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A.N – Thank you guys so much! The amount of love and interest you guys have shown this story surpassed my wildest expectations and I'm completely overjoyed. I know it's only been a week, but I finished this chapter on Monday, and today is my birthday so I thought I'd give myself a little birthday present by updating! Sidenote: I don't have a beta so sorry for any mistakes! :)

To aholden50, bellbee24, Kesi Malfoy, MageVicky, nurseKay, Cacau Black, xXElite WolfXx, corkykellems, 1sunfun, 4Gracie04, Debbie Hicks, paige3337, mrslisablack, deadliestdistractionRN, Pier, simbacurls, , YaleAceBella12: Thank you guys from the bottom of my heart! Seriously, your interest and encouragement makes me all warm and giddy inside. Hopefully this chapter will live up to your expectations!

To all who followed, favorited, and/or read silently: I feel the love, and thanks for reading!

/Things can get ugly, but we're still a team;

We are an army that breaks from within

But that's why we're stronger, and that's how we'll win/

—Bloodsport, Raleigh Ritchie

Chapter 2 – The Power of Hope

It took me all of twenty-four hours to realize that wolves were all about touch. I tried to control the instinct to go around touching the pack, and everyone else in the tribe I came in contact with.

It was the strangest fucking thing, stranger than even phasing, frankly. It was just—weird. But it was also useful. Touching was a quick and easy way to calm someone down when tempers flared, or they got too rowdy.

And tempers flared a lot. A week and a half after I first phased and it was still a constant battle to get everyone to just relax; one minute everyone was smiling, and a comment later someone was at someone else's throat, literally.

It didn't help that I was on edge, practically itching to see Bella. I knew I couldn't, shouldn't, not yet anyway. But knowing didn't stop me from wanting and it didn't stop her from calling.

"How much longer are you supposed to have mono?" Billy raised an eyebrow as the phone rang behind us.

Everything from his tone of voice to his facial expression made me grind my teeth. My body practically trembled with the effort to keep myself contained. Together. Relaxed.

"I'll have mono as long as I need to have it."

He went to respond but the door swung open and Embry and Jared walked in, eyes taking in everything at a glance.

"We switched off with Paul and Sam," Embry informed me casually as he touched my shoulder and passed me by on his way to the couch.

"Yeah, and Paul was being extra douche-y, so heads up with that," Jared made a face as he punched my arm casually, just as casual as Embry-but my arm shot out quickly and my hand grasped him by the scruff of his neck. It was reflex, and a complete overreaction, but a growl surged through my chest. Jared's eyes widened for a second, but I was already relaxing my hold.

Breathe, breathe, I reminded myself.

"You're treading mud inside," I playfully pushed him away by the neck.

Billy rolled his eyes in the background, but his shoulders were tense. We were all trying to pretend that everything was okay, the same as always, when it wasn't. But no one knew what else to do, and frankly, I was too tired to not pretend.

The phone rang, but no one went to pick it up; we all knew who it would be. My gut clenched-it felt wrong to ignore Bella, but just the fact that my hand started to shake reminded me why I had to stay away.

"You'll have to deal with her eventually," Billy continued where they left off.

"I know that," I sighed harshly. Fuck, I was done with this conversation. Missing Bella was hard. Harder than I thought it could be. "But I'll decide when it's time to deal with that problem."

Embry sat on the couch, and shook his head. "Only you would be in a situation where a girl desperate to hang out with you is a problem."

I nodded, and couldn't help but smile ironically, because he was right: only me.

The best thing about being a wolf was the way the earth felt beneath my feet. Sometimes it was like I was flying, like the ground was transforming underneath me.

The worst thing about being a wolf was being an alpha. If I'd have known all the shit that came with it, I would've fought the urge, the instinct to dominate harder. I would've done something, anything to not be what I was.

The responsibility was suffocating at times, and all I had was an image of Bella to calm me down or set me off depending on how much I missed her in the moment.

