Ok so again I have no idea where this came from. I just decided to let my mind be free. So here is what was vomited from the workings of my mind. If there is anything you guys want to see let me know. Enjoy! And thanks so much for all the reviews and follows!
I don't own OUAT, (Lana, my body's ready.)
Chapter 2. Family Barbeque.
It wasn't long before the group arrived at the large cabin. It was almost too big to call it a cabin, more like a large home with the cabin feel to it. The scene was quite beautiful. There was a huge beautiful lake and the cabin was surrounded by three acres of fresh green grass.
"Good job on the venue David," Ruby praised while staring in awe.
David lifted his arm to flex his bicep, "all in the days work of a prince." He said cockily.
"How did you find it?" Belle asked.
"I searched a whole fort night, and I did not rest until I found the perfect place."
"It was an ad on tumblr grandpa," Henry stated rolling his eyes.
The group all looked at him shaking their heads.
"What? Tumblr has its perks." He shrugged
Regina rolled her eyes and followed her wife inside the cabin. Everyone 'oohed' and 'ahhed' at the interior of the place. All except for Snow. She was still a little weary from the trip. Blaming it on some serious jet lag.
Everyone soon separated, venturing off to find their own room. Emma and Regina headed up the wooden stairs. Stopping at one of the rooms containing a queen sized bed.
"Well at least the rooms aren't bad," Regina stated.
"Yeah and we still get our own space, so it's all good." Emma motioned over to the bed plopping down and screamed as it started to wave underneath her. "Holy shit Regina, It's a water bed!" she squealed with excitement as she flopped more on the bed. "I wanted one all my life!"
Regina rolled her eyes.
"IM LOSING MY SHIT! THIS TRIP IS FUCKING AWESOME!"
"It's not that serious Emma."
The blonde quickly sprang from the bed grabbing her wife by shoulders invading her personal space, "have you ever had sex on a water bed? Do you know the feelings you get? Oh god it's like fucking on air. Zero gravity baby." Her green eyes were wild and dilated. "Please tell me I have my season pass back."
The brunette remained silent, purposely teasing her wife with an amused grin.
Emma wasn't having any of it," DON'T, MESS WITH ME MAN!"
Regina laughed, "Ok, ok Emma calm down. You can have it back."
"OMG I love you." Emma crushed her lips against Regina's. She then moved in front of the bed and bowed down in front of it. "We're not worthy."
"Emma what are you doing?"
"What you should be doing, we have to respect the bed." She reached over roughly bringing her wife to her knees. "RESPECT IT REGINA!"
Meanwhile…
Ruby and Belle were putting their clothes into the drawers of the room they found. Just as Belle started to fold a few of their clothes she heard Ruby squeal from behind her. She quickly turned around to find Ruby staring at the headboard of the queen bed.
"What is it?" Belle questioned.
"A gift from the heavens…" she trailed.
"What are you talking about?"
Ruby quickly turned around grabbing her girlfriend by the arm facing the headboard. To Belle there was nothing unordinary about the headboard. It was just like any of the others, except it had pole lines going across horizontally. "Don't you see what I see?" Ruby questioned?
"A headboard?"
"NO…handcuff heaven."
"What?"
"What are you blind woman? Look our headboard has POLES. You know what that means!?"
Silence.
"Let's just say you won't be getting away from me." Ruby winked as Belle audibly gulped.
...
After Snow and Charming found their respective rooms, the brunette was feeling a bit peckish and headed to the kitchen. She checked the refrigerator.
No food.
The cabinets.
Empty.
"Well I guess grocery shopping is the first thing we all need to do." She muttered to know one in particular.
Henry then came down beaming from his discovery of the room with bunk beds. He had always wanted one. Maybe after this trip he could finally convince his parents to getting him one. "Hey grandma, what are we gonna eat?"
"Well there seems to be no food so I guess we'll have to go food shopping."
"Are we gonna go now?"
"We'll go as soon as everyone is settled."
...
After everyone else found their rooms they all gathered downstairs. Ruby and Belle were the last to enter. The brunette noticed how the energy was a little strange as they all seemed to lock eyes on Emma who was rocking on the couch like a lunatic. She smirked as she remembered the blonde's mother doing the same thing a couple hours ago.
"Em, you ok?"
Emma squealed.
"What's with her?" Ruby directed the question to Regina.
"The room we found has a water bed." She said nonchalantly.
Deadpan.
"Oh my…your prayers have been answered." She brought her hand over her mouth with tears in her eyes.
