Harry was very frustrated.

"Professor Flitprick – I mean Flitwick!" Harry suddenly yelled. It seemed that the short Professor had wandered into the corridor. Snape's head (no, not that one…) shot up. How embarrassing! Being caught in this compromising position! But then he thought…Flitwick seemed the perfect height for –

"Ahhh. Hello Mr. Pott - ." Flitwick stared at Harry's foot, "OH MY GOD, WHY DO YOU ONLY HAVE NINE TOES?! AND WHAT IS THAT HOUSE-ELF DOING OUT OF THE KITCHENS? Twinky, go back to your quarters." Relieved, the house-elf wandered off.

Oh, so Professor Flatprick- I mean Flitwick - had no idea of what had transpired here. The powerful love between Mr. Harry Potter and his fellow magical creatures shall not be uncovered this day. Oh professor Flitwick, so naïve, so innocent…

…but not for long I fear.

"You do realise that it is past curfew? Naughty boys. And – oh! Professor Snape, are you have a game of snooker with the young Griffindors? But, alas, this does not excuse them for bending the rules!"

"Oh, but professor Fitwick- I mean Flitwick! I like bending… the rules!" cried our favourite red-headed sex kitten.

"Yes Professor" drawled Snape, now feeling the snooky wooky cube suggestively "it's time you did some bending too!!"

Crazy grin. Rabid breathing. Hand motions speed up.

Professor Flitslick – I mean Flitwick – stepped away. "I think I'm going to have to report this to the HEADmaster. You understand Serverus. Not until they're 17 can they roam these walls."

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that, professor." Snape had a feral gleam in his eyes as he moved towards the tiny teacher. With a quick flick of his wand (no, not that one…) our potions master conjured a rope, and tied poor professor Fitdick – I mean Fitwick –up with it. "You aren't going anywhere. I should've known a man with a name rhyming with Clit-slick and Tit-lick was not one of us!!"

"What…what are you going to do to me?!"

"Why that's simple professor. I'm going to make you one of us…

BWAHAHAHAA!!"

"One of us. One of us." Chanted the sexually-frustrated duo behind him, supporting sexy sneers and each others butt cheeks.

TBC