I sure hope you enjoyed that potato chip of a first chapter, because there probably won't be another chapter that short for a while ;)

PART ONE: SHADOW

I looked up and down the hallway, waiting, with my quills bushed out. The last time I saw a guard was several corridors ago… It was far too quiet here. If I was in the right place, I should be swarmed with guards, right? Were Overlanders just stupid? You would think an invention this valuable would be more tightly guarded. The lack of security was more disconcerting than a sudden attack would be.

A specially designed lock pick on the door let out a shrill beep. As I glanced down at it, the pulsing red light on its side solidified into a steady green glow. I took a breath and drew my pistol from the holster attached to my Kevlar vest, which was now part of the standard equipment, even though I was practically bulletproof. Regulations, I swear…

The door slid left, into the wall, and my free hand felt for the "hold" button on the tiny door hacker and pressed it so the door wouldn't close behind me. Carefully I moved my hand from the robotic lock pick to join my other hand on the gun and stepped through the doorway. I needed the gun a whole lot more than the vest. I had not been able to induce Chaos Control for months. All the security was probably within, and I needed that protection.

There was a second door, but it had no locks or handles, and included a circular window that only an Overlander would be able to comfortably see through. So this was it. Beyond this very flimsy, probably-not-radiation-proofed door was a very unstable weapon of some kind. The details did not matter. Lucas Industries had revived a WMD project kept secret for decades, and G.U.N. had jumped in to destroy it.

The air was charged with something almost familiar, like electricity. I noticed that my heart started to beat harder, but I could not trace a single emotion to it. I willed it to slow down, even though I knew it would not actually help. Never had I experienced anything like it before; it was like I could feel the blood moving through my veins with every pulse of my heart. Compared to some of the other missions I had been on, this was a piece of cake. Yet, paranoia convinced me that I was mutating in the radioactive air.

Suddenly, I felt a familiar buzz at my fingertips. I looked at my hands, startled to see that they were trembling, covered in a bright yellow glow.

What the-!I had not attempted Chaos Control! I had not even thought about it! You show up now, do you? When I do not need you at all?

I slid my gun back in its holster and shook my hands out. Golden drops of Chaos flew from my fingertips like rain, burning tiny holes in the floor.

I took a deep breath. I had orders to leave minimal traces of my visit, so I could either disobey a direct order and Chaos Blast a wall apart to drain this new energy or attempt to finish my mission the right way. It was a crying shame I had lost my inhibitor rings a few scuffles ago. I have not been feeling anywhere close to one hundred percent since then. In my mind, my next position was clear: I had to go on, but finish ASAP. Something very wrong was going on here.

I drew the pistol once more and kicked the door open. The pounding in my head and heart got more violent, and my vision swayed. I stepped through the doorway, feeling strangely sick. I recognized the feeling as nausea, even though I had never experienced it for myself.

It was empty. I looked around the half-lit room. It had four white walls, a tile floor, this door, and half-lit fluorescent lights on the ceiling. Maybe I had expected a bit more flair, perhaps a dais or class-enclosed case. But I was not expecting a small figure lying peacefully on the floor.

It was a… child?

For crying out loud!

Nothing was clicking. What is a kid doing in a Lab complex? Unless it was already here…

Against my better judgment, I crouched down beside the sleeping figure. It was furry and wearing some sort of white jumpsuit. It had two dark grey ears, lightly striped reddish-grey fur, and a long, fluffy tail that was curled tightly around its body.

A Cat child? A mobian?In thisOverlander building, of all places? I secured my hands under its arms and lifted it into the air. The mobian's tail hung straight down and its head lolled back.

How long had it been since I had seen – let alone touched - another mobian? It had to have been years, a decade at least. My old partner, Rouge, had been transferred to another sector a long time ago, and we completely lost contact afterwards. Rumor had it that Sonic had joined a band after Dr. Eggman's final defeat. The Fox was probably with him. Knuckles had gone missing; last I heard, he had left civilization without so much as a goodbye to anyone. But what about the others? The pink and silver Hedgehogs, the purple Cat, the little Rabbit, the Chaotix-

Where had they gone?

I laid the Cat back down. I had a mission to complete. Somehow the tracking device on my wrist had malfunctioned, and I had to find that weapon before it became a threat, with or without the help of G.U.N.'s equipment.

