Two:

Childhood

This life is no harder than I thought it would be. Gan is five now, and a precocious little terror, but no worse than any other Hylian boy his age. Less disciplined, perhaps, than any of the Sheikah, but they are trained from birth to be guardians of the Royal Family. He is not held to that same standard, and thus, he is a bit more... rambunctious than they are.

Overtly Gerudo, I suppose. Few hold it against him, at least. Impa seems to find it highly amusing, and has become his best friend, despite the seven year gap between them. When she matures, when they both mature, it will be fascinating to see if their friendship survives.

It feels strange to realize that I have lived and trained among the Sheikah for five and some years already. Not everyone accepts us, but this is not surprising; the Gerudo reputation is not forgotten., not when they still slip over the border to seduce men for their own use.

But they do not, cannot, come here.

We are to travel today; it is his special birthday present, to accompany me on my visit to the Gorons of Death Mountain. The trip to the Zora I will save for after he tames and trains his first horse... but just stepping out of this village, where we have lived for so long will be an adventure to him.

I hope that I am doing this right...

"Mama, why're you writin in that book?"

Raiha glanced up from her journal to see the young boy, already haphazardly dressed, standing at the foot of the stairs of their small house. He was definitely up early...

"I'm writing down a record of the past," she replied. "Same as always."

"But it's my birthday, and you promised we were going somewhere!" he pouted a little.

"It's barely dawn," she pointed out. "Usually you're still dead to the world at this hour."

"I wanna see it" he replied, shifting from pouting child to excited one in the blink of an eye.

"See...?"

"The world, Mama! You said we were gonna go visit a new place today!"

Raiha sighed a little, but couldn't help smiling just slightly. Raised among these people, Gan knew he was different, but it was not the same sort of different had he been raised among the Gerudo. He only knew that they looked different, were different, from the Sheikah people.

"There are still things to be done before that," she reprimanded him gently. "Since you are awake, we can begin your exercises for the day."

"Mama," he protested.

"A birthday is just a day, little one, like any other," Raiha replied, giving him a firm look. "We will celebrate after the work is done. Understand?"

Gan pouted again, sticking out his lower lip in rebellion, and Raiha shook her head a little. She'd seen this in other children, and knew how to remain firm.

"If you're awake now, we can start with target practice, and then your tumbling. After that there's breakfast."

"And then do we get to go see the Gorons?"

"Yes, my son. Then we can go and see the Gorons."

The words came so easily now, and she watched with undeniable fondness as he scampered back up those stairs to get his small bow and put on his shoes. It had been hard at first. So hard. That first year, seeking shelter and safety, she had often thought many times of abandoning the boy. Returning him to the desert, or killing him, or even just dropping him at some random doorstep.

Her first helping hand had come from the ranching family; Londa, Milon, and their young son Talon. She had almost thought to stay there, to teach the young boy who could be king what it was like to work hard, to care for people as well as animals... but the ranch was too small, too exposed; Gerudo would be swarming in the desert, taking secret and unsafe paths across to try and bring back the baby she had stolen.

They had stayed a few months anyways, and she always visited in secret when she was 'touring' the countryside. They were always glad to see her, and never pressed for information that she didn't volunteer. Both adults were part of the spying ring that kept her informed of the feelings around all of Hyrule, and were well-compensated for their work. Talon, unfortunately, was still as lazy as ever, and was kept unawares of what she, or his parents, were doing.

The Sheikah had been an astoundingly lucky break. One of them had foresight, and had seen her coming, carrying a great burden. It had been this man who had convinced the Sheikah elders to let her in, and let her stay. It had been his help that had granted her an actual house instead of the small tent she had been fully prepared to set up... he was even Gan's honorary uncle, and the boy loved him dearly.

It was this man, Idoro, that she had confessed the truth to, after three years of keeping her silence and allowing the other Sheikah to get used to her as much as they could. That she had kidnapped the boy to protect him from the idealization and fanaticism of their people, who would set him up as a powerful, dangerous king if they could.

Raiha remembered seeing in his face that he knew she wasn't telling him everything. But the fact that he accepted this was why she trusted him so much. Becoming his teacher in the matter of his Sight—which was mostly just shoring up his confidence and getting him to accurately speak what he Saw—also helped.

