You completely missed your chance, again," the brunette laughed, amused over her friend's current situation.
"Shut up, Tenten," Sasuke scoffed as he folded his arms in front of his chest. He was trying really hard not to pout because Uchihas never pout.
"She was right across the hall and you missed the opportunity to finally talk to her. You said you were going to but you blew it!" Tenten laughed a bit more before she calmed down. She sort of expected this. Sasuke would never change, and this clearly showed that even his feelings could not sway him.
She smirked, "You know what that means?" Sasuke's body froze. "You have to give up now."
"If you didn't give away the plan I would have done it. But you and your big mouth had to talk so loud." He glared at Tenten though it had no effect on her. After being friends with two ice cubes who glared at everyone and everything, she was practically immune to them.
"Hey, I was whispering!" She put her hands up in defense. She couldn't believe that he was accusing her of his failed initiative to talk to the girl.
Sasuke glared, "That was a whisper? That would have to be the loudest whisper I have ever heard then."
"Oh, shut up, Sasuke. A deal's a deal, so now you have to move on." Things got serious as Tenten glanced cautiously at the boy. Although Sakura was a nice girl, Sasuke was too much of a wimp to do anything about it. It would be better to just forget about the pink-haired girl and move on to someone who he actually had a chance with.
"What?" Sasuke looked at his best friend incredulously. Was she still going on about going out with Karin? He had nothing against Karin, when they hung out together he had little problems with her, but the point was, he liked Sakura.
"Look, it doesn't look like she's interested. Why don't you just give Karin a chance? She's not bad. You didn't even complain that much when you guys hung out together."
First, Tenten told him to try and talk to Sakura and now she says to give up? Yes, they had an agreement and yes, he had several chances to talk with Sakura, but why was she pushing Karin on him? There was still plenty of time left to talk with the cute cherry blossom. It wasn't like she was going anywhere. Sasuke rolled his eyes in annoyance. She probably promised Karin that she would hook them up since Tenten was close friends with the redhead. Of course Tenten would be biased about it.
"You could be great with Karin if you just give her a chance. Honestly, it doesn't look like you'll get anywhere with Sakura. You guys don't even know each other, plus you won't even take the initiative. So instead of brooding about your unrequited love, give love a chance with someone else, ne?"
"Che. Whatever." He started walking away no longer wanting to continue the conversation. Point blank, he found it useless.
Tenten soon caught up and prevented him from moving forward as she stepped in front of him. With a serious gaze, she looked directly into his eyes. "Just think about it."
"Sasuke-kun!" The redhead waved animatedly towards her crush.
"Karin," Sasuke nodded in response.
"So Sasuke-kun... I was thinking we should go out again. Maybe to that new café that just opened a few blocks away from Konoha High. I heard the food was really good and it'll be a lot of fun hanging out again."
As Karin continued to babble, out of the corner of his eye he saw pink. Slightly glancing in that direction, he saw that it was Sakura. She was walking in their direction with a couple of books in her arms. She didn't seem to be paying attention to anything besides the agenda book in her hands. She was probably going over what homework she had to do for tonight.
He decided at that very moment he would take Tenten up on her stupid deal. He needed some sort of confirmation, sign, or message that he should continue pining after her. He was getting anxious about the whole ordeal and just wanted some assurance that he actually had a chance with Sakura. A weird feeling started bubbling up in his chest. He decided that her next action would be what determined their fate.
He didn't know why these thoughts were coming to his head, but he was desperate. If she looked in his direction, he won't give up. All she had to do was look at him. If she looked him in the eye, all these thoughts of moving on would be forgotten. He just needed some sort of sign. Anything at all. The pink-headed girl was soon approaching the pair as she continued looking down at her agenda.
Please look up. Just look at me. LOOK AT ME!
And with a blink of an eye, she swiftly walked passed him without even a glance up to see who it was. Once she passed, he looked back to see if maybe she noticed late and didn't want to be obvious about it. Maybe she was shy? But he was wrong. She continued walking and soon turned the corner out of sight. His presence did not affect her at all.
