If this chapter doesn't put it plainly enough, there will be no particular order to this series. While chapter one could have fit almost anywhere but best third year or later, this is explicitly second year.

November 1992

Harry was in pain. A lot of pain.

Skele-Gro was an amazing creation, capable of repairing broken bones in minutes or hours as opposed to weeks or months. It was even capable of regrowing completely missing bones, precisely why Harry was currently in the hospital wing thanks to two incompetent attempts to save his life.

If only it didn't make any muggle or magical effort to suppress pain potentially lethal. The best one could hope for was for the pain to knock them unconscious.

Harry groused. "Stupid arm. Stupid bludger. Stupid Quidditch. Stupid Dobby. Stupid Lockhart. Stupid Hogwarts."

Stopping his audible grumbling, Harry tried to focus on something other than the pain in his arm. When that didn't work, he tried to avoid thinking of anything related to the chain of events leading up to him needing to endure said pain.

Nothing worked.

"Stupid everything."

While he had overheard Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, and Madam Pomfrey talking about the Chamber of Secrets when they brought a petrified Colin Creevey in, their absence left him with nothing to distract him from the pain in his arm.

Harry had no idea if he had been lying awake for five minutes or five hours when his solitude was blissfully disturbed by Dumbledore again.

To Harry's dismay, the headmaster was followed promptly by Snape.

"Every one of my second years!" Snape seethed.

Harry was much more interested now.

"I am aware, Severus, of the plight of your second years. While finding who is responsible is important, seeing to their care must take precedence." Dumbledore tried to placate Snape.

At that moment, Madam Pomfrey returned to the infirmary. "What in the world happened, Headmaster?"

"Alas, while we are not entirely sure of the events that lead to our current situation, the result is that every Slytherin second year is in need of your care. Minerva, Filius, and Pomona are bringing them now."

Harry fought every urge to lean in to hear better for fear of being heard.

Madam Pomfrey gasped. "Every second year? What in the world happened?"

Snape was so angry he nearly hissed out, "Draco has had every bone in both arms vanished. Nott's legs are broken so it's like he has three knees all bending different directions. Zabini looks like he fell down a dozen flights of stairs. Crabbe's arms and legs have been switched with Goyle's and put on backwards. Parkinson's face looks like one giant pimple. Davis looks like she had every hair on her body plucked, one at a time. Roper's nose is the size of a broomstick. And Greengrass's ears are the size of a dragon's wings.

"Everything was done with esoteric spells that I've been unable to reverse."

Harry blinked in shock. Whoever had gotten ahold of Malfoy and his sycophants, had decided to be creative. Turning his attention back to the adults, Harry realized he had missed something Snape said.

"Now, Severus, I understand you believe it could have only been the Gryffindors after the events which transpired during and after today's Quidditch match. However, except for young Harry, every Gryffindor was accounted for in their tower during the time the incidents must have occurred."

Laying back with a smile on his face, Harry let himself drift off listening to the dulcet tones of Snape being absolutely furious and unable to find a way to take it out on his favourite target.

When Harry awoke the next morning, Hermione was sitting quietly in a chair beside his bed.

Taking in the moment, Harry watched his friend read a charms book he had never seen before. After several minutes, he cleared his throat.

Hermione jumped at the sound, looking for the culprit that disturbed her reading. Upon seeing Harry looking at her, a little worse for the wear after his painful night of regrowing thirty-three bones, Hermione launched into a torrent of questions.

"Harry!" she cried out. "How are you feeling? Is your arm healed? I've read that Skele-Gro is particularly painful when you have to regrow multiple bones as opposed to just healing breaks. Is it true that Madam Pomfrey couldn't give you anything for the pain? Do you need me to take notes for you in class? What about your books, do you need me to get them-"

"Hermione!" Harry interjected, causing her to stop her seemingly endless stream of questions."I'm fine. Other than being a little short of sleep, I'm fine. Madam Pomfrey should be in soon to tell me how long I have to be careful. I can't answer anything else until then."

She flushed at being called out. She tried to curtail her habit of spewing questions without waiting for answers. When it came to Harry, it was particularly hard to control herself.

"Anyway," he continued, "have you heard anything about what happened last night?"

When Hermione flushed, Harry narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"I was awake when they brought Colin in, saying the monster in the Chamber of Secrets attacked him."

Hermione nodded. "Professor Dumbledore told everyone at breakfast this morning. Everyone is really starting to get worried."

Harry waited for her to continue. When she didn't, he asked, "What about Malfoy and the other Slytherins that they brought in last night?"

All of a sudden, Hermione found her lap very interesting. After a bit of hesitation, she answered. "Professor Dumbledore mentioned something about that, too."

"And why do you look like you want the universe to swallow you up instead of talking about it?"

"Because they were laughing about you being in the hospital wing overnight and it got me so mad!" Hermione blurted out. "If they thought it was funny then I thought they deserved to have a laugh at themselves!"

Harry sighed. Reaching out he pulled a petulant Hermione to him. Harry took a moment to collect his thoughts, using the opportunity to lay a kiss on the top of her head. "You've got to stop doing this. Eventually someone is going to piece together that you're the one that keeps putting everyone in the hospital wing. Sure, Malfoy is a git and Snape's sneering could power a small country, but you can't do this every single time. Just because someone checked out a book you want or said something nasty about me doesn't give you the right to test the limits of Madam Pomfrey's skill. Replacing Snape's hands with cloven hooves was funny, but it took her a week to fix it and we could have class again.

"We have got to find a way to get you to cut back. I'm not sure we could get you to stop, so maybe cutting back is enough for now."

Harry let loose another sigh. "I still don't know whether or not to praise your creativity."

Had Harry been paying attention, he might have realized his miniature lecture was being completely ignored in favor of Hermione trying to happily burrow deeper into his side. Apparently, Harry kisses to her crown were especially nice.

Just another little excuse to let our adorably violent Hermione loose on the second most irredeemable character in canon, Draco Malfoy. Snape will get his comeuppance later.

If you enjoyed this or have ideas for situations where the implied agreement might come into play, please leave a review or send a PM.