Through My Open Window

Chapter Two

broken notes

faith in life
it died in my hands
last night.
ending everything
all at once.
out of tune
nails on the chalkboard
that is your mind
but is it your mind
or has it become mine?
my notes scathe across your ears
incorrect pitch
like a scream in the night
for help but no one comes.
like an endless stream of
things through your mind
cold and frigid
but is there life therein?
or has it all died?
notes like bloody ice
crumble and break
melting into crimson rivers
of fire
to light the depths
of the oppressive
night.
~*~Brenda K. Sims~*~

Rukia was at a loss for what to do. She couldn't comprehend what had just happened. She sat in the room where Ichigo was sleeping, or unconscious, she wasn't sure which, and in the end it didn't really matter which it was. She hadn't even bothered with her gigai. She was sitting cross-legged beside her friend and didn't know what condition he was going to wake up in. She could only imagine what both he and Renji were going though, only Renji couldn't remember any of it. She leaned back on her hands and for the first time was so lost for what to do she could barely stand it.

The door slid open and Urahara peeked in. "Rukia-san, please, I would like your help. Inoue-san is here and can sit with him in case he wakes."

She nodded, standing and leaving as Orihime walked in, her own face stricken as she sat down beside Ichigo. She went into the next room to find Renji in a much similar state.

"What is it that you want me for?" she asked with a sigh as she came in.

Urahara nodded, his act of joviality and coy innocence completely forgotten. "I wish to restore Renji's memories of what happened."

Rukia blinked. "What? Why? Won't that…I mean…"

Renji shook his head. "Rukia, I have to know. We're guessing right now. I mean, the evidence is pretty damn sure, but I have to know. It was my body that was used, my mind may have been asleep, but Urahara thinks he can bring the latent memories to the surface. If I know what happened…maybe I can…figure out how to deal with it."

Rukia gave her friend a pained smile. "If you're sure, Renji. I mean, I can't deny you knowing. And we don't even know if Ichigo will be willing to tell us when he wakes. It…may be for the best."

A few minutes later, they had arranged things, and brought Tessai down to help with the complicated kido that they would be casting on Renji. Tessai warned them that the effects of unlocking something of that nature was going to be very unpredictable, and since the hollow had an animal's mind, that would be what Renji remembered.

Renji closed his eyes and waited for a long time and then felt the buzzing sensation in his head. There was a flash behind his eyes and his head dropped back, eyes wide and glassy as the world in his mind shifted and changed.

Simple thoughts raced through his mind at once. Where, where is that… Renji saw himself, fighting a hollow he vividly remembered, and he realized that he was seeing through the hollow's eyes. It had been easy to fight, and he'd been slashed by the barbed tendril. It had been a very minor wound, but that had been when it transferred into him. A sickening feeling and then he was watching the world from his own eyes for a second, then sleep seemed to claim him, or rather, it.

Then he was leaving the shoten. The mind raced with a single thought. Find mate. That was it, and it was following a visible scent that was floating through the air. Mate…it repeated. Hurry, before another comes to claim Mate before me… Everything made perfect sense as he zipped through the air, the world flashing by him and then he was sitting on the ledge of a familiar window where the curling smell was coming from inside.

Renji wanted to scream no, leave him alone, but of course, this was a memory and no such thing could happen. He slipped through the window seeing the orange headed shinigami substitute sleeping deeply in his bed. Mate, yes, mate…the thought burned through Renji's mind and his stomach turned. He was already untying the obi and wrapping it around Ichigo's wrists securing them. Mate, strong mate, strong mate fight… Take mate. Make mine. There was an overarching feeling on intense loneliness that seemed to be associated with the thoughts. He crawled over him then, staring into his face until he watched as Ichigo's eyes opened in surprise and shock. He heard his voice, and Renji understood the words, but the hollow didn't know what he was saying. He felt the annoyance flood the simple mind. Noisy mate, it thought and reached down to grab a pair of socks, shoving one into his mouth and tying it tight with the other.

Renji read the annoyance in Ichigo's face slowly changing to fear. He was starting to realize that this wasn't a joke or a prank. He started screaming at him through the gag and trying to kick him. Again, the hollow grew annoyed and got off the bed, grabbing Ichigo's belt. Noisy mate, moves too much. Stop mate. And he cinched the belt around his ankles and moved up behind him. Renji wanted to scream as he watched himself do something he never would do to anyone, let alone someone he considered his best friend… When he was done, he felt his face smile and the thought was so simple as happiness flooded the simple minded hollow. Good mate, good mate, mine. His hand reached up and untied the blood soaked obi and left him. Mate need nest, he though and he watched as the rest of the night consisted of him stealing various things from houses and taking them to the nest they'd found.

