Trust No One

Dana Scully was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, wondering where the noise has gone. That comforting noise she had grown so accustomed to. But she knew, yes, she knew where the noise had gone. And now there was nothing. Nothing at all.

She had once had the luxury of listening to Mulder's soft breathing as he slept next to her. When he left, she had gotten over it by listening to William. Now he was gone, and, like before, she was all alone. Tears came to her eyes, and she rolled over onto her stomach and buried her head into her pillow. She shook as she cried into it, ready to scream; anything to make the pain go away. Why? Why did it have to be that way? She screamed in her mind. Why did they both have to go?

And William- he would never even remember her. That made her even sadder and the pain more excruciating. Her baby would never even remember her. He would think she didn't want him, that she didn't love him, and she would never see him, because he would never know the truth. She didn't even know where he was.

She squeezed her eyes shut and prayed into her pillow. Please God. Please bring Mulder back to me. I'll go into medicine; I'll save people, like you wanted in the first place. Please don't leave me all alone.

She was just about to pray for William's protection when a thought occurred to her; what if she had made the wrong choice? What if whoever now had her son couldn't protect him? More tears came to her eyes. God, please protect my son, please let him know that I love him, and that his father loves him. But most of all please protect him. But her mind didn't believe that even God could answer that prayer.

She's entrusted her son to people she didn't know, people she had never even met once, because she'd thought that they could protect him better than she. She had thought that she could send him somewhere where they couldn't find him. People she had never met now had what she loved most, and they had her full trust.

But she knew, as she thought of it; if there really were people who wanted to kill William, they could find him, no matter where he was sent. And who was to know who these people were? Dana Scully sat up and began beating her pillow. She could hardly see it through her tears. When she stopped, a sudden stop, she collapsed on her bed, once again staring at the roof, her face wet with tears.

Always, her past was right there, and she could look at all her mistakes, knowing which ones were the worst. This one was the worst. Dana Scully slowly and gingerly got out of her bed, and knelt on the floor beside it. She clasped her hands together in prayer, and rested them on the bed, like she had when she was a child.

Oh God, please protect William. Please make sure he is with good, no, great people, who will love him as a son. Please be sure I made the right choice. Let him know, somehow, that we love him. Let him know the good things in the world. Please protect him... please...

But words, as always, resonated in her mind, even as she prayed to God for her son. Always, there were words. Just words, but the words were so strong that she could not suppress them.

Trust no one.