Burning Out
A Kingdom Hearts fanfic
YAJJ
Date: 7/15/2014, 8:15 pm
A/N: Good news: Four years later, I have finally come up with an acceptable title! Burning Out is the brand-spanking-new official title for this fic. And I'm thinking Burning Up for the sequel, but I'll have to check that. Ideas?
Still unbetaed, but I've decided that I don't care, and so I'm not going to ask for a beta-reader. It was probably a stupid thing for me to do anyway, but... I don't care. :)
Warnings: Somewhat strong language used in the first part, because it's told from an exhausted teenager's perspective, and teeny tiny little hint of Axene.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Axe body spray, or anything else mentioned in this story.
Please, enjoy!
Needless to say, come morning, Axel was not in the mood. The boys were way too excitable, he didn't get any sleep, his homework was still not done (surprise surprise) and he couldn't even look in the general vicinity of his dad without feeling confused, embarrassed, and incredibly guilty. So he trudged out the door almost forty-five minutes early—because fuck sleep and, as long as he was at it, fuck hygiene, too—to walk to school. Maybe he'd catch Demyx before whatever band thing was today so they could gripe about school together.
The first thing that Demyx did, when he met with Axel, was drag the redhead to his locker and whip out whatever dorky Axe he had on him. He spent ten seconds spraying the stuff above Axel's head, letting it float down on him, ignoring Axel's murderously annoyed face.
Finally, Axel snapped and whipped his hand up, striking the can away from Demyx with a snarl. The can flew away and hit a wall, dropping to the floor loudly and rolling to a stop in the middle of the hallway.
"Fuck off, band geek."
Demyx barked a laugh and retrieved his Axe, stowing it away in his locker for later use. "Someone not get enough sleep last night, pyro?"
"Someone not get any sleep last night," Axel corrected, crossing his arms with a fierce pout.
"Larxene come over?" Demyx grinned. As Axel's face paled, he burst into laughter.
"No! Larxene did not come over! Shut up, Dem! Like Dad would ever let her stay the night or anything stupid like that!" Certainly not with two six-year-old twins in the room next door. Or with his grades plummeting like they were. Axel sighed heavily. "Dad and I just got into a fight about the last test, and I was studying from six until eleven, and then Dad was being weird so I couldn't fall asleep after that."
"You and your dad sure do fight a lot," Demyx commented. He pulled his clarinet out of his locker—one of the many instruments that he played, and one of the very few that he actually needed practice with.
"Yeah, well… if he didn't set such high expectations… and if earth science wasn't so stupid!" That was the biggest problem. Although Dad did expect a lot out of him.
"Like that'll happen. Seriously, though, tutoring. Just once a week. Go in, get your homework done, and then you can avoid yelling at your dad and we can walk the kids home from school. Great plan, right?"
"I'm not a 'tard. I don't need tutoring for earth science."
"Everyone needs tutoring for something, and it wouldn't make you a 'tard. Besides, anything for the kids, right?"
The kids, of course, referred to Sora, Roxas and Naminé his cousin. Demyx adored the boys nearly as much as Axel did, he just didn't quite get the chance to show it. So it was little surprise that he would do anything for them
Axel sighed and glared at his friend. He didn't want to argue about it. "...Yeah. Fine. I'll go."
Of course, Axel didn't go.
School sucked. He almost fell asleep in literature, did fall asleep in math and earth science, and the teacher made him sit out in . The only one that he'd managed to stay awake in was choir, and that was for obvious reasons. So he waited for an hour on a bench outside for Demyx to finish whatever swimming thing he had, homework sprawled in his lap and not making any sense to him. He gave up after a while and shoved it all back in his bag, watching for Demyx to come out.
Naturally, the first thing that the musician did was ask how tutoring went. Axel lied and said it went well, and then asked what on earth those ridiculous instruments were that he was hauling home.
"A tuba, for Sora," said Demyx, lifting his right hand to indicate the thick black case that he was wheeling home, "and a cello, for Roxas." He lifted his left hand to show off the red, string instrument-shaped case that was also being wheeled behind him.
"For the boys to ride?"
"It's the only reason I ever bring instruments home." It was a wonder that the music teacher hadn't questioned why Demyx only brought home big instruments. He would bring home a third instrument, for his little cousin Naminé who lived with him, but she seemed to prefer his shoulders to any instrument. Even over his sitar case.
"Ha! They've got you wrapped around their little fingers, three times over."
"Like they've got you wrapped any less!"
"Yeah… but… they're my brothers!"