Gan clomped back down the stairs in his wooden sandals, small bow and quiver slung over one shoulder, amber eyes sparkling eagerly with the desire to get the 'work' part of the day over with so they could move onto the 'fun' part. She hid a smile as she considered the climb they had ahead of them to visit the rock-eating race known as the Gorons, and got to her feet so that she could keep an eye on him.

"Mama, I'm hot," Gan whined.

"I did warn you that it wouldn't be an easy climb," she said mildly. "Do you want to go back?"

"No!"

"Do you need a break?"

"NO!"

She heaved a mental sigh and looked down at the small child who was plodding along behind her; stubbornness was definitely a Gerudo trait, and he was exhibiting it to its fullest extent.

"Then what do you want to do, little man?" she asked, planting one hand on her hip.

"...can you carry me?" he asked, scuffing his feet in the dirt.

Raiha glanced up the path as she considered the idea. He was only five, and maybe she ought to have tried harder to discourage him from coming along this year; the fact that he was exhausted was partially her fault.

"All right. But I'm not carrying you the whole way," she warned. "You're getting too big for this."

He really was too; at five years old, he was already a head taller than other Sheikah boys, and half her own height. Soon, he would be both too big and too heavy for her to carry, even with her own training regime.

She shifted her quiver around to the front, tucking the bow down a little more in its sling, then crouched down to let the boy scramble onto her back. He wrapped his arms snuggled around her shoulders, and she half-suspected he'd complained of being tired just for this outcome. He was a far more tactile child than she'd anticipated, and liked finding sneaky ways to give her affection.

It made her wonder if she was giving him the proper attention some days, but with a mental shrug, she decided to worry about it later. Since today was his birthday, she certainly could let it slide.

The sound of his awed breath as they topped the rise, and he saw, for the first time, beyond the guarding cliffs of Kakariko, was definitely worth the effort of carrying him.

"Is that Hyrule, Mama?"

"That's Hyrule, Gan."

"When do I get to go out there?"

She laughed a little, and let him slide down from her back so that she could stretch.

"Not for a while yet, kiddo. Give it another seven to ten years. When you're taller, and stronger, and I don't have to worry so much about protecting you."

He would face different trials than she did, when it came to being Gerudo on this soil. His Hylian traits were not as overt as her own; only the pointed ears gave away the fact that he was as they all were, a race of mixed people.

The wind caught and ruffled his short red hair as he looked up at her.

"Do you promise?"

"We'll see when you're older, Gan."

I'm hearing more rumors now, as my contacts are reporting to me. The Gorons seemed to have settled into an uneasy truce with the current Hylian King, a young man named Tores. And I mean young in age, and in skill. He's not good with his courtiers at all, and this alliance only went through because I asked Darunia to try as a favor to me.

War is going to come once again. I can feel it, and Idoro has said as much; if the king cannot learn to curb his tongue and his vices, it's libel to be a civil war, and that won't end well for anyone. With this cautious alliance with the Gorons, and the Zora staying effectively neutral, things may remain calm for a time, and Tores may learn to curb himself.

I hope...

Tores worries me; he's feckless and unapologetic about his choices and excesses. I believe there's potential for him to be a good king, but he's surrounded by sycophants and yes-men, which are undermining that potential. Arrogance in a king is not the best trait to cultivate, just like it wasn't in the other time with Ganondorf.

I hate wasted potential... Gan is doing much better now, I think.

He turned eight last week, and I was forced to miss it; he hasn't yet forgiven me, and I admit, it cuts deeper than I expected. I didn't mean to start loving this boy, but I have. He is not blood, nor is he king, but he has become my son.

I am still awake, still aware. Either this will make no difference, or all the difference in the world.

A knock at the door made her look up, then close and hide the journal before she went to answer.

"Idoro?" she blinked in surprised to see him at her door so late. "Please, come in."

Something was up; she could tell from the look in his eyes, the concern and the edge of fear, that he had Seen something. That was usually the only reason he turned up in late evening hours on her doorstep.

