"Hello Ronnie Speaking"

His voice rang out seizing all conscious thought; I could no longer breath as I listened to him. My guts clenched and tears formed in my eyes over again. It was so hard to sit here and listen to him. Listen to the man I had only dreamed of talking to again. I bit my bottom lip. Could I really drag him into this again? He had only just attained his freedom. Would this be fair on him at all?

"Hello?"

His voice rang out again and I flinched. I bit back more tears and took in a shaky breath preparing to lie like I had never done before.

" H-hey Ronnie, its me S-Sam" I said softly trying so hard not to stuttered but the fear laced in my bones. What would he think of me now? The time between us talking had been vast. I heard the breath on the other line falter slightly. I shrank into myself.

"H-hey Sam" he replied his voice taught and tense. He didn't want to be hearing from me. I let my head sink as the hair feel in front of my face. Tears dripped down and onto the moulding carpet below me. My frame shook with the silent tears that I shed.

" I heard you were o-out I just wanted to see how you w-were" I breathed out clasping the phone so hard my knuckles turned white. Clinging to this weak little plastic device like a lifeline. I flinched again as the banging grew louder. I wanted nothing more than to beg and plead with Ronnie to come and save me from my hell. But I couldn't burden him with me again. He had just got his life back; I wasn't going to take it all away now.

" Look Sam its great to hear from you b-but…" the bang continued and there was a loud crack as the door began to give way. " what was that?" he questioned

I flinched back and bit back more tears as I saw the wood caving under the force being laid into it.

" Look I go to go, I totally understand Ronnie. I wouldn't want to talk to me again either" I breathed tears running down my face

" What Sam wait!" I closed the flip top and lent back against the wall tears cascading down I couldn't drag him into this again. I knew that the only reason he would come now as a sense of duty, not because he wanted me back. I was a burden to him. I always had been. I got to my feet and dashed for the window as the door fell after one last crack I grabbed the keys off of my bedside table and jumped out of the second story window. Hitting the ground hard on my side I let out a cry of pain before dragging myself to my feet and limping for the car. I wouldn't stay here I wouldn't continue to be a burden.

Getting in I let the car roar to life before reversing out of the drive way and speeding down the road. The world whipped by me as the tears laced my vision. The rain pelted down onto the ash vault and the windshield. The window whippers were having a hard time clear everything out of the way. But I didn't really want to see the world around me. I just wanted it to stay, as it was a blurred mess. Here I could think. My mind strayed to all of the times Ronnie and me were together. What we had done. What we had gone through. I knew he wanted to distance himself from the path. To get away from all of the bad memories that haunted him still.

I wouldn't go to him. I wouldn't ruin everything he had been fighting for, for the last four years. The tires slid under me slightly as I turned a corner, I didn't know where I was going I was just letting my mind stare my body blankly.

I was brought to a stop outside a house. I looked up recognising it immediate. It HIS house. Ronnie. Tears shot down my face as I stood outside of the car looking up at the place I knew oh so well. The rain pelted down onto me. I dashed back into the car as the front door opened and peeled away from the curb I wouldn't face him. Not ever. He was better off without me.

As I continued to drive along, the weather grew more treacherous not that I cared. My mind was wrapped around one thing. Ronald Joseph radke. The man I loved but could, no would never touch again. This was what was best. For me to be away from him. He didn't need to have to clean up after my messes anymore. I would leave him to live his happy life. To reach for fame. To prove everyone wrong. He was going to make it. He was going to be strong and be the best. I knew he would. He didn't need me there to do that. He was fine on his own; he still had so many people with him.

I was not necessary for him. I was just a burden that could only hinder him. Killing his final chance. I wouldn't let that happen not now, not ever.

My head shot up as I heard a screeching. Slamming on the breaks the tires slid over the water coating the ash vault. The car spun then everything was thrown upwards through the air, rotating. Everything in the car whirling around. My body flung around like a cheap doll. Everything paused in slow motion as I saw the river coming.

Before I had time to register what had happened, the car had submerged. The water rushed in coating everything. Strangling. It held me pinned to the chair. My seatbelt was jammed stuck. No matter how I tried, it would not budge. The water coated my lungs as my mouth opened, to try and find the life source, air. My tears merged with the water around them. My chest convulsed and clenched painfully in its search for air. But all it could find was water. The world began to fade.

This had been my escape.

But I was never meant to.

The only way to escape this.

Was to let the world take me.

So here I lay.

Lost in the water.

Hand floating up.

As though to grasp a fellow outstretched one.

One that would never come.

So I let go.

Having only his face linger in my thoughts.

So Keep My Casket Closed