Now that it was two weeks, I finally realized why Sam had apologized, and damn right he should be sorry.

That fucker-I was expected to be father and mother to everyone.

Embry needed a hug because his mom refused to give him a straight answer about his father? I had to give him a manly pat-there was no way we were hugging it out unless someone was hurt or dead. But it wasn't an emotional duty, I literally had to console him.

My bones would itch, and my heart would pound in my chest painfully until I did. It was like my entire body knew that he needed to be consoled, and my instincts wouldn't let me rest.

Jared needed an ear to listen to his fears about imprinting changing him? I had to be that ear, willing to not say anything, and just be there. What I needed was to get a decent night's sleep, but that didn't matter.

Sometimes it would wake me up in the middle of the night, the sensation that he needed to talk to someone.

It was annoying and inconvenient, but on nights like tonight, I was grateful that I always knew when one of my pack needed me.

"You don't need to be here," Paul spit blood onto the sidewalk. It was strange, to see him so humbled. I didn't like it and everything in me wouldn't stand for it.

"Who did this to you?"

The words were to give him a sense of control; I already knew and the rage was building up inside me. I was a volcano, and my wolf was rolling in the lava, letting it sink into the flesh underneath the fur. Hate came easy to me these days. Hell, maybe it always had and I just never noticed.

"I can handle this," Paul snarled.

I invaded his space in a second, my hand holding him in place by the back of his neck just like Jared. But this time it wasn't followed by playful push.

My forehead touched his, and I snarled right back, "You don't ever talk to me that way."

There was no pretending anymore. Not tonight. Not when there was blood all over the side of his face and neck where there had to have been a wound.

I didn't care that it had healed, probably in seconds. It had been there. Someone had hurt one of my pack. And I really should've been focused on that, but I was already focusing everything I had on keeping my body from trembling.

Now really wasn't the time for a power trip, but there were too many emotions rolling through me. Too many shades of rage grappling for my attention.

Paul didn't apologize but he looked away, baring his neck at me slightly. It was enough. Paul's pride was a mountain, and it had already been attacked that night. I understood that. My pride was made of the same thing as his.

"Who did this to you?" I repeated, my forehead leaning heavily against his.

This was too close for comfort, but we both needed to feel each other, feel the safety in leaning on each other, feel the safety in pack.

I wanted him to tell me, even though he already knew that I knew, because it was like permission to do something about the situation; I didn't want to invade his life and make decisions without his consent; I didn't want to be Sam when I was still learning how to be Jacob.

"My dad," Paul whispered.

His voice trembled against the wind, and my body knew he needed control, authority, violence. He needed to soak in the blood of his enemies, but I couldn't summon enemies on a whim.

I couldn't give him what he needed, and I felt like such a fucking failure, man. All of this was so messed up, too messed up sometimes. So, I let him go and took a step back.

"Go sleep in Rachel and Rebecca's old room. I'll wake you up for patrol in a few hours."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

It was the honest truth, too. Every party of me wanted to attack Paul's dad, bathe in his blood, inhale his essence until his fury and fear created a cocktail of vindication inside of me. But I wasn't sure I was ready to give in to the wolf that much. I wasn't sure I'd ever be ready.

The phone rang again as I walked into the house from patrol, but after the emotional rollercoaster with Paul last night, I didn't have it in me to ignore Bella.

"Hey," I said lamely. I wanted to be suave but I didn't know how, and I was too tired to really try.

"Jacob!" Bella's voice was honey and lightening in my ears.

My hand started to tremble from missing her so much, but, fuck, I just gotta breathe through it. But breathing while talking to Bella had always been a problem for me. Apparently being alpha didn't change that. I'm pretty sure it just made it worse.

"I'm so glad you picked up! I was two seconds away from going down there and forcing my way passed Billy," she joked, but I could hear the tinge of honesty.

She'd been ready to fight for me. A slow smile spread across my face; my chest felt warm; my heart felt like it was buckling and bursting.

"I would've paid to see you go toe to toe with the old man- are you sure you don't want to come down here and go with your original plan?"

