Day 1: Dealing with Ghouls

Remus resumed his Lily-looking at breakfast the next morning. He noticed there were several small, circular marks on Lily's neck just above the collar of her shirt. They were most definitely his doing.

And James had spotted them.

Uh-oh.

"Evans - has Dapperly been giving you trouble?" he called out down the table, pointing to his own neck.

Lily blushed in response and smiled at Remus.

Oh. Oh?

This was a very dangerous thing to do. It muddled Remus' mind, already vulnerable in its early morning state, and made him think all sorts of daft thoughts. One of them being that it was a good idea to smile back at her. Until he noticed Sirius was watching him.

And Sirius definitely wasn't smiling.

Keep it together, Moony. Don't make Padfoot Madfoot.

He looked down at his plate. Toast and scrambled eggs.

Scrambled eggs. Tasty with a dash of pepper. Yum-yum.

You know what else would be tasty with a dash of pepper? Lil—

Not now, you werewolf mutt.

Besides, Remus thought, Lily was more than tasty enough without pepper.

No I didn't. Why would I think a daft thing like that?

He should probably just keep his head down. And hope Sirius hadn't learnt Occlumency since last night.

If he has, I'm toast.

He looked down at his toast. Being toast didn't look so bad. It looked better than being hexed by James Potter, at any rate.

"Evans, there's a great new curse I've been dying to use, just let me have a crack at Dapperly later, it'll be hilarious, I promise—"

Lily ignored James and smiled at Remus. Sirius looked suspiciously between Lily and Remus. Remus kept looking at his toast.

I need some help here, toast.

Maybe his toast had the answer to all his problems.

Unfortunately his toast didn't say anything. He tried to ply it with butter. But it stayed stubbornly silent.

Curse you, non-magical toast.

Well, if hats and portraits could talk, he didn't see why his toast had to keep quiet.

Lily kept Remus-looking. Sirius kept Remus-looking. Remus turned around and looked at some Hufflepuff.

Peter looked at Remus.

"Moony, why are you eyeing up the Hufflepuff second year girls?"

I don't know Peter. Maybe it's because I'm barely awake. Maybe it's because if I look at Lily I'll do something stupid, like smile, or blush, or wave. And when Inspector Potter and Detective Black catch me sending a loving look or two down the Gryffindor table, they will proceed to beat me to a pulp with those stale hash browns on the plate in front of you.

And I don't know if I'm more scared of telling Lily we can't be together because of James, or more scared of telling James I've been with Lily.

Remus sighed and went back to his toast.

James let out a smitten sigh as he gazed across the Charms classroom.

"She's broken up with Hamish", he said to no one in particular, but Sirius, Remus and Peter all knew who he was talking about. "Diggory told me after breakfast."

Amos Diggory. Sixth year Hufflepuff. Always looking cheerful about something or other. Good at: Quidditch, Herbology, and apparently knowing every intimate detail of Lily Evans' love life.

Although maybe not the newest detail. Me.

Remus tried to concentrate on his work, but his attention kept being drawn in a very similar direction to James', and he had to stop and remind himself why he should be concentrating on Charms instead of the charming Miss Evans.

It's not fair to James because he's liked Lily since forever.

The problem was, James liking Lily didn't make him like her any less. And besides, Remus didn't know why James had to pick Lily. Girls were practically falling over themselves to get him to notice them.

But he knew that James only wanted one girl.

I only want one girl, too.

The same girl.

If only Lily had a sister.

He remembered that Lily did, in fact, have a sister.

Petunia Evans, remember? Actually, on second thoughts, don't remember her. Eww.

Lily had invited him round once in the summer holidays last year. James had been so jealous he'd refused to speak to him for a week when they'd got back to school.

It may be slightly longer than a week this time.

There was an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach.

It might have been guilt. Or it might have been because Sirius was poking him in the stomach.

"Remus", he hissed. "Help me."

"What is it?" he whispered back, because Sirius looked really worried. Like someone had died worried.

"Have you done the homework?"

Every week.

"Yes."

"Can I borrow it?"

Remus reached into his bag with a long-suffering sigh and pulled out the homework he had so diligently done earlier in the week. While Sirius had been off doing God only knows what.

Probably some Hufflepuff witch.

"You're a lifesaver, Moony." Sirius grinned.

Moony.

Lily had once asked why James, Sirius and Peter called him that. He'd said it was because he was pale.

"Well, I'm pale too Remus. Maybe they should call me Moony as well."

"They only call me that because I'm so pale and pasty – I mean, I look like death warmed over most days.

"Come off it, Remus! I think you look a bit better than death."

"You never know – death might be a looker."

And Lily had laughed.

"I still don't know why James doesn't call me Moony. He's always got some new nickname for me, and it's better than most, at least."

"Well, James definitely doesn't think you look like death warmed over. It's probably because I'm pasty-pale and you – you're more – um – pretty-pale instead."

And he'd been about to carry on and say all sorts of things he wouldn't ever be able to retract, but he'd stopped himself and mumbled an apology. And Lily had smiled and blushed, but then the smile had disappeared and she had given him a long, searching look, like she wanted him to say something more. And they'd been standing alone together in a corridor. And he'd muttered some excuse about having to be somewhere. And that had been his day.

Moony.

You're a werewolf. Lily deserves better than a werewolf.

Remus looked at his cauldron in despair. His own potion was a black gloop he doubted even Slughorn could salvage.

