Falling Alone

Shade did say he's going to give it a shot. I know he can do anything once he sets his mind to it.

But, what he earned is more than what I've imagined.

In just a few weeks, Shade was labeled as the most popular guy by the entire student body. Not only he's amazing in playing volleyball, he also got that irresistible appeal while playing.

The big difference in our schedule had put me out of action.

Whenever I try to visit him in their club room, it's either he already went home or he's busy with some errands.

I have always been working hard to make myself useful to him.

I think it's reasonable to use myself for my benefit too.

But, is there anything I can do which does not involve him?

Summer arrived and my father returned home. Of course, my sister was with him.

"Fine?"

I felt the weight in my chest dissipate when my sister called out.

"Rein!" I squealed and launched myself to her, causing us to tumble on the ground.

We laughed until tears leaked out of our eyes.

"It's been forever…" she commented, pulling herself up.

I looked up at her then at her outstretched hand which I eagerly took.

"Yeah…" I answered with a nod.

I knew it would be better with Rein around. She's very knowledgeable with this stuff so I decided to talk about it with her. I refused to mention Shade's name whenever we talked. Until now, the subject of our small talks about love is anonymous.

She gave me lots of advice and I was so glad she can help.

But…

I shouldn't have showed her around the school and took her to one of Shade's matches.

Rein was never the athletic type. She does not like sitting in a court for hours, where the scent of sweat lingers. She hates it when the smell clings on her clothes or when it mixes with her perfume.

I carefully chose a seat where the air roams freely so she can somehow enjoy watching.

The volleyball tournament was a huge success especially for Shade's team. They got a ticket to nationals and it's a sure win.

I asked Rein if we could at least congratulate him before we go home. She just returned a warm smile and a nod.

"Congratulations…" I bashfully spoke and held out my hand. He looked at me then shook my hand.

His hand has many callouses. Well, he practiced for over three months straight after all. The way our hands brushed made me remember our last conversation before he joined the volleyball team.

I wonder if I can hear his laugh again.

"Thanks…" He simply replied. His eyes darted to Rein who was standing behind me with a face that rivals a stone.

"Ah, she's my sister," I introduced, grabbing Rein's attention.

"Congratulations. That was a great match," She mumbled softly, briefly meeting his eyes.

Shade scoffed at my sister's attitude. "Sarcastic much, princess?" he remarks.

Rein lifts an eyebrow, daring him to say anything that would further aggravate her.

"Hey, l-look at the time!" I exclaimed my pathetic excuse.

"Let's go home, Rein." I urged, giving Shade one last glance before we strode off.

My heart stopped when a smile tugged his lips. It was the smile which he never showed before.

But… it was aimed at Rein.

I stumbled over my steps which caused my sister to turn around. I apologized and pushed her shoulders a little forceful so she would continue walking forward.

I didn't like the way they exchanged glances.

Since then, I didn't know what happened but he was really interested with my sister.

He frequently drops by our place just to mess her mood. When I asked, he said he likes the "thrill of the chase".

That's when I realized…

I didn't know him anymore. Unlike when we were younger, he was like an open book to me.

After the first semester, Shade was suspended from practice because he pummeled the team captain.

That increased his chances to hang out in our house. The usual weekends turned daily.

"Ow!" He hissed as I pressed an ice pack on his bruised cheek.

I bit my lip and withdrew my hand. "I'm sorry. I have no idea how to do first aid." I sheepishly grinned.

He lifted an eyebrow and crinkled his nose. My eyes made an involuntary squint at the gesture.

"You act like a guy after all," Shade muttered under his breath, giving me an indifferent glance.

"What did you say?!" I retorted, adding pressure to the ice pack on his cheek. Pain shot through him, causing him to double over.

A string of curses left his mouth as he caressed his cheek. I stifled a laugh.

"I wish I have a girlfriend…" I heard him grumble.

"Hmm?" I hummed and moved my ear closer.

"Fine…" He whispered, boring his eyes on mine.

"What?" I stated a little too quickly. I felt my breath caught when he bashfully averted his gaze.

"Do you think I have a chance?" He asked, his eyes had a stern glint in them. It was different from his usual nonchalant expression.

"E-eh?" I choked out, careful not to miss any word he's going to say. I suppressed a blush as he placed a hand at the back of my neck, my face drawn on his shoulder and his breath tickling my ear.

He took a deep breath then whispered, "Will Rein like me?"

My eyes dilated as his words registered. We pulled away, my eyes deliberately searched his face for lies.

Please tell me you're lying! I chanted loudly in my head. I unconsciously buried my face on my palm as I felt pain penetrate my head.

