Chapter 2 [Kent Farm]
Even as Lana rushed toward Metro, Clark watched Lois' car turn left onto the main road and disappear back toward Metropolis. He rubbed his forehead while staring out the Loft window toward the cornfields and grass beyond and looking for answers to the latest relationship fiasco in his life.
Just minutes earlier, she'd stood in that very spot lecturing him about being forthcoming. She'd wanted to know more about the Blur.
He couldn't answer because of the Secret. He teetered on the edge of telling her anyhow despite the advice of others in that very barn.
Kara's voice echoed to him: They're humans, Kal-El. You can pretend all you want. What happens when they're old and you're not?
In addition, the Martian Manhunter, had reminded him that his first duty was to Krypton and that culture.
And that wasn't even getting into what Jor-El would think…..
Is this what it means to be a hero? How much sacrifice does one have to do? he wondered to himself. He stalked around the barn and considered the relic that it was becoming.
All around himself, the mementos of a past life loomed large. The pictures sat collecting dust on the table beside the couch. The couch had a layer of dust from not being used as much. Despite his doing chores every day, the cows' baying and the smells around the old barn weighed down on him.
This farm will be taken care of someone. It just doesn't necessarily have to be you, Martha's voice echoed as well.
He frowned, feeling torn between Duty and his feelings once more. Because of his upbringing on both planets, he felt compelled to keep the flame going. Yet the call of modern Earth society pulled at him. How would he fit in?
Lois had told him that Perry White had offered her a big opportunity as an international correspondent in Africa and to work on his story idea together. She'd said she'd stay for him. But given his reluctance to come forward, she seemed to be more reluctant to continue her commitment to him. What her departure meant at that point remained ambiguous.
He sighed again. "Why is it so hard?"
Have faith, Clark.
He watched Lana's ghost shimmer into view in front of himself. Since her own departure from his life, he'd tried to move on with Lois. But, despite the passion, his heart didn't burn with the ardor it had for the Girl Next Door. He admired how her soft brown hair billowed in the breeze. He felt warmth from her eyes shining at him. A white robe accentuated her soft skin against the crimsons and golds of the setting sun and the cool breeze puffing through the wooden structure. "Stop."
Follow your heart, Clark, she bade him.
"I thought I'd moved on," he assumed.
Lana shrugged. One never truly moves on beyond Love. Despite our situation, I love you. Learn to love yourself. Your whole self. Believe in yourself. If you're happy, my Love, then I'll be happy. Even if we're not together, you're a part of me. Believe…believe….believe….. With that, she vanished into the growing twilight.
He felt still heavier weights pressing down on himself. Now he knew he was torn between two women—the one in his life and the one he wanted but couldn't have. "WHY?" He picked up an empty can and tossed it with his super strength into the hayfield across the street. His heart ached. He needed something to distract him from this conflict.
He recalled that Zod and the Kandorians were still at large. A patrol would be great. Talk about killing two birds with one stone! He super sped down the stairs and into the house. Then, after donning the black outfit, he sped off toward Metro and another round of good deeds.