After all this time1

Thank you for reading my story. Here is Chapter 2 :)

I wanted avoid Jacob for forever. I wanted to take back what I did with him. No matter how good it felt. I feel so guilty for cheating on Edward. After Carlisle bandaged and fixed my wrist. I had to explain to Edward and Carlisle how I injured myself. I didn't want to tell them the truth. I didn't want them to know what truly happened. I knew what Edward would do. He would make his way over to La Push, treaty or no treaty and shaped Jacob's face in a new way. And I didn't want to create a bigger war between my boyfriend and best friend. But I also couldn't bring myself to hate Jacob for his actions. But I was going to avoid him for as long as I could. I didn't want to kiss him again or anything else, right?

But that kiss made me melt in sweet surrender. I would've done anything Jacob said as long as he kept those lips on my body. I felt heat rush up to my cheeks just thinking about that kiss. I never felt anything so wonderful, not even kissing Edward. But I shouldn't even be thinking about Jacob's kiss, I should be thinking about what Mrs. Price, my English teacher was saying.

But no, stupid Bella is sitting at the back of the class with her boyfriend thinking about the amazing kiss, she had with her best friend who she didn't want to see again. Because she was afraid that if he kissed her again, she wouldn't want to stop and she would lose herself in the heat. That's not true! I screamed at my thoughts.

Bella you can't fool anyone especially your own mind, I can tell you want to kiss him again. I do not! I only want Edward forever and no one else.

Then why are you thinking about Jacob's kiss? I just thinking how he...umm...could've had a breath mint.

Breath mint? Right, what an excuse! Seriously, stop denying you want those lips back on yours. Whatever. The only thing I'm wanting at this moment is for Edward not to magically to start reading my mind. That would be quite awkward if he could, wouldn't it?

My mind never responded back and I felt my face bunched up in confusion. Hello? I thought.

After a few moments, I thought I was simply mad talking to myself. I felt a cold hand gently touch my shoulder and looked up to Edward's face staring down at me with concern written in his eyes.

"Bella...The bell rang five minutes ago. Is something wrong, love?"

I shook my head at his question. I was fine, no I am fine. Nothing is wrong. I'm completely fine.

I stood up from my table after I gathered my belongings. And slowly, Edward and I made our way through the crowd to our cars in the parking lot. Opening my passenger door, I threw my school bag in the seat and walked to the driver side of the truck where Edward was waiting for me patiently. He wrapped his arms around me once I reached him. I leant my head on his shoulder thinking it felt nice in his arms, but would feeling nice always cut it? I mean with Jac- No, I wasn't going to think about him.

"Bella, I am worried about you. You've always been zoning out ever since you came back from Jacobs. Are you sure you fine? I glanced into his golden eyes and nodded my head.

"Edward, I'm fine. Really, I'm just worried about graduation coming up and everything" I spoke half the truth.

I had only several weeks left before I was with Edward forever. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, I had only weeks left as a human. Shock spread through my body like a blanket covering me on a cold night. My friends, Charlie, Renee, Jacob...I had only a few more weeks to share with them and then no more. Charlie would feel abandoned by me. I could never see Renee again in sunny Jacksonville without showing what I truly was. And Jacob...he was the only one who knew what was happening in a few weeks. He would know what really happen to me. I would become a mortal enemy to my best friend, my sunshine.

I glanced down at my feet so Edward didn't see the emotions preview through my eyes. But even without looking into my eyes, he knew what I was feeling. Hr wrapped his arms around me tightly.

"Bella, my love I know time has gone by quickly by do not freight, my love. You will have a family standing by you through your change. Do not worry, everything will be fine."

"But Edward, what about my friends, Charlie, Renee, Jacob..." I felt Edward tense up in my arms when I said the last name slipping from my lips, but I continued anyway. " I'll lose all of them. I will never be able to see them again. Charlie will think I've left him forever. I can never see Renee in Jacksonville without showing the whole world what I've become. And Jacob..." My voice tighten and cut off as I said his name.

I pushed myself out of Edward's arms and lent against the truck, looking at the crack in the car park concrete. I sucked in a deep breath and looked in Edward's eyes.

"And Jacob, my best friend will become my enemy forever. I can never become his friend again. I'll lose my true family, not that I don't love you and your family. But... I'll lose everyone in my human life. Everything is going by so quickly. My mind isn't taking it in yet and that's whats worrying me."

Edward nodded his head when I finished and he understood what I meant.

"Bella, honey have you changed your mind? If so, why? Why now? Ever since you've came back from the mutt's house. You've changed. Have I done something to upset you? Or has the mutt done something to you? I saw anger, frustration and sadness flash through his eyes.

I couldn't answer any of his questions. I didn't know what I wanted anymore. I didn't know what had changed my mind. But I could tell Edward continued fuming with anger as I didn't answer any of his questions.

"No Edward, I haven't changed my mind. I still wanna become one of you" My quiet voice echoed in the now empty car park.

Edward flashed me his brilliant smile and walked over and cupped his hands around my face. He then leaned down and kissed me gently on my lips. A rush of hunger swept through my body and I pushed myself against Edward and deepen the kiss. My breaths became in gasps after several moments. Edward froze up against me as soon as I tried slip my tongue through his cold lips. He gently pushed my shoulders against the car and looked at me with black eyes. He was panting for air even though he didn't need to fill his lungs.

"Bella, we cannot do that. I can't control myself especially when you try to take me in the car parking lot at school." He took a few steps away from me to regain his control. "I'm sorry Bella but I do not trust myself when you do that. As much as I want that, I cannot."

I felt angry and dis-satisfied. Edward could never give me enough. Not until I was one of them. Jacob could though. The evil voice appeared in my head and shook my head in anger at it.

"Bella, whats wrong love? You seem a little green."

"I'm fine, Edward. And it's okay that we can't do more than kissing. It's fine." Edward smiled that I accepted it so easily but my hunger was still in my body, wanting and waiting to have more. But I wasn't going to give in.