Lina Inverse 3

The Lina Inverse Show


Lina: Just like I have the number one talk show, my guests feel that they are the number one in what they do. But is it really true? I think we can prove otherwise. and put an end to their egoistical minds. Todays theme is, I'm the best at what I do. Lina do you really think you can prove otherwise? My first guest is an acquatance of mine who is widely known for her justical thinking. She thinks she is so good, she could even teach the lowest scum of the earth to think justically. So let's welcome her out! Amelia!

Amelia walks out

Amelia: Hi Lina!

Lina: Hi! Are you as justice freaky as ever?

Amelia: What is the world without justice? Why should the world suffer under the evil, which it is suffering now? We humans deserve justice as...

Lina: Well I'd save your little speech for our little game!

Amelia: Hey! When I preach justice every one should listen to what I say! That's the first step towards...

Lina: You talk all the time about justice. Well as the theme says Lina could prove you wrong, I think we can. Not that I personally want to prove you wrong, it's just well, some of your companions are annoyed with you. They want you to stop preaching...

Amelia: How can you sya that? How can you think that I'd ever stop preaching the word of justice?

Lina: Cuz you're losing friends.

Amelia: Really?

Lina: Yeah. Anyways back to the theme. We found someone who is just the opposite of you and really wnats to prove you wrong that you're not the best at what you do. His motto is "Justice Triumpfs!". Well let'sd welcome Sanosuke!

Sanosuke enters

Sanu: Hi Lina!

Lina: Hi! Well, let's get to the rules of the little game.

Sanu: Justice triumpfs!

Amelia: Without justice...

Lina: HOLD on! Without hearing the rules, you guys can't start debatting! I'm gonna give you both five minutes to debate with each other, from which the audience will determine which one of you is better at spreading the word. Oh! I forgot to mention only one statement from each side at a time, so our listeners can follow, unless it's obviously the smae point, just you're trying to explain it better. And Amelia, if you lose, will you tone it down by 75%?

Amelia: Like justice could ever lose! You're on!

Lina: Well, as it is lady's first I guess you can start.

Amelia: What is a world without justice?

Sanu: What positive points does it have?

Amelia: Well, for starters kings like my dad help everyone to live a better life in a place where evil does not exist because evil got it's justice!

Sanu: Look at me! Justice has never helped me out! I live and can't afford to eat! I live in a run down small box and can't even afford water. Where has justice helped me out?

Amelia: Justice is there for everyone! It punishes all that are bad!

Sanu: see? You can't even answer a simple question! And who put me in a bad position? The gouvernment!

Amelia: Why the government is trying it's hardest to make the place a better place to live! All they need is time, justice and nothing will go wrong! Justice will help the world get what it deserves!

Sanu: The government is the biggest crocks out there! What ever gives you the impression that they're there to help us get a better life? With the money they could be using to help us out, instead they buy military weapons to conquer more space for more power!

Amelia: How dare you say that! Why justcie would never do something like that! It's there to help, not to turn good into evil!

Lina: Well, that wrapes it up! After the commercial we'll find out, if Ameilia is really the best!

commercials

Lina: Well, welcome back! Our results show that... hum how shall I put this? Amelia, sorry to say, Justice triumpfs! Our audience was not to impressed with your justice and quite frankly only 2% agree with your no real arguements against Sanu! Well, then thuis proves it!

Almost in tearsAmelia: At least I don't stink!

Sanu: As I said. It's because of you egoistical justice happy dwarves that I can't afford water!

Amelia can't hold in the tears, she runs off the stage crying.

Lina: Well, I guess she couldn't take it very well that she isn't the best! Our next ego thinker is Allen who thinks he's the best at styling hair! Welcome Allen!

Allen enters

Allen: I don't think you should insulte your guests! Especially that poor woman. I wish I had seen where she ran off to so I could comfort her!

Lina: Allen protector of all woman! Well, then let's see. You say that you're the best at styling your hair and also that you have the nicest hair?

Allen: For a man. I have never seen how any man with as nice hair as I have. If there is one, he doesn't exist.

Lina: How long does it take to get that perfect 'm' hold you have there?

Allen: Well, on a good day up to two hours. I want to look my best once all those women are looking at me.

Lina: Oh.

Sanu: How many bottles of gel do you use per day?

Allen: Almost one...

A person in the audience has a question.

Sana: Isn't that bad for the enviroment?

Lina: She has a point.

Allen: It's not. That's hairspray you're thinking about, because it's in a spray bottle. It's bad for the ozone layer.

Lina: Wow! I learn something new every day! Well then back to our theme. We have some one who also thinks he has the world's nicest hair. His name is Touga! Let's welcome him out!

Touga appears (he's the red head student body president in Utena)

Touga: Oh my god! I just love your hair! What shampoo do you use?

Allen: My! Your hair! It looks like silk! I just love it! I use Herbal Essences!

Lina: That's the one, which brings out organism...

Allen: Huh?

Lina: Haven't you ever watch my show before?! There's always that commercial!

Touga: Well, she is right! That shampoo is really good for the hair. I use it too.

Allen touches Touga's hair

Allen: Just like I thought. It is silk.

Touga touches Allen's hair

Touga: Your's is just as silky.

Lina: You too are supposed to be fighting for the nicest hair and giving each other complements!

A person in the audience stands up.

mysterious person: I think I have nicest hair than you both! I am the emperor of China.

Touga: But you are not a man.

Mysterious man: But I am.

Allen: But you're way to perfect to be a man.

mysterious man: But that I am.

Lina: What's your name?

Mysterious man: Hotohori.

Lina: So, just by looking at you, as you are way more attractive than those two clowns on stage, I think you win!

Allen: I'm not a clown!

Lina: Just look at your hair. This young man Hotohori and my Xellos have soo much nicer hair!

Touga: Think as you wish.

Lina: My next guests are coming out together. They're two females whom think that their bodies are the nicest in the world! Let's welcome Naga and Ranma.

Naga and Ranma walk out onto stage.

Naga: Hi oh mighty flat chested one!

Ranma: My! She's even smaller than I expected her to be!

Lina's face turns redder with anger by the second.

Naga: I couldn't imagine being as flat as her... That would be hell.

At this point Lina is deep in thought.

Ranma: And I'm a guy and am bigger than her...

Lina: DRAGON SLAVE!

Lina blows up her two guests and her set at the same time.
Lina: Well, I guess my show is over for today, but nextshow's theme is it's a secret!

Screen goes blank.


Owari