"So, what do you say? Do you want to go with me, Sasuke-kun?" Sasuke looked back at the redhead, a hopeful gleam in her eyes. Karin was the only girl who really showed her interest in him. She actually noticed him and voiced her feelings. Maybe he should just give her a chance. Their supposed "first date" wasn't bad anyway. He sort of enjoyed it. She was a little annoying, but tolerable.
With a little bit of hesitation, he finally replied, "Aa."
"Great! So I'll just send you a message later on this week and then next week we'll meet each other in front of the school gates and walk there together."
Just like Sasuke had agreed, he went with Karin to the new cafe that the redhead wanted to try out. Ever since the incident with Sakura, Sasuke had been sulking all weekend. He didn't want to seem like a downer with Karin, but too be honest, he really wasn't in the mood for this. Although the cherry blossom didn't reject him⏤he was scared shitless at the thought⏤he felt like it was already rejection. She didn't even know who he was. How awkward would it be to go up to someone and confess your feelings and the other person not having any idea who you are? He cringed at the thought.
"Sasuke-kun?"
"Hn," he answered back not really paying attention. He then kept replaying his conversation with Tenten. It was really annoying him. Why was he making everything so complicated?
Karin blushed as she began fidgeting in her seat. "I want to talk to you about something. I feel like this is the perfect time to bring it up."
Sasuke just nodded so it would seem like he actually cared about what she had to say.
Karin took a deep breath in and closed her eyes. She then started blabbering, "Hanging out with you for the past couple of weeks have been really fun. I hope you also enjoyed our time together as much as I have. I've thought about it a lot for the past couple of days, and I feel like it's time to take action. Truthfully, I like you, Sasuke-kun, and I feel like me and you would be so good together," she opened her eyes, a determined look present on her face as she said, "So Sasuke-kun, please be my boyfriend!"
That no doubt caught his attention. So it's the moment of truth. It was either: yes, Karin, I will be your boyfriend, or no, Karin, I don't like you, I like Sakura and if anyone is going to be my girlfriend, it's her.
The boy looked down at Karin's hopeful face and he knew that he couldn't say no. He already decided he would give up on the pink-haired beauty last week. This seemed like the safer route to take. Karin knew who he was. Karin wouldn't break his heart. But Karin was not Sakura.
Karin frowned at his lack of response, silently scolding herself for her brashness. To make the situation less awkward she began saying, "You don't have to answer me now, I know it's a lot to take in bu—
"Okay."
It was finally time to move on.
Her eyes widened. "W-What?"
"I'll be your boyfriend," he sighed. Maybe Tenten was right all along. Maybe settling for Karin was better in the end.
Relief spread across her face as she smiled brightly at him, "Really?"
He just nodded his head in response.
"You won't regret it, I promise," she smiled even wider. He just nodded his head again and turned to look out the window as Karin continued talking excitedly. Although he agreed that this was for the best, he couldn't help but feel really disappointed. He wasn't strong enough or brave enough to truly go after what he wanted, that was the sad thing about this whole situation. Rejection was scary. Rejection was something he never handled well. Rejection was what he felt right now.
"You want to stop by the park before we head home?"
She tried holding his hand after they had left the cafe but he wouldn't let her. Yes, he was giving Karin a chance but that didn't mean he had to be touchy and affectionate. He wasn't necessarily comfortable with that, especially with her yet.
"Sorry," she apologized shyly as she put her hands back into her jacket pocket.
He sighed, "No, it's fine. We'll take things slow."
They finally arrived at the park when Karin saw some of her friends from school. She ran over to them and started bragging how she finally snagged Sasuke and how she was no longer boyfriend-less. He rolled his eyes. He wasn't really the bragging type⏤although he could be cocky as hell at times⏤but he thought that actions and skill should speak for itself. After a bunch of squealing and giggling, Karin finally waved good-bye to her friends and ran back to Sasuke.
His back was turned so he wasn't expecting the incoming embrace that Karin would force upon him. She grabbed his arm, spun him around, and hugged him like he was about to leave for the army. Her face came close to his ear as she whispered, "I know you want to take things slow but I just want to show my friends I'm not lying. At least it's not a kiss, right?"
He sighed once more as he closed his eyes and returned the hug. All that ended once he heard a scream from the trio of friends behind them.
