His deepest shame

Castiel was always a quiet and reserved boy, he felt comfortable either lost on his inner world or sharing his time with the slaves at the manor. It was a trait he had shared with his late mother, they spent many afternoons painting in silence, just enjoying their mutual company, and when she died he tried to get closer to his siblings but he never got it right, he wasn't loud enough or old enough or just… enough. Castiel tried to be more like them, to fit, but as they had such different concepts of what was considered 'fun' it was very hard for him to follow up.

His uncle was the one that seemed to understand him the better, perhaps it was because he had the experience from when he had to deal with his mother while growing up, or perhaps it was because he just accepted him for who he was and wasn't constantly trying to change him. And it was a relief for him to have such an ally by his side, he knew he was a defective child, his father made sure he would always be well aware of that fact.

Anyway, over the years Cas kept trying to fit, tried to tame his feelings and get in line with his family.

His father made a big deal of his coming of age at the first adult party he was allowed to attend, and even though he hated to be the center of attention he still enjoyed the way he was praised by his family while drinking champagne and parading on the dance floor.

Castiel was so proud of himself, it looked like he had finally found the common ground, and after that first time it wasn't rare to find him partying with his uncle whenever he was in town. They had a huge age difference of course, but Gabriel was young at heart and was more than happy to help his favorite nephew on his firsts adventures, and Castiel took those outings as 'practice' for his interactions with his siblings.

Cas met new people and made a few friends, he got drunk once or twice and had his first kiss with a boy he met at a pub, and that opened a whole new world for him to peek into, kissing was good!

Boys and girls were more prone to hang with him now that he had this new 'persona' going on for him, even his father welcomed him on more and more of the parties he hosted for his business. He even lost his virginity on one of those parties, a girl named April was the one who took it, and he couldn't hide his smile after she told him his performance was very much correct. She was a friend of his sister so she knew all about it soon after, but she just raised her glass and subtly drank for him in, a silent complicity.

He felt he was 'getting it', he was confident he was fitting into his family, deepening the bond with his father and siblings. It was his last summer before college so his time was running out before he had to go, and he was a bit terrified to be forgotten once it happened.

Zach was getting ready for a night in town with his friends, and Castiel, after dwelling on it for a while, asked if he could join them. His brother was surprised but accepted anyway, 'the more the merrier' he said, and off they went.

He was having fun just chatting and dancing but after a few drinks at a pub he was dragged to a brothel by the group. Cas wasn't a virgin anymore but he felt very nervous, it was the first time he went to a place like that. They entered as a loud troupe and were promptly welcomed by a large woman wearing a deep neckline and too much perfume. Drinks started to flow freely once she made a motion with her hand, it was obvious the group wasn't neither new nor unexpected at that place. The madam called for a selection of her staff to line up for them and soon the guys were choosing their companions for the night, all but Castiel. The young angel was a bit overwhelmed at the sight, half naked slaves, boys and girls, men and women were standing there in front of them, sensually displaying their bodies. A girl with light brown hair and grey eyes was leaning against her male version, it was a bit entrancing to see such a fine-looking pair and Cas couldn't take his eyes from them, but still wasn't making a move.

The group leaded by his brother who, at the time had a girl with long red hair sitting on his lap, laughed at him, called him names and questioned his sexual prowess, and Cas was young and stupid, and felt the pressure to prove them how good he was, how deserving of their praising so, out of a whim, he selected the couple of twins to take both at the same time.

Brother and sister didn't bat an eyelash and instantly surrounded him, driving the angel towards a hallway lined with doors and entered on the third one on the left. Castiel was really nervous when they finally got to the room, he had been before with both boys and girls but never at the same time, and they had never been strangers to him, so his bravado was slowly drifting into a mild panic. Luckily that didn't develop further, the pair was well experienced and relaxed him with kisses and caresses, and just after a few moments of awkward stillness his body began to respond.

The girl sat on his legs facing him and the guy placed himself behind him, and they got him incredibly hard with all the grinding, kissing and biting they subjected him to. Cas did his best and the threesome went awesome, it was the best sexual experience he had had so far, the young angel was on cloud nine when he reached his orgasm but the feeling didn't last long though.

After he regained some of his wits he realized his partners were just lying down by his side on the bed, at the same spot he last saw them, and when he brought out that neither one of them had come the guy politely asked him if he wanted them to. Cas was a bit confused at the question, wasn't the point of sex to enjoy themselves and come? The guy still was waiting for his answer though so he told them to please do so, if they wanted to.

The couple then sat right in front of him at the center of the bed and began to touch each other. They were beautiful, undulating their bodies and moaning loudly with pleasure, and in no time they came in a showy, flashy way. Castiel's dick twitched in interest but he was too stunned to act on it, so a few minutes after they were done and he wasn't moving, the girl asked if they could be dismissed. The angel nodded and the pair bowed their heads at him and left the room so he could get ready to leave.

Alone at last he washed his face and dreamily relived the last two hours of his life. The act itself gave him really hot images that would surely stay with him forever, but while redressing Cas thought about what had actually happened on that bed.

He had fucked a brother and a sister, and not just that, they finished each other afterwards.

The image of his own siblings crossed his mind fast as a lightening but it still managed to make a deep impression on him, Castiel had completely sobered up and realized it was all empty and fake, he saw it for what it really was.

His partners were slaves so they surely were unwilling to all of it since the very start, the only reason they could had done it had to be just because he paid for it to their mistress and therefore they had to. Soon the whole experience made him sick, he had forced them to be with him, he had imposed himself on them and not happy with that he made them get on each other.

His face wouldn't agree on what to show, he was at the same time livid with regret and red in shame, and it got worse as once he was out of the room he was cheered by his brother and friends, regarded as one of their own. He smiled shyly at them, trying not to puke, and said nothing all the way back home, where he couldn't look into the eyes of the slave girl who opened the front door for them.

The next day at breakfast Zach seemed genuinely happy to retell their night out to his father and sister. Castiel was shrinking on his seat, he was still ashamed of all of it but when his father knew about his behavior he nodded, like if he was pleased with him, and when he got up to leave the table he passed by his side and gave him a proud pat in the shoulder. Cas' eyes went wide at that, he couldn't remember the last time his father was that openly affectionate with him, and that too made a huge impression on him.

Castiel took a walk on the gardens that afternoon, he needed to clear his head. He had done something awful but at the same time totally proper and even expected, brothels existed for a reason, apparently. It became clear for him that was something he should get used to if he wanted to be what his father expected him to be, that pat on his shoulder was more than he ever had in his life, but at the same time there was no way he was doing something like that again. Yes, the sex part was amazing and he wanted to share his newly acquired knowledge with his next partner whomever that might be, but it had to be under different circumstances, he wasn't taking someone who couldn't refuse him ever again.

Castiel was invited to a night out with his brother and friends but somehow when he stated he was never again paying for sex they all mistook it for bragging and was left to fend for himself on that area, never again coaxed into a brothel. He was secretly grateful for that.

Cas left for college just a few weeks later.