Part 2
Her mouth was hanging open while he shut the door quietly and left. She stood there in shock until she heard his car pull away.
Had she heard him right? Surely he didn't just say the painting was of her. Did he? What did it mean? Why on earth would Paul LaHote paint a picture of her? And why would he keep it all these years? Why would he put it in a place of prominence at his show? Why would he let her buy it? Again, what did it all mean?
Bella took the packaging off of the painting and put it on the mantle over the fireplace. Then she just stood there, for what felt like forever, staring at it. The longer she studied it, the more she could see what Jake was talking about. The slender shape of the girl matched hers when she was younger. She gazed at the painting, trying to figure out when it would have been done. Looking at the flowers around her feet and noticing the length of hair that fell to the girl's waist brought her mind back to one of the most important moments of her life.
It was a rare, sunny day in Forks. She was leaving for UDub to study in the nursing program the next day and she knew she had to visit that place one last time before she left, had to put the past behind her before she could begin her future.
She'd gone there to say goodbye. Goodbye to him and to a young girl who had made so many mistakes. She still thought back on that day from time to time and it always brought a smile to her face. It was the day she'd rediscovered herself. It was the day she had finally let go of Edward Cullen and all the hurt he'd brought into her life. The freedom she'd embraced had been exhilarating.
That day in the meadow, she'd been ready to move on, to reclaim the person she'd been before the supernatural had invaded her life and changed her into someone she hadn't recognized. Standing there, she'd known she had a long road ahead of her and that was ok. She'd looked forward to it. There had been a new determination inside her: to live the life that she was meant to live. She'd been secure in her friendship with Jake and in the fact that her dad loved her completely. Charlie had been nearly bursting with pride at the thought of her getting away from Edward and making a life for herself. Thoughts of her dad are what had put the smile on her face. She'd wanted to please him, to build a life that he would be proud of, and she couldn't wait to get on with it. That had been a perfect day and it was obvious on her face, in reality and in the painting that Paul had done.
That painting...she spent the night tossing and turning thinking about it, about why he would have given it to her like that, about why he would have painted it in the first place. She had finally fallen asleep in the wee hours of the morning but the first rays of light that fell across her face woke her. Knowing she wouldn't sleep anymore, she rubbed her bleary eyes and made her way downstairs to join her father for breakfast. "Morning, Dad. How are you today?"
He made his way over to her, placing a soft kiss on her forehead before handing her a cup of coffee. "Mornin' sweetheart. I'm great now that my little girl is home for good. You want some bacon with your eggs?"
That was Charlie-don't waste time with emotional displays when you could avoid it. She didn't mind; she even understood. Just because he didn't feel comfortable making physical overtures, didn't mean he didn't feel the emotion.
She knew how much her father loved her and she tried to never take it for granted the way she had at one time. In fact, she could say they had finally come to an understanding about one another. She had a lot of regrets where he was concerned, not the least of which had to do with the fact that she should have returned to Forks long before she had as a teenager.
She whole-heartedly believed that if she'd grown up with Charlie, instead of Renee, she would have never made the mistake of getting involved with Edward Cullen. For that's what it was: a mistake. One she would never make again. She knew herself better now and, more importantly, she valued herself more than she had then. Never again would she allow someone to manipulate and control her like that.
"So, I saw the painting in the living room. I guess the show was a success last night, then? If everything looked as good as that one, then I'd say it was." Charlie went back to cooking his breakfast as he waited for her to reply.
"Yeah, I was honestly floored by it all. To think that Paul, Paul Lahote, is able to create art that beautiful is mind-boggling. Who would have ever thought someone with his background could do that?" Bella didn't mention what Jake had told her but it wouldn't surprise her to find out that her dad knew the girl in the painting was her. He was just good like that, even if he would never say anything about it.
"Well, he's not the same person he used to be, Bells. He's changed a lot. Whatever happened to those boys when they were younger made a difference in him. He was in the back of my cruiser plenty of times as a kid. I wondered if he would ever be able to overcome the troubles of his childhood." He paused for a second then shook his head before picking up the spatula again.
"His father was a tyrant and his mother was worthless. Neither of them ever did anything right by that boy, only thought of themselves. Many times I saw bruises on him and there was nothing I could do about it. The Tribal Council tried to take care of things on their own in those days and Paul paid the price for that. Someone should have done something to help that boy. But nobody did."
"He learned to take care of himself and fight his way out of everything. It used to bother me a lot that I'd have to arrest him because I just felt so sorry for the kid. I let him off with as much as I could but he was stubborn, liked to push every single boundary he could. I'm just glad he didn't end up in more trouble than he did."
Charlie sat a cup of coffee down alongside his plate and began to eat but continued his story, "Seemed like when he started hanging around with Sam, he got better. Don't know what changed but something did. Now, he's as calm as can be, even if he does still have that spark in his eyes. I think he's just learned to cover it up, control it maybe. All I know is that he's a good man. I'm real proud of who he's become."
Bella was stunned. She didn't think she'd ever heard her father say so much at one time. And especially not about someone outside their family. It sounded like Charlie knew a lot more about Paul than he'd let on. But then, that's Charlie in a nutshell. Every time Bella thought she had him figured out, he threw something unexpected at her.
His thoughts on Paul answered so many of the questions she'd had over the years though. She'd wondered why he was so aggressive and angry when they were kids. Bella had tried to figure him out and, if she were honest with herself, she could admit that she had always felt some kind of weird pull toward him. She would never have acted on it then but she'd found him attractive from the very first day she'd laid eyes on him, despite her slapping him. He just always seemed to be more than what other people thought of him.
She considered those thoughts all day, through straightening up Charlie's house to getting her laundry caught up, on the drive to La Push, and while joining her friends on the beach. She had been so excited to see everyone again but through the hellos and welcomes that she appreciated hearing, she'd known Paul was off to the side, hanging out with the rest of the Pack. After helping Emily and Sue get the food set up, she'd taken a plate to a log by the fire and sat down, preparing to eat. She felt eyes on her again and decided not to ignore him this time. Bella tilted her head up and looked at him, while he just smiled at her and gave her a brief nod of acknowledgement. Awareness had flowed through her from the moment she stepped out of the car. Several times, she'd looked his way and found his eyes on her, following her as she moved through the crowd of people. As dusk turned to dark, she continued to feel his presence though she couldn't explain how. Someone had set up an old boombox radio and several couples were already swaying to the music.