But as I withdrew my hands, I realized they were stained red.

Was that… blood?

A mobian child in an Overlander facility is one thing, but a wounded one... I scooped the Cat back up and inspected it for any signs of blood. Nothing. It was all rusty grey and white.

Once again, I laid it on the ground. My gloves were now soaked. Was I bleeding? I stripped off both gloves. My hands were perfectly fine. I flexed them and curled them into fists.

Finally, I stroked the gloves with a bare finger. To my surprise, the thick red mark disappeared wherever I touched it. I switched fingers with the same result. As soon as I got close enough, the redness would flow towards my hand and vanish before touching me. I balled up the glove in my fist and waited a few seconds. I uncurled my hand, and it was white again.

Strange…I thought, and did the same with the other glove. But just as I was sliding it back onto my hand, I caught a whiff of something unmistakable.

It was smoke from an electrical fire, with a hint of gunpowder. Far off I could hear a muffled boom as something exploded.

Time to go.

I snatch up the Cat for the third time- I could not leave it here to burn in its sleep- and dashed through the open doorway, carrying it over one shoulder. I pried the lock pick off the keypad with one hand. The light on it went out and I strapped it to the belt on my vest. I did not have an Emerald or even my inhibitor rings to lend me aid, so I started running down the hall. Where was the unexplainable Chaos Energy when I needed it?

Smoke began smothering the lights in the ceiling and it started getting harder to breathe. I can hold my breath for, oh, twenty minutes or so. But the kid wouldn't last very long like this. Wait a minute, was it even alive? I hadn't even thought to check for a pulse…well, it was not heavy, so I decided to press on. If I could just get to a better ventilated area, I should have enough time to send out a signal to receive directions out.

…Why is the smoke getting thicker? This was the way I had come in. Or was it? I cursed silently. I was probably running the wrong way. I skidded to a stop and started racing back as fast as I could.

Suddenly, there was a massive crackand the ceiling and all of its pipes and wires collapsed in front of me, plunging us in utter darkness. If any time was a good time to attempt an easy escape, it was now.

"CHAOS CONTROL!" I yelled, and the darkness was gone in a flash of light.

Three days later, I sat across a desk from Commander Abraham Tower in a room with no walls.

The effect of the 360 degree windows left me feeling very exposed, and there was no place to hide from the Commander's gaze. It bothered me to no end that he used the exact same intimidation tactics that I did. Did the man ever blink? I had not missed the awkward stare-offs in the months since I had last seen Tower. Such disrespect. To think that he had feared me once.

Tower had his fingers laced together and his elbows on the black mirror-like desk. It was exactly thirty-seven seconds before he smirked - my ear flicked in irritation; did this human throw all of my trademarks back at my face? - and broke the news to me.

"The success of your last mission has earned you a transfer."

I was unimpressed. I did not appreciate his sarcasm.

"What sector?" I asked flatly.

Tower laughed. "Sector? You won't be working for G.U.N anymore. We're sending you to INSTAR."

A research facility? This was worse than being a desk jockey again. The quills on my spine bristled at the unexpected and assuredly bad news. "You cannot do that."

Tower leaned forward, leering. His eyes were narrowed. "Of course I can. As a G.U.N. agent, the government owns you. And I represent the government here."

A cold feeling crept into the pit of my stomach. This couldn't be happening. I had no fondness for G.U.N., but it was quite literally my life. Doing private detective work had lasted less than six months, and after that, I did not have a clue what to do next so I returned here. Had I not just been thinking about all the connections I had let slip away while on my last mission? I had nothing left - nothing but my position here.

I took a slow breath. "INSTAR is a lab, right? Science isn't exactly my area of expertise. Why are you sending me there?"

Tower leaned back in his chair. "I'm glad you asked."

He took a remote off his desk and clicked a button. An image flashed onto the window behind him. It was some sort of lab report. "We did some digging in the weapon's file. We discovered a connection to another, more obscure project."

The image changed into DNA diagrams and some radiation tests. "Your last mission wasn't a failure like you reported. You did, in fact, bring us the weapon we were hunting for. The Demon Project wasn't focused on a WMD at all, at least in the way we were expecting. The Demon Project is a Cat from the Subproject Desdemona. The names are the only unencrypted pieces of information given in the reports."

