A/N: Some Amazing Deleted scenes from this story. And/or I was amused.

The first

Sasuke approached Naruto, hands behind his back. "What are you holding?" Naruto asked, trying to peer around him.

"Nothing," Sasuke said, shifting whatever he had into one hand, the other pressed against Naruto's chest. "Stay," He commanded, holding Naruto in place.

Forming a pout, Naruto kept trying to crane his neck and see what it is that Sasuke was hiding. Trying a different tactic, Naruto stepped away from Sasuke and put a hand to his hip. "Fine, I'm leaving," Naruto said petulantly.

"Don't," Sasuke's voice froze Naruto midstep.

Twisting around, Naruto looked back up at Sasuke. "Why not?"

Pulling his hand out from behind his back, Sasuke held up one half of a leaf. The other hand appeared to, grasping the other half. "Do you remember these?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes," Naruto said, lifting his chin up, a skeptical look on his face.

"What I meant to say then, was that it means love, Naruto," Sasuke said gently, putting the two halves together. Had someone edited this leaf? Because it looked oddly like the shape of a heart.

"What?" Naruto said in a strangled voice.

"Love," Sasuke repeated, dropping the leaves and advancing on Naruto, grasping him around the waist. "I love you, Naruto," Sasuke murmured lowly before kissing him.

The Second

It had taken three whole days to get there. But Naruto and Sakura had made it in record time. Mostly because Naruto was anxious to get there. He wanted to know what was in the letter they were delivering. It must be important if Granny Tsunade wanted him to deliver it, personally. She would have sent a Genin or a Chuunin if it was really just a message. It must have been something significant and probably dangerous. Naruto couldn't wait!

After reaching the Sand village, Naruto and Sakura were led to Gaara in his office. The other man looked tired. He usually did. Still. Naruto gave him an encouraging smile. Gaara never smiled, but still. It was important to keep up appearances. "Say, Gaara," Naruto started.

But Sakura shot him a glare and elbowed his side. "Kazekage-sama, Tsunade-sama has sent us with this message for your eyes only," Sakura nudged Naruto again to step forward and present the scroll.

Gaara, who hadn't said anything yet, accepted it and began unrolling it. When he did, confetti and streamers popped out. In large written letters were the words: COME TO NARUTO'S HOKAGE INSTANTIATION PARTY!!!! It was definitely Tsunade's work.

Blinking, Gaara set the scroll down. Naruto was stepping on his tip-toes antsily trying to get a glimpse at what was written there. "Well?" Naruto asked.

At the sound of Naruto's voice, Gaara looked up at the man, considering him. "Naruto," He said in that deep and commanding voice of his. "I'd like for you to be my lover," Gaara propositioned.

Sakura spluttered and Naruto turned a deep shade of red. "Ah, Gaara..." Naruto trailed off, not sure how to respond to this.

Which was alright, because he didn't have to. Since at that moment Sasuke appeared out of nowhere, his sword at the Kazekage's throat. "Say it again," Sasuke said in that calm and deadly voice of his.

"You're going to be Hokage," Gaara said, spinning around in his spinny chair, which knocked Sasuke's sword out of harm's way.

Naruto fainted into Sasuke's waiting arms.

The Third

Naruto and Gaara peered at Naruto's newest chapter of Make Out Breakout: A Prison Love Story. Naruto read it aloud to Gaara. It went a little something like this:

One day Araag and Oturan were sitting in their cell together. Times had been pretty boring of late. Not much happened. They spent the day staring at the walls, sometimes having conversations. Occasionally Ekusas appeared and gave them food as he usually did. Suffice to say, being a prisoner was not all that entertaining.

Oturan sighed and stood up, walking in a circle. "Stop that," Araag said, holding his head. "You're making me dizzy."

Oturan frowned, but stood still. Looking around blandly he sighed again. "I'm bored."

"We could make out," Araag offered.

Looking around again, Oturan shrugged. "Okay."

The two cellmates spent the afternoon making out. After they had had enough of that, they laid on top of each other and made plans to break out of their prison cell. When that got boring they started making out again.

It was around this time that Ekusas appeared. "Hey!" He yelled, slamming a stick against the bars. "None of that, you queens," Ekusas said vehemently, unlocking the door and running in. He pulled Oturan away from Araag and threw sand in Araag's face.

After Naruto finished reading, Gaara looked contemplative for a moment. And then he crawled into Naruto's lap and said, "I'm turned on."

Naruto stared blankly at Gaara. "Are you really? That's amazing! I never knew that could happen to you, Gaara. My writing is fantastic!" Naruto said, not paying attention to the fact that their faces were very, very close.

It was about this time that Sasuke came hurtling in through the window after a loud crash.

"Oh my god, Sasuke, did you swing in on a rope!?" Naruto asked, exclaiming loudly.

Gaara took this moment of confusion to totally kiss Naruto.

After Sasuke had killed Gaara, he took Naruto into his arms and cuddled him close. "Come, we must leave before they execute us for killing the Kazekage."

"You killed my friend, bastard!" Naruto said. "He really liked my writing."

"It is very good writing," Sasuke said, completely disiniterested as he swung back out of the room on his trusty Uchiha Rope ™. They were fugitives from the law now! They would live together in caves and have so much sex. The end.