She is so beautiful. Paul watched Bella as she moved around the tables, helping Sue clean up the food. Her graceful movements made him want to sit here all night and just watch her. Emotion swelled inside his chest and he knew that he was going to have to talk to her soon. He thought of what life might be like having her live here full time, how great it would be to see her as often as he wanted. How hard it would be to see her and not act on the impulse to reach out to her, to touch her..to love her. Be patient, Lahote. Just be patient.
Another song began on the radio behind him and he had to bite back a smile. Quil still razzed him about singing it one day while he was on patrol, when he thought he was by himself. Yeah, it was a chick song but he didn't care; it always made him think of Bella. He let his eyes wander back to where she was sitting across the fire as the lyrics floated through the air:
When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well, there's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?
He loved just watching her. Just being near her soothed his soul. Literally. Everything else seemed to fade away when he was around her. Vampires, Pack issues, deadlines…all of it, just gone. He knew she could feel him looking at her; her body was unconsciously turned toward him and her eyes swept to the side intermittently. He wondered if she had any idea why she was so drawn to him. He knew he would have to tell her soon. He was determined that things would change now that she was home. The chorus of the song gave voice to the reason behind his determination:
Well, I won't give up on us
God knows I'm tough enough
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
And he would.
Her eyes searched the dark for him once more while she sat with Jake and Leah, discussing her plans to join the clinic where Sue practiced next week and whether or not some of the Pack would be able to help her move her stuff into the apartment over Quil's family's store before then. They were allowing her to live there rent free for the first six months, saying that if she was going to agree to move to a small reservation to work for peanuts when she could have stayed in a larger city like Seattle and actually make some money, then the least the people of the tribe could do is help her out with her rent for a while. As long as she left a pie or two on Old Quil's doorstep every once in a while, that is. He'd said that with a sly little grin that made her see where Quil got his teasing nature from.
Bella had been ecstatic and took their offer. She planned to pay them the rent on the sly anyway, but the apartment would be perfect for her. It was close enough to the clinic that she could walk unless it was pouring buckets and near enough to help Jake out with Billy when he needed it. With as much time as her father spent in La Push, he'd had no problem with the decision. Charlie knew he'd probably see her more often than he would have if she'd lived in Port Ange and he was just happy to have her home. He'd probably agree to just about anything if it kept her near him.
Her dad's laughter brought Bella back to the present and she realized she'd been staring straight through the fire at Paul while thinking through everything that happened in the week since she'd been home. She dropped her gaze but immediately brought it back to his, trying to figure out what his eyes were trying to say.
She couldn't helpthe little jolt went through her when she realized he'd been staring back at her the entire time, not tearing his eyes away even when a blush had colored her cheeks. Any normal person wouldn't have been able to see it but she knew his enhanced sight would be able to see every little thing about her.
Out of loyalty to Paul, Bella knew that none of the rest of the Pack would answer any of the questions she had swirling around in her head about the painting, so she decided to throw caution to the wind and look the wolf in the face herself, so to speak. Gathering her feeble courage, she stood and slowly made her way to his side of the fire. Looking completely relaxed, he had his legs stretched out in front of him and cradled a drink in his hand. She wondered if he'd moved much at all that night but was sure that his wolf reflexes would have him on his feet in the blink of an eye if need be.
She plopped herself down in the sand next to him and turned her head to the side to sneak a peek at him. She saw a small smile pull his cheeks up and decided to turn fully and look at him. He really was a very attractive man. That thought put the blush back in her cheeks and she turned away from him once again.
"What's up, chica?" The lazy tone in his voice would have had her relaxing except the intensity in his black eyes had her looking closer. When she didn't respond, he tried again, "Something on your mind, Bella?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, there is. You. You're on my mind. And have been since I walked out of that gallery last night with a painting of a girl who looks eerily similar to what I see in the mirror every morning. Not to mention that my best friend told me that it is me and that you painted it a long time ago. I'm just confused about it all. Why would you paint a picture of me and, more importantly, why would you have done it all those years ago when we didn't even know each other?" Without realizing it, Bella had turned completely around to face him with her leg touching his knee and her hand on his arm.
Paul's eyes moved around the fire in what seemed like a casual glance, but she understood it was to see who was listening in on their conversation. Jake and Leah were trying to pretend they were only talking to one another, Embry had his eyes on the fire, and Quil was pretty much staring right at them, intent on every word they spoke.
"It is you in the painting. You were that girl I saw in the woods that day. It changed my life, Bella. You did. In one small moment, you showed me what had been missing in my life, what I realized I wanted more than anything else. Peace. I'd never known what it looked like on someone, not with the upbringing I had, but I saw it on the face of a young girl of eighteen who was bent on embracing life and pulling from it every bit of happiness available to her. I didn't know anyone could do that after what you'd been through. Honestly, it knocked me on my butt."
Paul let his eyes drop down to the cup in his hands but his voice remained firm as he spoke to her, "To see you going after your dreams like that when the year before, I wondered if you would jump off the cliffs and end it all…that changed something in me, Bella. I just couldn't understand how you could have let that..." His jaw tensed with anger for a minute then he seemed to shake it off and continue, "how you could have let him do that to you. It disgusted me. You deserved so much better than him. You were so sad it broke the heart I didn't believe I had." His voice changed again from one filled with sorrow at the condition she'd been in to jaw-clenching anger at his mention of Edward to amusement.
"Then, when you slapped me, it made me wonder if maybe, just maybe, that weak willed little girl actually did have a backbone. I almost smiled when you hit me that day. Yeah, I was mad because a little slip of a girl like you thought she could take me on, but I admired you so freaking much for standing up for Jake like you did. Until I realized that I was completely jealous because no one had ever fought for me that way. I wanted to yell at you and tell you to get your head out of Edward's butt and get on with your life but I figured you pretty much hated me by that point so I just left it alone."