It was easy teasing her. Normal. But nothing was normal anymore, and I couldn't forget that.

"I'll be there in 20-" she shuffled over the phone. I didn't want to seem harsh, but before I could think it through I snapped, "No."

The silence overwhelmed us and I wasn't sure how to fix it.

"Bella…" her name dropped from my lips like a prayer. Fuck, I missed her so much.

"What's wrong, Jacob?" her voice was tight, tense, concerned, innocent.

But she had ran with vampires. She had fallen in love with my enemies. She couldn't be that innocent—the thought tore at me.

"Jacob, talk to me," she pleaded and I didn't know what to say.

How do I tell her that the desire to see her consumed me so much that I was afraid to see her? How do I explain that her voice brought hope when I thought I was drowning? How could I tell her that hope was probably the most dangerous thing in the whole world?

"We can't see each other right now," I sighed bitterly.

"You're not sick!" Bella called me out on the lie. I should've lied again, stuck with the lie all the way to the grave, but I was drugged by the sensation her voice caused in me.

It was a bitter peace that I wasn't sure how to deal with.

"No, I'm not." I could feel her frown through the phone. Her face was imprinted in my mind and I knew exactly what I was afraid of.

"Then why don't you want to see me?"

Her tearful voice was acid in my lungs; I felt like such a douchebag.

It wasn't the wolf. The wolf was fury and dominance and fire. The heat of the wolf consumed me, intoxicated me with the rush of power.

Power tasted like pleasure and sin: savory, juicy, and whiskey, slow burning in my chest

No, my fear took the form of Sam and Emily, Jared and Kim-his new imprint.

Imprints. Imprinting. Invisible chains that ripped at the very fabric of who people are.

What if I imprinted on Bella? What if I didn't? My breaths grew short in panic. I didn't want my choice, my feelings hijacked. But imprinting also vindicated my emotions, all the effort and pushing that I had done.

I was hurting her because I was selfish and afraid of whatever truth I would find in her eyes. Shit, maybe I wouldn't find any truth at all, which might be even worse.

Then why don't you want to see me?

"Come over," I blurted out.

I wasn't sorry either. I wasn't a coward, not before I phased and sure as shit not afterwards. I knew I wouldn't hurt her, and whatever the outcome…well, it would be what it would be, and hiding from her wasn't going to change that.

"Did you turn bipolar while you 'had mono'?" Bella said acerbically, though I could practically feel the way she bit her lip on the other end of the line, the way she quirked an eyebrow—fuck, just picturing her made me want to groan in pain of the best kind.

"No, I just—" my eyes went to Sam who walked through the door. He was living proof that looking a girl in the eyes can change everything. "I want you to come over, but I need you to know something before you come."

Sam inhaled sharply. I could see the wheels turning in his head, and what he thought I was going to do. Bella already knew about vampires, we assumed considering she'd been dating the leech for months, so it wasn't a far stretch to werewolves.

He didn't try to stop me though, and his gaze was an anvil on my back, breaking everything that kept me upright, leaving me bare. But this was my beta, my right hand, though we were still testing the limits of that bond. Nonetheless, he didn't say a word because he had an automatic trust in me that was unfathomable and downright ridiculous.

The entire pack trusted me implicitly, so much so, that I was pretty sure they were all fucking crazy, but that didn't change the fact that I had their blind trust and loyalty; this knowledge didn't make the decision any easier.

"Jacob? What do you need me to know?" Bella repeated for the second time. I hadn't noticed, too busy trying to form whatever words would bring me peace, some kind of salvation.

I love you, but I couldn't say that. I love you without an imprint, without any magic or supernatural interruption. It didn't matter that those words were real, that this feeling was real, that this was what I honestly wanted to say and fuck the rest. Because it was too much, too soon, and neither of us were ready for the bombshell explosion of what-now? we'd have to deal with.

Instead, I tried for the closest thing to the truth. "No matter what happens when you get here, no matter what, Bella, you are my vision of love."

