Favorite Line(s):
"And it was funny, too . . . right around the time when Tessa stepped into his life, was the day that Daryl began dreaming again.
From the day she first met him, Tessa Nightrun knew that Daryl Dixon would be hers, and likewise, the day he first met her, Daryl Dixon knew that Tessa Nightrun would be his.
Always the loner in school – always known as the infamous Merle Dixon's little brother and the alcoholic, philandering Will Dixon's youngest son; he was treated as little more than trash underneath the squeaky clean shoes of the teachers. He blamed his piss-poor grades on the asshole teachers not giving him a chance and his bad attitude because he was misunderstood and because his father would light into him whenever the old man was angry or just didn't like the way his face looked that day. The other kids hated him and the majority of his school day was spent smoking cigarettes and joints in the boy's locker-room with his other loner friends. He counted down the days until he could drop out like Merle did but until then, it was a constant Hell.
Until . . . she came . . .
He remembered the way Tessa Nightrun looked on that first day of his senior year, like it was yesterday. It had been the first day of her junior year, and her long, blue black hair had been pulled into two perfect braids, one falling over each shoulder. Her big brown bambi eyes twinkled in the bright, florescent lights of the school hallways and classrooms and everyone seemed to immediately like her and her sparkling smile. She wore moccasins every day, as well as that same carved wooden amulet that she claimed had been an heirloom from her grandmother – another full-blooded Cherokee who had grown up on a reservation somewhere out west but who had never let go of her heritage. She loved bright colors – pinks, blues, reds – anything that would make her flawless and beautiful mocha colored skin shine.
The first time he saw Tessa, Daryl remembered thinking that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen before in his life – even prettier than Cindy Crawford or Stephanie Seymour (Merle like Cindy, Daryl had a preference for Stephanie). Whenever he stood before her, he felt like a peasant before a Queen, for how could someone so beautiful and so good ever want to have anything to do with a fuckin' Dixon? They were the resident white trash of Shooter's Mill and he had grown up hearing from both his mother and his father that he was nothing more than redneck white trash and that no woman of good standing and beauty would ever want to be with him – that he was doomed to marry a woman similar to his and Merle's own mother – the town bicycle. He had grown up hearing that he was ugly – that he was weak and useless . . . he had grown up with beer bottles exploding over his head as something as natural as breathing.
Merle had escaped through the Juvenal system – Daryl didn't have such luxuries.
But then, the day before he decided he would drop out, the strangest thing happened . . . Tessa noticed him. He wasn't worthy of her by a long shot but yet, for some reason, she had her eyes on him - him, the redneck Dixon that wore nothing but flannel and jeans and worn leather work boots while she wore Gap and Calvin Klein. She laughed at his lame jokes and was patient through his tirades and his mood swings. She was there for him when his father's slaps became too bruising or when the glass from the beer bottles cut too deeply.
Not only had Tessa been the one who got him to finish highschool and get his GED, but she had also been his first in everything. She had been his first ever real friend, his first fuck, the first woman he had ever gone down on . . . his first ever palms sweaty, nervous, adolescent-like love that made his heart die a little death every time he saw her walking towards him – her eyes seeing him and only him in a crowded room. . .
And all those reasons that Daryl thought made him not worthy of her, were the very things that had attracted her to him in the first place. She loved the soul-tearing honesty of his beautiful blue eyes and the way that, despite his self-esteem issues, he could also be cocky and confident in his own way. She loved his roughness and that, despite all his anger and the physical abuse that he had suffered, that he still possessed a heart as big and as golden as anyone else she had ever met.
The first night they had kissed – that they made love (it was a night of many firsts, in fact) – was the day that Daryl finally graduated from highschool. Beaming and proud of himself for the first time in years, he remembered her excitement as she ran into his arms after the ceremony. She had planted one of the biggest kisses that he had ever received on his lips, and kissed him with such a heated vigor that it almost made his knees weak. They broke apart, not because they wanted to, but because the amused sound of Daryl's uncle Jess and his aunt Rebecca clearing their throats from behind her, reminded them that they were not alone.
His uncle Jess, aunt Rebecca and Tessa had been the only ones who had bothered to come to his graduation. His mother had been dead for little over a decade by then, Merle was locked up and his father was on a bender with some waitress he met at the local bar. But really, as he stood there and thought about it, with his arm looped around Tessa's waist, he realized that there would have been no three other people on earth that he would have wanted there more, than Tessa, his uncle Jess and aunt Rebecca.