"Then I literally ran across you that day in the meadow. I wanted to phase so bad and talk to you but I was afraid of all the crap rolling around in my brain, so I just laid my head on my paws and watched you. It was so restful. If I hadn't been so intrigued with what you were doing, I probably would have fallen asleep right there in the woods."
"Yeah right, you didn't fall asleep 'cause you knew Sam would have kicked the crap out of you for it." Quil's sarcastic voice reminded her that even though it had felt like they were in a bubble by themselves, they weren't. They were surrounded by half the tribe, a Pack with supernatural hearing, and her father, who was glancing their way at that very moment.
"Shut the..." Paul leveled a look at Quil that would have ripped the hide off anyone else but Quil just grinned right back at him, daring him to finish his sentence. "Shut your face, Quil, before I shut it for you."
"Ooooh, I'm soooo scared." Quil held his hands up and shook them like he was scared to death. It might have been believable except for the mischief gleaming in his eyes and the big goofy grin on his face.
Paul just shook his head and she swore she heard the word 'Moron' come from his mouth before he bounded to his feet. He held his hand out to her and asked, "You wanna talk a walk down the beach, away from the rest of these idiots?"
Bella was a little intimidated by the thought of being alone with him and glanced over at Jake. He had a thoughtful look on his face but sent her a smile of reassurance. He gave her a brief nod that let her know that she would be fine.
"Ok," she said as she looked back up at Paul. Bella put her hand in his and let him pull her to her feet. He kept hold of her hand while he helped her around the fire, probably remembering the klutz she used to be. His hand was warm on hers and standing right next to him, she couldn't help but take a deep breath, drawing in his scent. He smelled so good and she had the sudden urge to press right up to his chest and bury her nose there.
Quil's voice drifted toward them, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, Bella. You know our wolfy sex appeal is hard to resist. Watch out for those roving hands of his; this is Paul LaHote you are heading off into the dark with." Yep, there it is, Bella thought. You could always count on Quil to make a weird situation downright uncomfortable.
Bella snuck a peek at Paul and knew he was getting ready to give Quil the beat down he was obviously asking for but she put a hand on his arm before looking up at him with a little wink and saying, "Quil, I would never do anything you would do and we all know the reason you like being in the dark is because you don't want a girl to see what things actually look like, down there." Even though it embarrassed her to do so, Bella let her gaze fall quickly toward his lap before raising back up to look in his eyes with a quirk of her brow.
Everyone near them busted out laughing and Seth aimed an 'Ooooh, she got you, Bro' at him. She gave a little impish shrug to her shoulders before turning and following Paul toward the water. She could hear Quil describing in great detail the last time a girl had seen his goods, stressing that there was nothing little about the sounds she made as he—
Bella tuned him out right there, not wanting to hear even another syllable of that. She was laughing to herself as they made their way down the sand. She turned to Paul, finding him glaring over his shoulder at Quil and clenching his jaw in anger.
"Hey, it's ok, I promise. You know after this many years, not much Quil says surprises me. He is a moron." Her hand once again landed on his arm and she realized that Paul was still holding her the other hand. She glanced up to see what was on his face and found him staring down at her.
He lifted their joined hands and raised an eyebrow at her, "Do you mind?"
"N-No, I guess not. It's getting chilly out here, I'm sure I'll probably need the warmth to keep my teeth from chattering." She smiled up at him to let him know that even though she was nervous, she really didn't mind. And she didn't. In fact, it felt kind of...nice.
"Well, Emily always calls Sam her electric blanket, so don't be afraid to let me know if you need me to be yours. And I promise not to pull a Quil and try to cop a feel in the meantime." His teasing grin put her at ease once again.
She just laughed and said, "Ok."
They walked for a while in silence, neither saying much and definitely lost in their own thoughts. Bella still couldn't believe this was Paul she was walking down the beach with, totally relaxed, and knowing beyond any doubt that he would take care of her. She didn't know how she knew, but she was positive she did. Paul had looked like he was going to say something several times but then would just shake his head and clamp his lips back together.
"What is it, Paul? You can tell me. I won't bite, I promise." She smiled until she heard "I wish" being said under his breath. Bella didn't know what to make of that one so she left it completely alone.
"I don't know where to start. So much of my life is different than when you lived here before. I'm different." He squeezed her hand and gently pulled her back into a walk.
"Tell me why. Admittedly, I don't know much about you but I'd like to understand. Jake told me once that you had a pretty rough time growing up." Bella squeezed his hand in return to let him know she wanted to hear what he had to say. "He didn't go into specifics but having the mother I do, and knowing how parents can screw up your life, I suspect that your parents had something to do with why you were so angry all the time."
Bella let her hair fall down to give herself a little privacy for her next confession. "I was so intimidated every time I was around you, even with Jake. I figured you hated me for slapping you and I wanted to apologize about a million times but I could never work up the courage to actually do it."
"It's no big deal, Bella. I mean, it's not like you hurt me or anything. Well, not physically anyway. The fact that a ninety pound lightweight stood up to me like that wounded my wolfy pride a little. I did have to put up with endless cracks from Quil about getting my behind handed to me by a girl. Let's just say that Sam had to break up more than one fight; Quil's lucky he's still alive to tell about it. But I have to admit, as much as it jacked me up that you would stand up to me, I respected you so much for doing it. No one had ever done that before. People didn't mess with me. I had a reputation and it was based on the fact that I never passed up a chance to prove I was tougher than everyone else."
From the corner of her eye, Bella saw that he let his chin fall so he was looking down at the sand. "Bella, I'm not proud of it at all but I liked the fact that people were scared of me. I enjoyed pounding a guy's face in. It was the only power I had in my life, the only thing I could control. That was true long before I started sharing my body with an animal and it became even more true afterwards. Phasing probably saved my life. Or at least saved me from spending my life locked inside a cell. There's no telling what would have happened if I hadn't phased. I probably would have ended up in some sort of gang doing only God knows what."