I waited for him to take those words back. I wanted him to say it's a joke. I silently begged he would at least say never mind or simply shrug it off.

But he never did any of those.

He just looked at me, patiently waiting for my response.

"Oh, Rein? Of course!" I forced out. I encouraged him again, just like what I did before.

"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" As if on cue, Rein marched in the living room. She took a seat opposite us, her eyes speculating.

"None of your business," Shade bantered. The curiosity in her eyes was immediately replaced with rage.

"You're making it fast to my no-list," she bickers.

"Who says I want to make it to your yes-list?" he smirked.

At that moment, I realized…

I was removed in his life.

But I wasn't able to move on.

Rein said she already answered yes. Stubbornly, I refused to believe it though I heard it first-hand from her.

Why didn't I say the guy I love was Shade? Rein could have re-considered. The outcome would have changed.

But…

Shade hates selfish people.

I still consider him above my feelings.

"Hey, uh, have you seen Sha—" I approached one of the upperclassmen but Bright interrupted.

"Serizawa? He didn't finish practice."

"Uh, okay. Thank you," I forced out, suppressing the disappointment that latches in my tone.

I was already out of the court when I felt a hand tap my shoulder.

I looked up and saw Bright.

"Uh, sorry. But do me a favor, please." He requested. I returned a nod.

"Shade is not appearing in practice recently. Well, we do know he and captain are not in good terms but nationals is in a few weeks," Bright explains.

He's not attending practice?

"So, can you ask him to show up?" Bright asked, wiping a sweat sliding down his jawline.

"Okay, I'll give it a try. Shade does what he wants after all." I answered and heaved out a loud sigh.

That's right. He does what he wants. He lies and keeps everything a secret…

He pushed me away when I tried to reach out.

"Oh, long time no see, Serizawa…"

Shade was passing by a sidewalk when a familiar, gravelly voice called him from behind.

"Huh?" Shade apathetically replied.

He tediously turned his head and saw the sickening smile of his former tennis co-players back in middle school.

"Still got that irritating attitude, huh?" his former team captain comments, scrunching his nose.

Shade laughed, sending them a disgusted look.

"And what if I am?" He smugly replied.

"Don't get in your high horses, man." the former team captain hissed, clenching his jaw.

Shade gave a dismissive shrug. "Well, I heard you got your ass kicked by your longtime rival. I really felt sorry for you. If you had just kept me on the team, who knows, you would have been the happiest person right now." He taunted, smirking derisively.

"I'll kill you, Serizawa!" the guy snapped, lunging forward with a tennis racket.

Shade didn't expect they were also armed with pointed, blunt tools. He hissed distastefully when a knife pierced a muscle in his arm.

Fine...

Was the last thought that appeared in his mind before he passed out.

Fine dropped by the park before heading home. It was empty at the moment, the atmosphere not helping to cure her anxiety and heartache.

She heaved out a heavy sigh, her head falling sideward as stress took its toll on her.

Her eyes fluttered shut and the warm orange glow filtered through her closed eyelids.

She looked up and the tree behind her gave her shade. Her shoulders slumped.

Shade…

She felt her phone vibrate and saw a set of numbers displayed on her screen. She swiped her thumb on the answer button.

"Fine!" Before she could utter a word, Bright's bellow shook her entire being.

"Bright?" She choked out, trying to recover from shock.

"Shade is in critical condition right now!" His voice started cracking.

Fine felt her brain shut down. She had to use both her hands to grip the phone near her ear.

She can hear metal screeching, the sound of the stretcher being pulled towards the emergency room.

"Wh-what?" She couldn't stop a sob. It felt like someone delivered a fatal blow in her head and chest.

"I'll tell you the details later. He's in Miyabigaoka hospital," He spoke between ragged breaths.

She couldn't stop a whimper, much less form a word. She just nodded in reply, though Bright couldn't see her.

"Fine, he's in the emergency room now. That guy will survive it. You know that better than anyone else." Bright affirmed, trying to slow his breathing. Nervousness outweighed his composure.

"He'll crawl out of death's hands just to see you again..." He adds, hoping it would somehow calm her.

Fine mumbled "thank you" before disconnecting. Bright's alarming news robbed every fiber of strength in her body, causing her to throw up everything she ate for lunch.

She wanted to go right away but decided to take Rein.

Fine fumbled on her phone and her fingers quavered as she dialed her sister's number.

After a few, failed attempts of contacting Rein, Fine realized something.

Rein's phone is off because no one could bother her shopping.

She slapped her cheek in annoyance then ran off to Rein's favorite boutique.