"What?" she whispered, and I knew she was trying to fit everything together like a jigsaw puzzle.

"I know it's heavy and really too damn early in the day for these kinds of talks, but I just need you to know, even if we never speak again after today, you're my vision of love."

"Jacob—"

I didn't want to hear her deny my feelings, or her own—whatever they were. Whatever we were, that didn't change that I loved her, and when I thought about love, when those echoes of love filtered through Sam into the pack, I didn't see what he saw; I saw Bella.

"Just come," I interrupted softly. Sam hadn't moved closer, and I didn't need him to. We were kindred, connected like only brothers and pack could be. "Come over."

"O—okay," she said gently, but she didn't hang up and I knew she wasn't finished. We breathed together over the line, silent, taking in the peace, the tension, the anxiety that threatened to overwhelm us. "I'll see you soon."

She hung up and left me with a feeling of discontent. I knew that she'd had more to say, but maybe over the phone was a shitty time and place to say any of it. I was such a fucking idiot—

"What are you going to do if you don't imprint?" Sam walked fully into the room. His eyes were compassionate, and I thought that maybe he was the only person who truly understood the fear and hope that simultaneously attacked me.

I shrugged, "What can I do? If I don't imprint, then we're not meant to be, I guess. If I don't, then I guess I was wrong all along."

"Don't do that, Jacob," Sam put a hand on my shoulder, but I didn't feel my body shake or the rage that was so deliciously foreign crescent inside of me. No, he was my beta, and he was being my beta. My rock, and after the two weeks I've had, I really needed someone to be my shoulder to cry on. He continued, the warmth of his hand soothing the need for connection and pack that I always felt. "The gods may have decided that Emily is the perfect fit for me, and they were right. Emily is what I need now. But that doesn't mean that I wouldn't have chosen to stay with Leah if I'd had a choice. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't choose to be with Leah now if I had a choice, because choice matters. We may not have been a perfect fit, but I was okay with our imperfections…if the spirits decide that Bella is your imprint, then you're a luckier guy than me, but if they don't, it shouldn't change a thing. Not if your feelings are genuine."

"And if I imprint someday?"

Now it was Sam's turn to shrug. "If you imprint on someone else, well, you're alpha, aren't you? Be the alpha that you are and shake it off. If anyone can, it's you."

It was such a simple answer that I couldn't help but grin and shake my head. Who'd have thought I'd see the day that Samuel Uley was stroking my ego. But he was also right.

I wasn't born to fucking obey ever, I'd thought the day I became alpha, and it was still true.

Imprinting was no different. It couldn't be. Not when the rage and power inside of me felt like seduction and inferno—a blaze so great that it could bring the world to its knees if I let it, let alone a fucking imprint.

"Thanks, Sam." I meant it—the desire to phase, to rip and kill that had come in a wave all week felt settled somehow.

"No problem," he stepped away and went to my fridge. I was really going to need to take on more cars to fix if I was going to have the pack strolling in and out of my house to raid my fridge. Sam grabbed an apple. "Honestly, I thought you were mad at me."

"I was, and you damn well know why," I deadpanned. It was true, and irrational at the same time to have expected him to have fought harder against me when he couldn't have fought harder. But fuck it, it was how I felt. He understood though, nodded, bit into the apple, and strolled out the door the same way he had come in.

I shook my head again, and realized, maybe we were all jigsaw puzzle pieces, learning to fit together.

Bella arrived eight minutes after Sam had left. I wasn't surprised, but I was impressed. I didn't know that the old girl could drive that fast—a twenty minute trip boiled down to ten. She probably broke something going so fast on the road, and I realized I'd probably need to check it before she left.

Another thing to add to my list, and bitterness congregated in my throat.

But the bitterness didn't last, couldn't last, because Bella hopped out the truck, stumbled a bit, and righted herself determinedly; she was strong when she wanted to be, and it was so fucking beautiful that it honestly stole my breath.

She left me breathless.