She was glad to see that his lips turned up into a smile before he explained what he meant. "Instead, I got something I'd never had: a family. Brothers who knew the real me and accepted me anyway. They saw inside my head and they didn't turn away from me like everyone else had. They let me be me. And I found a direction for all the rage that constantly rolled around inside me. For the first time, it was ok to let it out, encouraged even. That's where that ridiculous nickname came from. I enforced the rules and the rule was that if a bloodsucker came anywhere near here, we were to obliterate it. I was good at it and we developed a reputation in the vamp world: stay away from our lands, otherwise they might not make it through the eternity they were so sure they had available to them."
Bella shivered, thinking of Edward. She couldn't help the relief that flowed through her, once again, that the Cullens were no longer a part of her life. What a mistake it would have been for her to marry him. She shook her head and said the same out loud to Paul, "I can't believe I ever thought I could be a part of that world. To think that me, Bella the Klutz Swan, could ever keep up with an immortal. I still can't decide whether it was the height of stupidity or just plain arrogance that convinced me that I belonged with them."
Paul stopped walking and turned toward her, bending down a bit so he could look directly into her eyes. "Bella, it wasn't your fault. That's what they do. They're manipulative creatures whose entire existence is based on being able to fool the human population into thinking that they fit in. That's how they exist in our world and it's how they stay alive. They feed on people's naïve belief in them. Literally." His eyes were intense but Bella knew the truth.
It had been her own stubbornness that refused to allow her to admit that she'd made a mistake in not asking Jake and his friends for help in getting away from the Cullens. "Well, whatever it was, I'm glad Jake finally talked some sense into me. And glad that Edward cared enough about me to let me go." She shivered again, wanting to talk about something else and leave the past where it belonged-in the past.
"Are you cold? Do you wanna head back so you can warm up by the fire?" Paul's voice was neutral and Bella couldn't tell whether that's what he really wanted or if he was just suggesting it to give her an out.
Either way, she knew it was probably smart. For all that they'd shared, she and Paul still didn't really know one another that well and her dad was probably starting to worry about her. Even if he'd gotten himself into Old Quil's Rez shine, which she suspected he had, he would still be worrying about the fact that his little girl had gone off alone with a boy. "Yeah, my dad is probably wondering where I went. He'll send out a search party soon, in the form of Jake or Quil. Or both. We'd definitely better head back." She felt a grin spread across her face, letting him know she was amused at the fact that even though she was twenty-five years old, her dad wouldn't hesitate to send one of the wolves to look for them.
They walked back at a leisurely pace, talking about nothing and everything along the way. Finally, they reached the edge of the area where the Pack had set up for the bonfire, laughing at the fact that Billy and Charlie were 'dancing' to the 80's rock that was blaring from the radio.
Billy was moving his wheelchair back and forth in small bursts of movement that Bella assumed was supposed to mimic dance steps and Charlie was playing air guitar and singing in a very off-key voice about someone shaking him all night long or some such nonsense. Bella just shook her head and wrapped an arm around her dad's waist, "Ok there, Slash, let's get going. I think it's time for you to put your guitar away for the night and call off your groupies. Let me take you home."
Charlie looked at her in surprise, "Bells! There you are, I wondered where you'd gone off to. You didn't let this young whipper snapper get frisky, did you? And I'll have you know that wasn't Slash, that was Angus Young and he helped me get plenty of dates back in my day. I wath hot stuth."
"Ooookay then, let's put your guitar away for the night and get you home. Don't you have the early shift in the morning?" Her eyebrow quirked up in question.
"Crap. Yeah, I do. Well William, as much as I hate to break up the band, my kid is right, I gotta be on duty by 0700 tomorrow morning so I'd better grab some shut eye." He handed Billy the piece of wood he'd been 'playing' and turned toward the parking lot. He tripped over something, probably his own feet, and Bella reached out to catch him, wondering how in the world she'd get him into the truck if he passed out now.
Strong toffee colored arms wrapped around both her and Charlie, preventing them from pitching face-first into the sand. "Whew, thanks for the save there, Lahote. 'Preciate it. But you'd better get your paws off my daughter before I remove them myself. Paws..get it?" Charlie let out a loud guffaw, "Jeez, I crack myself up!"
"Yeah, yeah, you and what army there, Chief? I'm betting I could knock you over with a feather right now. And I doubt you'd be getting back up anytime soon with the condition you're in." It was obvious by the tone of Paul's voice he was teasing him. Everyone sitting there knew, given Paul's supernatural strength, Charlie couldn't do a thing to Paul unless Paul allowed him to.
"Hey, I won't always be drunk and even when I am, I can hit a target dead on at twenty paces. Don't you forget that, wolthboy." He meant for the threat to sound menacing but the way his tongue slirred around the end definitely let everyone know he wouldn't be hitting any kind of target anytime soon.
Paul helped Bella wrestle Charlie into the passenger seat of her truck then shut the door before he could fall out. They both laughed as they walked around to the other side of the truck, where he opened the door for Bella. "So...I was wondering..what would you say to having dinner with me soon? I still feel like we have a lot to talk about and you know guys use any excuse to eat. Can I take you out tomorrow? We could go to this little Italian bistro I know of in Port Ange that has a red sauce that will make you sigh in ecstasy." His lips quirked and he lifted an eyebrow at her as he tilted his head in question.
"Dinner? In Port Angeles? Hmm..." Bella couldn't help messing with him a bit, "Wellll, normally I don't like anyone's red sauce but mine but if it's good enough to make the great Paul Lahote sigh in ecstasy, then I guess I'd better give it a try." She smiled at him, giving his arm a little shove.
He just hung his head a bit and sniffed out a laugh, "So, what time would be good for you? Have you gotten things settled into your apartment over the store yet? We could make it another night, if you need to." Now he seemed a little unsure of himself. Bella found that incredibly attractive, that Ladies' Man Lahote would be nervous about a nobody like her accepting his dinner invitation. She found it oddly endearing.