Renji remembered the next day going back to Soul Society. Then the hollow would wake and not scent the mate and would grow annoyed and return to sleep, unable to return because he didn't know the way.

Then to his horror he watched as he went every night to him. The hollow's simple mind only filled with a deep need to create life within the mate. It was growing frustrated that the mate didn't seem to have a kit yet, and forced himself with more and more violence upon him, growing annoyed and angry because Ichigo kept fighting him and trying to scream at him to stop. The hollow was growing irritated because the mate should submit and be docile, not fight him anymore. Maybe the mate was upset that he was not in a next yet. Then the hollow decided that he would just take his mate the nest to get his desired result. Then he was confused as to why he didn't respond afterward. Renji knew that Ichigo was sick, his face red and flush and radiating a feverish heat. The hollow yelled again and again to him to heal. The hollow was growing more and more annoyed at his mate, and Renji could sense that the hollow was becoming unstable more and more by the moment.

Renji sat up and sobbed a long gasping breath, feeling arms around him he knew to be Rukia's.

"Oh kami, no….no…" he muttered, turning and burying his face into Rukia's chest trying desperately to get his breathing under control. "Rukia, he's going to hate me…he'll never…how could he even stand to see me…"

"Renji, what did the hollow do?" Urahara said, already having his suspicions confirmed by the extreme reaction to the memories that Renji was having.

Renji shook his head. "It wanted a mate, and it was the night with that hollow that had all those tendril arms, remember? It barely scratched me. That's when it got into me. That night, before we were called back the next day, remember we saw Ichigo at the field and you said he looked upset about something. That was after…after it…it attacked him the first time… It followed this visual smell to him, like a rope almost and it was thinking that a good mate fights, so it tied him with my obi, and then it just kept getting annoyed that he was talking, he thought it was a joke at first, Rukia, he thought it was me and I was messing with him, even when…when it…" Renji stopped and swallowed hard. "It got so mad that Ichigo kept trying to kick it, to push him off, he just kept binding him up further and further until…" Renji took a gasping breath almost unable to breath. "Then…it got so mad because he wasn't with a kit yet, and that he was still fighting him. And he was building that nest, for when the kit came, it just was so sure about that, that he would have a kit soon. It was the only thought it had. And then it kept getting madder and madder at Ichigo…and more violent and more forceful. Then he took him to the nest, thinking he had to be there, but then he was mad because he was sick…"

Urahara nodded, patting Renji on the back. "I was afraid that was the case. Hollows are not known to take no for an answer. They're animals on a base level. I'm not surprised that it would have reacted that way to Ichigo being unable to bear young. It wouldn't understand the difference in males and females because hollows don't have genders…and a strong hollow mate would fight rather than be mated, but then it would be angry because after he mated, he should have stopped fighting."

Renji stood up and started to pace, his hands threaded through his now messy red hair. "I can't…what…how… I should have known something was wrong! Why was I so stupid? Waking up with blood on me, what kind of idiot doesn't realize something bad is happening with that? I could have done something…I could have stopped this…"

Rukia put her hands on his arms and stopped him. "Renji, none of that is going to help Ichigo. Or you."

Renji frowned. "Me? I wasn't the victim, Ichigo was…"

Urahara put a hand on Renji's shoulder. "No, you are too. You are just as much the victim, Renji, please, you have to remember that."

"But I wasn't…and he was…so he…"

"No, Renji, don't do this to yourself," Rukia said softly. "You were used to hurt him. You were forced just as much as he was."

Renji didn't buy it, though, but he gave her a nod. He wasn't the victim. No, Ichigo was the victim, not him. He was fine. He was going to be fine. Ichigo was going to be the one that needed help, not him. Rukia looked at Urahara. "They can't stay here, Ichigo's going to be in who knows what condition, and Renji's not going to be worth anything for hollow hunting."

"I'm fine," Renji said, shaking his head.

"You aren't fine anymore than Ichigo is going to be fine when he wakes up. Don't argue with me," she said giving him a glare that brokered no argument.

Urahara nodded. "I think both may be better off in Soul Society. I need more tests on Renji to confirm if it was indeed something that came from Aizen. And we don't know what, if anything, it did to Ichigo that we don't know about yet."

Rukia nodded. "What about Ichigo's family?"

Urahara heard a light knock on the door. "Enter," he called, and both Renji and Rukia were shocked to see Isshin Kurosaki standing there in his typical Hawaiian shirt and slacks. His face, however, was lacking the jovial look they were used to seeing.

