Chapter Ten. "Red sun rising, drown without inhaling. Within, the dark holds hard. Red sun rising, curtain falling. Higher than hope my cure lies." - 'Higher Than Hope' by Nightwish.
A few weeks later Harry accepted the Defense Against Dark Arts position from McGonagall. The school year began smoothly, the sorting ceremony entertaining as ever. The batch of first years were more eager than Harry remembered being. He smiled at the thought and slipped his hand into Snape's under the table.
After the dinner, Harry and Severus walked through the crowd hand in hand back to their chambers. The students stared, but did not attempt anything untoward. Harry supposed it was soft smile his lover was wearing that attracted their stares more than the fact they were holding hands. He said so and the potions master laughed, frightening the children all the more.
"Harry?" Snape said, just as they came to the top of the Dungeon's stairs.
"Yes?" Harry replied distractedly as he cautiously made his way down the steps.
"Do you remember when you told me that you had to rush our relationship in order to save my life?"
"Yes." He gave the potions master an inquiring look.
"You must have known that for quite some time before coming here," Severus stated, hoping that his lover would understand.
"Ah, I see what you're asking. Really, Severus, you don't have to beat around the bush so much.
"I admit I was shocked when the first vision of our relationship assailed me. But I had a lot of time to think about it and I had the advantage of knowing that you loved me too. I suppose without really realizing it, I developed feelings for you since I found out you saved my life in first year.
"And then, of course, I got to see how it would all work out. All the wonderful happy memories we would make together."
Severus harrumphed and opened the door to their chambers. "How lucky for you to know all this."
Harry chuckled and took Snape's chin in his hand. "Don't deny it, Severus. You know you love it."
His lips twitched but Severus refused to agree. "It is hardly fair that you know ahead of time if-"
The Gryffindor cut him off with a kiss and he had no choice but to succumb. Severus sighed into Harry's desire as it turned into his own faster than lightening. He wanted so much for Harry to claim, brand, own him.
Harry roughly pushed him up against the wall and lined up their bodies. Friction in all the right places had Severus' eyes rolling to the back of his head.
"Take me, Harry!" He moaned and he began to tremble. A hand in his hair and Snape tipped his head, begging for a kiss that didn't come.
"Open your eyes." He did. Green orbs stared into his earnestly. "Are you sure about this? Do you want to bond?"
The words drew a loud groan from Severus and he struggled to form a coherent answer. "Yes, Merlin Harry, please!" A strangled moan came from Harry and he kissed the corner of Severus' lips. "Fuck me, already!"
It was more blissful than ever before, having finally whispered his secret desire. Now Severus could know without a doubt that Harry would take care of him. He could trust Harry explicitly. Which was something unknown to Snape throughout his life until this moment. After Harry's rather passionate love confession, Severus knew that he was the only one who could provide such irrefutable support.
Moaning "husband," into Harry's lips released such a feeling of completeness that Severus collapsed onto the bed that was quite suddenly under him.
"My dear, dear, Severus," Harry whispered as he lifted the Slytherin's hips. For the first time, a jar of lube found its way into their bed. Potter dipped his fingers in and proceeded to prepare his lover. Severus was already begging when the first finger entered him. He wanted the spell, he wanted to be fucked now. But Harry seemed determined to take his time. Another two fingers later and Severus felt as though he were an inch for coming.
"Merlin, Harry! I want you now!"
"Yes, Severus, now." Harry thrust into him and both of them moaned. Too far gone to go slow, Harry pounded into his lover. Soon, Severus was screaming Harry's name and gripping the headboard as he came long and hard.
Harry was pacing in Severus' living room and Snape was curled up in his favorite chair with a cup of tea. The reason for Potter's distressed state was his resolution to discuss last night's development in their relationship. Severus, on the other hand, believed that the Gryffindor could just use his powers to find out and did not want to talk about it.
"A bond... You realize this would combine our magics? This would make us both an extremely powerful force. We'd have to find a way to channel it. Explosive sex can only go so far, as is may end up in pregnancy."
"Pregnancy?" Severus repeated in shock, clutching his cup of tea closer. "Not yet, Harry... Not yet."
"I know," Harry graced his love with a smile.