Bella decided to help him out, "I can't move into the apartment until Sunday afternoon. Quil said something about a water line? I don't know. I'd be worried about it but he said Embry was going to be the one fixing it so I trust that it will get done quickly. And be right."
"Hey! I heard that! I'll have you know I'm the best plumber in all of Forks! And don't you forget it, honey!" Quil's voice faded away as Jake reached over to whack him on the back of the head. Paul heard the words 'Shut up and leave them alone, you idiot' but he wasn't going to tell Bella that her best friend was trying to run interference for him. It would just embarrass her. Then again, he loved it when she got all shy around him and that blush came out. Maybe he would tell her, just to see it happen.
Paul opened his mouth to speak but Bella interrupted him, "So, tomorrow should be good. Can you come pick me up about 6? I don't think this monster can be trusted to make it all the way to Port Angeles so I hope you have a reliable vehicle hidden around here somewhere."
"Don't worry, I'll take care of it. I'll be there around six and I'll make the reservation for seven, if that's ok." His voice was still quiet and she couldn't help staring at his mouth as he spoke. The five o'clock shadow he had going on was pretty sexy and his rough voice was very attractive. She felt like she could just sit and listen to him talk for the rest of the night.
His eyes fell to her lips and he leaned toward her. For a second, Bella thought he was going to touch his lips to hers but he just placed a soft kiss on her cheek. He lingered there against her skin for a second and her heart tripped over itself in surprise. Immediately, she had this ridiculous impulse to turn her mouth toward his to see if he would taste as good as she imagined he did.
"Goodnight, Bella."
She barely heard the whisper of his words as he pulled away. He let his eyes drop to her mouth once again before he slowly turned back toward the beach, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans as he walked away.
"Night." Her voice was barely audible, even to her own ears, but he seemed to hear it because he glanced at her over his shoulder and smiled again before rejoining his friends by the fire.
"You gonna drive us home or just stand there gawkin' all night? Come on, Bells, I gotta get some shut eye before my shift starts in the morning. Besides, now you know you'll see him tomorrow night." Charlie was slouched down in the seat, legs splayed out in front of him with his head resting on the back of the seat but tipped in her direction.
Bella felt the blood rush to her cheeks as she climbed in the truck and put the key in the ignition. She'd actually forgotten her father was in the truck and had stood there far longer than necessary watching Paul walk back to the beach. Charlie was quiet on the drive back to Forks and Bella didn't say much either, lost as she was in the thoughts of all that had happened in the last 24 hours.
After parking the Chevy in the driveway, she went around to help Charlie out of the truck and up the stairs then into his bedroom. She had no doubt she would hear the ratcheting sound of his snores almost immediately.
She took her time getting ready for bed. Bella knew it would be a while before she fell asleep. She tended to not be able to close her eyes if something was weighing heavily on her mind. And tonight it was. And the weight had a name: Paul Lahote. A guy who had surprised her in every way possible since she'd returned to Forks.
After brushing her teeth and changing into her pajamas, Bella crawled under the covers to get warm. She supposed it was unavoidable that her next thought was that she wouldn't have any trouble getting warm if she had a pair of strong arms wrapped around her. In the distance, the soulful howl of a wolf sounded and she wondered who was on patrol, whether the animal was near her house or still in the vicinity of La Push.
She drifted off thinking that she was actually really excited about her 'date' with Paul tomorrow; about how much he'd changed, how much calmer he was and how his features had grown into the angles and planes that defined a man; and about how it felt to have his soft lips pressed against her skin before he'd walked away tonight. Bella reached up to touch her cheek, imagining that she could still feel the warmth of his mouth on her. And she floated away to a place where she could dream about him, without the questions and uncertainty.
The next afternoon found Bella driving herself nuts! I mean really, how many outfits could a girl try on before she exhausted all her possibilities and just gave up? she thought to herself. She didn't have that many clothes to begin with and here she was, flinging one thing this way and another that way. Her room looked like a bomb had gone off: every single item of clothing she owned was draped over a surface other than where it was supposed to be. Pantyhose were strewn across the desk, shirts flung on the floor under her window, and the few skirts she owned were tossed across her bed like a quilt.
She glanced at the clock again (for the ten thousandth time in the past 30 minutes). Come on, Bella, it's not like some fashionista is gonna jump out of the IPod dock and give you advice on which sweater goes with which skirt. Just put on an outfit and get on with it! Ok, so she was getting on her own nerves; she could only imagine what Charlie was thinking as he sat in the living room, listening to her pace back and forth in her room.
She heard a throaty kind of roar outside her window and panicked. Hurrying over to look out, she didn't realize that she was still in nothing but her lacy bra and panties. That didn't seem to register in her brain because she was too busy drooling over the car that Paul was currently stepping out of. Did he realize he was driving her dream car? A maroon Camaro Z-28 with black racing stripes and an SS insignia on the back. The wheels were shiny enough that she thought they might just be able to eat their dinner off of them. It was absolutely freaking perfect!
Paul seemed to notice her standing there and glanced up. His eyes went wide and a devilish little smirk tipped his lips on the left side. He just raised his eyebrow and stood there for a second staring at her.
Ah, crap! Bella jerked back from the window after realizing that he could pretty much see everything she was wearing. Or not wearing, as the case may be. She ran over and grabbed the first thing that her hands landed on: a black sweater dress with a cowl neck. Quickly, she added a pair of soft suede boots and a silver cuff bracelet that Jake had made for her years ago. Luckily, after she'd gotten out of the shower, she had put on a little make-up. She didn't wear it a lot but she'd added a little eye shadow to darken her eyes they way Angela had taught her years ago, some black mascara that made her brown eyes pop, and a tinted lip gloss. She had intended to do something with her hair but now she was out of time so she just let the curls fall down her back like they always did. She wasn't Rosalie beautiful but she'd do.
