Title: Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 2/17
Author: EdieZee
Rating: PG-13, possibly R later
Based on: TV series
Relationships: Damon/Elena
Disclaimers: I do not own anything. If I did, she would have chosen Damon.
Summary: As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.
Chapter 2
Note: Just to give fair warning, you will have to wait several chapters to find out what Damon's up to. Because I'm mean like that.
"I can't bear the thought of losing one of you." – Elena, "Before Sunset" (3x21)
"Love brought us together; bad timing tore us apart." – Unknown
Elena stared out the car window, not really seeing the familiar houses of her neighborhood as Stefan drove past them. They rode in silence, as she was still in a daze. After their initial embrace in the morgue, Stefan had softly, slowly explained to her why she was alive – for now, at least. He recognized her need to come to terms with it on her own first, as well as her need to be with Jeremy.
Stefan pulled into the driveway and killed the engine, turning to watch her intently as she shook herself out of her reverie, unbuckled the seatbelt and got out of the car. She moved slowly, stiffly. Stefan propped his elbow against the window, covering his mouth with his hand, and stayed in the car to give her a few minutes alone with her brother.
Jeremy was on the couch when she walked in, but he stood quickly to walk over and pull her into his arms. The dreamlike state she had been in dissipated quickly; she squeezed her eyes shut to fight back tears as she thought of all the people he had lost. And now this…
Leading her back toward the couch, Jeremy sat first and she curled up against him, smiling sadly at the thought that her little brother was stronger and taller than she. "So how are you feeling?" he asked softly.
Elena shook her head, unsure of how to answer the question. "I…I don't know. Physically, I don't really feel anything yet. I mean, how long is it supposed to take, do you think? Caroline, Jenna…they seemed to feel the hunger almost right away. I…I just feel the same.
Jeremy made a face. "Are you," he cleared his throat and continued, "going to complete the transition?"
Elena pulled herself away from Jeremy to look him in the eyes. "I wanted to talk to you first. What do you think? I mean…," She hesitated, running a hand through her hair and sighing. "I never wanted this. But I can't bear the thought of you being all alone!"
Jeremy leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. He rubbed at his eyes. He chuckled wryly without looking at her. "This needs to be your decision, Elena. I can't be responsible for it."
"Please, Jeremy," Elena's face crumpled and the tears she had been fighting started flowing freely down her cheeks. "Tell me what to do. I don't know what to do."
Jeremy sighed and turned to look at her. Leaning back again, he rested his head on the back of the couch and stared up at the ceiling. "You know how I feel about vampires, Elena. I wouldn't wish that on anyone."
Elena nodded, looking down at her hands.
"But…then I think about what life would be like without Caroline, or Tyler, or Stefan, or hell, even Damon." Elena let out a little laugh, and Jeremy smiled in response. "Frankly, Elena, ever since I learned about vampires, I figured it was only a matter of time before you became one, either accidentally or on purpose. I used to hate that idea, but I've grown to accept it over time."
Jeremy hesitated, realizing that the words that were about to come out of his mouth couldn't be taken back, that they would irreparably change the rest of his life and the rest of Elena's too. Sitting up straight, he looked into her tear-filled eyes and grabbed her hands to hold in his own. "Elena, it's still your decision. But…whatever you decide, I will never stop loving you."
Elena smiled, then leaned forward to hug him again. Resting her chin on his shoulder, she blinked a couple of times and let out a sigh. "Then…I think I will. I'm…I'm just not ready to die, Jeremy."
Jeremy nodded, squeezing her tighter and closing his eyes.
Caroline, Matt and Bonnie walked up to the SUV, where Stefan was still sitting in the driver's seat. Caroline knocked on the window and he got out to join them.
"We wanted to be here for her," Caroline said. Stefan glanced at the door, then cocked his head toward it, indicating that they should follow him inside. As they walked in, Jeremy and Elena pulled out of their hug and Elena wiped the tears from her eyes. She stood and hugged her friends in turn, before moving to stand by Stefan.