And it was then, through the excited yells of his classmates busy taking pictures with their families and yelling at each other to keep in touch, that Tessa stood up on her tiptoes, placed her lips at Daryl's ear and whispered,
"Tonight . . . tonight, I want you to take me to the stars, so I can feel even remotely what you're feeling like now!"
Daryl almost shit his pants when he heard those words and could only nod numbly in lieu of a spoken reply. As an excited, yet slightly shy grin spread across her features, Daryl realized that he didn't want to treat this encounter as any other guy would. This was Tessa - this was the one girl that made him short of breath and feel as awkward as a hormonal, pre-teen boy whenever he was around her. And it was at that moment, as he whispered back that he would gladly take her to the stars that night, that he knew he was going to do everything in his power to make it a moment she would never forget.
Later that afternoon and before nightfall, he had managed to drag one of the old mattresses into the barn, somehow lug the big bastard up into the hayloft and then procure (well, more like stole) one of his old man's best bottles of Maker's Mark, as well as a few candles from the kitchen cupboard and relatively clean sheets. He wanted the entire thing to be perfect and as soon as he saw her eyes – wet with tears when she stepped up into the candle-lit hayloft (his old man had tanned his hide afterwards, by the way, roaring at him as he punched his lights out, on how stupid he was to have lit candles in the hayloft when it could very well catch on fire – and all for a piece of pussy too!) he knew it had been beyond perfect.
But with Tessa, it seemed everything in his life was turning into something perfect before his very eyes – something he could only dream about in his wildest of dreams. And when she had slowly pulled down the straps of her dress to bare her nudity to him for the first time - the thin summer clothe falling to pool around her feet and which caused his heart to thrum like a wire in his chest - he knew with every ounce of conviction in his body, that he had found his heaven – that he had found his perfection made flesh.
And it was funny, too . . . right around when Tessa stepped into his life, was the day Daryl began dreaming again.
Daryl stirred in his sleep, a movement that had him unconsciously pressing himself more firmly against the warm body beside him. Tessa's nails were running along the taut skin of his arms as they pulled her closer – to better press their naked bodies together. It was absolutely silent in the barn that night, with only the rhythmic songs of the crickets and cicadas keeping them company outside. Minds still fuzzy from the Makers Mark (of which only a fourth of the bottle was still left) Tessa closed her eyes. She could feel his chest rise and fall as his warm breath danced across the back of her neck and she couldn't help but smile as she rolled over to face him. Her movement awoke him and he quickly greeted her with a soft kiss and callused palms flattening out on her back as his arms wrapped around her.
"Are ya alright?" He asked her softly and a little worriedly, his voice coming out low and quiet. Their bodies were still pressed tightly together – so tight that she could feel him reach down between her legs and cup her sex.
Tessa smiled as the mixture of her arousal and his climax coated his fingers. There was a dull ache and a slight tingling between her legs, but she had never felt better. "I am – thank you!" She replied simply, the dopey smile on her face reassuring Daryl more so than anything else she could have possibly said. He chuckled as his hands began to run up and down her back then.
He pressed his lips against hers, an action that earned him a delicate moan from the back of her throat before their lips parted and Daryl pressed his forehead against Tessa's. "I'm sorry if ya first time with me wasn' . . . as ya expected . . ."
Tessa's eyes fluttered open and she trailed gentle fingers down his strong jaw line, noting the self-doubt that was evident in his eyes. There were times when she could kill his father and his mother for treating him like they did for as long as they did. Such a handsome, cocky guy like Daryl Dixon shouldn't have been carrying such low self-esteem as he did. "You were perfect, Daryl! I wouldn't have wanted my first time to be with anyone else!"
Daryl's lips curled into a small smile and his cheeks flushed. "Really . . .?"
She nodded as she planted a kiss on his neck. Daryl let out a low groan as the kiss turned into a suck and then a nibble. He pressed his hips toward her while bringing her closer to him, and she began to lovingly lick the mark she'd left on his neck. Daryl quickly stopped her by gently grasping her chin. He looked deep into her eyes before moving to assault her lips with his. Tessa kissed him back, knowing that she couldn't get enough of him - his taste, his scent - it was all so intoxicating and addicting, like her own personal drug made flesh.
Their tongues moving together, Daryl placed a warm, callused hand on her chest. As they parted to catch their breaths, Daryl felt her heart beating underneath his hand – strong and rhythmic. He watched her chest rise and fall for a while before looking back up at her to find she had been keenly watching him. Tessa smiled sleepily and placed her hand over his.