She sprinted to the stairs just as her dad was letting Paul into the living room. Bella carefully held onto the banister to keep from face-planting on the hardwood and bounced off the bottom step. She turned into the archway that separated the living room from the dining room but stopped suddenly like she'd run into a brick wall. There, standing before her, was Paul, dressed in a dark pinstripe suit jacket and pants. The blue shirt he wore underneath made the warm color of his skin pop right out and his black eyes gleam.
Bella vaguely registered a choking sound and was mortified to realize that he came from her. He was gorgeous. Like really, really gorgeous. She felt warmth stain her cheeks in a blush and she picked her way over the rug on the floor to where Paul was standing. "Wow, you look great. I think I might be under-dressed. Should I go back up and put something more formal on?"
Paul just smirked at her and said, "Nah, what you have on is fine. In fact, it's more than fine. Girl, you look good. What happened to all your old flannels?" He couldn't help but tease her. One, because it was just so much fun to see the red stain on her cheeks when he did so and, two, because he could sense how nervous she was.
"Oh, I've still got a few. I just figured a restaurant that had the word 'Bistro' in the title might not appreciate my raggedy jeans and one of Charlie's old shirts. It might go against the dress code, don't you think?"
They both laughed and just stood there for a moment, one staring at the other, until Charlie cleared his throat. "You two gonna go or are you just gonna stand there makin' goo goo eyes at each other all night? You know, Paul, you really ought to just kiss her and get it out of the way. Don't mind me, I'll just stay over here, watching the game."
A horrified little shriek left Bella's mouth and she pulled Paul by his bicep toward the door, only stopping to grab the black pea coat hanging on the rack by the door. "Bye, Dad, see you later. Don't wait up."
Paul's smile stretched all the way across his face at her embarrassment and Bella felt her breath hitch in her throat. There was no doubt how hot he was but that smile transformed his face. All she could do was stare at him like an idiot. It seriously made her feel like she was going to melt into a puddle right there on the steps of her father's home. He didn't say anything, just placed a hand on the small of her back and turned her toward the car.
"Paul! What the heck? I can't believe you are driving a brand new Camaro around! In Forks. Aren't you afraid someone will do something bad to it, or even steal it? I'd like to steal it." The last part was said almost as an afterthought.
He'd never seen that kind of look on her face before. Who would have thought that Bella Swan would be into hot rod cars? He just had to ask her about it. "How do you know about this kind of car? Your truck was made in the Dark Ages." He sniffed out a laugh as he opened the door for her.
She frowned up at him as she climbed into the passenger seat, like she was offended that he'd dared to insult her baby. "Uhh, you do know my best friend, right? How could I be friends with Jacob Black and NOT know about a car like this? Especially one this sweet. She's a beauty." He just stood there for a second, shaking his head at the awe in her voice. Obviously he thought his baby was beautiful but not many girls would appreciate a car like this. It had MALE written all over it. Beautiful, smart, AND she was into cars...
Paul shut her door and walked around the front of the car to climb into the driver's seat. He started the car and, like always, felt a little clench in his gut when he heard the motor rev. He loved his cars. They were his only indulgence. Most of the money he made went to the Tribe, but he did allow himself this one thing for himself.
"You realize this is pretty much my dream car, right? Everything about it is perfect." There was no doubt at all that she meant every word.
"Really? Maybe I'll let you drive it some time." He wiggled his eyebrows at her, trying to make her laugh because he knew what was getting ready to come out of her mouth.
"WHAT? Drive it? No Way! I couldn't do that. I'd be a nervous wreck!"
Paul just stared at her in surprise, waiting for her to finish her little tirade. "It'll be fine. This thing is so well made, it almost drives itself." He tried to reassure her but Bella knew it would not be a good idea to put his theory to the test. No matter how much she wanted to.
"How long have you had it? Is she the only hot rod you have?" Bella knew her curiosity was obvious in her voice.
"I've had it about a year. I seriously love this car. I got it 'cause it's the closest thing I can get to running in wolf form. The speed is incredible."
The expression on his face reminded her of a kid on Christmas morning. She couldn't help but laugh at his enthusiasm. "Well, I'm sure nothing could compare to that but, yeah, I get it. I'm glad you have some kind of enjoyment out of the things around you. That's one of the things that has always bothered me about you guys being tied to the reservation: the missed opportunities, the ability to have a life of your own. I hated that for all of you. In fact, I think deep down that was one of my goals for going away to college. I wanted to embrace all the challenges and successes because I knew there was a chance that none of you would ever be able to do that. I tried to live my life to the fullest for you guys. I guess I felt like it was a small contribution I could make. Jake used to say that to me all the time. I'd be feeling guilty about being there, being free, but he would roll his eyes at me every time and tell me to get my butt out there and have fun. He said it was my duty to my friends to give it 100%, otherwise, it was like a smack in the face to those of you who couldn't do it."
Bella seemed deep in thought, like she was reliving one of those conversations in her head. Paul let her think on it for a second and he wanted to tell her that Jake was absolutely right. Even though it caused a little pain to shoot through his heart thinking about her being gone, Paul was so happy that she'd been able to experience all that she had.
"He was right. We all said that. And we told him to tell you we said it. I wanted that for you more than anything: opportunity. Honestly, that was the reason I was so glad that you and Jake never became more than friends. I knew that if you had, you would have never left Forks and you deserved better than that. I wanted better for you than what we had." He didn't look at her as he said this, just kept his eyes on the road in front of him, and Bella couldn't help but think it was intentional on his part.
The end of his sentence was almost inaudible and Bella was confused. "You wanted it? What do you mean, you? How did you know anything about me and why would you have cared? You hated me. I would think you would have been happy to be rid of a troublemaker like me." She hated the demanding tone in her voice but she wanted to know what his words meant.
"Bella, we all wanted you to have a chance to do something with your life. We shared the Pack mind, it was something we all agreed on." He tried to be nonchalant in his answer but she wasn't buying it.
"No, you said 'I'. You weren't talking about the Pack, you were talking about yourself and I don't understand. What did you mean that you wanted more for me?"