"Is Gan here?"

"No, he and Impa are having a sleepover, since he's still giving me the silent treatment," she said dryly. "It seemed easier to let him stay over; she's pretty good at talking him around."

"She is to be the next leader of our people," he said with a nod, flopping bonelessly into a chair. "It stands to reason that she would be good at that sort of thing."

"Yes. What have you Seen?"

"You won't like it."

"Idoro..."

He held up one hand with a resigned smile.

"I know, I know," he sighed a little. "Get it over with. Taskmistress."

"You knew that the day you met me," she retorted, pulling out her stool and dropping onto it. "So, tell me, what is this about? The civil unrest?"

"I... can't be certain. I Saw a handful of the people this time... Two old women with cold, hard eyes, flanking a Gerudo boy. I couldn't tell if it was Gan or not, but I would recommend keeping him close, hurt feelings or not, for the next few months."

A chill went up Raiha's spine at the words, and she clenched her hands tightly. By necessity, she had to go out; maintaining her contact network was not something she could do from a closed village. Gan was too young still to come with her, though he was growing skilled in the ways of fighting that were common to Gerudo.

"Raiha, it could very well be nothing-"

"Don't feed me a platitude because you're worried, Idoro," she snapped, in no mood to be placated. "That's half the reason you had so much trouble with your power before, you know. If you See something, even if it's uncertain, saying it is better than nothing. At least with a thing acknowledged a plan can be prepared."

He sighed a little, and passed a hand over his face.

"Yes, teacher," he said patiently. "But truly, I didn't, couldn't, get a good look at the boy between them. His face was in shadow. All I know is that there could be trouble, and that nagging feeling in my gut that wants it to not be trouble for you."

She blew out a breath in mild irritation, and sat back, arms crossed as she thought her options through. There was no place in the land that was safer, honestly, than this village which was Sheikah only. It was the farthest point from the desert that wasn't the mountain of Snowpeak—a cold and pitiless place that she wanted nothing to do with—or the Kokiri-bound forests, rife with their own dangerous magic that she had no desire to tangle with sans a guide.

Plus, Gan had never actually been outside the village. Going up to the Gorons didn't count; Gerudo only took mates from compatible races, and that was Hylian. They had no reason to come this far to the east, away from the safety of the difficult desert that was home. Especially not those two witches, who had never left the desert to begin with.

There had been no Spirit Temple for them to make their home in, but they had attempted to take back the prison. It had been... less bountiful than they'd hoped. They still had, somewhere in the desert, a secret lair, but nothing as extensive or useful to them, and they'd always been loathe to leave it unguarded.

There was, of course, the option of proxies, but again, what Gerudo would come this far east? The Sheikah were not a well-known tribe, and what was known of the shadowfolk was that they were utterly devoted to guarding the Royal Family. They let nothing stand in the way of that duty, nor did they allow themselves to be distracted while on duty. She could remember hearing complaints about it while she had been flitting around the compound before Nielesi's death.

And not even the Royal Family knew where the hidden village was.

"So... I changed nothing after all," she muttered, running an absent hand through her hair. "All right."

"Raiha?"

"It's nothing, Idoro. Talking to myself. Thank you for telling me. I am not sure when Gan will forgive me, but I will keep a more watchful eye on him until I have to leave again."

He nodded, then scooted up a little in his chair.

"Since I am here, might I not ask for another lesson?"

She snorted a little, and sighed.

"As amusing as being your teacher is, not tonight. I have to think, and I prefer to do that without someone staring at me."

Idoro sighed a little as well, but thoughtfully, not petulantly. Few knew of their status as on-and-off lover, and admittedly while most late-night lessons were just that, some... weren't. He got to his feet after a moment, and sketched the respectful bow of student to teacher before letting himself out. Raiha shook her head a little over his theatrics, and tipped her chair back slightly to contemplate this half-anticipated twist to her life.

"I suppose it only makes sense," she sighed after a moment, speaking softly to herself. "The events that must take place to bring Link here would require someone who is ruthless and willing to harm other races to get the outcome he wants. It would have been too easy this way, wouldn't it?"