I could have laughed, but it was very not funny. I also was not surprised. Why did this always seem to happen? Why do scientists not build atomic bombs anymore? Why were they so obsessed with animal –especially mobian- experimentation these days?

"What does this have to do with me?" I asked slowly.

"Well," Tower said, raising his eyebrows, "You seem to have two ears, four limbs, and a nose."

I frowned. "So do most of the other agents."

"Not after encountering Desdemona," Tower's eyes glinted.

My pelt prickled. I was G.U.N.'s best agent; it did not make sense that they would send me away just because a friend needed a babysitter. "I still don't get it."

"You were in the company of the Demon for, oh, seven minutes, yes?" Towers asked.

I nodded.

"The challenging record is two minutes and twenty-three seconds. The man, one of our top agents, lost his arm from the elbow down, along with a large chunk of his leg."

"To a tiny cat?"

"To a tiny cat," Towers confirmed.

"And you're sending me to INSTAR with it so they can… study it."

His grin widened. "Yes."

"And it's my responsibility because it didn't try to kill me while it was unconscious?"

"It would appear so."

I ran a hand over my ear, thinking. I had no choice. If I was supposed to go to INSTAR, well, it is not like I had any other options. But I did have one last question.

"Is INSTAR equipped to deal with it?" I had no intention of spending every second of the next few months keeping the little brat in a cell made of cardboard.

"Her," Towers corrected. "And it was either INSTAR or Blur."

Blur.

My side trains of thought disintegrated. Every quill on my body stiffened at the name. The name of the asylum that held the broken-minded enemies of Mobius, including the infamous Dr. Eggman, who had changed his name back to Robotnik at the asylum's doors. It was funded by Mobius's greatest hero, the Blue Blur himself.

Towers' lips drew back from his teeth at my reaction. It must have been visible how disgusted I was by the abstract reference to him. I cursed my slip of emotions; I had let Towers know he had touched a nerve. Mobius was as corrupt as ever, but my old rival had stopped fighting shortly after Robotnik's final defeat. He was an incredible failure, and a cowardly failure at that.

"Yes," I said quietly. "INSTAR is secure enough. I will go as soon as I'm needed."

"Excellent," Towers said, standing up. "Your plane leaves in an hour."

"…Just down the street from that break-in last week, a lab called "Lucas Industries" burned to the ground in broad daylight! The cause of the fire is currently unknown, but so far, the investigation has unearthed the remnants of some sort of crude bomb… Several scientists were injured in the explosion, but none were killed. A spokesman for Lucas has confirmed that although most of their equipment was destroyed, nothing has been reported missing… The motivation behind the arson is still up for debate, but it appears that whoever is responsible had no other intention but to cause as much damage to company property as possible…"

An incredibly rambunctious family of Meerkats passed between me and the flat-screen, which was mounted to the wall of the airport baggage claim. The interruption broke my concentration, enabling me to process what I had just heard…

Something the anchor had said was bugging me: "…nothing has been reported missing…"

That most certainly did not ring true. I distinctly remembered stealing a young Cat - the whole reason I was in this overcrowded airport in the first place. Was the kitten not the Demon Project after all? Or, more likely, was Lucas Industries pretending she had never existed? Unbelievable. I have possibly saved Mobius from certain doom, yet again, and nobody knows it.

"Shadow the Hedgehog?"

I reached reflexively for my gun, but of course it was not there. G.U.N. had confiscated it for the time being, and I had not had enough time to get another one yet.

"Yes?" I growled carefully, slowly turning my head to eye the jumpy-looking Lynx that had addressed me.

"My name is Trip," the Lynx said, swallowing hard. "I'll be escorting you to INSTAR. Do you have any bags?"

"No," I grunted, and motioned for him to lead the way.

"Er… right," Trip mumbled, and turned to the west exit. He glanced at me over his shoulder, obviously nervous to have me out of his line of sight.

Unsurprisingly, the clusters of mobian travelers fell silent as we passed them, a phenomenon I am used to. Trip the Lynx obviously was not, because his fur bristled more and more as we walked until he resembled a fluffy brown burr. However, the moment we stepped out of the crowded, high-ceilinged room and into the late summer sun, Trip deflated like a balloon.

"This way!" he said cheerily, an obnoxious skip in his step. As we crossed the street, a bus ran a red light and roared by a mere five feet away from us, but the Lynx didn't even break his stride. I decided this male had some serious issues. Perhaps INSTAR had experimented on him at some point.