Emma jumped from her seat hugging onto the brunette, "Hold me ruby."
The two began to cry in unison.
"It can't be that serious," Regina mumbled while looking at her wife and friend hug each other.
"I'm uncomfortable again." Charming stated.
The rest of the group nodded in agreement.
The group finally made it to the supermarket, after an hour of fighting over who sits where and who will drive.
The drive was only a couple minutes long and the group was now walking through the parking lot head towards the store.
"Piggily Wiggily?" Snow stated, "What a cute name for a supermarket."
"It sounds retarded," Emma chimed.
"Hey, don't ruin this for me!" Snow scolded.
Emma's eyes grew wide and placed her hands up in surrender. "Ok mom chill, it was a joke."
"Let it go Snow," Charming stated as they entered the store.
Everyone moved to grab their own cart after agreeing to meet up again in an hour.
Emma, Regina and Henry walked down the aisle together.
"Mom can we get some ice-cream?" Henry started.
"Yeah can we?" Emma chimed.
"Fine, children, you both can decide on one."
"YOSH!" they simultaneously fist pumped and ran towards the frozen aisle.
...
Snow stood in front of the snacks trying to decide which would go better with her tea. She turned to her husband, "wafers or crackers?"
"Huh?"
"Wafers or crackers, I need to find something that goes well with tea."
"Umm," James scratched the back of his head, "does it matter?"
"Yes it matters, THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS DECISION!"
"It's just tea…and starch."
Mary Margaret gasped exaggeratingly, "tea…just tea…how dare you."
Charming gulped.
"You don't love me…" she started to sob.
"Of course I do." He moved to comfort his wife but stopped as Snow snapped upward staring at him.
"Then help me make my decision."
"Uhh…both?"
The brunette looked at him with wide eyes and covered her mouth with the palm of her hand as tears streamed down her face. "You do love me." She jumped into her husband's arms.
Meanwhile…
Henry and Emma had finally decided on the ice cream flavor. Chocolate chip cookie dough. The small boy walked over to the freezer opening it and reached for the very last container of ice cream. Just as he tried to grasp it another little boy shoved him out of the way and grabbed it.
"Hey give that back," Henry stated angrily. "I saw it first."
"You were too slow." The red headed boy turned to walk off but Henry grabbed his shirt, stopping him.
"I said give it to me."
"No."
Emma then stepped in between the two boys. "Hey listen kid," she said referring to the other boy, "you're not being fair, I think you should give that back." She was trying to be the reasonable parent.
"My name is Tim." He said crossly.
"Okay, Tim, Henry clearly saw it first I think you should give it back."
"I think you should eat a breath mint!" Tim shot back.
"Listen here you little crumb snatcher," Emma started but was stopped by Henry.
"I got this Ma," Emma stepped back with pride, her son wanted to stick up for her. "Give me back my ice-cream and apologize to my mother."
"Your mothers a bitch." Tim seethed.
Without thinking Henry cocked a fist and punched the other boy square in the face, knocking him on the ground. The Swan kid was on top of the other boy immediately the two of them rolling around on the ground.
Regina heard some of the commotion and quickly made her way to the frozen section. Her eyes grew wide as she saw her son rolling on the ground with another boy and practically seethed in anger as her wife seemed to just watch.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"
Emma turned around to see her wife fuming towards her.
Regina's yelling caused the rest of the group to gather in the same aisle. The brunette mother moved to break up the fight but was stopped by her wife. "What are you-, Henry get off that boy this instant!"
"He called me a bitch," Emma reasoned.
"KICK HIS ASS HENRY!" Regina shouted.
The boys rolled more, Henry hitting Tim in the face for a third time.
"Bite'em!" Emma shouted, "Bite'em like a little monkey!"
"Bob and weave Henry!" Ruby joined. "No bob…weave…your bobbing when you should be weaving" she gestured with her head.
"GO FOR THE JUGULAR!" Belle screamed. Surprising everyone.
"We're not trying to kill him Belle," Regina stated.
"Yeah Ruby, get your girl." Emma chimed.
Soon the sight of guards could be seen and Emma moved swiftly to pick up her son to remove him from the sight, "time to go." She tossed the boy over her shoulder and ran; exiting the super market. Regina, Ruby and Belle in tow.
Snow and charming casually whistled as they made their way to the counter to pay for the food. No use in this trip being a total bust.
Back at the cabin Charming and Emma were in the kitchen preparing things after the last minute decision to have a barbeque.
Belle and Snow packed away the rest of the food that wasn't going to be used that day.