"Isshin-san, thank you for coming," Urahara said as he walked in. He glanced at Rukia and Renji, both in their shinigami forms. "And yes, he can see and hear you."

"Has he awakened yet?" Isshin asked Urahara.

"Not yet, but we expect it any time. I was correct, I retrieved Renji's memories. The hollow was very simple minded and planted with a drive to procreate instead of consume. I believe it was sent to target White," he said with a deep sigh.

Isshin nodded. "I was afraid you were going to say that. He had become withdrawn and stopped going to the warehouse to train with Shinji."

Rukia stared wide eyed. "Wait, you know about Ichigo?"

Isshin nodded solemnly. "Since the first day when you tried to replace the memories of my family. Actually, I had known well before then, but I wasn't sure how things would play out. I had been afraid something like that would happen from the day Grand Fisher killed his mother. His power was awakening on its own and drawing in the hollows. His soul was far too powerful at that age. I should have seen it and had Urahara intervene sooner."

Renji and Rukia were both speechless. Urahara smiled. "There will be much explaining, but Isshin-san was captain of the tenth division before he gave up his life in Soul Society to become savior to Masaki, Ichigo's mother, and bind the hollow that was attempting to take her over from within. She was a Quincy, not a shinigami, and the hollow was Aizen's creation. That is the hollow that is inside Ichigo now and supplies part of his powers."

"Still, that is needless here nor there, the question is what are we going to do now?" Isshin said, looking at Urahara.

"His safest bet is to go to Soul Society where I can work with Unohana-taichou to figure out what, if anything, the hollow did to him that we haven't seen," Urahara said with a nod. "And Renji-san needs to be seen to as well."

Renji groaned. "Look, I'm fine, I'll be fine, take care of him, I…I don't need…he's the one who was…was…oh kami…I'm going to be sick," he said, turning and bolting for the bathroom. Rukia took off after him.

Isshin looked at Urahara. "So it was as you suspected when you called this morning?"

Urahara nodded. "Renji is still trying to accept the fact that he was used to rape his best friend. And from what he said, the hollow was becoming increasingly aggressive and violent because of Ichigo's seeming inability to produce offspring that it desired, and the fact he continued to fight him instead of submitting once it claimed him as mate. It was quite confused, from what I can tell."

"You purified it?" Isshin asked, looking toward the window.

"I had to, we weren't sure if it would grow more powerful and more violent. It was a danger to Ichigo and Renji. I have enough readings though to get any information we need," he said, smiling wanly at Isshin. "What do you think we should expect?"

Isshin shook his head. "With Ichigo? Who knows? I imagine he'll blame himself for it. Somehow, he'll turn it around to having been his fault. He will no doubt try to play off the fact that Renji was more violated than he was, and will attempt to forgo any help."

Urahara nodded. "I would tend to agree. What did you see before today?"

"He was withdrawn, and claimed to have the flu so he could stay home. He wouldn't leave the house and he'd taken to locking himself in his room. When I went up earlier, I found he'd been keeping his window locked tight even in the heat. He'd also tried to get rid of his bedding, but he obviously wasn't thinking clearly because he just threw it in the outside trash bin. I'm honestly surprised he didn't end up in the hospital as much of a fever as he had. I'd been giving him medicine for that, and he kept saying it was just the flu and refused to let me examine him. I'm guessing he developed an infection from the first time the hollow attacked him."

"Now if we could just get Renji to believe that it was a hollow and not him that attacked Ichigo…" he said, looking out the door.

"Considering Rukia still blames herself for Kaien's death…do you honestly think it will be easy?" Isshin said, remembering all too vividly when his clansmate was killed by Rukia's blade after the hollow that took over his body had forced her to do so.

Urahara shook his head. "Renj's claim he's fine is obviously false. He's not fine. I have a feeling we're going to be dealing with both of them trying to ignore their own pain out of sympathy for the other."

Isshin nodded solemnly at Urahara. "I think it is best that he doesn't know about me yet," Isshin said. "I'm not sure he could take that much right now. I'm sure Renji and Rukia can no doubt be trusted. I haven't been seen by the others yet. I'll leave him in your hands…but if you have to, send for me. I'll bring the girls through if I must."

"What will you tell them?" Urahara asked. "Mid school year and he disappears?"

"I'll tell them he's gone on a trip with his friends. They're used to his absences by now," he said with a nod. "I should go then before Uryuu or Orihime see me. Are they in the room with him?"

"I believe so. Orihime went in to relieve Rukia, and I believe Ishida-san went in a few minutes later to keep her company," Urahara said with a nod as Renji came back in with Rukia. He was looking much paler than he had been before.