"I'm going to do it," she said firmly, trying to ignore Matt and Bonnie's reactions as she knew both of them still had and probably always would have misgivings about vampires.
Stefan crossed his arms and looked down at hear, exhaling out of his nose and pressing his lips together. "Are you sure?"
Elena nodded. "I'm sure."
"Alright… Now? Or do you want to wait as long as possible?"
Elena glanced around at her friends, not sure how to say, without hurting Stefan, that she… needed Damon there too. "Ummm… maybe we should wait… for… a little while."
They moved into the kitchen, taking seats at the long table. No one was quite sure what to say, and silence filled the room. Finally, Caroline broke the silence in an awkward, too cheerful tone. "So, who are you going to drink from?"
"Me," Jeremy immediately said.
"No," Elena said quickly, shaking her head. "No. I don't want to drink from anyone. Would a blood bag work?" She looked at Stefan for an answer, but he just made a pensive face.
"I don't really know. I've never known anybody to transition without feeding on someone. But I don't see why not. We could try it, at least."
"Do you have any with you?"
Stefan shook his head. "Maybe Damon could bring one with him when he comes."
Jeremy's brows furrowed, but he couldn't quite figure out what was confusing him. "No. Uh, he stopped by earlier. He's taking care of Alaric's body. I don't know if he'll be back…in time."
Elena glanced away, avoiding looking at anyone for the moment. She was relieved that someone told her where he was without her having to ask, but she couldn't help feeling… something… at the thought that he might not be there when she needed him the most.
"Meredith should be done with her shift soon," Bonnie said. "Maybe she could bring one?"
Elena hesitated, not knowing if she really wanted Meredith there. The woman had meant something to Alaric, but she wasn't really one of them. Not to mention, Elena wasn't really sure if she could forgive her yet. On the other hand, she wasn't really sure if she was truly mad at her either. She nodded. "Call her."
An hour later, Elena was still not sure what she was supposed to be feeling, but she was pretty sure transitioning wasn't supposed to feel like this. She didn't feel any pain or hunger. She felt like herself. Part of her wanted to ask Stefan and Caroline, but everyone was currently joking around, making a late dinner after realizing that no one had eaten anything in a while. It was a brief reprieve, and she didn't want to remind anyone of why they were really there.
The doorbell rang, and the light-heartedness evaporated from the room. For Elena, though, the chime of the doorbell sparked hope. Maybe it was…No. He wouldn't ring the doorbell. He would just walk in and fire off a snarky comment designed to get her mind off what was happening.
Matt opened the door for Meredith, and Elena's eyes immediately caught sight of the blood bag in her hands. She swallowed heavily, knowing there was no turning back now. She stood, smoothing her hands down her pant legs. "Let's get this over with."
Everyone froze. Then, as one, they all moved to sit down at the kitchen table, leaving the half-prepared dinner behind. Meredith walked to the table and poured the blood from the bag into the mug that Stefan handed her. Elena took it with both hands, staring down at the thick red liquid. This obviously would not be the first time she had drunk blood, but there was no denying that this time was different. Taking a deep breath, she looked up and made eye contact with each of her friends, settling last on Jeremy. She smiled at him, and he smiled back. Keeping her eyes on him, she lifted the cup and took her first drink.
The metallic, disgusting taste was the same as it had always been. Elena swallowed heavily, then paused, waiting for something to happen. Nothing.
She took another drink.
Still nothing.
She turned to look at Stefan, who had a confused expression on his face. "Shouldn't…?"
"Yeah." Stefan rested his elbows on the table and leaned forward. "How does it taste?"
She scoffed. "Like blood."
Stefan smiled tightly. "I mean, do you feel like you can't get enough of it?"
Elena shook her head. "No, I have to force myself to keep drinking."
Stefan leaned back, his brow furrowed and his mouth twisted. He looked over at Caroline, who shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "Maybe it does have to be fresh?"