"Rein!" Fine yelled, gathering the attention of all the customers.

Rein was standing beside the counter, grabbing her purchases. "Fine? What are you doing here?" She quietly asked.

Fine pulled her out of the shop. "You have to go with me." It sounded more demanding than she intended.

Shade comes first. There's no point in beating around the bush.

"Did something happen?" Rein asked, her lungs shallowly rose and fell.

Fine could tell that her sister already guessed that whatever happened is nothing but bad.

"Shade… Shade…" Fine felt her lips quiver. Her fear is getting bigger and bigger each second.

"He's escaping death in the hospital." She had to grip her sister's arm so she'll not entirely collapse on the ground.

Even Rein who has the ability to think straight even under dire situations, couldn't wrap her brain around anything after hearing those cruel words.

As they arrived in the hospital, Fine nearly threw up at the sight.

An open-fractured leg, a twisted arm, multiple stabs on his abdomen, purplish marks decorating his skin… Fine couldn't even distinguish his facial features.

But… she's sure it's Shade.

Her teeth sunk more deeply in her lower lip as she allowed her tears to slide. Rein slumped beside the hospital bed, clutching his hand like a lifeline.

Fine stood there remotely, her nails digging in her palms.

"I'm sorry I was a late." Bright muttered as he clenched his fists.

"No. If it wasn't because of you… he wouldn't have reached the hospital in time." She replied, her face stoic but her eyes red with strained tears.

Fine hated to admit it but she's relieved that at least, he's still alive. But she could never accept his condition right now.

"So… thank you." She lifted her head and mustered every ounce of courage she has.

She must stay strong. It's a self-rule.

Besides, Shade hates over dramatic people.

Weeks passed and Shade finally showed good signs of vitality.

"Fine, I'm going back to Tokyo."

Fine was fixing Shade's lunch when Rein's words broke her thoughts.

"Eh? But Shade is…" Fine spluttered. She dropped the ladle and entered her sister's room.

"I know. He's in good condition now so—" Rein explained, fixing her clothes in a luggage.

"So, it's okay to leave him? Does taking care of him equate to losing all your opportunities of good career in Tokyo?" Fine cuts off.

"No. That's not what I mean." Rein tried to reason out.

"How can you do this? You're his girlfriend, right?" Fine retorted.

Rein's head shot up. "Eh? What exactly is your point?" she spoke in a clipped tone, her eyes narrowed at Fine.

"Isn't it just right to put him on priority? Do you feel that he's pulling you down?" Fine didn't realize that her words were harshly pronounced.

"No! I don't, okay?" Rein answered as she placed her luggage back to the cabinet.

"He's not pulling me down. I'll do as you say. I'll stay with him, forever." She announced, striding towards the kitchen to pack the lunch.

"I'm sorry for spouting such words..." Fine muttered, eyes downcast.

"It's just that… all the people beside him always left him." She hissed.

That's why she never aimed for his side. She's okay with her place behind him.

Rein's eyes softened but regained her composure. "Why are you so hard on yourself? You're his most important girl, right?" She spoke as blunt as it needs.

"You underestimated yourself. All those things you did for him, big or small, it's impossible that he never appreciated any of those." The blue haired girl walked in front of her and looked straight in her eyes.

"Do you know why he never looked back?" Rein asked, her stern gaze caused Fine to slightly shudder.

"Eh?"

"Because he's confident someone is waiting for him, someone is cheering for him from behind."

Fine finally woke up. She felt tears crawl on her face as the truth sank in.

"He still has you, Fine."

She was always thinking of him… that she forgot her worth.

Shade's recovery took longer than expected. They were frightened he wouldn't be able to walk again. When he woke up, his fractured leg wouldn't move according to his will.

But after four months of rehabilitation to restore his limb, he was able to move around again. He was discharged from the hospital and decided to follow Rein who's returning to Tokyo.

No updates from them since they left. Fine just hoped everything would be okay between them and little by little, she moved forward with the help of those people around her.

"It's been a year, huh…" Fine looked up, soft snow tapped against her smooth cheek. She adjusted her scarf and pulled it up to her nose. Her gloved hands shoved inside her trench coat's pocket, the heels of her mid-kneecap boots marred the pure surface of drifted snow.

The bleach-white snow cloaked the land. The barren skies were silent. A few people would venture out to do their daily routines and Fine was one of them.

She rubbed her hands up and down her arms to produce even a little amount of warmth.

"Fine?" A familiar voice called her from behind. It's the voice she missed so much.

Out of impulse, Fine turned around and met his dark blue eyes a-flicker with surprise.