Snape avoided the affectionate look and changed the subject. "How do you channel your excess magic?"
"Into the universe, into time, however you want to explain it." Severus stared at him, a feeling of awe washing over him. At the same time part of his mind told him he really should stop being surprised when it came to power and Harry. Fingers brushing his hair brought him back to reality, where he found himself meeting the gaze of precious emerald orbs.
"Why do I love you?" The words escaped before he could stop them. Severus clamped a hand over his mouth, as if he would take them back. Pleading dark eyes looked over the hand, the potions master almost in a panic for Harry's reaction.
"You know I can't answer that, love."
"Is it the mind-blowing sex?" he blurted, suddenly unable to stop the rant. "It is the way your hair can never be tamed? Is it the way you look at me? It is the way you hold me? Am I really under a powerful love spell? Am I dead or dreaming?" Severus knew in his heart that the last two could never be true but his logical mind wouldn't let the possibility go. "Is this another of Dumbledore's mind games?"
Harry raised an eyebrow and gently pulled Snape from his chair into his lap, tea and all. Despite his doubts, the Slytherin snuggled closer, fearing his own memories at his last accusation.
"Dumbledore played mind games with you?"
Severus nodded and attempted to escape the explanation by burying his face in Harry's chest.
"Love," he felt a kiss on the top of his head and the strong arms holding him tightened.
"Haven't you ever wondered why I have a Master in Occlumency and Legilimency? But I could never win against him. It was like being tossed into a Pensive, only everything felt so real... He constantly wanted to test my loyalties, conjuring happy solutions that would compromise my position as spy and Death Eater. None of them was you coming back. You were always dead." The potions master shuddered, feeling cold from the assaulting memories. "Fortunately, because of your absence and consequential death, I blamed Voldemort and turned my rage on him. It seemed to satisfy Albus."
"Oh, Severus. You've been through so much and yet you still think Dumbledore is a saint?"
"His actions are justifiable."
"Just because they were justifiable doesn't mean his motives or reasons were right. He was playing you like a pawn in chess. Just like he was me."
Snape pulled back to look at him, confused. "But you are the Savior."
"Oh, bullshit. Dumbledore only wanted to make sure I had enough abuse and loneliness in my life that I would turn to no one but him. Then - of course - train me to his specifications so that I would kill Voldemort, but die in the process. Make me believe that I had to sacrifice myself. Which wasn't entirely true. I was a Horcrux, but I had cleansed his soul from me a long time ago."
"He always told me..." he trailed off, unable to find the words for the memories suddenly rearranging themselves into another order. "How did you break the Horcrux in you?"
"I was meditating one day and noticed a darkness attached to my soul. I proceeded to remove it," Harry shrugged. "Hurt, but I was glad I did it."
Severus stared up at his lover with wide eyes. Potter met them and broke into a soft laughter. "Oh, Severus, my love. Do you have to question our love?"
"This is why I request a bond. I would not have to anymore."
"Ah." Harry was silent for a moment. "I want it to be special, but we can't really go anywhere in the middle of the school year."
"A weekend. Not at Hogwarts?"
"No. There are too many bad memories here."
"I thought Hogwarts was your home?"
"It never was, not while Dumbledore was here."
"What about Canada? I had a relative there once."
Harry was silent, giving his lover a strange look. "Why are you lying?"
Severus stood suddenly and went over to his potions cupboard. He lifted three bottles on the second shelf and drew out a brochure. The potions master handed it Harry and curled up in his lap again.
"I found it after a raid on what must been the Muggles' winter home. I've dreamt of going there since. The wide open space, those giant mounds of jagged rock, all seems so primitive and free. It would be perfect to go there for our bonding."
Harry opened the brochure to find it for Banff National Park in Canada, of all places. The cabins looked beautiful, they even included a kitchen and living room. It also proclaimed of all the amazing outdoor things to do while staying there. In his mind, Harry had been everywhere imaginable in the world. But of course, it was never the same as actually being there, and Banff looked remote enough to be away from prying wizard eyes.
"Do you want to bond the Muggle way?"
Severus shook his head and snuggled closer to Harry.
"We'll need someone from the Wizengamot then."
Both of them thought for a moment until Snape decided on, "Amelia Bones."