Part Two: Don't Waste A Minute
He turned her in his arms, so he could cradle her against his chest, and Carol's eyes widened at the smile gracing his lips. She hadn't seen him smile like that since the day he'd teased Glenn out of the watchtower. She wiggled her arm loose, her fingertips tracing his lower lip.
"What? Got somethin' on my face?" Daryl asked, nipping at her fingers a bit playfully.
Carol's head tilted to the side as she took him in. "You're so beautiful. It's been a long time since I've seen you so happy."
"Stahp." He ducked his head, a furrow forming between his brows. "Is it wrong … t' be so happy about somethin' when we've lost so much?"
She shook her head. "No," she insisted. "If we can't find some happiness amidst the misery and grief, what do we have to fight for? It's the little moments we live for, Daryl."
Before he could ask her what she'd meant, a knock sounded at the door. His narrow-eyed glare focused on it as Carol eased herself out of his arms. "Better be Negan at th' fuckin' gate," he grumbled, moving towards the window to stare down at the activity below.
Carol hid a smile at his upset and pulled the door open to admit Jerry bearing a tray. "Hey. Thought you guys might be hungry. They just pulled a hog off the smoker."
She felt her stomach rumble as the heady aroma of roasted pork, fresh baked bread and steamed vegetables met her nose. "Thank you, Jerry. That was very thoughtful."
"Maggie came up to check on you," he said, setting the tray down on a small table. "When I told her you were with Daryl, she didn't want to disturb you, but she wanted to let you know the second-floor showers were free." He ducked his head sheepishly. "I … uhm … I left clean clothes for you both down there, towels, soap and … stuff."
"Jerry, you didn't have to do that," she admonished gently. Carol still wasn't used to the big man seeing to her needs in his self-appointed duty as her bodyguard. And unfortunately, she hadn't been able to talk him out of it.
Jerry glanced over at Daryl who hadn't moved from the window before shuffling his feet and grinning like a big kid. "I know, but I wanted to."
Daryl turned back to her after Jerry took his leave, lifting the cover from one of the plates. "Think y' can eat?"
"Maybe a little. I want a shower and then I need to check on Henry before I feel I can retire. A walk around the perimeter wouldn't be amiss either."
He pulled out a chair and urged her into it. "Eat, woman. I'll go shower and get Morgan to check on the boy." That was another one he'd rather keep away from Carol, but seeing as both she and Morgan had been right hand to the king, they'd formed a sort of friendship. He still hadn't gotten over the asshole slamming Carol into a concrete floor, and he was damn lucky Daryl hadn't shot him in the ass.
"But –"
"I'll eat when I get back. Won't be long."
*.*.*
Carol huffed again as she hurried down the hallway from the third-floor landing, looking both ways, but there was no sign of Jerry. Yeah, just wait 'til I get a hold of you, big boy! She sneered down at the thin wispy slip-like night gown he'd left for her downstairs and envisioned stealing the last piece of cobbler from the kitchens. A fitting punishment for such an underhanded trick. She would have left it there in the bathroom, but during the time she'd been in the shower, her dirty clothes had been collected, leaving the gown her only covering … if she didn't want to streak stark naked back to her room.
Thankfully, she had more clothes in her bag, but what would Daryl say when she returned? There was still so much they hadn't discussed, and she didn't think he was ready to get physical with her. She pursed her lips and shook her head. He hadn't even kissed her yet. She came to a screeching halt in the middle of the hallway, her eyes riveted to the door at the end of the corridor. If Jerry had left her with something so immodest … oh, lord! What had he left for Daryl?
Carol ground her teeth together in frustration and squared her shoulders. There was no point standing in the hallway silently driving herself crazy when she could take the final steps to her room and face it head-on. She could handle her irate Dixon … right? Ignoring the little whimper hovering at the back of her throat, she turned the knob and slipped inside.
She breathed a tiny sigh of relief to see him standing at the open window, the cool breeze with the onset of nightfall more than welcome, the glow of the evening fires below aiding the feeble light provided by the lantern on her night table. He didn't turn, but she could see the loosening of muscle along his shoulders when he felt her presence.