Jeez, she's worse than Quil when she wants something, just plain stubborn! "Bella...I..just let it go, ok? Let's just say I wanted the best for you and leave it at that. There's nothing else to say about it. Can you just let it go for now?"
She stared into his face, trying to figure out what on earth he was talking about but he seemed a little desperate so she did as he asked and let it drop.
They were quiet for a bit, each lost in their own thoughts. Fifteen minutes later, they arrived at the restaurant and Paul helped Bella out of the car and up the stairs, holding the door open at the entrance. He gave his name to the hostess and they were seated at a small table in a quiet corner. The lights were low and soft music flowed around the room; the décor reminded her of the photographs she'd seen of landscapes and courtly old homes on the Italian countryside.
Bella's voice reflected her awe as she spoke, "Wow. I never knew we had a place like this so close to home. It's absolutely beautiful. I'm speechless."
Paul agreed with a nod of his head and a smile. The soft lighting made his skin appear even darker and his eyes more mysterious and it fascinated Bella. After they gave the waiter the order, they each sat back in their chairs.
Bella's eyes took him in for a moment. With a thoughtful sigh, she leaned her forearms on the table and met his eyes. "Paul, I still can't understand why you invited me here tonight. What's going on?" she asked quietly.
At the furrow of his brow, she quickly amended, "Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful, but it's not like I'm the kind of girl you would usually choose to go out with. I don't fit the profile of your usual date, to hear Jake tell it. So, straight up: what gives?"
He sat there and looked at her long enough that Bella assumed he wasn't going to answer but he finally spoke, "Bella, take a look around you." His eyes stayed on her as he spoke, "Look at me. Would the guy you remember bring any woman here?" Licking his lips, he leaned forward. " I'm not the guy you knew before," he said softly. "Put the past away and be honest about what you see now. Think about all you've seen since you came home."
Bella blinked her eyes in disbelief and then did what he'd asked of her. She thought about every moment she'd seen him since she'd returned and had to admit that he was right. Nothing about him seemed the same as it used to be. "Ok, I agree," she nodded slowly, leaning closer as she tried to put all the crazy thoughts swirling around in her head together. "You do seem different." She tipped her head to the side, studying him, as she continued, "What I can't get is why? And why the sudden interest in me?" That seemed to be at the heart of it: his mysterious answers, the admission in the car, the painting. None of it made sense.
Again, Paul regarded her in silence for a minute. "Over all the time you were away, I kept up with you through Jake." He exhaled, sitting back like he was admitting to some sort of crime. "Remember that we don't really keep things from each other because as soon as we phase, we can see if someone is being honest or not. It just doesn't do any good to try to hide anything," he shifted uncomfortably in his seat in a way that was so not Paul.
"Okay," she prodded gently.
He cleared his throat. "Jake could tell that I cared about you, after what happened in the meadow that day, and he's a good guy," he sniffed and flashed a soft smile. "So, when we were both phased in together, he would just 'happen' to be thinking about those long telephone conversations you guys used to have." His smile grew broader and he leaned forward again, "He would remember everything about those few times he came up to visit you. Every single time he had any interaction with you, he replayed it for us." He looked down and restlessly rearranged his fork.
"For me." His voice was whisper soft and Bella had to lean in to hear him.
Without lifting his head, he looked back up at her from under straight ebony lashes. He paused a moment, his hand stilling in its fiddling, as his gaze washed over her face. "Because he knew I wanted to be close to you," he whispered. "And...I still do."
The intensity of his admission made her heart soar and her stomach plummet. Flustered, she sat up and grabbed her water and took a sip, hoping it would wash away all the confusion.
"I stopped phasing six months ago because I knew you would be coming back," he said quietly.
Bella choked on her water as her eyes snapped up to his. They were dark and still, filled with promises and hope and a touch of uncertainty. She set her water down and slowly sat up, giving him her complete attention.
"I didn't want any supernatural crap to get in the way." He snorted in derision, putting the fork he was fiddling with down emphatically. "I knew I wanted us to get to know each other and I was dying, am dying, to know if you think you could possibly be with someone like me." He sat up and squared his subconsciously squared his shoulders as if presenting himself.
Bella's heart was racing so fast she thought she was going to faint. Her eyes darted rapidly between his, trying to understand.
"I've been attracted to you since the moment I first laid eyes on you, Bella," he said quietly, but firmly, like he was making a confession (which he certainly was). "That attraction has only grown over the years. You were a beacon of goodness while I was drowning in a sea of awful and I needed that so much." His nostrils flared as shadows passed over his face.
"You were there to give me hope, even though you didn't know it, and I know none of this really makes sense to you, but I've been waiting on you to come back to me for a long time. I'd like for us to spend more time together so you could get to know me better. To see if you think the life I have to offer now is something you might want and if I could make you happy." He took a deep breath and held it for a long moment before letting it out slowly.
"Bella, you're my imprint."
WHAT!? She knew her eyes were huge and her mouth was hanging open. SHE was his imprint? How had this happened? Why? When? A million thoughts sprinted through her mind at his revelation. To say that she was shocked would be the understatement of the year. Bella just sat there for a minute, trying to take it all in, and even though he looked nervous and acted like he wanted to say something, Paul stayed quiet and let her think for a bit.
She felt like she had been tossed to and fro by the sea the last 24 hours. It felt like all that she had known was being turned upside down. Yet, oddly enough, she believed everything that he had just told her about himself. The truth of it was as clear as day in his eyes. She just didn't know what to make of his claim that he wanted to know her or be with her. She thought back to all the women she'd seen him with long ago and all the others that she'd heard about. She had always avoided men like that because she knew the women they were with received nothing but heartache in return for the love they showed.
But he was right. He did seem different. The very air around him used to be charged with emotion but right then, he seemed perfectly calm.