"Oh gross! Someone dropped eggs on the floor!"
He looked up and he swore he saw a flash of pink.
"Don't tell me you're still looking for her?" Tenten raised an eyebrow in suspicion. Ever since his supposed claim of Sakura seeing him with Karin, he had been paranoid.
"Hn."
Tenten rolled her eyes and stood up from her desk. She glared down at her friend, "You're going out with Karin now! You have to forget about that girl."
"I know that, okay?" Sasuke raised his voice. He didn't want to sound like he was getting defensive, but Tenten sure knew how to bring up topics he just didn't want to discuss. It was always the same thing with this girl. Why couldn't she just leave him alone? He already knew what he had to do and her reinforcement of it wasn't really helping.
Tenten raised her eyebrows in surprise. He never really rose his voice at her before. She sighed, "Sorry, it's just that Karin really likes you. I don't want you to hurt her."
He closed his eyes and rubbed his temple with his left hand. "Look, I'm going out with her because you told me it was a good idea to. These things take time, Tenten, feelings aren't just going to magically appear and disappear just because I want them to."
"Alright, I understand. I wanted this because it'll be good for the both of you. I want nothing more than to see both of my friends be happy. And Sasuke?" Sasuke looked up, glare still intact. But her sad smile made him soften. "You really make Karin happy."
He just nodded in response. But what if he wasn't happy? Did she even care about that? He let out a breath of air.
He wasn't going to lie, he was afraid of seeing her. Word probably spread around and although he knew she probably couldn't care less, he still had hope. It was stupid of him, but feelings couldn't just vanish overnight. Sakura was still the girl he had feelings for.
In some way to cope with this anxiety of being seen, he avoided going to places she would normally be around, especially if Karin was with him.
It wasn't like he was ashamed of Karin. He was just ashamed of himself. He didn't want Sakura to see that he was with someone else. What if she did take interest him? Would she be hurt if she saw him with another girl? Would she give up knowing that he was already taken? Sasuke shook his head. That would never happen. So there were a few times they made eye contact, so what? That was it. He had no basis or assurance that something could have started between them. They've only ever looked at each other.
But what if…
No. He couldn't afford to think like that anymore. Karin was his girlfriend now and he promised himself that he would forget about Sakura so that he could focus on Karin. But an aching pain was still present in his chest. He just wanted to see Sakura's reaction, only once to see that his assumptions were right. That there was nothing between them. But he knew he couldn't. Seeing her would make it harder for him to get over her.
If he really wanted things to work out with Karin, he needed to man up and forget about the girl who never really noticed him. This was the best decision, and who knows, he could end up really happy with Karin and even grow to love her.
Yet even though he already took the first step in moving on, why did he still want a beginning with Sakura?
Sasuke was hanging out at Kidomaru's house for game night after school had ended. He didn't feel like going straight home anyways, not after the tumultuous week he was having with Tenten and Karin and all those confusing thoughts of her.
"You won't believe who I saw the other day!" Kidomaru smirked as he paused the game to stuff some chips in his mouth. Sasuke rolled his eyes at his friend's lack of manners. He unpaused and the game continued.
"Who?" Sasuke answered in a bored tone. They were playing Super Smash on the Wii U.
"I don't know if your mind's jogged with Karin now, but remember that pink haired girl you couldn't stop staring at when we went to the movies a while back?"
Sasuke slightly faltered as his character got hit and sent off the screen. Damn. He was down to one stock now. "Yeah, what about her?"
"She goes to our school! When I saw her in the art room I knew I remembered her from somewhere and thinking about it now, it was clearly the girl you were practically obsessed with."
"I was not obsessed with her!"
Kidomaru chuckled in return. "Haha you know I'm just joking, right? Anyway, too bad for you. Since you're with Karin you won't be able to talk to her. I didn't get a good look at her before at the movies, but I can see why you couldn't look away now that I've seen her face. She's pretty cute despite the weird hair color."
Sasuke didn't reply as he tried to focus more on the game. He tried to maneuver his character out of the way but he kept on racking up damage. He really should use shield more often.