"I'm glad ya were ma first too, Tess . . ." Daryl confessed in a voice barely above a whisper. "I love ya so much!"
"I love you too Daryl . . . I always will . . .!"
Daryl tore himself awake that morning with a sharp intake of breath and with his heart pounding an aching tattoo against his chest. He found himself clinging to the dream with every ounce of energy he had, but like every dream, it was futile. He forgot the fine details as quickly as they had come and by the time he sat up and rubbed his face with his hands, he was in as bad a mood and as exhausted as he was he first went to sleep.
He heard heavy footfalls moving towards his tent, crunching on the fallen leaves of the forest, and looked up expectantly as the tent flap unzipped, revealing Rick. Daryl let out a sound of irritation as he rubbed the sleep from one of his eyes with the heel of his hand. "No offense Officer, but ya face isn' exactly tha one I would have chosen to wake up to!" Rick chuckled.
"Just thought I'd let you know that we're moving off in twenty." Daryl furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.
"Why? Isn' here good enough?" Rick shrugged.
"I suppose, but I still get a bad vibe from this place ever since the attack. Dale mentioned a much more isolated spot further up the quarry. We think it'll be better there and it'll only be for a short time – while we figure out what to do from there." Daryl nodded and shrugged.
"Well, don' see why ya need ma permission. It's not like I'm gonna pop up one day and jus' leave." Rick smiled a small smile and shrugged.
"I figured you would be less inclined to now that Tessa and Ethan are here. Either way, though, I thought you should still know." Daryl nodded and gave him a slightly wary 'thanks' as Rick got to his feet and headed back to the others who were busy getting their things packed up. He was getting kinda tired of everyone looping him, Tessa and the kid together in a group. He hadn't been with Tessa in thirteen years and hardly knew the kid aside from the fact that he was an insanely good shot. How could they possibly be classified as one unit if those things were taken into consideration?
Daryl shook his head and pulled on his boots before stepping out of the tent to the much too cheery outside world. He stretched, his hands reaching for the sky and his back popped in a very satisfactory manner.
He saw Tessa moving around helping Carol and Andrea collect the laundry off of the clotheslines on the opposite sides of the sides of the camp. It seemed already Tessa was fitting in well – exactly how she had fitted in so effortlessly in highschool. Ethan seemed to be lingering on the outskirts of the camp, although he did seem to take a liking to Glenn opposed to Carl, who was more his age. Daryl couldn't help but crack a smile at this. It figured that his son would be drawn to Short Round and not the ever-so-slightly annoying kid.
Tessa looked up and for the briefest of seconds, their eyes connected across the way and he could have sworn that she knew what he had dreamed about. He didn't know who broke the gaze first, but when they did, they both went off their separate ways, not even sparing each other a good morning. He moved off to pack his things but stopped when he saw Shane move up to talk to Tessa. Blue black hair shining in the bright morning sunlight, it would have taken a complete dumbass not to know that Shane was trying to pick her up.
His hands tightened into fists and his jaw hardened but he relaxed slightly when he saw Tessa take a small step away from him and smile graciously as she gestured to Daryl. Shane shot him a look at him before saying something to her and stalking off. She looked back over her shoulder to him and she smiled a small smile before unclipping one last towel from the clothesline and moving off in the direction of the Winnebago.
Daryl knew what she had told Shane to get off her back – that they were together again – that she was taken. He knew it was a lie and while a part of him wanted dearly to believe it was true, another – the Merle side - snarled, 'Good riddance.'
"You know, he's quite a handsome boy . . ."
Tessa adopted a look of questioning interest on her face as she glanced up at Carol standing across from her on the other side of the line. They were both undoing the laundry hanging out on the clothesline to dry and the older woman glanced at her, where she smiled a small smile. "Your son, I mean. He's quite the handsome boy." She told her, and Tessa laughed and nodded as she tucked a folded towel into a basket fitted snugly against her hip.
"I tell everyone that he got his good looks from his daddy – that it had nothing to do with me what-so-ever!" She grinned with a light laugh, a laugh that Andrea mimicked while Carol simply nodded. Her eyes darted to Daryl as he climbed out of his tent on the other side of the camp before moving back onto the towel she was busy unclipping from the clothesline.
"Daryl's a good man, I think. He has his code, but he's a good man, nonetheless." Tessa continued to grin as she laughed.