After roughly ten minutes of following my skipping escort through the evening sunshine, we reached an island of birch trees in the middle of a long-term airport parking lot. The instant I passed under the shadow of the first tree, Trip whirled around, a large gold ring pinched vertically between his finger and thumb.

"Ta-da…" he sang quietly, flicking it with his other hand to make it spin. It caught the light and scattered tiny beams in all directions, satisfying the Lynx immensely.

"A warp ring." I raised an eyebrow.

"Yup," Trip beamed. "Cool, i'nnit? It'll take you straight to INSTAR. I had to take you here to be discreet."

I frowned. So I could not have warped from a bathroom or something? That is why I make my own decisions. In a flash the warp ring was gone from the Lynx's hand and securely in mine.

"So old Finitivus finally spilled…" I muttered, examining the liquid gold ring. Mobius's top engineers had been trying to replicate the eccentric echidna's inventions for years. I glared up at Trip.

"You are a ridiculous waste of time," I informed him, activating the ring. It widened to my exact height and I immediately shoved my leg through the swirling white light. Trip's eyes widened and he lunged for me. "Wait! I'm supposed to go with-"

Not waiting for him to finish his sentence, I leaned all the way through the ring and sealed it behind me, leaving him and his quixotic skipping behind. I knew if I let him through with me he would inevitably resume such frivolities. That would be unacceptable.

The lobby of the INSTAR research facility was bright and airy, but also very empty. I did a slow 180⁰ turn, taking in the window covered walls and white tile floor. Fluffy white clouds drifted across the rich blue sky and an emerald green lawn stretched out to a busy highway, broken only by a large white stone courtyard. Directly above a quiet indoor fountain was a large animated sign that flashed, "INSTAR: THE SEARCH FOR A BRIGHTER TOMORROW BEGINS TODAY." A sleek black receptionist's desk stood in a far corner. One wide hallway stretched in front of me, and the other branched off to the left.

The dignified tapping of leather dress shoes announced the arrival of a dark brown Otter in a white lab coat as he emerged from the corridor to my left. As soon as he saw me standing aimlessly in the middle of the lobby, he directed his course to my side. There was a ringing silence as his footsteps stopped.

"You must be Shadow."

It was not a question. I flicked my ear, waiting for him to continue.

"Are you armed, son?" he asked kindly. I stared at him.

"I just left a civilian airport, without any special clearance from G.U.N.. Of course I am unarmed." I responded dully.

"Ah…of course." The Otter straightened, his brown eyes searching my face. "I am Professor Reed. I'll be escorting you to your new office, so, Mr. Trip, you are free to-"

The Otter froze, suddenly realizing I was alone. "Where is Trip?"

"I left him behind," I muttered. "He was trying my temper."

Interestingly, Professor Reed did not look surprised. "Well, this isn't the first time, nor will it be the last… No matter. Follow me."

Reed led me down the front hallway, which was almost half as wide as the lobby. It was flanked by interior windows on both sides, the lowest reaches of them stroked by sweeping vines, and the rest brushed by wide, exotic leaves. As a stiff breeze caused the plants to sway just right, I could make out more windows on the opposite side.

After a few moments the hallway split, and the Otter took the right fork, down a hallway that had a plain white wall dotted with doors on one side but more floor-to-ceiling windows on the other. We took several more turns, most of the corridors lined with these windows.

Finally, Professor Reed slowed his pace and turned down a final hallway, which was predictably enclosed by windows, but led to a single, unmarked door. He pulled a lanyard attached to an electronic keycard out of the pocket of his lab coat and waved it in front of a small box on the wall by the door. There was a dull thunk and the Otter opened the door, holding it for me.

Inside was a closet-sized space with two other doors, one in front and one to the left. Reed unlatched the door to the left and announced, "Meet your new partner!"

Partner? I narrowed my eyes. I had not been informed that I had to work with someone…!

No. Oh no.

I caught my first eyeful of my new coworker, and oh Chaos, if my throat wasn't clear I would have choked from shock- and it takes a lot to surprise me.

The young male sitting at the paper-covered desk was not so lucky. As his wheeled office chair was spinning towards us, he was taking a long drink from a bottle of water. The moment his deep blue eyes lighted on my face, he inhaled the water and doubled over, coughing and gagging.