Meredith bent over and picked up her bag. She pulled out a syringe and held it up. Jeremy started rolling up his sleeve. Meredith swabbed his arm with an alcohol pad and stuck the needle in him. Jeremy winced and tightened his fist, watching the tube fill with his blood. Stefan stood, grabbing the mug from Elena and walking to the sink. He dumped the blood down the drain, rinsed the mug out and wiped it down. Meredith pulled the needle out of Jeremy's arm and held out the tube to Stefan, who pressed the plunger back down to force the contents into the mug, which he handed back to Elena.
She grimaced. Drinking blood was bad enough. The thought of drinking Jeremy's blood was about a thousand times worse. But, she couldn't ask Matt, Bonnie or Meredith for theirs. It had to be Jeremy's. She lifted the mug to her lips.
Still…nothing.
"OK, what is going on?" She practically shouted in exasperation.
They were in the living room now, sprawled out on the couch and chairs. They had been throwing out theories for the last hour – anything from the idea that maybe it was just taking longer than usual to the idea that maybe it was some freaky doppelganger thing. Frankly, Elena was getting a little annoyed. Now that she had made her decision, she wanted it over with. This transition limbo was getting on her nerves.
Meredith, curled up in an armchair, straightened out. She had been quiet for a while, listening to the others speculate. "Maybe…," she said, drawing their attention to her. "Maybe we've just been thinking about this all wrong. Maybe you're not going to transition because…you didn't die?"
They all stared at her in disbelief. "What?" Bonnie asked, speaking for all of them.
She leaned forward in her chair, resting her elbows on her knees and folding her hands together. "You guys know about brain death? How doctors check for brain activity in patients before harvesting their organs?" They all nodded. "Well, no one ever checked your brain activity, Elena. I was the one that declared you dead and had you moved to the morgue, purely based on your lack of heart beat and respiration – and, more importantly, because I knew I had given you Damon's blood earlier in the day and wanted to get you out of the way before you mysteriously woke up. So, maybe… maybe you weren't actually dead. Maybe, instead of turning you, Damon's blood just…healed you?"
Stefan and Elena caught each other's eyes, and Stefan shrugged. "I guess it's possible."
"No," Jeremy interrupted. "It's not. I talked to Ric's ghost. If he was dead, then that means Elena was dead."
Meredith fell back against her chair. "Right." She sighed roughly.
Bonnie stood up from her spot on the couch, starting to pace around the room. She rubbed her forehead for a second, stopped pacing, then turned back toward the rest of them. "Not necessarily." She turned to Meredith. "The idea of brain death…that's relatively new, right?"
Meredith nodded.
Bonnie smiled. "So, Esther was doing magic similar to the Original spell. Sure, it had the new twist of tying Ric's lifespan to Elena's, but it was still based on ancient magic… back when people were dead when they looked dead, not because they were brain dead..."
A grin spread across Stefan's face, before it promptly fell. "But how can we be sure? No one knows the spell, and it's not like Esther left behind a grimoire."
Bonnie shook her head. "I don't know. I don't think we'll ever know, but…does it really matter?"
Jeremy stood. "No. You know what, it doesn't. You know what matters? Elena is not going to turn. That's all that matters. We don't need to know why. Hell, a lot of things have happened in our lives that we can't fully explain, and most of those things have sucked. Rather than focusing on why she's not going to turn, how about we just accept this as the most likely reason and freaking celebrate, already?"
Matt whooped, clapping his hands as if at a sporting event. Caroline shot everyone a radiant smile, and Stefan took a couple quick steps toward Elena and wrapped his arms around her. The only one who didn't really react was Elena. She sat there in a daze; she wasn't quite ready to believe it yet.
But, more than that, she realized that a little part of her was disappointed. Not because she was still alive; no, she was happy about that. She was disappointed by the timing of the realization that she wouldn't turn. It would have been even more of a celebration if…if he were here to celebrate too.
Thank you to all the people who have reviewed, who are following, or who marked it as a favorite! I really appreciate it.