Rukia looked at Isshin. "Are you staying?"

Isshin shook his head. "No, it is best that I keep this from him and his sisters for now. Please don't tell him about me just yet. He has enough to deal with without knowing about me just yet."

He nodded to them and left quietly, leaving the door open as he went. Urahara looked at the two of them. "Rukia, it may be best if you wait for him to awaken, Orihime and Ishida-san are in there with him."

Rukia nodded, watching as Renji sat down with a pained look on his face on the futon. She could tell Urahara wanted to speak with him more. She silently pushed open the sliding door into the room where Ichigo was on the futon, still out completely. Orihime and Uryuu were sitting beside each other, neither one speaking or trying to look at their unconscious friend. Both looked up at the noise and stood, coming to her at the doorway.

"Kuchiki-kun," Orihime whispered. "How is Abarai-kun?"

Rukia shook her head. "What do you two know so far?"

Uryuu and Orhime glanced at each other. "Abarai-kun came and got me and said I needed to come heal Kurosaki-kun immediately, but he didn't want to talk and he looked pale. And then they brought Kurosaki-kun in…and…I…"

Rukia nodded. "You saw the injuries he had."

Orihime swallowed hard and looked over at him and back to Rukia. "Th-there was a bad infection, inside him, and there was a lot of blood everywhere, and…and…what happened?"

Rukia sighed and closed her eyes. "Renji was possessed by a parasitic hollow. It took over his body at night while Renji slept. It…we think it was programmed and sent by Aizen to be led to the hollow inside Ichigo…that's a long story…but…instead of seeking to consume like the hollows normally do, it was driven to seek out a mate and…procreate. It…it started to get more violent with Ichigo after he kept trying to fight him off, and it got angry that he wasn't cooperating like it thought its mate should. It built this nest for him in an old warehouse and took off with him, thinking if it took him to the nest, Ichigo would stop fighting and give it a…child."

Orihime had paled considerably. "What?"

Uryuu looked slightly ill as well. "You mean, it…it thought Ichigo was another hollow?"

Rukia nodded. "Yeah that's basically what it was. If this was Aizen's doing…"

All three of them started when they heard motion from Ichigo's position. Rukia ran over and kneeled down beside him while Uryuu and Orihime did something similar on the opposite side of the futon.

"Ichigo?" Rukia said softly.

His brows scrunched and he groaned, rolling his head and then his eyes snapped open wide. He stared at her for a minute and the turned to look on the other side and saw both Orihime and Uryuu. Rukia had expected him to be jumpy, but what she didn't expect was him to scramble off the futon away from them as soon as he became fully aware of who was around him. His brain wasn't quite on fully, and there was a huge part of him wondering if the rest of his friends had gone insane like Renji had, and he didn't want to find out.

"Ichigo, please, wait," Rukia said as he put himself into the furthest area of the room from them. He honestly didn't want to deal with anything at the moment. "Wait, it's us, we're not going to hurt you, no one is, we…we found out what happened, okay? It was a hollow. He was being controlled by a parasite hollow. You're at Urahara's right now, okay? Inoue healed you when we got you back after we found you, you were really sick. Look, please, try to calm down.

Ichigo swallowed and his eyes shifted between each of them and his mind tried to determine whether there was truth in her words. She was talking, so that meant she wasn't like Renji. It made sense. If it was a hollow, then that would make sense why Renji would act that way, why he would do those things. He slowly slid down the wall he was against and pulled his knees into his chest and watched them.

"Stay over there," he said finally, dropping his chin onto his knees. "Just…stay there."

Rukia nodded and glanced at Orihime and Uryuu who were both extremely confused by his strange behavior. She nodded again at them and kneeled down on the floor. Both Orihime and Uryuu followed suite. The door slid open a few moments later and Ichigo's eyes snapped onto Urahara.

"Ichigo," Urahara said, noting the distance between him and the others. "I'm not going to come any closer than Rukia-san, okay?"

Ichigo nodded slightly and watched him as he kneeled down beside her. "I'm glad to see you awake. We were getting worried about you. Did Rukia tell you about the hollow?"

Ichigo again only nodded, his eyes continually jumping between each of them. "Good. I know it is hard to understand, but when you are ready, we have some videos that we took of Renji-san…" at the word he noted the shudder that went through Ichigo. "He wasn't in control. The hollow…it was looking for a mate, and it honed in on your hollow. We don't know exactly why, yet. I have all the information to figure it out, but I have to go to Soul Society with both of you so I can see it there is any damage I can't find here."

"I don't want to leave," he said softly.