"They've lit th' fires … everythin' seems quiet. Saw Rick and 'Chonne take Sasha's old trailer," he murmured, sighing heavily as he felt Carol press against his back, fitting her curves to his harsher lines, her arm wrapping about his waist to splay her fingers over his belly. He lifted her hand and brought it up to rest over his heart, his own covering hers. "Your boy stole my clothes."
Carol hid a smile against the back of his shoulder at his somewhat amused statement. "I noticed," she said, using her free hand to trail over the white tank and gray joggers Jerry had left for him. "I'm sure they'll be returned to you tomorrow. I think he might've been trying his hand at playing matchmaker."
Daryl arched a brow at her over his shoulder and used the hand he held captive to draw her around to face him. His breath hitched as he took in the thin linen shift, the fabric doing little to hide the outline of her body from his heated gaze. Her shoulders were bare but for two thin straps and his eyes followed the line of them to her delicate collarbones and further down to the swell of her breasts. "I see y' didn't escape his thievin' either, huh?" he asked for want of something to say to keep his tongue from sticking to the roof of his mouth. He wanted to touch her so badly, his fingers itched, yet he was afraid to move too fast.
A wry smirk toyed at her lips, but she refused to say something to make the situation any more awkward. "It doesn't matter. If someone wants to offer us a shower and free laundry service, they can have my heartfelt thanks." She tugged on his hand, pulling him towards the bed, her heart beating so loudly she was sure he could hear it. She mentally chastised herself. It wasn't the first time she'd shared a bed with him, and hopefully it wouldn't be the last. There was no need to be nervous. Yet, there was still that niggling voice in the back of her head trying to argue. "Come on to bed. After walking from Alexandria, I don't see how you're even still standing."
He nodded to the settee along the far wall. "Y' sure? I can take th' couch," he offered. "I don't wanna crowd y' if y' ain't ready."
Carol shook off her trepidation and narrowed her eyes. "Move it, Pookie. Don't make me force the issue."
Daryl snorted, folded the blankets down to the foot, and climbed onto the queen-sized bed. "Yes, ma'am." When he settled atop the sheets, he held his arms open to her, inviting her back into his embrace.
And there was no way in hell Carol would ever refuse the comfort of his arms. She hummed softly as she came to rest at his side, tucking her head against his shoulder, her leg thrown over one of his and her arm slung over his waist. She felt as if she'd finally found home. But apparently, it wasn't good enough for him. Daryl moved onto his side, his arms wrapped around her, but now her head lay on his arm, so he could see her in the muted light. Oh, she liked his way much better.
He was quiet for a long moment, and Carol was sure he would drift off when his deep graveled voice broke the silence. "This … this is what I wanted for us when I found you again that day after we escaped Terminus." His rough fingertips caressed the smooth line of her jaw before toying with the curls over her ear, a soft smile turning up the corner of his mouth. "But that night on watch, hell, y' wouldn't even talk t' me … not really. Now I know why, but for a while there, I didn't think y' cared anymore."
Carol shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. "No … not for a second. I've loved you for so long, Daryl. I meant it that day in Atlanta when I said I would try. I was a mess over the girls. I didn't know if I could find my place with the group again, but I was going to try … for you."
Daryl sucked in a deep breath, hearing what she'd left unsaid and feeling the tension roil in his gut. "But?"
She dropped her gaze, her lids closing on the pain she couldn't hide from him. "I watched how you grieved for Beth. You were broken, and I didn't know how to help you. I could see how much you loved her, and I didn't know how to admit to myself I'd … lost you."
Daryl stared at her with a mixture of disgust and horror. "Y' got a head injury I don't know about? What th' fuck're y' talkin' about woman?" he asked, putting a little distance between them until he could figure her out.
Carol pressed her lips into a thin line of disdain. "My head is fine. And don't try to blow it off, Daryl. Everyone could see how hard you took her death, how much you cared for her."