All I could do was stare at her from where I stood, leaning against the porch railing. My eyes pierced hers as she walked over, and we were like we always were. Talking without words, existing easily, like the best of friends, and the greatest would-be-lovers-if-only.

"You cut your hair," she noted quietly. I could tell that she was worried and anxious, but my hands started to shake again.

Breathe, breathe.

But breathing was the least of my worries as she came so close that her chest almost brushed against mine, and her hand lifted, her elegant fingers ran through my hair. My body flushed with desire, and I could barely bite back a moan.

Her fragrance was sweet and sour, which should've been strange at best and fucking appalling at worst, but she was Bella. She was Bella and my vision of love and the sourness of sadness and despair that clung to her like a skin tight dress was just another part of that vision.

I wanted her no matter what.

"Bella," my hand curled around her neck, but unlike with Jared and Paul, it trembled in barely unconcealed desire, and what the fuck is wrong with me?

"You got a tattoo?" she raise her other hand and touched the design on my arm.

Fuck, it didn't matter that I didn't imprint on her, because she'd already imprinted herself onto my heart. Shit, shit, shit, don't lose control.

But I was barely holding on. This fire wasn't like the other, there was no pleasure sowed into the headiness of power. This fire came from my gut, and swirled like a tornado.

I was a tornado, and without thinking about it, my mouth swooped down and pressed itself to hers.

Bad idea, bad idea, but fuck it felt like the greatest idea I'd ever had. She froze underneath me, her lips stiff, but I didn't move away. I couldn't move away.

If she didn't want me she'd have to show me, push me, bite me. Anything. Anything other than this nothing, which might not be nothing at all.

After a few seconds, her lips relaxed, and she tentatively kissed me back.

Yes, yes, yes, fuck—I was demented, and this wasn't why I asked her here, but my hand fisted in her hair, and her fingers were clutching at my own.

We were pressed to each other, breathing each other in, in this new way. We were molded to each other and my trembling had gotten out of control. We were practically vibrating.

She loosened her hold on me, and I knew my time was up. I also knew that after tasting the nectar of her lips, I'd never be able to go back. I'd never be able to step away. Not without trying my hardest to keep her right where she was.

"Wow," she let out a nervous dry laugh. The tip of her nose touched mine, and I realized that I was still holding her up, keeping her face level with mine—I really needed to get my shit together.

I let her down, and smirked cockily, "Wow is right."

She gave me an unimpressed looked, and I couldn't help but feel the trembling relax. Snap. Twist.

It was hope, and I was submerged in it.

She could see the change on my face, because even though I let her go, she didn't move away. There was a natural skittishness around her that was endearing, but she was focused solely on me right now, and it felt good. Really good. Too good, maybe.

"What's going on, Jacob?"

Her question was as serious as her somber face, and I couldn't hide from any of it. I didn't want to, either.

"I'm a wolf," I whispered. I threw it out there fast, because if I waited I'd never say anything.

"Like, metaphorically?"

I smiled bitterly, "No. Not metaphorically. You know what I'm talking about."

She gasped, eyes wide like a deer, but she didn't step away. She didn't step away and that mattered a hell of a lot more than it should've.

"How?"

"The Cullens activated the gene. Now, we've got all these vampires running through town—"

"Oh my god," she looked like she was going to start hyperventilating. My hand tentatively, gently, stroked her cheek.

"Hey, hey, we're okay. We're good," I tried to console, but what the hell did I know about consoling anyone about this that wasn't pack. I could barely console myself about my current situation.

"Did they know that—"

"The Cullens knew that they triggered the change. They just didn't care." My voice was hard, but I couldn't help it. They were my enemy. Everything in me wanted to search and destroy just at the thought of them.

Those fuckers should burn for what they've done, but I couldn't let myself get lost in that. The hatred and anger was too easy to call, because it never really left. It was always there, underneath the layers of emotions that fought for control, waiting like a tsunami to rise.