Demyx only laughed and offered the cello to Axel. Though the redhead groaned animatedly, he did take the instrument case so Demyx wouldn't have such a hard time, and they started their walk over to the elementary school.
The walk took ten minutes plus a wait for the kids in their cars to get out of the parking lot. The students all seemed to think they had the right of way, which Axel was fine letting them think so long as he and Demyx didn't get hit.
And as always, the boys were just exiting the school, little backpacks strung over their shoulders, Naminé following behind them. Their teacher fussed over the twins, more than she did any of the others because without even trying, the boys were manipulative, (although she being Uncle Leon's wife helped, too). Then, Axel caught Roxas' eye, and the redhead waved.
Roxas practically screamed, jerking the teacher away from him in surprise. "Axel! Axel!" he wailed loudly. He bounced on his toes, grabbed Sora's hand, and pounced over to his brother with way too much excitement, leaving little Naminé in the dust.
When Sora finally got his bearings, he bounced into Axel's arms alongside Roxas, so the two had to squirm to fit comfortably and not fall. Demyx was laughing at them, until Roxas and Sora shot from Axel's arms into his, barely giving him enough time to drop the tuba and catch them both. Naminé quietly came up to Axel and, without saying a word, put her arms up. Axel obediently picked her up, resting her on his hip.
"You never come no more," Roxas pouted at his brother from Demyx's arms. He whirled around and put his arms out, commanding that Axel take him back again.
"Yeah, your brother has been floored with homework. I don't have the time anymore. But don't worry, I'll start coming more often," Axel said, taking the blond and balancing him on his other hip. Demyx lifted Sora with a little more support and set him on the head of the tuba, picking it up so he could cart him home.
"But homework's dumb," Sora protested lamely. He bounced on the tuba case.
"Careful, kiddo," Demyx crooned softly.
"And required to pass the class, which is required for graduation."
"And still dumb," Roxas said. He let Axel set him on the neck of the cello and hummed happily, leaning forward on it.
"I know." Axel adjusted Naminé a little, setting her on her cousin's shoulders so the girl could cheerfully greet Demyx. "So, ready to go home?"
"Yes!" the kids cheered.
"Say goodbye to Aunt Rinoa," Axel commanded.
Grinning wide, the twins put their hands in air to wave to her, fingers spread wide. "BYE, AUNT RINOA!"
Axel was very relieved when Rinoa laughed, her bright eyes twinkling. She waved to them and called, "see you tomorrow!"
"Alright, let's go."
They chatted aimlessly, the boys chattering between each other and Naminé about some odd thing they saw on TV last night, Axel and Demyx going on about nothing in particular. It took them about twenty minutes to get home, an extra three minutes than usual because Axel just didn't want to be there quite yet. Finally, though, they turned down their street, and Axel winced when he spotted Fenrir, Dad's motorcycle, in the driveway. Cloud was supposed to be at his business across town. There was really only one reason that he would have left it almost two hours early.
Sora and Roxas, recognizing that their dad's bike was there, scrambled down from the instruments (panicking the older boys, who yelled "at least warn us if you're going to do that!") and rushed onto the grass and up the street to their lawn. They bounced excitedly at the front porch and turned to face Axel, since he was the only one with a key. In response, both to the boys' excitement and their dad's presence, Axel slowed to an almost lethargic pace.
"AXEL!" Both of them wailed loudly, drawing more than one neighbor out from their homes.
Before Axel could even reach their driveway, the front door opened. Hearing the noise, the twins turned to the door and threw themselves on their father's legs. "Daddy!" they exclaimed.
At the door, Dad reached down to mess with both of the boys' hair, but his gaze didn't once leave Axel. In the hand that he didn't use to mess with the boys, he was holding tight to a crinkled paper. Well, that couldn't be good.
Dad cleared his throat and said loudly, "Axel, come here."
Axel gulped dramatically, sharing a look with Demyx. He clutched tight to the handle on the cello case and dragged it up the driveway with him, if only so Demyx had to follow and thus Axel wouldn't be left to face Dad's wrath alone.
Dad sighedat the doorway and pushed Sora and Roxas inside. "Boys," he said firmly, leaving no room for question, "Go up to your room. I need to speak with your brother."
From his terse tone, Axel knew that he was in trouble again, though he had no idea what for. Axel couldn't bring himself to meet his father's eyes.
When they reached the front porch, Dad greeted their friends tersely. "Demyx, Naminé, I'm going to have to ask you to go home, I'm afraid. Sorry," he said, not sounding sorry at all.
