Dark Feather Chronics:
Castiel : The Angel of Thursday
Yes, I am here still; I'm surprised too, but there's something about Dean that's make me feel good, what is it? I feel a lot more comfortable being invisible around him, now he is talking to Sam, at first I didn't liked Sam.
No, please don't get me wrong, at first I didn't knew him pretty well… Sam is Dean's brother and he loves him very much, maybe I was just jealous because I wanted a brother like this. Well, my brothers and I kept fighting over ideas, like Lucifer for instance… He tried back then to seduce us; he said "God is not god anymore, why we should bow to humans, those little apes? Riot with me and let us rise our own empire""
I never saw Humans as monkeys they are my father's creation, they are beautiful and I never wanted an empire… It was still sad that so many angels were cast down with him, our brother Michael is strong, it was really an easy fight, Lucifer only took 1/3 of God's angel, we were in advantage I must admit, God was by our side.
That was the Golden age, There's no use thinking about it now…
I just sat on the chair close to the door, and Dean somehow knows I'm here, but he can't explain why… neither can I, Sam just left.
He just greets me – Morning Cas – I greet him back, there no use being invisible now, I keep looking at his eyes while we talk and he gets upset… Am I supposed to be angry too?
Then I tell him how I feel, actually, I wanted to tell him about how much I love my brothers and that I can relate his feelings towards Sam, but now he is apologizing for losing his temper. I can't help but smile, Dean is a good man…
I don't think he knows how great he is, he says he is having trouble with his feelings; that's actually curious, I thought humans dealt with feelings daily and therefore they deal with it better; I guess I'm wrong again, Dean loves to watch cartoon.
I still don't get the coyote and the bird, what is so funny about them? Dean loves it; it's like the poor coyote suffering is amusing to him. To me his smile is amusing, he make me feel different like the first time I saw him…
Did our relationship changed? He says I'm like his family, here we are watching the coyote and the bird and he is laughing like before, looking at his face it's difficult to tell that he is the same man that I raise from perdition.
I know I said God commanded it, but a small part of me was glad I could rescue him, I wish I didn't mark him, He must had hated me for it and for burning that woman's eyes, for what is worthy I'm very sorry for that.
There so many things I want to tell you Dean… But how can I make you understand? Maybe if I use an analogy again… I don't think Dean would get it, he wouldn't accept me fading away. Here he goes smiling again, I fake a smile and he turns his eyes to the Tv again.
Dean… I really don't know what to do to keep you safe, for everyone, including me. I thought that if I be around you I could somehow protect you, and lately you've been protecting me, maybe that what is irony.
That's why I am not good at this Irony and sarcasm thing, now to protect Dean I need go… maybe forever.