"Pull yourself together, Miles," Professor Reed scolded lightly, amused.

The yellow Fox stumbled to his feet, wheezing.

"Please tell me you're joking!" he choked, pushing his bangs out of his eyes.

"I am not," Reed said, turning stern. "You will be working together for as long as this project lasts. I am sure you two will get along famously."

"But-" The Otter stepped back through the door and snapped it shut before the Fox could finish. A few papers rustled in the breeze of his exit. Sonic's closest friend stared at the closed door, unmoving, his mouth hanging open slightly.

As was habit, I crossed my arms over my chest and stared him down. His eyes apprehensively slid into mine.

"Tell me you're not who I think you are," he begged quietly.

"… I remember you," I said, ignoring his plea completely. "You built things for that blue hedgehog."

The Kitsune flinched and flattened his ears like I had hit him. "Y-yeah…."

He sat down suddenly and started rapidly flipping through the papers on his desk. I could immediately tell that there was something… off… about him. It was more than the fact that he was almost as tall as me and wearing clothes, grey sweatpants and a sleeveless red-and-white striped shirt. He had a weird… twitch. I distinctly remembered that he used to possess an insufferable abundance of courage- so what happened to make him so anxious?

"We ran some tests on Subproject Desdemona earlier today…" the Fox said, almost to himself. He turned completely around to dig through a stack of papers on the floor, and at the same time that I noticed a small diamond-shaped tattoo on his neck, I realized I couldn't remember his name.

"What is my purpose here… Tails, is it?"

The yellow Fox turned to stone for a minute, halting in mid-flip. At that moment, I also noticed several silver studs in each ear.

"Miles…" he muttered. Then, in a louder voice, he said, "My name is Miles."

Whatever makes you happy? "All right Miles, how long will this mission take?"

Miles pulled away from the avalanche of paperwork on his desk and started clicking around on his many computers instead. "Maybe I didn't print it yet… how long? Well, we're hoping to socialize her enough to work with, and if and when you accomplish that, G.U.N. will probably take you back."

The original mission was to destroy the alleged "weapon of mass destruction". Now…Socialize? I looked away from him and into a dark corner. I had to track down a rogue G.U.N. agent once, and someone had talked about needing to "socialize" him once he was in custody. The rogue was crazy! He took out half of my team before we could restrain him.

Somewhere in the nest of papers a timer beeped. Miles looked up from the computer, ears pricked. "Huh. Now what did I set that timer for…"

He started digging around in the papers again, this time to find the source of the beeping. I finally took the chance to look around the office.

There were two tables, pushed together into an "L" shape in the far corner, which was where the papers were strewn. At the end of one was a small refrigerator and on the other was a large printer. All the walls were lined with filing cabinets and stabbed through with thumb tacks, which held up various abstract equations. The thin blue carpet was covered in paper as well, but it was also littered with paper balls and cardboard boxes. There were no lights except for what spilled out from the computer monitors and a giant window that took up the top half of the left side of the right wall.

"Ah-hah!" Miles snatched up a small timer and turned it off, but didn't put it down. He frowned at it. "But what did I set it for…?"

While he puzzled over this, I attempted to look through the window without actually moving. Instead of the outside world, it seemed to be showing the inside of yet another room, one without plants. That was strange…

The Kitsune cursed suddenly. I stared at him, a bit taken aback. He threw the timer over his shoulder and yanked the refrigerator door open. It had a few food products in it, but it was mostly filled by tiny, inch-high bottles. He plucked two purple ones off two different shelves and slammed the door shut. He set them on his desk and jumped over a stack of papers to go through his drawers at lightning speed.

"Yes!" he said, holding a syringe in the air victoriously. He uncapped it with his teeth and picked up the purple bottle with a pale liquid swirling around in it. Holding it upside down between his middle and index fingers, the two-tailed Fox fed the tip of the needle right through the top of the bottle and slowly dragged the stopper down. After injecting the contents of one bottle into the other one, which had some sort of powder in it, Miles started gently rolling the bottle up and down his palm, using the needle as an axle.

"We have to do this fast," he said seriously, though it sounded like 'We haff do do dis fasht'. After sucking the mixture back into the syringe, he spit the cap into his hand and popped back over the sharp needle tip. "She has to filter all the anesthesia out of her system soon, of it'll mess with the tests tomorrow."