"Yeah, okay. Come on, Naminé, let's go get ice cream!" Demyx agreed, bouncing his cousin on his shoulders. He looked like he didn't want to get involved in whatever was about to happen. He gave Axel a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, took his cello case, and maneuvered himself back down the front walk and to the driveway.
Dad didn't say anything for a few moments, just barricading the doorway and looking down at his son. Axel still didn't dare look up at him, his hand clutching the strap of his backpack, his head angled down to look at the bed of flowers that Dad insisted on keeping up with because they had been Mom's favorites.
"Inside," Dad finally said, stepping out of the way. "Sit on the couch."
Axel stepped in, dropping his bag at his feet and wiggling out of his shoes. He forced himself to drop onto the couch and watched as Dad approached.
Dad seemed oddly furious. Well, maybe not furious, like he had been when Axel had kind of been practically unconscious and he'd stepped in front of him to protect him from the people he used to call Mom and Dad. He looked more like he was royally pissed off, like the kind that made Axel want to run to his room and hide beneath his covers, no matter how old he was.
"Is… erm, something wrong…?" Axel finally asked, threading his fingers together and daring himself to look up at Dad's face.
"'Is something wrong?'" Dad quoted in reply. He tossed the paper he'd been holding onto the table in front of the couch. Axel reached out so he could turn it and read it. He winced.
"Mr. Strife," it read, "I am the science teacher here at Radiant Garden high school, and this semester I'm teaching earth science to your son, Axel…" Axel didn't want to read on; whatever it was, it wasn't good.
"...Yeah? So?"
"So?" Dad asked loudly. He leaned down and tapped a different section, one that looked an awful lot like a list. "Ten. Missed. Assignments. Ten of them, Axel! From one class!"
"Missed assignments?" Axel asked. He got a good look at the sheet of paper, reading down the list. He had turned in all of these assignments! The only assignment that he hadn't turned in was the one that was due today. "I don't have any assignments out!"
"Well then what do you call these?" Dad snatched the sheet up and read off of the list, "Gem formation worksheet one, gem formation worksheet two, cartography worksheet…" Dad continued reading down the list, each one making Axel just that little bit angrier… until he got to the last one.
"Hey! I turned that one in this week!" Late, but whatever. It wasn't missing.
"Then why is it on this list, Axel?"
"I don't know! Maybe because my teacher is an idiot that hates me!"
"That's enough!" Dad snapped, his face melting into anger. "You've been lying to me this whole time, haven't you, Axel? You keep complaining that this class is so difficult; well, maybe it wouldn't be so difficult if you would just do your homework!"
"I DO my homework! I know I turned in all of these assignments! It's not my fault my teacher is a fucking idiot!" Well, he was in trouble now.
"Don't you dare curse around me!" Dad snarled. "What would your mother think?"
"Which one? The one that's dead, or the one that swore at me all the time anyway? Somehow, I don't think either of them will care." Axel rose to face his father man to man, the top of Dad's head coming up to his chin.
"Aerith would care," Dad replied darkly, "and I don't appreciate that."
"Whatever, who cares? It's done now!"
Dad's face screwed up with anger. "I really don't appreciate your attitude. I know I taught you to respect your elders."
"No, you taught me to respect the ones who deserve to be respected. And I'm not going to respect that stupid teacher who can't teach a class to save his life, or the man who won't shut up and listen to me for once!"
"Oh, am I the one who needs to shut up? No, Axel, you shut up, sit down and listen to me!" Dad approached his son ominously and, despite being of a much shorter stature, made himself a visible force to be reckoned with. For just a moment, Axel backed off, but he forced himself to stop and stand his ground. "I have had it up to here with your attitude recently!" Dad continued. "Lying and talking back so much... I know I raised a better son than this. Sora and Roxas don't act like this at all!"
"Oh, not them again! 'Sora and Roxas, Sora and Roxas'. That's all you ever talk about! Can't you find anything else to talk about?"
"They're my sons, of course I'm going to talk about them!"
"Ever since Mom died, that's all you ever talk about! Well, here's a newsflash for you: NO ONE CARES. You might think that they're the best kids born on the goddamn earth, but let me tell you; THEY'RE NOT THAT GREAT!"
"Watch your tongue!"
At the top of the stairs, the twins appeared, looking down at the fighting father and son. They shared a look, concern splitting their faces.
"NO! You need to hear this! Ever since Mom died, they're all you paid any attention to! JUST THEM. Well, this might surprise you, you've got three kids! And maybe, if you paid a little mind, I'd actually be passing this fucking class!"
"You're going to turn the fact that you're too lazy to do your homework on me?!"
"I DID MY HOMEWORK!"
