The absolute worst way to propose to someone has to be by getting on one knee and holding out a picture of the ring.
Especially if that "picture" is an x-ray of the ring in your would-be fiance's stomach.
But here he was on one knee in the O.R., dressed in scrubs and ignoring the doctors behind him that were waiting to shove the pipe in their hands down Alfred's throat, holding up the x-ray in both hands.
"Alfred F. Jones...will you marry me?"
Too bad the doctors were in a rush to get that ring out before it moved into his intestinal tract. As soon as Alfred's face lit up in that wonderful, beautiful smile of his and he said "Yes, Mattie, Yes!" Matthew was pushed out of the way and they began working. Matthew sighed and sat in the chair beside the bed, taking his hand to comfort him. He couldn't believe that Alfred had to be conscious for something like this.
Maybe it would teach him to be more aware of his surroundings.
The next morning, they were drawn out of their sleep in Matthew's room by a heavy newspaper landing on them, with the headlines in clear view. Matthew groaned, but pulled on his glasses and tiredly looked at it.
"What is this?" Alfred was pulling on his glasses beside him and leaning over so they could both read it.
"NEW CANADA-US ALLIANCE WILL LEAD TO UNION OF COUNTRIES"
Ottawa, Canada (AP) - Yesterday, following a series of talks between the highest levels of both governments, an alliance was announced that will completely shake the foundations of both countries. The Canada-US alliance will be the first dual democracy between nations. More information will become available as the mechanisms for this change are put in place, but sources stressed that the two countries would remain independent nations.
"Basically, we'll be putting 2 senators from Canada and 13 representatives, one from each of Canada's provinces and territories, in the United States Congress. In return, 50 elected representatives from each of the United States will join Canada's House of Commons, and 2 representatives will join their Senate." The source revealed.
At the time of writing this article, the President and Governor General have remained tight-lipped as to the reasons behind and benefits to be derived from such an alliance. Surprisingly, of those US and Canadian citizens polled following the announcement, 76% of them viewed the alliance positively..."
"So, like, you were totally going to ask me to be the wedding planner, right? Because I'll totally do it. This is like, so cool! It's not everyday you get to see a wedding, you know? And Alfred, I know this totally amazing place to get your dress. You'll be like, the prettiest bride ever."
Matthew smirked a bit as he kept reading. Even the article seemed to be acknowledging who topped in this relationship. Alfred, however, didn't seem to have gotten that memo.
"There is no way you're getting me into a wedding dress! I'm not a chick!"
Poland just smiled.