Silence was her only answer, and she raked a hand through her short hair, disheveling it as she abruptly stood and began to pace. Had she gotten it wrong? What if the name had been bestowed after he had reached puberty?

No, that made no sense; her people didn't have that particular naming convention. That was a Goron thing, not a Gerudo thing.

So they had a new boy to be their king. Of course. They wouldn't search forever, and it had been almost ten years since she'd taken Gan and run off. She wondered, briefly, how young this new boy was, then discarded the thought. She had only caused a brief delay, knowing her luck...

But in a way, she was glad that she had. Maybe she hadn't meant to love the boy as though he was her son, but she did. After all, weren't both she, and this land she now lived in, representatives of the fact that even though things might happen in the same manner, there was no way for everything to be identical.

She sighed again. Thought for a moment. Then decided to go to Impa's home and see how they were getting on.

Impa's father was, amusingly enough, waiting for her just outside the door, a very dry smile on his face.

"He's got a bit of a temper on him, doesn't he?" he asked quietly, his voice a rasp from an old throat injury.

"That he does. Are they doing all right?"

"Impa seems to have talked him out of going through your stuff, if nothing else."

The older man had a grin that suggested he found the threat funny; Raiha just briefly closed her eyes, and thanked Nayru that she kept her journals where the boy never could find them. If he read those...

Well, he was too young yet to understand.

"They're sleeping now, anyways," he said after a long moment. "He was still a bit out of sorts, but he dropped off easily enough. Want to go in and check?"

"...yes..."

"Such a devoted mother."

"Bali, I will throw you across the ring tomorrow," she half-threatened.

She found no humor in the fact that it was an open secret, the lack of blood connection between herself and Gan. A few of the Sheikah used it to make digs at her, and though Bali was not typically one of them, every now and again he liked to poke fun at her about it. Fortunately, like his nephew Idoro, Bali was the easy-going sort who only shrugged a little, smirked, and slid a little farther out of the way she she went inside.

The children slept on the second floor, sprawled haphazardly over the large bed. Both of them were half on, half off, and as Raiha watched, Impa slid a little more to the side after shoving at Gan with her foot. She rolled her eyes in dry amusement, and very carefully shifted both of them back into the bed properly, covering them with the blankets, and gently smoothing hair out of sleeping faces.

Gan leaned into her touch in his sleep, and she couldn't help but smile, just a little; even upset, it seemed the familiarity of her touch gave him some comfort.

"Mmnn... m'ma...s'ng."

He wasn't awake, only talking in his sleep, but that didn't stop her from sitting at the foot of the bed and singing a soft lullaby. It wasn't by chance that she chose the song of the royal family... Someday, she knew, Zelda would hear this song from Impa herself. Besides, like most of the magical melodies, it was soft, easy to remember, and helped ease the ache of her own heart.

Rumors of war grow worse every time I leave. I want to keep my people, my province, out of the trouble, but I don't know that I can; even I have to admit that Tores' taxes are getting out of hand.

My last trip out, I went to spy on him. I should have done this earlier instead of relying on hearsay and rumor, but I thought it would only be a matter of waiting for war to begin, and then to end. Foolish of me; I shouldn't have let myself get complacent or distracted.

Tores is not the king this land needs him to be. I fear he never will be. People rally instead to his cousin, a man named Dalfnes. I admit, the difference between them is night and day, and I can see why people turn to Dalfnes with Tores' excesses in overt display.

Darunia himself has told me that of the two, he finds Dalfnes more worthy of the title of king. I wish I knew which path I was meant to take... all I can do at this moment is advise patience and caution...

I feel so utterly useless. I thought I was getting better at this being patient thing. I've had centuries to practice, but I still find myself wanting everything to happen Right Now...

"Hey, Mom?"

Raiha looked up from her writing at her now twelve-year-old son, studying his expression for a moment before putting the journal aside for the moment.

"Yes, Gan?"

"Um..." the boy fidgeted uncertainly. "How do you know... when you like someone?"

"Well, you like your friends, don't you?"

She hid a smile as he fidgeted more, his cheeks darkening with embarrassment.

"Not like that," he mumbled. "Like how you like Uncle Idoro..."