"Daryl has always been a good man, but he's always been really, really curious – to the point to where he has developed the extremely bad habit of never being able to avoid a conflict!" She gave Carol and Andrea a playfully exasperated look as she spoke, a look that both women returned with a light laugh.
"I mean, no offense, Tessa, but I find it so hard to believe that you used to . . ." A look of slight disgust appeared on her face then, one that Tessa found herself grinning at. "Be with Daryl Dixon of all men!" Tessa chuckled.
"Well, I can tell you ladies that a long time ago he was a lot less crass than I'm sure he is now!"
"Probably Merle's influence . . ." Andrea muttered, a little bitterly, and Tessa nodded.
"Oh I'd bet my last dollar on it! He always did put an unnecessary amount of hero worship into that pig of an older brother of his and I suppose when I left, he had no one else to go to . . ." She trailed off then and Carol noticed, for she pinned the beautiful woman with a curious look.
"Your relationship ended badly?" She asked, and Tessa's lips pursed slightly as she turned her head to connect eyes with Daryl. They locked eyes and for just a moment, she thought she could see the cocky yet completely sweet teenage Daryl that she had known on the night of his highschool graduation, standing there. But then it was gone, replaced by the surly, angry one she knew now, and she tore her eyes away from his and rededicated them to the laundry.
"You could say that . . ." She replied, her voice terse. When Lori called for Andrea to come and help them pack up some things into the Winnebago, Andrea bid them a polite 'excuse me' before she picked up her laundry basket and headed in the general direction of the Winnebago, leaving Tessa alone with Carol.
Tessa sensed Carol's movements slow and felt it too as heavy footfalls approached her. The footfalls didn't sound like Rick's and were much too heavy and burdensome for Daryl's hunter-light steps. When she looked up and saw Shane smiling down at her from beside her, all she could do was smile a small smile.
"Good morning, Tessa; how was your night?" He asked, and Tessa nodded as she folded up one of Carl's shirts and placed it in her basket.
"Good. I thank you for allowing me and Ethan to sleep in the Winnebago last night, I know you didn't have to." Shane waved her words aside.
"Ah, don't thank me – it's Dale's Winnebago, after all, so he's the one you should be thanking!" Tessa nodded and smiled a tight, almost uncomfortable smile as she continued on with her work. She glanced at Carol and the woman shot her a weak smile as she too carried on with her work. From the moment she was introduced to him, Tessa immediately received a bad vibe from Rick's best friend. She didn't know exactly what it was, but a part of her screamed never to trust him and to constantly hold him at arm's length.
She could feel eyes boring into her back and knew that they were Daryl's. Only he would take particular notice of Shane talking to her.
"So . . . you and Daryl was an, uh . . . an item back in the day, huh?"
Tessa froze briefly and she saw Carol do the same out of the corner of her eye. She quickly recovered herself, however, and smiled a small smile. She nodded as she glanced up at him. "Yeah we were. Why?" She asked with what she hoped was genuine curiosity, only to see Shane flush slightly. Tessa had grown up knowing of her beauty but always found it irritating when men would act like Shane talking to her – dumbfounded and awkward. With Daryl, the awkwardness had been endearing because he was someone who wasn't well known for his girlfriends or suaveness. With Shane, however, who practically oozed the aura of 'playboy', it was simply just irritating because quite clearly it was a ploy.
He shrugged as he gingerly rubbed the back of his neck. "It's just that . . . Daryl didn't seem too happy to see you and . . ."
"Well, I won't lie to you Shane - we did end things badly back then, before Ethan was born," She sighed as she folded another shirt, taking a small step backwards from him as she went. "But when we talked last night, we decided to give things another go – for old time's sake and for the sake of our son. This new life is so hard, you know? Sometimes all you want is some stability from the past and I guess we can offer that to each other." In a look that she hoped was full of puppy love enough to deceive him, she gazed over her shoulder at Daryl again, where she gestured to him. She saw him tense slightly but he continued on with what he was doing, nonetheless. "I expect that I'll be sharing a tent with him soon enough – that way I won't be imposing too much on Dale and Andrea." Shane nodded and shot Daryl a slightly dirty look before he shot her a tense smile and a nod. He stalked off then, and Tessa could hear the laugh in Carol's voice when she spoke:
"Honey, if anyone deserved an Oscar for a performance, it is you!" She remarked, and Tessa laughed as she looked back over her shoulder at Daryl. She smiled a small smile before she unclipped one last towel from the clothesline.
"Well, Carol, when one spends a fair amount of time around the likes of Merle Dixon, one learns to become a very skilled actress!"