"Shade…" she breathed out. Her nose immediately turned red as she sniffed and pushed back the tears threatening to fall.

They decided to enter a small café so they can comfortably catch up to everything.

"Where did you get that?" Fine asked, reaching his face to trace the scratches.

"Huh?" Shade looked up, jerking his face sideways when her cold fingers came in contact with his skin.

Fine quickly withdrew her hand before answering. "Those scratch on your cheek," she pointed out, lifting a finger to touch her own cheek.

Shade pressed a palm on his cheek. "Rein did it." He replied with a dismissive shrug.

Her eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. "What happened?" she prods.

"Clawed it because she thinks I'm cute." Shade chuckled, propping his chin on his palm.

Fine stifled a laugh. "Ridiculous. The only thing that Rein finds cute is her pet Poomo." She argued.

Shade shook his head, a smile not leaving his face. "Okay. She slapped me." He admits.

Fine looked closely, anticipating that gesture. Indeed, he lifted an eyebrow and crinkled his nose.

"Why?" She frowned.

"I was fooling around again." Shade answered simply, his eyes dropping on his reflection in the honey-colored tea.

Fine heaved out a sigh. "Come on. Don't give up! You're just starting!" She exclaimed.

Shade chuckled, his eyes not leaving the cup. "So many times have I heard that from you but nothing happens. I'm always at the start, not moving, not progressing. I'm always stuck at the start. I was never able to finish anything." He breathed out.

Shade heard metal scraping and before he could figure it out, Fine moved closer and poked his forehead.

"Stupid. Are you giving up now? Then what do you think of all your achievements back then? Are you not the one who accomplished them?" She admonished, her fists placed on either side of her waist.

"You have a point." Shade smiled, pressing a palm on his forehead, wishing for the gentle pain to stay longer.

He stifled a laugh, confusing Fine. A second earlier he was brooding, now he's laughing. She could really never tell what's running on his mind.

"Fine…" He called, startling her slightly.

"H-huh?" Fine stammered.

"Do you think I can start again?" He asked.

Fine's eyes lit up. "Of course!" she cheered.

After that conversation, she heard nothing about him anymore. Two years passed and everyone had set foot on various directions.

Rein was an achiever. She pursued master's degree right after she graduated in college.

Bright was working under his dad's business.

Shade was last seen residing in an apartment near their former school but his neighbor's informed that the handsome young man left the city and went to who-knows-where.

Fine couldn't grasp why her feet took her to the place where they stumbled upon each other. She entered the small café, eyes darted on the students occupying the table where they last had a conversation.

Fine realized there's still a part of her that misses him.

"Hey…" she felt a hand poke her cheek.

Fine yelped and got into a defensive stance. Her body moved out of pure instinct.

She looked up and saw Bright. His crimson-red eyes a-dazzle with mirth, a hand clamped on his mouth as he bit down a snicker.

"Uh, sorry. Hi…" she sheepishly grinned.

The attractive blonde heaved out a sigh and raised a hand to pat her head. "How are you?" He asked.

Fine removed the hand on her head and shook it. "I'm okay, I guess." she answered with a shrug.

"Looking for a job, I see." Bright observed as he politely took the documents tucked in her arms.

"Ah…yeah…" Fine forced out a smile. "Do you want to continue the conversation sitting?" she offered, pulling out a chair.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I should be the one doing that." Bright mumbled, his pearl-white teeth bit down his lower lip. A blush dusted his cheeks which made him look insanely cute.

Fine realized that he always does that gesture whenever he's embarrassed.

"Do you want to apply in the company where I'm working?" Bright recommends, gesturing the waitress for the menu.

"I'm sorry?" Fine coughed out in surprise.

"The job is simple anyway." Bright shrugged. His nonchalant eyes bored on hers and it reminded her of Shade.

"So you mean doing countless paperwork is simple?!" Fine spluttered.

Bright chuckled, a smirk pulled the corners of his lips. "I just wanted to see your reaction and you never fail to amuse me." He spoke then winked.

"Wh-what?!" was all she could reply as she was too occupied fighting back a blush.

Bright and Fine dated for a few months but it did not turn out well. Bright, being the extremely caring guy he is, gave her back the freedom she needs.

One evening, she received a message from Rein saying that she'll return home to officially introduce his fiancée.

The news burned a permanent mark on Fine's heart. So, it was useless waiting, huh? He's going to marry Rein.

So he was in Tokyo all along.

Her heart couldn't take the pain. She slumped on her bed, her tears staining the pillows.

She wiped her tears and inhaled sharply.

She has to prepare to meet him tomorrow and give them a proper, congratulatory message.