"Ah. Romance, instead of friendship," she chuckled a little, and motioned for him to sit. "It's not a straightforward thing, kiddo, so I'm not sure what I say will help, but I'll do my best. Is it one of your friends?"

He pulled up a chair and nodded a little shyly.

"Well, that does help. Unrequited affection, or even derision is hard to take from a first crush. Rather, it can never be easy to learn that someone doesn't quite love you the same way back..."

After a moment of reflecting on the strangeness of her own romantic life, she just shook her head a little.

"Well, since they're your friend, you plainly enjoy their company," she said after a moment. "Does it hurt to be apart?"

The boy thought for a moment, mimicking her usual thinking pose; leaned back slightly with arms crossed and head tipped to one side. It made her smile; difference in skin tone aside, he was very much her little mimic. His red hair was growing almost shaggy, and he confined it as best he could in a ponytail, using water or oil to keep loose locks from falling into his face. He also seemed to be outgrowing his clothes again, she noted; the cuffs of his sleeves were riding up onto his forearms, and his pants were looking a bit worn in places.

"A little?" Gan finally said. "I mean, I don't always want to be around him, but I feel a bit lonely when he's not around, and I get really happy when I see him again."

Then he jerked a little, and gave her a wide-eyed stare, but Raiha only nodded a little in understanding. Hylians could be a bit prudish about taking lovers, especially lovers who were of their same gender. Sheikah were a bit more sensible, but clearly the attitude of 'if you're a male you must love a female' had worn off on Gan.

"Well, that's a healthy enough reaction. Young love can be a bit... foolish at times," she said with a faint smile. "When I had my first crush, I wanted to spend all my free time with her. I still haven't decided if it's a good or bad thing that she was almost always too busy to spend a lot of time with me."

The tension eased from his shoulders, and she reached out to lightly rest a hand on his arm.

"The Gerudo and Hylian races have always had a very different idea about love and lovers," she said seriously. "But there is nothing wrong with loving someone of your own gender grouping romantically. Or even just platonically. Love may not make the world go around, but it makes living on it much more bearable."

"So it's...it's okay?"

"Yes."

He sighed a little in relief, and slumped back in the chair.

"Should...should I tell him?"

"Mmmm..." Now it was Raiha's turn to lean back contemplatively. "I hesitate to say yes or no here. Sheikah are more open-minded than Hylians, but not every Sheikah will like the idea."

"Is it because we're both boys, or because I'm Gerudo?"

The words held a touch of bitterness, and Raiha immediately leaned forward again. She would not sugar-coat the truth; if he was old enough to ask a hard question about love, then he was old enough to begin to understand the why of the prejudice against their people.

"Both. My son, our race has an unfairly maligned reputation, this much is true. But our desert, the desert I left for your sake, is not a kind or forgiving place, and few Hylians seek to understand what it is about the desert that would drive us to live there, but also desire escape from it," she sighed a little. "Even this far to the east, among these rocky hills, the Hylians have so much that the Gerudo do not. Water, a stable-ish government, the land to grow food..."

"Why don't they move here, then?" he asked.

"Because the desert is home in a way that Hyrule is not," she said simply. "When you're old enough to walk the paths and see for yourself, you'll see what I mean, but for the moment..."

She half-closed her eyes, then spread her fingers. Around them, the room vanished as she exercised her magic to project a memory of the desert, seen from the high bluffs that made up the border between the desert and the lake. Gan drew in a sharp breath as he watched the abrupt reveal of the sun over the mountain.

After a moment, she let the illusion fade, and smiled a little sadly at the awestruck look on the boy's face.

"It's home," she repeated. "And though it's harsh and hard, it's also a place that we just don't want to leave without a good reason.

"Ah, and also, the Hylians have never been really open to Gerudo ever since the ancient war that cost us the Spirit Temple," she added matter-of-factly, mostly as a distraction so that he wouldn't ask what her reasons were. He was not, she believed, ready for that particular nugget of information. "When we are forced to live up to the reputation of thievery to survive, it's hard to make strides in peace. Individually, progress can be made, but as a whole... it's very much taking a step forward, and then two back."