"You know, maybe I should try to talk to her. You think she would go for me?" Sasuke faltered again as he left his character open from the back. Kidomaru smirked as he sent Sasuke's character off the screen once again. "Well, look at that! I won, again."
Sasuke threw the controller on the couch and gathered his things. He had enough of this. He could barely stop thinking about Sakura and his friends kept bringing her up when all he wanted to do was forget. He didn't want to hear about any other guy trying to get with her. He didn't want to feel jealous especially since he was already in a relationship. He didn't want to feel conflicted anymore.
"Hey, what's your problem?" Kidomaru got up from his seat as he watched his friend go to the front door.
"I'm going home."
"Sasuke!" his friend called out but he ignored him. All that was on his mind was getting home. After getting on his bike and riding to his house, he opened the door and was soon greeted by his older brother.
"Okaeri, Otouto. Dinner is ready," Itachi, welcomed him back. He was wearing an apron and had a spatula in his hand as he smiled down at his younger brother.
"I'm not hungry," Sasuke mumbled as he took off his shoes and dragged himself up the stairs to his bedroom.
Itachi blinked in surprise as he stared at the staircase which his brother ascended. He sighed. He may not be home that often because of his work at the police force but when he was, he tried his best to make it feel welcoming.
It had been a while since Sasuke came back home in such a bad mood. He knew he better check up on him. After putting a plate together of food, the older brother went to Sasuke's room and knocked on the door.
"I said I'm not hungry." Itachi could hear through the door.
"I know, but I brought you food anyway. You can always eat it later. You really shouldn't skip any meals."
Sasuke didn't reply. Itachi sighed as he continued to stand in front of his brother's closed door.
"Are you going to tell me what this is really about?"
Still no reply.
"Is this about mom or dad?"
The door finally opened. Sasuke stood there with an indifferent expression but Itachi could read his younger brother better than that. Something was clearly bothering him.
"No, now can you drop it? I really don't want to talk about it," the younger boy dismissed.
"No, I'm not going to let this go. You can't keep bottling things up inside. Look, I don't care how embarrassing or stupid it may be. You know you can tell me anything and I won't judge you for it. I'm here for you and I always will be even with mom and dad gone."
Sasuke sighed, "It's not about them." He opened the door wider to let his brother in. He then went to his bed and fell on top of the sheets.
"Then what is it?" Itachi placed the plate of food on Sasuke's desk and sat down on the chair in front of it.
"How do you decide between the safe route or the risky route?"
"How risky are we talking? Like spending money on blind boxes?"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Not really."
"It really depends if you think it's worth it."
"But what if you're scared by the uncertainty of the result. What if it all turns to shit."
"That's just one of the risks you're gonna have to take with the risky route. It all may go to shit, but at least you tried. I guess it really depends on how much this will cost you. What will you lose by taking the risky route? I mean, taking the safe route isn't bad either." He watched his brother contemplate his words and continued, "I think you just have to weigh out the pros and cons. Honestly, if you're not comfortable taking the risky route, there's nothing wrong with playing it safe. If there's any future opportunities to take the risky route, you can take it then. Just go at your own pace and don't overexert yourself. Do what you feel is right."
Sasuke just nodded his head in return.
Itachi sighed as he went to leave the room. As he stood in the doorway, he turned around and said, "Well, let me know if you need anything else. This decision is clearly weighing on you so I'll leave you to your thoughts. Just know that whatever you do decide, I'll always be here for you to fall back on."
"Thanks, aniki."
For the first time in weeks, he finally saw Sakura at the cafeteria. He decided to go buy some snacks that day for him and Karin. Although he was still feeling unsure about their relationship, he still wanted to try to put in effort, especially with all the things he put her through. He wasn't the best boyfriend, didn't show much affection, but that was only because their relationship just started. He never had a girlfriend before so he was new to the whole dating thing. But although that was only one factor in why he was hesitant, it was more so that he still had feelings for Sakura. So seeing her after a while was really strange.
He could not deny, however, the way his heartbeat raced as she passed him. She was as pretty as ever. He was mesmerized by the look of her soft, pink locks swaying as she walked past. How cute she looked in deep concentration as she was choosing which drink to get. How delicate and small her body appeared in their school uniform. All that was left was to see was the vibrancy of her jade eyes. But she never looked back at him.