The idea had an intensely bitter flavor in it. However... she can't hold any grudges against him or her sister.

But… who came that night was not Shade. It's a guy named Toma Kitagawa.

Certainly, the young man is on a different scale. He became a model at twelve and he owns an imaging studio. But, what about Shade? What happened to him?

Right after dinner, Fine took the opportunity to clarify things with Rein.

"Rein… can we talk?" Fine requested.

Rein followed her outside.

"Wh-who is that?" Her voice cracked.

"Toma-kun and I have been dating for over a year." Rein informed.

"Over a year? What happened to Shade?" Fine quietly asked, keeping an eye on the silver-haired guy who joined them outside.

Rein looked at her, puzzled. "Eh? Did he not tell you? We broke up three years ago."

Fine's eyes dilated as the words left her lips. "Three years ago?"

"Where did you get that?"

"Huh?"

"Those scratch on your cheek."

"Rein did it."

"What happened?"

"Clawed it because she thinks I'm cute."

He has been hiding it, all these years?

"He requested that he will be the one to tell you. I just respected his decision." Rein explained, exhaling deeply.

Fine sank on her knees. She shook her head in attempt to hide the tears. "But he didn't…" she choked out.

"Eh?" Rein's eyes grew wide.

"He didn't tell me…anything." Fine whimpered.

"Are you okay?" Toma asked, offering a hand.

Am I okay?

Rein decided to help her look for him. Three months passed and they finally got his current location.

And she saw him. Apparently, he's working in a mine.

Coals, twice his size, are slumped on his back.

Just like how he always shouldered all his fears, burdens and responsibilities.

Her eyes shifted to the side and lightly bit her lip in attempt to hide any sound threatening to escape her lips.

Several contusions decorated his body. Scars marred his prominent features.

With a low grunt, Shade dropped the coal on a wheelbarrow and his co-worker transferred it to a cart. Dusts mixed in the air. Fine blinked her eyes several times, tears dripped from her eyelids and slid down to her flushed cheeks.

"Hey, kid!" An old man called from behind. Shade brushed a hand on his unkempt hair and drearily turned.

"That's enough. Take a break." The old man beamed, giving him a pat on his bare shoulder.

"Ah… thank you, sir." Shade bowed and grabbed his shirt to wipe off the sweat and dirt on his skin.

He sauntered off towards her direction. Fine gasped, frantically searching for a corner to hide but it's too late.

She reluctantly lifted her head and their eyes met. His wide eyes glazed with layers of tears. Behind his nonchalant expression, there is sadness and shock.

She was so lost in his eyes. Her eyes brimmed with tears and she hurried to wipe them away.

"Gone to finish me off?" He grumbled, wrapping a hand around her wrist and pulled her to a safe corner.

"What?" Fine spluttered, pulling her wrist.

"You probably hate me too, don't you?" Shade huffed.

Her lip trembled as the words slowly made their way out of her mouth. "Yeah... I hate you," she blatantly replied, tears flowed unchecked and slid off her chin.

His eyes dilated. Her words were like knives piercing his chest. The pain was worse than the time he was rushed to the hospital. It felt like a cold bucket of water was poured on him.

Does he really want to let her go?

"Why didn't you ask for help? I could have done something to help you!" She ranted, throwing weak punches on his chest.

"You make me feel so worthless—" Before her knees collapsed, Shade placed his hands below her arms and gathered her close to his chest.

He pulled away slightly and looked at the coals staining her dress.

How can she do this to herself? Always moving out of her way just to show how much she cares.

It must be tiring, right? To be so generous for someone so ungrateful...

He hissed, his grip on her arms tightened.

"Worthless? You're joking, right? All my life you had been there for me..." Shade drawled, brushing a hand on her face wet with tears.

Fine gasped as his body towered over her small frame.

Brick by brick, his walls tumbled down.

"I felt so ashamed that I'm nothing without you…I'm sorry but I had to prove that I deserve you." He admitted. His face buried on her shoulders, hands clutching on the sleeves of her dress.

"I didn't know but when Rein hated me... I actually didn't care about it. But... if it's you..." he paused, releasing a quivering breath.

"I don't know what will happen to me without you, Fine. Please... don't hate me." Shade pleads as his hands found their way on her small waist, pulling her closer.

Fine felt her breath caught when tears tapped on her shoulder unceasingly. She held him quietly, brushing his hair comfortingly as he poured out raw emotions.

He lifted his head and allowed her to wipe away his tears.

"Fine…"

"Hmm?"

"Can I stay beside you?"

"Of course."

That's the last part. Next chapter is a series of crazy omakes.