He scratched his head, pulling out some loops of hair as he did so, then grimaced and tucked them back as best he could.

"That's confusing," he confessed.

She laughed a little, and nodded.

"It can be, yes. Politics usually are."

The boy made a face, and she laughed again; he was very much not a political child, despite the fact that her very real job required her to be political more often than not.

"Why can't people just say what they mean?" he asked, and not for the first time.

"Because sometimes that can lead to more trouble than it's worth. Picking fights to prove you're right won't always win you any friends or allies. The Gorons value the straightforward, but Zora, Hylian, and Sheikah all need diplomatic touches to keep this country working well together."

"Impa says it's not... does that mean you'll have to go away again soon?"

"Impa is correct, but no. I should be able to stick around for a few months before I have to travel again."

"So does that mean you'll teach me one of your really cool moves?" he asked eagerly.

"Have you mastered the last 'really cool move' I tried to show you?" she asked, raising an amused eyebrow.

"...mostly..."

"Mmhm. Let's go up the path a bit and you can show me just what 'mostly' means, and I'll decide then."

Questions were immediately forgotten as he shot to his feet and bounced around her like a child half his age in excitement. His clear exuberance eased her mind and her heart... War was inevitable, civil war, but she could take time to enjoy the peace, and train her son in the Gerudo skills that were his birthright.

"Lady Raiha, may I have a word?"

Raiha looked up from her book—reading this time, trying to relax. Gan had certainly not mastered the spell, and after she'd finished laughing at the resulting static explosion—his hair had been poofed out like a cat's tail after being startled—she had gone about talking him through it several more times until he was at least able to contain the spell in his hand without it trying to leap out.

Gan had been thoroughly exhausted by the effort and had gone to bed almost an hour beforehand, which had allowed her to both finish journaling, and then try to calm her own busy brain. To be interrupted wasn't necessarily pleasant, but when she saw who stood in the open doorway, she found herself not quite as annoyed.

"Impa," she smiled a little, and set the book aside. "What can I help you with?"

Impa was not yet at her full height, but she was getting there; at nineteen years of age, she stood at Raiha's shoulder, wore her white hair tied back in the familiar short tail, and had just started learning how to add the greasepaint that would help shield her eyesight on a particularly bright day. She was practical and considered wise for her age; an old soul in a young body.

To Raiha, seeing this old friend so young, it was always a bit startling. She had never thought that she might witness her former friends and allies from that other life grow into themselves in this one.

Impa claimed a chair and clasped her hands loosely in front of her, between her knees.

"You know what will happen soon," she said lowly after a moment, "don't you?"

"I suspect," Raiha replied carefully. "It's hard to not hear the news from the other provinces and feel that war is in the wings."

"I don't know what to do," the Sheikah woman admitted. "Father says that soon I will have to take my first assignment to guard the Royal Family, but I do not feel as though we should be protecting or even supporting Tores. The Gorons have not withdrawn from the Hylians, but they tell us of the new tariffs and taxes on their goods that make it difficult to sell, and harder to buy in the city markets. Some have even suggested that Darunia has no respect for the King, and may call all his people back to the mountain to prepare for trouble..."

"Have you asked Darunia yourself?"

"Not as of yet," Impa admitted. "Father has me tending more and more to the daily efforts of this village as his disease progresses. Are you certain there is nothing you can do for him?"

"Oh, I could do plenty," Raiha replied sourly. "But Bali doesn't want me to. He says he's done his duty, and he's quite willing to wait for the shadows of oblivion. Forcing a healing on someone isn't ethical, no matter how much I'd like to do it..."

And really, she would have; Bali's disease wasn't impossible to cure, not with the power of the Light Spirits augmenting her own. As annoying as he could be, Bali was a wise man, and a good leader, knowing when to listen to his village's elder council, and when to ignore them. He was patient, and kind, easy-going, and well-loved.

"I've tried talking him around," she continued, then shook her head, "but he is adamant. It's not going to happen so long as he has a say in it."

"Oh... Then... what will you do?"

