"Military school? Are you fucking insane?" I shrieked.

"Rosemarie calm yourself, you're acting like a child!" said my bitch of a mother.

"You're trying to get rid of me aren't you? You should win the prize for mother of the fucking year" i said with as much hate as i could.

I cant believe it, my own mother, after everything I've been through in the last two months, she saw me as a burden!

"Rose, i think this would be good for you, after everything that's happend, you need some fresh air & a new environment, you cant be locked in your room forever."

The way she said that so calmly made me sick then again these days what didn't make me sick.

"There's nothing - "

"Let me finish Rosemarie, you dont eat, you dont sleep & when you do you wake up in sweats screaming, you haven't been to school in two months-"

"Can you blame me? they think i KILLED him mom. The second i walked into the classroom everyone glared at me, they called me a murderer, they said it was my fault" my voice slowly started to tremble.

"Rose you didn't kill him, you were willing to give your life for him."

Suddenly the flashbacks of that day came shooting at me. "Slow down Mason!" was the only thing i could manage to scream.

"This is a RACE Rose, the point is to go fast"

"You're drunk, you dont know what the fuck you're doing, pull over & give me the damn keys Mason" i said trying to get him to stop the car.

"Get off of me Rose, we're going to win" said Mason while pushing me back to my seat.

"oh my god Mason you're going to get us killed"

"I'm warning you Hathaway, shut up before i throw you out -"

Everything from then on was a blur, i felt something shatter my ear drums, i opened my eyes & saw a car coming right towards us, i was bracing myself for the impact when i felt it, one car was coming towards us & one from behind.

At that point i accepted that i was going to die, there was no way i was getting out of her with my life. I looked over at Mason, there was a huge gash on his neck & he was covered in blood.i I realized we were upside down in the car, our heads hanging down and hitting the top. I screamed as loud as i could hoping someone would hear me. nothing happend. I undid my seat belt & fell down with a huge THUMP.

I was in so much pain but i had to keep going, i had to save Mason.

I was trying to breathe when the smell hit me, gasoline.

The car was going to burst into flames any minute.

"MASON LOOK AT ME" i saw his had twitch. He was alive. oh my god he was alive, there was still a chance we could get out of this.

He looked at me & i think that's when it hit me that he was dying. He was choking on his own blood.

"MASON PLEASE BE STRONG, IM GOING TO GET YOU, YOU'RE GOING TO BE OKAY, JUST LOOK AT ME, DONT FALL ASLEEP" i pleaded. I was completely hysterical at this point. i was trying to open the doors but they were jammed.

i was throwing myself at them & groaning as i ignored the sharp pain in my ribs.

I was finally able to break a window, i cried as i got out ignoring the glass piercing my skin. "FUCKKKK" i was on my hands & knees on the street.

I crawled over Mason. He was still breathing but fading quickly.

"rose, I'm so sorry.."
"No Mason, its okay, its not you're fault, you're going to be okay" i cried.
"Rose please dont hate me" he was struggling to breathe at this point.
"Mase, Mase look at me, you're going to be okay"
"Rose, I'm going to die, I'm okay with that, I'm in so much pain, i just want it to go away"
"Mason please dont" i was screaming at him, i didn't want to touch him.
"I love you Rose, you're the best friend i could ask for, noone can take that away, you're so amazing -" he started to cough "dont ever let anyone tell you other wise" He closed his eyes & just let go.
"Mason no wake up please" i was shaking him hoping the pain would bring him back"
I felt someone grab me & i started yelling.
"HELP HIM PLEASE, SOMEONE HELP HIM"

After that i remember waking up in a white noisy room, i looked up & saw all the machines i was connected to.
I dont know how long i had been out. Then i remembered. Mason. The car. Blood. A nurse walked in & i started shrieking

"Wheres Mason? Is he okay? Please tell me he's okay" i cried.

They tranquilized me & 2 weeks later i was good to go. My mom had therapist & physiatrist talk to me about what happend. I would just sit there, i didn't talk, i didn't move. i didn't want to remember. After my experience on the first day i was back in school i decided i didn't want to go.
I was being home schooled instead. My life changed so much in those two weeks, Hell in those 10 minutes in the car. I became so angry with myself, i refused to eat or go out. I hardly slept anymore, & when i did sleep i had these heartbreaking nightmares of that night, the night of the accident. It's not something i enjoy talking about.

"Rose? Rose are you okay?" said my mom while shaking me.
"I'm fine mother." i said coldly.
"Your cab will be here at 9am tomorrow, pack everything & please be on time. Try not to make a scene and here's the guideline book, read over it & make sure you're not breaking any rules." she said while walking away.

I snorted at her & walked up to my room.
I cant believe this, she was shipping me off to some school because she thought i was crazy. I got my suitcases out of my closet & started packing. 2 hours later i was done & exhausted.
I threw myself on the bed & grabbed the guideline book.

Students will show respect and be considerate to everyone.
- no piercings - no cellphones - no mp3's - no computers - no weapons - no tattoos

that's when one of my brilliant Rose ideas hit me.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this kid?"

"If i didn't i wouldn't be here smart one, go get your little gun & start breaking skin.

"You sure are a feisty one aren't you" said the grungy guy while starting my tattoo.

I decided to get the words "Just Breathe" on my wrist.

i hate being told what to do & what to have so think of this as my way of being a rebel.

i would have to cover the tattoo everyday with foundation but nevertheless, it would still be there. "Alright you're all done, it came out pretty good" he said confidently. I gazed down at my wrist & sure enough it was done. it was beautiful, i fell in love with it the moment i saw it. i grinned like an idiot while paying & walking home.

I tried to be as quiet as i could while sneaking back in through my window without my mother hearing, the last thing i needed was her to barge into my room & look at what i had done. I took a quick shower & threw on some shorts & a tank top. I fell back on my bed hoping i would get some sleep tonight.