He flopped onto his back and raked a hand through his still damp hair, pulling hard at the roots. This is un – fuckin' – believable! "Gawd, Carol. Beth was a fuckin' kid, an' all I had left after we ran from th' prison. She was all unicorns and glitter, for shit's sake, but I was all she had left too. She was my responsibility." His voice quavered as he swung his gaze to meet hers. "She reminded me of Sophia. She was my second chance to get it right, to do right by her … an' I failed her too. Beth made me think of how it woulda been if your little girl had lived, how I coulda taught her things, how t' hunt, t' track, t' protect herself. Beth was young enough t' be my daughter … there ain't no way I coulda loved her like that." He wondered if he should be offended Carol could have thought such a thing about him, but her head hadn't exactly been in the best place then either.
"I didn't know," Carol whispered brokenly, tears streaming over her ashen cheeks. "I'd never seen you react like that before."
"'Course y' didn't. I couldn't tell y', couldn't stand t' see what it would do t' y'." He cleared the moisture from the corner of his eyes and pulled her closer. "How could y' think I'd want a child when every step I took on that road echoed your name?"
Carol wanted to kick her own ass. "And when we got to Alexandria, I built up my walls and wouldn't let anyone in. I was so determined to play my part, I pushed you away until I didn't think we could even be friends anymore."
Daryl sighed and pressed his brow to hers, needing the connection they'd somehow forgotten, watching it begin to strengthen before his very eyes. "We ain't ever jus' had a minute to stop and mourn our losses or heal before th' next thing came along to bury us."
"There's never any time. And that's not how we survive. We don't mourn, we just push through it."
He forced his body to relax as Carol's index finger traced a raised scar on his chest through the thin fabric of his tank, the memory of how he'd received it skirting along the edges of his consciousness. He was proud of himself for not flinching from her touch. For a while, he'd broken himself from the ingrained reflex to flinch at the slightest contact. Carol was a very tactile woman, showing affection and friendship through touch. He'd begun to make the effort over that first winter together when he'd accidentally knocked her on her ass more than once. He'd felt like such an asshole, but she'd smiled sadly, apologized and went on about her business. She had learned too; just how to approach him with touch. Slowly and cautiously, maintaining eye contact, tentative at first touch then with firmer pressure, a battle with his subconscious to show him she wouldn't hurt him. He cursed his father to hell and back for putting Carol through so much. His time as Negan's prisoner had caused him to regress, but it was easily coming back to him … with her.
Now, Daryl relished the light stroke of her finger over the scar, her touch replacing pain with love. He gave her hip a squeeze before his arms tightened around her and pulled her closer. "Y'know when I was locked in that cell at th' sanctuary, they could take my clothes an' my dignity, but they couldn't take my memories of y' from me."
Carol gasped, outraged. "They took your clothes?!" She could only imagine how much he'd suffered. He was such a modest man, mainly due to his scars. To take his clothes must have nearly driven him mad.
"Shh, woman," he murmured, nuzzling her cheek with his nose. "They did a lotta shit, but like y' said … they didn't break me." He tapped the side of his head. "Had y' here with me. When it got t' be too much, I'd remember th' way y' smile jus' for me, th' sound of your voice, th' way it feels when y' touch me. Kept me sane an' made me hope."
"W-What did you remember?" she whispered, her lip wibbling as her fingers searched out more of him beneath the neckline of his tank.
He fidgeted, tracing the length of her spine from bottom to top before trailing his fingers over the strap at her shoulder, mapping her soft skin along the edge. "I remembered th' first time y' held my bow, teachin' y' how to brace your stance, my arms around y', an' how I wondered if y' could hear how hard my heart was beatin'. Th' first time y' had t' share my bedroll that first winter an' how it felt t' press my face against th' back of your neck. Th' day I found y' in solitary an' how fuckin' relieved I was t' have your warm body in my arms after I'd thought y' died. But my favorite memory was when I saw y' standing in th' woods that day outside Terminus."