"I can almost physically see the wheels turning behind those beautiful eyes. I'm sure I can guess what you are thinking and I only have a couple things to say to you: first, I haven't been with a woman in a very, very long time. A little over four years, in fact. As I said, I've been waiting for you; no one else has held any interest for me. Second, if you are comparing yourself with any of them, and I would almost guarantee that you are, I beg you not to do that. Please don't lower yourself to being placed into the same category as them. Even if you weren't my imprint, they would never compare to you. Ever. They all knew the score with me. I never led them on. I was always up front about what they could and could not expect from me. They weren't looking for a relationship and neither was I. But I am now. All of that is in the past, and now, I just want to be with you. Are you willing to give me, us, a chance?"
Bella was floored by his speech. She honestly had no idea what to think about all this. But there were a couple things that she was certain of. She didn't want to be in any kind of a relationship other than friendship with Jake. Quil had the intellectual maturity of a toddler and Embry just wasn't her type. She was involved in a world that would not allow her to date someone 'normal'. There was just too much at stake. If she was honest with herself, she had always been intrigued by Paul and it was no secret that he was as sexy as any man she'd ever known. He was just so darn interesting to her. She'd felt that all those years ago, and had been attracted to the fact that Paul was different than anyone else. His intensity was sexy, the aggression something that made her want to stand behind him and let him protect her. Not to mention that had a body to die for. Bella couldn't help the little thrill of excitement that ran through her at his words.
"I seriously don't know what to say to all this. Why didn't you tell me? All this time…I didn't have any idea." She knew the fact that she felt completely bewildered was evident in her voice. She couldn't fathom that Paul, of all people, had imprinted on her.
"I couldn't tell you, Bella. I was in no shape to take care of myself all those years ago, let alone someone else, especially not my imprint. And I didn't want you to be tied down. You had finally gotten over that pri..jerk, Cullen, and I couldn't hold you back. You had your whole future ahead of you and I wasn't going to stand in your way."
"It about killed me to watch you drive away from Forks the day you left. I could hardly walk it hurt so bad but I was determined to give you the time away you deserved. You had just found some peace in your life and were moving on. And I knew I had to get my crap together. Had to figure out who I am. There was no way I was going to tie you to someone in my situation. I had nothing to give you at that point, no way to provide for you, to take care of you. Financially or emotionally. You needed to get a good foundation under you and so did I. Even then, I cared too much for you to keep that from you."
Bella was stunned. She sat there for a second, processing what he said. She knew he was expecting her to say something about the imprint and she knew she wasn't anywhere near ready to do that. But she did feel an unexplainable connection to him and she wanted him to know that.
"I thought you were attractive all those years ago and wanted to get to know you. I could tell that there was a depth of emotion inside you that wasn't there in the Mike Newtons of the world and I've always wanted to know what makes you tick." Her head tilted to the right just a bit while she teased him. "I am in no way ready for a Sam/Emily kind of relationship but I think we definitely need to go out again so I can figure you out. I have a feeling that you are like a puzzle that has a lot of pieces that fit just so. I just need to figure out exactly which pieces fit together and exactly how they need to be placed."
A full blown smile stretched across his face and he signaled the waiter for the check. He didn't say anything, just watched her with a smile on his face and in his eyes as well. A little frisson of electricity went through her at his direct gaze. She wanted to look away but he was just too powerful. She couldn't so she just stared right back while her heart beat a million miles a minute.
Finally, the waiter arrived with the bill and Paul handed him his credit card. Bella felt like she was coming out of a trance. She blinked and shook her head then looked down at the table and her eyes were as big as saucers. Every bite of food on her plate was gone but she didn't remember eating any of it.
She shook her head at herself as Paul signed the receipt and they both stood up. She'd never considered herself a romantic but the feel of his hand on the small of her back, guiding her out of the restaurant, made her think that maybe chivalry wasn't dead after all and that even though she considered herself a strong, independent woman, maybe she was ok with that.
They rode back to Forks in companionable silence. Paul knew he'd thrown a lot of stuff at her and she needed time to process and reevaluate everything she'd heard. So he stayed quiet and let her stare out the window in silence as he drove, the only sound was the radio playing softly in the background. The singer sand a song about falling in love and it was oddly fitting for what was going on right now.
Even though it felt too soon, Bella definitely felt like she was falling for him and if the look she'd seen in his eyes tonight was any indication, Paul was already there. She knew the imprint was like a relationship on steroids, and that definitely made her want to slow things down, but she felt like she could happily lose herself in the eyes that kept glancing over at her and never return. This whole experience felt so surreal, like something out of a movie. And she had dealt with some weird crap in her life. This was just…different.
After a short while, they arrived back at Charlie's house. Paul came around to help her out of the car and his hand landed at her waist before trailing up her back to land firmly on the nape of her neck. Bella supposed it was a bit possessive of him but she found she didn't mind. Who wouldn't want to belong to this beautiful man beside her? He kept his hand there as he walked her up to the door and the awkwardness that usually accompanied this stage of a date was blessedly absent. Bella assumed it was the imprint but she knew it was also because of who Paul was. He was confident and therefore made others feel confident too. She was surprised when he asked her for her cell phone. Her eyebrow raised in question even as she handed it over to him.
"Here, I'm programming my number into your contacts. Don't let any of the Pack see it because this is a new phone and I don't want Collin and Brady crank calling me the way they did last time." He seemed to be serious so she agreed.
"Thank you for dinner tonight, it was wonderful. I'll talk to you soon?" Bella raised a brow in question as she looked into his eyes. Unconsciously, she took a step closer to him.
Paul raised his hands and framed her face then just stood there letting his eyes roam her face. He slowly bent his head and placed a soft kiss on her cheek then another on the corner of her mouth. Bella felt like her heart was going to beat right out of her chest as he placed his lips next to her ear and whispered, "Night, Bella. I'll see you soon."
She watched him walk down the steps and didn't realize she had her hand pressed to her cheek in the exact spot his lips had touched until he was pulling out of the driveway. She let herself into the house quietly and headed up to bed, knowing she had an enormous amount of things to think about. She just hoped that Paul meant everything he'd said and that he would be there with her each step of the way. Finally, she had a chance to explore the happiness that she saw everyone else experiencing on a daily basis and she was home.
Nothing else mattered at this point.