He finally decided then that maybe this girl was not worth the risk. She would never notice him. He didn't care anymore if she looked at him, because it wasn't like she was seeing him. All he ever wanted was to be acknowledged, but she would just see another Konoha High student. She would never see him as Sasuke.
He was no one to her.
From then onward, he tried his best to repress and destroy the feelings he once had. It wasn't important anymore.
After a while, he actually was able to forget about her for a bit. Now that he spent most of his time with Karin, it seemed she kept him busy. There was no time to think about Sakura when you already had a girlfriend who was the ideal girl to have. Karin was always happy to see him, always did little things for him, and never put her expectations on him. She accepted him for being, well, Sasuke.
Even though he wasn't completely happy, he was content with her. He found out that Karin really wasn't all that bad and that he actually liked spending time with her. It was already two months into their relationship and all was fine. Feelings started growing and although it wasn't exactly feelings of love, it was good enough for her. It really seemed like everything was turning out great. If only it lasted longer.
"Neji, I'll meet up with you later. I need to talk to Sasuke about something." With a nod from the long haired boy, he left.
"Sasuke—
"Why did she have to look at me that way?" He was downright frustrated. The image of her sad face started clouding up his mind, almost hauntingly. This was not the image he wanted to recall of her.
"What?"
"I swore she looked at me as if she was heartbroken." His eyebrows were scrunched together. He was trying so hard to decipher the feelings behind that look. Could he be wrong? Was something actually there? He never felt so conflicted.
"..."
"Once I actually forget about her, she has to be stupid and stare into my eyes and actually show some sign of reciprocation."
"Sasuke..."
"I'm so tired of this. I have to know what this is, what it all means. I don't want to let her go if—
"You have to." Tenten gave him a stern look. There was no way he was going to throw away what he began with Karin. He was actually becoming happy with the redhead. If he gave that up, he would be foolish. He would just end up getting more hurt if he tried chasing after Sakura.
"If this is about Karin... Tenten, I can't do this anymo—
"I'm sorry."
He looked at her, a puzzled expression evident on his pale face. She actually looked really sincere when apologizing, but why was she saying sorry?
"She's moving." His best friend had a regretful look on her face.
"What?"
"Not only was today the last day of the semester, but also her last day of living in Konoha."
He stood there shocked, still processing what she was telling him. So this was it. He had no way to really find out for sure.
"I'm sorry, Sasuke," Tenten apologized again.
His face was hidden behind his bangs as he clenched his hands into fists. "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"
Tenten turned away and sighed. She wasn't actually going to tell him this until maybe next semester. But he seemed so desperate.
"I only found out recently. Besides, you're with Karin now, and you guys are doing so well. You even forgot about Sakura, too. I just figured you wouldn't even care if she moved away."
He didn't reply as he continued to stare at the ground, spacing out.
"Sasuke?" Tenten turned back around, afraid she said the wrong thing. His dark bangs were covering his face so she couldn't tell if he was angry or not.
"I promised Karin I would meet up with her, so I'll talk to you later."
Tenten hesitated before asking, "Are you going to be alright?"
"I don't know." He walked away, hands in his pockets as he continued to lock his eyes down on the ground.
He didn't want it to end like this, not knowing for sure what that stare could mean. Even despite being with Karin, he knew that at the back of his mind, his hope never wavered. He always assumed that one day things would fall into place: he wouldn't work out with Karin, he would change and finally gather courage, he would talk to Sakura, he would get to know her, he would make her fall for him, and he would finally admit how he truly feels. He thought that one day he would finally be able to work his way towards the risky route, but it was all wishful thinking.
He kicked a dirt rock and watched as it crumbled into pieces as it skipped across the ground.
It's over. I never had a chance with her and I never will have one.
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[Possibility]
If it's not you, it's meaningless.
[BoA feat. 三浦 大知]
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End: (High School is not like the movies.)
Just to be clear, it was very difficult writing the SasuKarin parts. Again, it's not a ship that I'm fond of, but I needed it as part of the story! The next chapter shall be the last chapter. Thanks for reading!
Reviews are appreciated.
~momo