Chapter 2

Reid's POV

I was in my car just driving around. I didn't want to go anywhere particular.

I didn't know what I was going to do.

I couldn't go back to work. I had caused a big scene and I knew I had upset my best friend.

The others were probably looking for me, but I didn't really care.

I knew the whole team had been worried about me but I didn't want them too.

The team had annoyed me and I didn't want to apologize.

I was regretful about what I had said to JJ but I had told the truth.

I didn't want to be a member of the team if all they were going to do was spy on me and worry about me. I didn't need to be worried about.

I didn't want nor deserve to be worried about.

I didn't want to go home to the apartment either. It was full of Maeve. It was full of memories. It was full of nightmares, just like my brain.

I needed to get away from everything.

There was only one thing I knew which would do that for me.

I really didn't want to do it but I knew it was the only way… The only way to get away from the nightmares and the pain. It was diladid.

But I couldn't do it again, could I?

It was the past. It was a mistake. It hurt so bad. It was so hard to get off of. It ruined my life. But it was the only way to forget everything bad.

I'd probably feel ashamed later but I needed to feel better now.

At the BAU

"What do you mean a lot?" Rossi asked perplexed at what Hotch had just said.

"I know Reid isn't getting to terms with Maeve's death well but…" Blake interrupted before Hotch could say anything.

She was just as worried about Reid as the rest of the team. Even though she hadn't been on the team as long as the others she felt as if Reid was one of her closest friends.

Reid had always been there if she needed him. She didn't like seeing him hurt.

"I know, we are all worried about Reid but he doesn't want to be worried about. I didn't hear everything which went on but he seemed pretty mad. What happened JJ?" Hotch asked as the group turned to JJ.

"Honestly, I don't really know. He was just so mad and he said something about he doesn't care what others think and he hates us worrying about him. He also shouted something else but I was just so amazed that I can't remember anything that happened. Why was he so mad at me?" JJ asked as she came out of her state of shock.

"Yeah, I know. Hotch, if I was you man, I would locate Reid and make sure he was ok. He said he was going to quit but I am really not sure he meant it…" Morgan said.

He was worried and concerned. He knew about Reid's drug past and he knew that he was vulnerable.

Reid was vulnerable to almost everything but Morgan had seen him change.

He was very closed off lately and would want to work more and more.

He hated how he felt responsible for anything bad that may happen to Reid. Even though most of it had nothing to do with Morgan.

"Yeah, I'll go and see him tomorrow. At the moment I think he needs some space. I guess he just needs some time away from us. I'll check on him tomorrow morning. He is pretty annoyed at me at the moment. I don't think he needs us to bother him right now…" Hotch said as he was trying to hide his worry over Reid.

Hotch would have to tell Garcia what was going on if she didn't already know and then he would probably get her to track Reid.

He might have been over paranoid but how couldn't he be. Reid was an ex-addict. He could relapse.

'No Reid wouldn't do that, would he? No,' Hotch thought as he saw the team think the same things. He couldn't believe he could think such things about Reid but everything he was thinking was justified.

Reid was an ex addict who was craving his favourite drug at that moment… diladid. None of the team knew Reid was craving but they all knew he was suffering from Maeve's death.

With Reid

Reid was in his car sitting outside a drug store.

There was a whole debate inside his mind.

Should I do this? Should I not? What will be the consequences? People I love will get hurt but do they really love me back? What will they do if they find out I have done it? Who cares anymore? Reid thought to himself as he got out of his car.

'Who cares?' was a thought that would take over his brain as he went into the drug store.

At the BAU

"Hotch, you can't do that. He could hurt himself. He could do something really stupid. I don't know about you but I'm going to check on him as soon as I leave work. I need to know he is alright!" JJ said to Hotch.

JJ was upset and hurt by what Reid had said to her but she knew he was having troubles at the moment. She was so worried about him. She knew what he could do when he was upset and she knew what he could do if he was worried.

She knew him better than most people but lately he was becoming distant and it felt as if parts of him had died when Maeve had.

The parts of him which had died were the loving part and the part which controlled his emotions and actions.

She wanted her old Spence back but she knew he needed saving and love to get back there.

"Ok, JJ. Someone should tell Garcia what has happened…" Hotch said as he turned around.

There behind him was Garcia with a fluffy pen in her hand.

She had a bright blue dress on with a green cardigan. She was wearing sparkly high heels and had a blue bird hair pin in her hair.

"What has happened?" Garcia said puzzled.

She didn't know what was going on but she felt a bit lonely in her tech heaven. The rest of the team looked at each as JJ said "It's a really long story…"

"What do you mean by that? Where's my baby G man?" Garcia asked worriedly as she looked around and saw Reid wasn't around.

"Baby girl, Reid shouted at JJ then stormed off. Me, Hotch and Blake tried to go after him but Reid had driven off by the time I reached him. Me and JJ are going to go to his apartment after work. But at the moment we don't know where he has gone and we are really worried about him. Can you track down where he is, Baby girl?" Morgan asked calmly.

He knew Garcia would be a bit shocked and probably would want to know more but at the moment he needed to know where Reid was before it was too late.