He handed the syringe to me. "Pull up her scruff and inject this at the base, parallel to her spine."

"You want me to - is it a good idea to stick a wild animal with needles?" I stared at the syringe in my hand.

"It's only one," Miles shrugged. "Besides, she's asleep. This injection will wake her up."

I curled my fist around the plastic cylinder. "How quickly?"

Miles pulled his ears back and grinned like a cornered animal - all teeth. "Who knows, maybe seconds, an hour? But there's only one way to find out, right?"

Guardian Units of Nations Headquarters

Commander Abraham Tower stared intently at a hologram suspended several inches above his desk. The surrounding windows had been electronically tinted, giving the illusion of a pre-mature dusk. A cross-section of an austere-looking building, made completely of blue light, revolved slowly as the Commander studied it.

Wsst.

The door to his private office slid open. The Commander squinted through the blue hologram at the silhouette in his office doorway, sighed, and slid his fingers across the surface of the desk. The hologram flickered and died.

"I didn't think your kind came out in the daylight," he mused, pressing the tips of his fingers together.

Two more silhouettes joined the first. The room brightened as the windows cleared, revealing three mobians standing in a point.

"You were mistaken," said the first. The other two, standing several steps behind him, narrowed their eyes.

Commander Tower sighed. "I suppose you are here for a status report?"

Laughing humorlessly, the first mobian said, "You would suppose correctly. Is everything in place?"

"Yes. The girl is already at INSTAR, as you ordered."

"And the Hedgehog?"

"Shadow should arrive shortly, if he isn't there already."

The mobian smiled slowly. "You have served me well, Overlander."

The three mobians turned on heel to leave, the second and third stopping in the doorway to let their leader pass.

Tower cleared his throat, a bit annoyed by them dashing in and out unannounced. "I have done all you have asked of me. There is little else I can do… so am I free now?"

The first mobian stopped, and raised a relaxed hand into the air. The Commander's heart plummeted to his stomach, all annoyance gone. He could feel that he had just made a terrible mistake.

"To answer your question, no. I have use for you yet." The mobian turned his cold eyes to the white-faced Overlander. "However, in asking, you have violated our agreement. You were to unquestioningly obey my every order. No questions. Good day, Overlander."

He closed his fist tightly. The effect was instantaneous.

"NO! Please!"

The Commander's eyes rolled up in his head as he slammed face-first into the desk and slid, lifelessly, to the floor.

WHAM.

As the first mobian stepped through the doorway, he quietly commanded, "Follow."

The other two silently fell in step behind him. A line of motionless mobians stood at attention, waiting for their leader to pass.

"Status?" he murmured.

"My Lord Draer," one of the guards that had followed him into the office humbly said, "The agent at INSTAR awaits your command."

The lead mobian nodded his understanding. "Tell him to make sure of her influence. Then he is free to rejoin his brethren."

There was a sudden flurry of movement from the left side of the hallway. A scowl grew on the leader's face as he motioned for his followers to stop.

"Ah, you," he muttered. A mobian Hedgehog in a red and gold jumpsuit had his back pressed up against the wall, shaking uncontrollably as he took rapid, shallow breaths through his nose. "I knew you would give me trouble."

He lifted a hand to smooth back the pointed blue ears. A low growl erupted from the hedgehog's throat as he glared at the first mobian with smoldering emerald eyes.

The mobian leader stepped back into line and commanded, "Control him."

The blue Hedgehog clenched his navy-gloved fists and lowered his head to his chest for several moments. When he raised it again, the shaking had stopped and his eyes had dulled. He gave his lord a slow, reassuring smile.

"Very good."

The motley line of followers continued down the hallway of G.U.N. without any further incidents. They walked in sync with perfectly harmonious movements. And burned into every neck was a diamond-shaped tattoo.

A/N: I won't give anything away about that last scene (:3) but I have a quick thing to share about Shadow's narration. I love Shadow, but loathe the way most of his voice actors sound. They make him sound like he's struggling to put words together – the phrase that comes to mind is "verbal constipation." But since his manner of speech is part of his character, I decided that perhaps he thinks differently than he hears people talk, so while his thoughts are formal and contraction-less, his words are carefully slurred to sound more casual. That's why everything but the dialogue sounds so…unnatural. –Ginge, with love