Goosebumps erupted along her pale skin as his work-roughened hand traversed her arm from shoulder to wrist. "I was so scared for you that day … when I saw them pull you from the train car. It didn't matter if I was never welcome with the group again, Daryl. All I could think of was saving you."
His lips quirked up into a half-moon grin as his hand moved to cup her chin, his thumb ghosting ever so lightly over her full lower lip. "I wanted t' kiss y' so much … before Rick had t' butt in. Never wanted to punch him in th' throat so bad."
Carol knew he'd said it to bring levity to the moment to hide his confession, but that sweet admission continued to ring in her ears long after he'd fallen silent again. "Daryl …" she moaned, deep and low, the sound vibrating the entire length of her throat, spreading warmth to every essential part of her body. God, how she wanted him.
He couldn't hold back any longer, his gaze focusing on her lips as he screwed up his courage. "Can I … can I kiss y'?"
Carol's breath stuttered painfully in her chest, barely daring to breathe, to move, as that simple statement sent a surge of desire coursing through her. It only increased as his tongue snaked out over his lips to wet them. How long had she yearned to have his sweet mouth pressed to hers? Her hand traced over his collarbone, inching upward until his soft hair tickled her fingers, weaving through the strands as she pulled him closer. She couldn't have spoken had she tried, so overwhelming were her emotions. Instead, she closed the distance, brushing her lips to his.
A tiny whimper escaped his throat as her lips met his, never having felt anything so good, never having wanted something so much in his life. Though he'd scratched an itch with nameless, faceless women in his past – how could he not have under Merle Dixon's influence - he was a virgin when it came to kissing. He'd never had the desire for the intimacy of the act … until Carol. He'd lain awake more nights than he could count fantasizing about kissing her sweet mouth, her long elegant neck, her delicate shoulders … hell, there hadn't been an inch of her body he hadn't dreamed of worshipping with his lips, teeth and tongue. And now that he'd attained one of his heart's desires, he prayed he wouldn't fuck it up.
Daryl began slowly, chastely, pressing softly only to retreat. A quick advance to let her know he wanted more; a nip, pulling her lower lip between his. Gawd, she was heaven, he thought. His arm tightened around her shoulders, and his rough hand gently curled over her hip, drawing her flush against his body.
"More …" she whispered against his lips, her tongue darting out to glide along the seam of his lips.
He opened for her, his tongue shyly seeking hers, a low growl rumbling up from his chest as he tasted her for the first time. The linen of her gown fisted tightly in his hand as he slowly explored her mouth, his head spinning from the pure bliss of her kiss. Only the need for air made him break away.
"No more hidin', Carol," he growled, pressing his brow to hers. "No more time wasted, no more bein' afraid. I love y' so goddamn much. I ain't gonna stop fightin' for y' … ever. However long we have … I'm yours. I wanna stop dreamin' an' wishin' an' wantin'. I want us t' live." He nuzzled her nose gently with his. "Our time is now."
A tear slid from the corner of her eye at his impassioned plea. "Yes," she breathed, her entire soul alight with happiness. She didn't know what tomorrow would bring or whether they'd even make it to nightfall, but for now … now she knew what it felt like to be truly happy and safe in the arms of the man she loved.
Daryl felt the weight of the world ease from his shoulders as his lips trailed a hot path to her ear, his lips nipping lightly at the sensitive lobe, relishing her shiver. "D'you want me, sweetheart? D'you want me t' touch y'?"
Carol pressed her hips closer to his as his hot mouth sucked softly at her neck, his tongue darting out to soothe the sting. She could feel his erection hard and heavy against her thigh, and she cursed the gown she wore for constricting her movements. "God, yes!"
A/n: Thank you all who reviewed! You don't know what your kind words do to me. I want to hug everybody! I hope you all enjoyed this part. The last part will be posted tomorrow on Trivia day! Everybody needs to come to our trivia event on Nine Lives. It's going to be great! There is more information on the Nine Lives homepage and my tumblr blog: charlotteashmore13. Great buckets of love for my beta team BettyBubble and Geektaire. Y'all rock!