Sora and Roxas quickly darted down the stairs, planting themselves between the eldest two Strifes when it looked like they'd actually go after each other. Axel's hands were balled into fists and he looked like he wanted to lunge for Cloud's throat. "Stop fighting!" Roxas exclaimed, leaning on Axel's legs to keep him back. Sora pushed on Cloud's legs firmly, little eyes squeezed shut. "Stop it!"'
"I DID IT ALREADY, IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT TEACHER HATES ME!"
"Well, whose fault do you think it is?!"
"Yours! Maybe it's all your fault!"
"MY FAULT?!" Whatever calm façade Cloud had up, keeping his face fairly neutral, completely melted. Suddenly, both parties looked prepared to do harm to the other.
"No!" Sora and Roxas both wailed, digging their heels in.
"Yeah! Maybe if you gave me a little help around here this wouldn't be so fucking impossible!"
"Axel!" Roxas scolded.
"Help? How much more help could I give you? I adopted you, didn't I?"
"No, Mom adopted me; you just went along with it because you're too pathetic to say no to her! You know if you'd been left with the choice you would have dropped me off at the nearest orphanage! And who even said I wanted to be adopted? Maybe I liked it there; maybe I was happy there and you just took me away to bring me to this hellhole! I never exactly had the choice! I just woke up in the hospital with new parents and a new last name!"
Cloud's face twisted in rage. Sora and Roxas both lunged at him, tears wetting their bright blue eyes, trying to keep him at bay. "I could have just left you there to die you know! I could have! But hey, if you wanna go back there, be my guest! You wanna be a Flynn again? Be my guest! But when they're trying to kill you again, don't come crying to me! I won't be coming for you!"
For a moment, Axel's face changed from fury to horror, and then it was pure rage. "FINE! Fine, I'm done being a Strife! I'm done, I'm done with it and I'll be glad to get out of this house!" He spun on his heel and marched to the front door, tearing it open so quickly it almost fell right off its hinges.
"Good riddance!"
Axel shoved outside and slammed the front door, ignoring the noise of something breaking inside. He heard the boys wail, "NO! Axel!" Cloud held them back, and the house quieted.
His chest heaving, Axel clenched and unclenched his fists out there on the front porch. 'If you wanna go back there, be my guest,' Cloud had said. Did he want to go back there? Did he want to search out his mother and father, ask them to take him back again after twelve years, even though they'd hated the idea of his very existence?
...No. Of course not. No matter what Dad may think, he wasn't stupid. Going back there was like asking to die.
But it wasn't like he could go back inside. Maybe he could call Demyx. Or Saïx. Maybe they'd let him stay the night.
But really, was Axel up to seeing anyone? Not after a fight like that. That fight hurt. Ever since he was little, ever since that one time in the second grade, with the bullies, Dad had always promised to protect him. Now... 'I won't be coming for you!'
Had he lost his dad, just now? Over, what, ten missing assignments, that Axel knew he'd done? Maybe this was just Kingdom Hearts' way of saying that he wasn't supposed to have a family. That he should give up now.
Axel leaned against the wall beside the front door, sliding down it, and buried his face into his arms. He'd messed up, big time. He shouldn't have been yelling, especially since the boys were in the house. He should have confronted Dad about it in private. He should have kept his cool.
Ha, yeah right. Not from a pyro like him. Keeping his cool was Demyx's thing.
And besides, Dad should have kept his cool, too. It was hardly fair of him to get so angry at Axel and then not believe him when he tried to explain. But then he'd gone on a tangent, and then they both had, and here Axel sat.
Axel felt his eyes slide shut, the darkness created by the loft and his own head lulling him to rest, reminding him of how little sleep he'd actually gotten the night before. That fight had drained him, more than the rest of the day had. Maybe Axel would feel better after a little nap… clear his head, give Dad the time to cool down, and then he'd go back in and beg to be allowed to stay. But for now…
It took two minutes for, with the help of the coolness of the gentle breeze and his exhaustion, Axel to slip into unconsciousness.
Note: I like portraying Kingdom Hearts as some kind of deity. Thus, Axel's "was this Kingdom Hearts' way of...". It's like their god. Don't question me. :)
So, that's that! Chapter 3 should be up within the next few weeks. It's completed, but I want to get somewhere on chapter 4 before I post chapter 3.
Also, if anyone's curious about what Axel meant by "ever since that one time in the second grade, with the bullies", just ask. I actually have a number of background stories partway written that I wouldn't be against sharing.
Anyway, please review! As per the norm, all reviews will be answered via PM.
Until next time,
~YAJJ