"What does this mean?" Her eyes held trust, just like my pack, and damn it, why did people react like that suddenly to me? Was it the tenor in my voice? Was it the fact that I look like I'm in my early twenties now instead of sixteen?

"It means that I'm tied to the reservation, now. I hunt vampires as my day and night job—protect the tribe."

"You can't hunt them! Are you insane?" Bella's said wildly, and she was so beautifully untamed when she was scared and protective all at once.

"We're built to kill them, Bells," I smiled. It was almost normal, except that it really wasn't. "Everything about me now is made to find them, to kill them. I'm a monster now, too. Just a different kind."

"Stop," Bella commanded, and it was sexy as hell. But the wolf in me didn't understand sexy that well. All the instinct inside of me understood was that I'd been given a command, and I coiled, ready to strike. I tensed every muscle in my body, holding strict control over the instinct to attack, to dominate her in every way possible.

"You are not a monster," she continued, oblivious to my struggle. "You might be different now, but you are nothing like a monster. Not even close."

My body slowly relaxed, as the fire of desire started to swirl slowly. I was still me, and wanting Bella would always probably trump any other instinct. I needed to distract myself, before I tried to devour her again.

"Well, anyway, this is why I've been MIA. I phased and became alpha, so things have gotten super complicated."

"What do you mean you became alpha?"

"Sam was the alpha, the leader, until I phased. My wolf is too dominant to submit to anyone. So we fought, and I won."

"Is he okay?" The worry in her eyes and voice were exactly what my wolf needed. A simple question, but that was all it took for my wolf to understand that she was worthy, she was pack somehow, yet not quite. But it was enough. She was enough.

She cared about my pack, and that was all the vindication I needed that I'd made the right choice in loving her.

"He's good as new, now. We heal fast."

"Alpha Jacob, huh?" Bella teased, and I couldn't help but throw my head back and laugh. I couldn't help the slight giddiness that I felt at hearing her acknowledge everything that I was.

"It's a shit job, with even shittier pay," I quipped, but she caught truth in my eyes. I could see it in the way the smile left her lips.

"What can I do?" she asked me, shoulders straight as though she were preparing to march into my world and do whatever I asked.

"Don't leave me," I joked, but it wasn't a joke at all and she knew that too. Shit, if I thought she could deliver, I'd have asked her to love me instead.

Bella took a deep breath. She was struggling, but I couldn't carry her struggle and my own. Not anymore, and it sort of sucked, but it was right, too. We both had to learn to handle our shit on our own sometimes. Guess, this was what growing up looked like.

Finally, she said, "You said I'm your vision of love?"

"I meant it," my heart pounded intensely in my ribcage and I could hear hers drumming to the same beat. In sync.

She bit her lower lip. "I know, but—I'm not sure I know what love looks like. E—He didn't love me, and I thought that he did. I thought that we were what love looked like. But we weren't. I won't leave you, not as long as you want me with you, but I wasn't lying when I said that I'm broken."

I heard what she said, and what she didn't say. She wanted to be better, she just didn't know how. She didn't know, and I wasn't sure I could show her. But I could give her all the time to figure it out on her own. Next to me.

"That's okay," I wrapped my around her waist, lifted her up again, and let my nose graze hers. "You can take all the time you need to figure out what love looks like to you. I'm not going anywhere. And if neither are you, then we can figure it all out."

"We've got this," she said with confidence. Complete faith in us, our enduring friendship, our maybe-could-be-love, clearly giving her strength.

Her eyes sparkled, and I felt a contentedness inside of me while I held her. Shit, this was probably going to be a fucking disaster—me trying not to push for more now that I've tasted the sweetness of her lips slanting over mine, and I didn't even want to think about what Billy was going to say when he found out that I told her about the pack.

But none of it mattered.

Somehow, in this moment, we found a hope that though we couldn't be who we'd been—her: naïve in love, and me: naïve of the monster within—we could still be something, together.

So, what do you guys think? Love it? Hate it? Let me know and Review! **Reviews are love**