Chapter 2: Heero Yuy
Balanced. Poised. Secure.
I could stay in this one position forever. While it was a bit unwieldy for some, it didn't effect me. Unmoving, unbreathing nearly, just watching, waiting.
There were no more missions. I was waiting for nothing, stalking my own small apartment, standing, expecting. The door was the target, I think. It didn't really matter any more. Nothing did.
What does the perfect soldier do at the end of the war?
Go mad, damn it.
At least my computer held episodes I could relive. I think J knew that the war would end someday and he made me keep recordings of our missions. There was no other reason to keep these, and I'm not sure if I'm glad I have, really. It's not like I've forgotten any of them.
But they weren't what I wanted right now, so I stalked my door, and waited. For what... I didn't even know. Someone, perhaps.
It had been a year now. A year, and no messages, no contacts, no news. How were my age-old companions doing? What went on through their heads now? It was amazing how much I thought about them. Things kept appearing in my head: the way Quatre's eyes widened just slightly before he was going to laugh, the way sun glinted off of Strongarms, how Duo made his mech move in battle. I wondered if any of them had died in that base attack. Why was it launched?
Why, oh why, hadn't they looked for me here?
Why had they forgotten me?
I even registered this dingy apartment under one of my more arcane and recognizable aliases, in hopes that... no, why would it be in hopes? I went away so they wouldn't find me. But my unconscious mind took over as always, and so that's what I'm filed under.
The loneliness, which I had always sought—thought I sought—was driving me mad. So for the last two months, I was visiting the one contact I could safely go to that wouldn't give me away: Relena. It wasn't the best of arrangements. She was always too happy to see me, and lately, she seemed to be pressing for something. What, I haven't the faintest idea. Why does she think I love her?...
I don't.
I don't know why, but I don't. I think that was something that was programmed into me long ago. 'Take no prisoners, leave no witnesses, and oh yes, don't fall in love with the Prime Minister's daughter.' Or anyone else for that matter.
I didn't love her.
I couldn't, not when I loved...
But...
It doesn't really matter. I don't want them to find me.
That's when someone knocked on my door. Adrenaline rushed through me instantly. Here was the kill; here was the goal... I glanced at the clock. Here was the mailman. I never had any mail but bills, but for some reason the young lady insisted on delivering to me by hand. She also turned bright red while doing so and made a noise I believe is called 'tittering'. Reminds me a bit of Relena. She does things like that, too.
I walked over to the door, wondering if threatening to kill the girl would scare her away or endear her more. I opened it. And yes, the person standing there had long braided hair, but it was of a color and thickness that I didn't believe I'd see again. For the first time in my life, I was really and truly speechless. Always before, there were things I could have said, responses I could have made, but...
Duo.
Duo.
Duo.
I couldn't believe it, and apparently, he couldn't either. I had never heard him be quiet for this long out of battle. He just stared at me, and I did little better. Surely... he hadn't known... why had he waited this long to find me...
"Relena said you would be here," he said weakly. And then fell to the floor, unconscious, the stress and exhaustion finally overtaking him.
Trust Duo to ruin something like this.
I dragged him over to the couch and pulled him onto it, grunting at the effort. The boy was heavy. I certainly hadn't been eating enough lately, and it was telling on my thin frame. Maybe I would have to start eating more.
Why am I even thinking about this?
Duo.
Why are you here?
It doesn't matter.
You are.