Urahara nodded. "I know, Ichigo, but it is for the best, if there is something going on I can't find here…"

Ichigo nodded, still keeping his eyes shifting between them all. "You understand, right?" Urahara asked. "You understand that Renji wasn't in control, right?"

Ichigo nodded. "I…I think I knew that from the beginning…" he said quietly. "I…should have come to you but I was afraid if…if it was him, he'd get in trouble…and I didn't want that…I wanted him to go back to the way he was b-before…"

Urahara was cursing the fact that everyone he knew was so willing to martyr themselves for everyone else around them. "That's okay, it really is. But now, we've got to get you both better again."

Ichigo shook his head. "M'fine. J-just make sure that thing is gone…"

Rukia and Urahara both let out a long suffering sigh. "Ichigo, you aren't fine, and neither is Renji, no matter how much you both say it. We released Renji's memories, so he knows what happened, though his memories are clouded by the simple mind of the hollow. It really only had one drive, to create…"

"Kit, wanted a kit…" Ichigo said, his eyes going slightly glassy. "All he said…that and I…I was noisy, he didn't like that at all…or that I didn't want him, he got really mad and yelled and…" He blinked and looked back at them. "Doesn't matter what it wanted, it's gone now."

"We're heading to Soul Society in a few hours. Do you want anything from your house?" Urahara said, taking a firmer tone. Rukia glanced at him with a confused look.

Ichigo shook his head. "No…but pop…"

"I'll take care of it, why don't you get some rest, we'll be just outside the door, okay?" he said, standing and reaching for Rukia's hand. She frowned, but went with him, and Uryuu and Orihime followed out into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, he wasn't going to agree. I know it was a little harsh, but staying here will do him no good," Urahara said as he flipped over a monitor from under the cabinet. He clicked a button and the inside of the room came to life. Ichigo hadn't moved from the wall he'd sat down against. "Please, Rukia-san, can you go through and get clearance for us to come through the Kuchiki Senkaimon?"

She nodded and headed out and went through. Urahara sat and watched Ichigo in the room in silence with Orihime and Uryuu across the table. He sat against the wall and eventually started to rock back and forth just slightly, pulling his legs even tighter into his chest.

"He's not doing well," Urahara said sadly.

"What can we do?" Orhime asked softly.

Urahara shook his head. "I wish I knew, Inoue-san, I wish I knew. Until I do more testing, I don't know if there are any direct effects of the hollow's assaults. I…I'm most worried about the fact it was driven to procreate so desperately. Renji said it was almost the only thought in it's head."

"But it can't have done that with Ichigo, I mean, he's a guy," Uryuu said, frowning as he watched the monitor.

They all started when Ichigo jumped on the screen, spinning around and looking around him with wild eyes. He then settled back against the wall, glancing about again. Urahara guess there had been some noise he'd heard that startled him.

"I wish that was entirely true, Ishida-san, hollows are genderless, remember?" Urahara said, leaning back and scratching his blonde head under his hat.

Orhime gasped. "That…that could happen? But how?"

Urahara sighed. "Let's not worry yet, okay? I have a lot of tests to run before I can even begin to hypothesize on that issue."

Rukia came back shortly. "I brought two hell butterflies for Inoue and Ishida," Rukia said.

"Rukia and I will go through with Ichigo. Renji should go through with you two first. Rukia, did you inform Byakuya what happened?" he asked, turning to her.

She smiled. "Uh, I told him there had been an incident with a hollow involving Ichigo and Renji and we needed to come to Soul Society immediately with you. I figured I'd let you explain."

Urahara nodded and went and got Renji from the other room and asked him to take Orihime and Uryuu through and that they'd meet him on the other side. Urahara and Rukia went in where Ichigo was sitting and staring into space.

"Time to go," Urahara said and held up his cane. Ichigo looked up and nodded, letting him force his spirit form out.

The minute he came out of his body, he fell to his knees and started to dry heave with wide eyes. Rukia dropped down beside him as he gagged and sputtered. He was having trouble getting his breath too, taking gasping breaths for air.

"Ichigo!" Rukia said, gasping.

Urahara started to say something and then felt the senkaimon open and close again and Ichigo fell to his side, heaving long breaths, clutching his stomach.

"Urahara-san!" came Orihime's voice. He frowned and stepped out where Uryuu was holding up a gasping Renji.

"It was like he couldn't breathe once the senkaimon shut, but as soon as we were back here, he started breathing again…" Uryuu said with wide eyes.

Urahara looked back into the room where Rukia had got Ichigo to sitting up on his knees and back in the hall where Renji was starting to stand up off Uryuu.

"Oh… this could be a problem…" Urahara said, glancing between the two again.