Regina, Ruby and Henry were outside setting up the table.
Emma walked outside carrying a tray of burger meat already made into patties as Charming moved to the grill to ignite it. The flame roared and he took a step back. "Now that's a fire!"
The rest of group rolled their eyes. Regina took notice of the perfectly shaped patties.
"Did you make these Emma?"
"Yea why?" She eyed them to see if anything was wrong.
"They look nicely done."
Emma smirked, "wanna know how I did it?"
"Enlighten me dear."
"I had to flip it, rub it and smack it down," she smacked her wife's ass and palmed it for emphasis.
Regina growled.
"I can teach you later," she winked.
"Only if it'll be a private lesson." The two connected for a searing kiss. Regina wrapping her arms around her wife's neck.
Ruby gagged playfully," can you guys like, not do that so close to the food."
The Swan couple ignored her and continued their kissing. Emma now palming both her wife's ass cheeks, squeezing softly.
"Uncomfortable!" Charming shouted.
The couple finally pulled apart.
...
As the food sat on the grill everyone went to find their own thing to do until it was time to eat. Henry ran off to go climb one of the trees in the huge yard while he waited for the food to be ready.
Ruby and Belle were off on the far side near the lake. It was a cute scene, the two of them talking and laughing. Regina lounged on a lawn chair with cold glass of lemonade as Emma helped her father on the grill. Snow was in the process of making a second batch of lemonade.
The trip had started to go nicely, well, until they heard a thud as Henry feel from the tree. That was actually only 4ft tall.
Regina quickly got up and ran over to her son, "Henry are you ok?'
The small boy laid on the ground a spaced out look on his face, "I think I see the light."
Emma rolled her eyes, "oh stop with the dramatics, the tree was the same height as you."
Ruby and Belle ran over, with Snow in tow.
The pixie brunette was the first to speak, "don't move Henry."
"We should call an ambulance," Ruby stated.
"You have got to be kidding me," Emma sighed.
"Mom, where are you mom!" Henry waved his hands in the air.
"I'm here sweetheart." Regina sad sadly.
"I'm so…cold."
"Oh for the love of-" Emma face palmed.
Snow crouched over the dramatic boy, "hold on Henry."
"HE'S FINE!" Emma tried to reason but was drowned out again.
"My sweet sweet boy," Regina teared, rubbing his hair out of his face.
"CURSE THIS BLASTED TREE!" Ruby shouted.
"Fine," Emma started, "If no one wants to pay attention then I'm going to sing." The group continued to fuss over the boy. Except for charming who decided it was best to stay over the grill. Shaking his head. Emma began to sing, "STRIP CLOTHES AND DOLLAR BILLS! STILL GOT MY MONEY!" She sung at the top of her lungs. The group continued to fuss over Henry. "PATRON SHOTS CAN I GET A REFILL! I STILL GOT MY MONEY!"
Slowly Henry and the rest turned to the blonde who was purposely singing off key and very, very loudly.
"STRIPPERS GOING UP AND DOWN THAT POLE. I STILL GOT MORE MONEY. FOUR O'CLOCK WE AINT GOING HOME!"
"Umm...Emma?" Belle questioned. All the attention was successfully off of Henry as they all stared with rapt attention.
Emma switched to another part of the song; "OOOHHHHHHHH, ALL I SEE IS SIGNS ALL I SEE IS DOLLAR SIGNS!" she started clapping her hands. Completely forgetting why she started singing in the first place.
Regina stood and clapped her hands in front of her wife's face. Emma snapped out of her trance, looking at her wife with a blush and cleared her throat. "I'm…I'm gonna go make some tacos."
"We're having burgers," Ruby corrected.
"Well you need burger meat to make tacos, GOD RUBY YOUR SO STUPID!" She shouted before running off. Hoping that would take their minds of her singing.
It didn't. But they would let it pass for now.
Ruby felt her phone buzz and quickly motioned to answer it.
The group soon sat down to eat. Henry pretty much devoured his food. Regina bit into her burger groaning slightly at the taste. Emma's face grew red; she really wanted to get upstairs to the water bed.
A few moments later Ruby came over, a ghost look on her face.
"What's wrong babe?" Belle questioned.
"My grandmother just called."
"Oh?" Snow responded.
"She said she would be coming tomorrow."
"What's so bad about that?' Emma questioned.
"Cora's coming too."
Hope you guys enjoyed this one! If there is anything you want to see feel free to let me know. Reviews feed my muse ")