- So, Mr Lupin, care to explain your recent drop in Potions grades? Haven't been concentrating in class?

- On the contrary, professor. I've been concentrating very hard.

- Well, what on earth have you been concentrating on then? It can't have been your ingredients.

- Ah, you see, professor – it's –

- Well, Lupin?

- Lily, sir.

- Gilly? Like gillyweed?

- Yes sir. Lilyweed. Lilyweed.

He looked up at a certain bench at the front of the classroom. A certain bench where Severus was showing Lily how to crush Sopophorous beans. Which involved Lily holding a knife. And Severus holding Lily's hand as he demonstrated. Several times.

Just let me eat this one, Moony. Even Severus can't taste that bad.

He chopped one of his own Sopophorous beans with enough force to leave the knife embedded in the table.

Careful, Snivellus.

For once, he was tempted to listen to werewolf-Remus.

His eyes travelled blearily across the page in front of him.

…most often in graveyards. Amongst other places, ghouls can also be found to reside in the vaults of tall churches, the attics or upper rooms of mansions or old houses...

Animated whispers were coming from the table next to his.

…in graveyards. Amongst other places, ghouls can also be found to reside in the vaults of tall churches, the attics or upper rooms of mansions or old...

There was a gasp of surprise.

…graveyards. Amongst other places, ghouls can also be found to reside in the vaults of tall churches, the attics or upper rooms of mansions or...

"No!"

…places, ghouls can also be found to reside in the vaults of tall churches, the attics or upper...

He realised he'd been reading the same sentence in his Defence textbook for the last minute. Maybe he should have gone to the library instead of the Common Room if he wanted to get some work done. At the adjacent table Lily and Alice were having a conversation that seemed to consist entirely of whispers and giggling.

Alice Prewett. Sixth year Gryffindor. Short, mousy-haired, sweet girl. Looks cute when she falls asleep in History of Magic. Best friends with Lily Evans. Good at: distracting Frank, going missing with Frank, making Frank say daft things, gossiping with Lily, threatening to put James and Sirius in detention, arguing with James and Sirius when they tell her she isn't a prefect, demanding I put them in detention for her, arguing with me. Marauder Prank Hit List: absent.

Alice noticed he was watching her and gave him a look of amusement. The kind of look that made him feel like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing.

What, me?

He pointed to himself and Alice nodded with a knowing smirk. Then she motioned towards Lily and blew him a kiss.

Lily turned around in horror. Alice started giggling again.

"Hi Remus", she said brightly, as Lily coloured and whispered furiously for her to be quiet, "I hear Prefect Patrol was more fun than usual last night—" she dissolved into laughter as Lily clamped a hand over her mouth and forcibly dragged her away up the girls' staircase.

He watched them go, perplexed, and returned to his textbook, finishing his chapter on Dealing with Ghouls. He wished the next one was called Dealing with Girls, but it wasn't; it was Dealing with Giants and Goblins instead. And then on to Grims and Grindylows.

Near the back of the book there was a chapter titled Dealing with Werewolves. Somehow it didn't seem fair that Lily could read about him, but there wasn't anything he could read about her.

Except for the poems James writes for her. And those little hearts he draws with J+L inside them.

Dealing with Guilt would have been useful too.

"What if we turn all the desks in Flitwick's classroom into— no…" James broke off and looked up at the ceiling for prank inspiration.

It was after supper. The Mauraders were sitting on a sofa in the Common Room. All four were deep in contemplation. Peter sat up suddenly in excitement.

"I've got it! What if we vanish some of the staircases – wait for it – and replace them with illusions of staircases – wouldn't that be hilarious?"

"So some first year falls through the stairs and dies when he tries to get from Defence to Transfiguration? That would be a hoot, Wormtail."

"Really – oh – I thought it would be funny…"

"Well if you keep trying to be funny, you'll land us all in Azkaban, so tone it down a bit."

"Right… sorry... I guess we can't poison the pumpkin juice on the Slytherin Table then…"

"No!"

"We could replace the Fat Lady with that drunk monk again?" Sirius offered.

"Last time we did that no one could get into the Common Room for three days, remember? – we had to fly in through the dormitory window on our broomsticks – and Peter slipped off his—" James said, grinning at the memory.

"Only because it was raining that day!" Peter protested.

"Sure Pete, keep telling yourself that…"

"We were fifty feet up! I could have died!"

"Come off it! - you missed the chance to become a pranking martyr. It's a damn shame Moony had his wand out and levitated you before you hit the ground—"

Sirius turned to Remus.

"Any ideas, Moony? You've been pretty quiet."

The reason Remus was being quiet was because it was nearly Patrol time, and Lily had just emerged from the girls' staircase, and oh merlin she was practically skipping over, looking entirely too enthusiastic for someone who was about to walk laps of cold, damp corridors for a few hours.

That is – um – all we'll be doing.

"Hey", she said breathlessly.

And then she put her hand out for him to take.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

He looked at the hand. What a lovely, pretty, awful hand it was.

James and Peter stopped arguing and looked at the hand.

Acting on desperate inspiration, he took the hand and made a show of pulling himself up off the sofa, letting go of Lily as he did so, and hurried out of the Common Room into the blessed safety of an empty corridor. Lily followed him.

And then he did something he'd wanted to do all day. He kissed her. And there wasn't a damn thing James Potter or Sirius Black could do about it.

Guilty bliss.