"...right at the moment, I'm watching and waiting. Listening and collecting my information," Raiha replied. "This war is likely to split this tribe down the middle, and as much as I would like to avoid getting involved, I know that's not feasible. At some point, a line will be drawn, and I hope to have enough information to decide on which side I will stand."

"Your word will sway many people," Impa said after a long moment.

"So will yours," Raiha countered. "You are to be the next leader. If you want my advice on this, I say, trust your instincts. You're a sharp woman, Impa. Listen both to what you're told, and to how you feel."

"And... what if I can't. Will you help me?"

"I will help you, but I cannot make a choice for you," she cautioned. "I can only advise what I feel is the wisest course of action."

Impa sighed a little, then nodded.

"How goes training with Gan?" Raiha asked, steering the subject to a lighter, more amusing topic.

"...challenging," was the ginger reply. "He is strong, swift, and flexible, but his control... his temper, rather, still needs a lot of refining. I thought girls going through their first menses were difficult, but he takes it to an extreme at points..."

Raiha snickered a little, and reached out to pat Impa on the shoulder comfortingly.

"I'll be sure to work with him on that. I'll be around for a few months this time, and can give more direct explanations."

"Thank Farore," Impa sighed. "He's nice most of the time, but I swear..."

"He's suffering through his first crush and trying to decide how to deal with it," she grinned a little. "With any luck, he should calm down just as soon as that happens."

"Or get worse."

"..this is true too. I suppose I'll have to have the 'we do not show off for lovers' talk with him tomorrow."

"And the bragging one," Impa said dryly. "Bad enough that he's almost my height at nearly half my age."

"Ah. Yes. The conversation about bragging," and Raiha sighed a little. "He is going to be thirteen next year... I suppose it was only a matter of time..."

Impa chuckled a little, and got to her feet.

"Thank you for speaking with me. I appreciate it very much."

"Any time, Impa. Have a good night."

"Any you, lady."

Raiha watched Impa go with a thoughtful frown, then sighed a little, and pulled out her journal.

Being in the position to give advice to a friend from whom I once received advice is very strange, and makes me think too much about what was, and what cannot be. It seems... almost unfair, but I suppose fairness is not what this world is about. If it was, Tores wouldn't be ruling right now. Lines in the sand, and time traveling ever on...

I have already caused one major change in this world that Link will someday return to. A change I don't have the courage to undo, even though I know there's nothing more I can do for the Twili people.

Even when I interact directly, I still feel like I miss so much.

What do I do when war comes? How will it end? How will we protect those who cannot fight because of youth or elderly status?

I need to talk to Darunia, I think. He may know of a place we can use for safety. Kakariko is not exposed, not easy to reach, but if those of able body and mind divide themselves due to duty over all, the rest will need a place to avoid the fighting.

He also provides good, solid advice. With my thoughts flitting about like tufts of dandelion seed, I need some solidity.

And I also need to figure out how to broach certain topics with Gan that won't leave him feeling resentful. Boasting and bragging, even with the skill to back them up, is never helpful. Showing off is even less so. And add in the complication that he has a crush on one of his male friends...

I am glad he is growing up, but I am sad to realize just how much of it I have missed. I am lucky that he does not resent me entirely, I suppose, for going out and about without him. If the war begins soon, I don't know how well I'll do at keeping him safe.

I do not want my son to suffer, but as he grows older, he will need my protection less and less. I want to have him retain what innocence he has for as long as he can, but life will teach him all the lessons it taught me sooner or later.

I have also been reminded of why I did not like to be directly involved. Bali's refusal of healing frustrates me, as does Idoro's lack of communication these past months. I am trying not to take either event personally, but I feel hurt and lost because of them. I may not love Idoro with the same intensity as I loved Sheik or Link, or even Zelda, but I dislike the loneliness that comes from not seeing him... and when Bali's illness fully takes him into the shadows...the thought breaks my heart.

I thought I was properly hardened to these sorts of events. I don't know yet whether it is a good thing or a bad thing to realize that they still impact me so fully.

I feel I will get no sleep this night. I will leave a note for Gan, in case he wakes before I get back, and go up to see Darunia.

And I fear I will have to cut my planned stay short. This will not go well at all.